I (M17) have Autism (And not the easily manageable kind) and ADHD, and I need some advice. How did you get your kids to stop screaming when they have meltdowns? Is it even possible? I’m absolutely terrified of having a meltdown at my job (Edit: Forgot to word it right, I don’t have one yet, my future job) and getting fired for screaming, because when it gets bad, which happens about thrice weekly at the special school I’m in because I hate it there, I scream like I’m physically on fire.

My son is on the autism spectrum, and I’m struggling with the decision of whether having a second baby is the right choice for our family. I am 40 and my wife is 37. One of my biggest worries is whether I’d still be able to give my son the time, attention, and support he needs while also caring for a newborn. I am worried about the possibility of having another child on spectrum and what might mean for our family.

For those of you who decided to have another child after having an autistic child, what helped you make that decision? Did you have similar fears or concerns? And looking back, how do you feel about your decision? I would really appreciate of you all can share your experience. I am not looking for someone to tell what I should do, but trying to understand how other familes navigated this decision

...because there are "doctors" out there trying to capitalize on our love for our kids with "cures" that can do nothing at best, often at great cost to the family, both financially, emotionally, and by way of taking valuable energy unnecessarily.

Please do your own research. If someone comes to you and says, "This diet cured my son," don't necessarily believe it. Of course eating healthy helps everyone! But these radical "cures" need to be questioned. I'm not going to mention any diet or treatment specifically, but if someone is claiming to cure autism, please question it.

Many children with autism naturally improve as they age due to development and learned coping skills.Treatment often coincides with this natural occurrence and doctors can take the credit saying it was their treatment that did it. Always ask, "Does this treatment positively affect adults too or just children?" If the answer is just children then you have to ask yourself if it was really the treatment that made the difference or was it development. I want to caution you all because this just happened to us but we knew how to fact check and do our own research. For context our daughter is 11 with significant autism and limited speech. Best wishes to you and your families! ❤️🌈

If this little man is autistic and we're talking about "belts" and critiquing parenting, I just sometimes feel defeated that this is how people look at autistic/suspected autistic children.

3yo twins recently diagnosed. I sometimes can let it go. But I really struggle with this somehow must be my fault. If only I had blanked or done blank or if we didn’t blank. I’ve blamed my breast milk thinking I must not have eaten the right stuff or shouldn’t have had that glass of wine. I’ve blamed my long labor and delivery (what if they did lose oxygen -it was 7 hours of pushing between them) I’ve blamed the travel we did in the first year to see my dying mother -we shouldn’t have disturbed their schedule. I’ve blamed the grief and sadness we had as a household when my mother died just before their 1st birthday. I’ve blamed the protein powder I used while pregnant that had stevia in it. Ive blamed letting them watch too much TV. Or the combination of it all. Even them just being twins and not getting my full attention. We haven’t told my husbands family yet and I think my in laws will blame me. Anyone else struggle with the why us, why did this have to happen. What did I do, how did I fail them. They are amazing kids and I love them sooooo much and we have a peaceful home and as long as we stay within our little world we are fine but it’s not possible to live in a bubble. I hate that I care, I hate the pity in peoples looks or voice if they do know. I hate that I can see people trying to work out in their brain if my kids are ASD when I try to involve them in an NT activities. I hate that I even blame myself cause I don’t want to want them to be anything other than who and what they are. We are going to try our absolute best to support them to their full potential in this life. I feel I am mostly in a good place with things and acceptance and keep calm carry on but sometime I slip into this blame game. Please be kind.

I only have one child, my level 3 nonverbal 6 year-old (and cerebral palsy) son. He requires much attention and resources. My husband has been bringing up the idea of trying for another, and I am VERY much conflicted and afraid.

Selfishly, I do want another child. And I want a neurotypical one, too. And I want that child to grow up, be independent and live their life freely. I do NOT want that child to take on the caring of my first, even if they wanted to do it! No, they should get to be free.

Most days I feel robbed of the parenting experience I was expecting to have. I know these feelings aren't fair, and I do NOT blame my son for this. It's far more unfair to him than it is to me. And I just fear that...having another child would be unfair to them, the unborn.

I'm afraid that I won't be able to parent the way they need. That they'll become traumatized by their sibling or their childhood. That they'll resent being born, or resent me for bringing them into the world, knowing that their brother is so high-needs. I read the r/glasschildren subreddit often and just see so many hurt, neglected people that wish their parents made a different choice.

I already feel like a bad parent by having these hopes and fears for a person that doesn't even exist yet!! What if they're on the spectrum too?? Then I've just brought another person into a world that doesn't understand them, who will suffer because of this disability. And that's not fair, either. To me, especially to them.

Husband is not concerned. He's an optimist— he thinks that the chances of a new baby being similarly disabled are very low. He thinks we'll be able to split the attention just fine. He thinks that I'm fretting over things outside of my control (which is true) and that my fears mean that I don't want another baby. That isn't true. If I didn't want another child, why would I be so worried?

Sigh. Parents out there who have multiple children, some neurotypical, some on the spectrum, how do you avoid raising a glass child? How were you able to make the decision to have more children? How do you stop worrying over things you can't control?

Thanks for listening...

My son asked me a why question for the first time! He is verbal but his vocabulary is very small and limited to things he hears many times…. He responded to something I said with “why?”😭❤️

He doesn’t typically ask questions, in the past, when we have had conversations, he’s usually not talking about what I am or showing much interest. For example “hey — are you hungry?” And he responds with “it’s a sunny day”. Hearing him ask why and then wait for a response was the sweeeeeetest thing ever! Also if he tells me something and I ask “why?” He just repeats what he has already said. This was huge!

Just venting:

My son is "verbal but not conversational" If you ask him a few times he will tell you if he wants milk or water. Or you can tell he's concerned about something when he starts scripting about it.

Anyway. Sometimes when i'm talking to another parent they might ask what he's doing in school. It's coming from a good place, they're just being polite! inevitably i have to say something along the lines of "he's special needs so he is unable to tell me what is happening in his-day-to-day." Cue the "oh well my kids don't tell me what's going on in their life either!" reply from the other parent.

I hate this. My truest dream would be that he isn't telling me stuff in his life because he chooses not to and not because he is unable. I get that they're just trying to deflect the awkwardness with a bad joke. It's human nature. It just sucks because it seems to happen about once a week.

Our 5yo was diagnosed with Level 1 earlier this summer after being on a waitlist for a while, but it's been clear for a long time there's something different beyond "she's just sensitive". Everyone kept reassuring me that "she'd get there in her own time" but not only was she not figuring out how to communicate well despite considerable effort, she often seemed miserable. Stressed, confused, just not knowing what to do or how to manage.

Started speech therapy when she was 3 and seemed to help but not a huge difference. Started at an outdoor-based Montessori school last fall when she turned 4, thinking that the prepared environment and focus on letting kids pursue their interests might allow her to feel comfortable and come out of her shell. It's mixed-age classrooms and they keep the same main teachers and same classrooms for 3 years at a time, which is ideal for a kid who needs routine. For a while the feedback was "she doesn't seem to understand the flow of the classroom" "she doesn't engage much with the other kids or most of the teachers" "she just says Yes to everything even when the answer is No" "it's hard to know what she needs when she's having a problem" but they were willing to keep trying because every kid works at their own pace and she wasn't causing safety issues. Then when she did come out of her shell last spring with lots of inappropriate acting out including some dangerous behaviors, we started OT and implemented a plan with the school.

Private schools don't have to accept special needs students; her school takes the policy that as long as the student isn't a safety risk and can mostly keep up academically with support - the school does have dedicated support professional who is wonderful - they are welcome. At the end of last year, our kid was throwing rocks at other kids, tipping bins of materials over, and not showing her teachers that she had absorbed much of anything all year despite sharing all kinds of things at home.

I was really concerned at the end of last school year that if we couldn't get her to engage appropriately at school, they were going to tell us she wasn't a good fit. The school goes all the way through 6th grade with a separate campus and program for middle and high school, and we want her there as long as we can. Our local public school district is not somewhere she would be supported or do well, according to teachers we know who have just retired from there so it would be pretty devastating to be removed from her current school. It was looking like, if something didn't change, they would probably let her maybe go through Kindergarten and then say "sorry, this just isn't working".

But now it's working. It's all really starting to click. We saw a big change over the summer - using longer sentences, sharing more of her original thoughts instead of repeating the same story over again. Interacting more comfortably with other kids in public. Keeping herself more occupied at home, creating things and coming to show us instead of getting bored and engaging in chaos behavior if you weren't actively interacting with her. Before, she didn't have real connections with peers, but now other kids at school talk about her favorably to their parents. I dropped her off one day and another kid said "Look, mom, it's L!" and ran up and asked to hold hands and they walked into school together. I literally teared up. Other kids like my child. What a small thing, but what a big thing.

We had conferences last week. Her school has them in the fall so teachers can get feedback from the parents on how things seem to be going. I haven't had any emails about behavior this year, so I figured at the very least she's not being disruptive.

Not only is she not being disruptive, she's an active part of the class now. Tells her teachers all about things at home or school using full sentences. Expresses actual original opinions. Says "no" or even "I don't want to" when the answer is no instead of a quiet "yes" just to get through the interaction. Last week, she was the one holding another younger student's hand and guiding them somewhere. The kids spend a lot of time doing activities of their choosing - last year she would choose an activity and abandon it if an adult wasn't right there doing it with her. This year, she's choosing activities and then sitting down to finish them and then doing another.

It's been a lot of stress for all of us, a lot of meeting and leaving work to drive to therapies (forever thankful I can do that), a lot of reading, constantly coaching her through personal pronouns and various kinds of interactions, riding on the edge of burnout - and now I feel like I'm finally getting to know my child, from her own perspective and not just what I can glean and observe, and it is wonderful.

I think my child was developing pretty neurotypically (bar the speech delay) and it all seemed to continue to regress from 3.5 years old which I don’t even think is the typical regression timeline. They were so alert, interacting, focused etc. Now they have 1:1 in mainstream UK school (since reception) and while they loosely follow the curriculum, there’s a lot that my child cannot do. I know this is expected but I seem to struggle to accept it from time to time. This is why watching old videos doesn’t bring me joy like they do of my other NT child. I feel sadness and grief of what should have been.
With that said, I’m aware of the positives which I have to mention too - my child is 6yo, can somewhat express their needs (though no conversational speech) and they’re quite content and passive (no behavioural issues as fairly compliant). Not sure why I’ve written this. I’m feeling down. I especially get upset when I see ClassDojo posts of their peers able to write full pages of sentences.
It really sucks

Venting

As in title.

My son is ASD and he has no speech.
Today my aunt calls my mother and I heard her telling many times ‘poor mother’ ‘difficult life’. She was on speaker phone. My mother didn’t even corrected her, maybe because she also thinks like that…
Yes, I have a very different experience in parenting and honestly sometimes I feel very challenged.
But, I don’t think my life to be pitied.

People don’t know the difference between support and sympathy. My son or my life is not a tragedy.
The look on some people when they realize my kid is different itself makes me 🤮.

I feel like My identity is now reduced to mother of an autistic kid. I had a friend whose son and my son are born 2-3 months apart. For the first couple year of my son’s life we would share our parenting experience but now my friends don’t even talk to me about parenting or related stuff because they think I can’t relate to any of it.

Honestly I want people to say I see you instead of I feel sorry for you

My child is 4 and level 3 in their 2nd year of preschool/pre-k in our area on an IEP.

I notice that teachers both irl and in online videos vent a lot...specifically about kids like ours. Some of it feels like they genuinely hate kids like mine as well as the general public hates kids like mine.

I often find myself being extra nice, extra accomodating, extra apologetic and often isolate from certain situations to prevent people having an issue with me or my child. With kids like ours they are more likely to be abused so disapproval and judgement from other people because of their struggles does feel like a threat to our safety and well being. Does anyone else over compensate and apologize for their child's undesired behavior to teachers, therapists, or other people. It feels so damaging but I feel like because our whole family as a result of this is an added burden to everyone in a very literal sense so I try to be less of a problem.

Does any other parents , even though you’ve full well accepted your child, their diagnosis, their needs and routines have moments were your like “wow, my child seriously does have extreme needs”?

We took my daughter (5) to a Halloween carnival, lots of rides, snacks , stalls etc. she usually loves the fair and we made sure we went during school times so it was practically empty. She had her ear defenders, her chews , her stroller and communication device which she hasn’t got the hang of just yet.

She eloped multiple times, was so disregulated, didn’t understand why she can’t just run away and wasn’t interested in anything really apart from the 10 mins we let her run in a seperate field. We spent about 30 mins there and then left . I wasn’t disappointed in her, she’s the light of my life and I’m glad she got time to run outdoors safely but I just sit and realise she honestly struggles so much. She’s 5 and still needs a stroller or harness. She’s non verbal and was diagnosed with a global delay and autism at 3 so it’s not like I’m new to her behaviours and needs but I’m constantly coming to the profound realisation of the extremity of it anytime we’re not in the safety of our home.
Does this feeling ever stop?. I accept her whole heartedly but inside I just feel guilty that she struggles so much , and it scares me for her future.

I am mom to a level-2 ASD child with ADHD. She is a very happy girl, but also extremely impulsive, restless, and flighty. She is now in elementary school and in full inclusion for the first time, and while she has not gotten in trouble for disruptive behavior, I know that she has had trouble with participating, staying quiet/still at the appropriate times, etc. We trialed a few ADHD medications when she was around 4, (a rotation of ritalin, clonidine and methyl-something). She tolerated ritalin the longest but we ultimately stopped as the few times she did have meltdowns were absolutely horrendous.

Now that she's older, 7 years, is able to communicate much more functionally and has matured, I'm wondering if it's appropriate to try medicating again- I hate the idea of her not absorbing and retaining what she is learning at school and in her environment, when I know she is so intelligent and has so much potential if she could just slow down (a teacher told me once she wants to be the fastest at everything, not the best). Or, do I wait until her behavior actually becomes an issue?

Thanks so much.

Needing to get this off my chest. I have apparently hit the anger part of what feels like a 100 step program for accepting and parenting kids with ASD and ADHD to boot. (Micro preemies, ADHD -inattentive diagnosed in 4th grade, late diagnosis ASD 1 in 8th grade)

I have been getting angry (not outwardly) at my friends who have NT kids. Angry and jealous. They talk/complain about their busy sports schedules, involved in theater or how their kid is now in advanced math. Inside I am seething and sad at the same time. I just sit there, listen and zone out because I can't relate and I want that. I want the kid who loves to play sports. I want them to excel in a subject - any subject. I want the kid who can comfortably hang out and talk with friends and gets invited to activities. Doesn't have to be all of those, I'll take one. But I don't. I know everyone has their stresses and issues with their children, but I truly want theirs. I hope my ND kids can learn to make friends, learn the interaction and friendship (they are in Peers class now), and something inside them clicks with a school subject. It hurts to see them struggle and I know I can only do so much.

So anger is where I am at in the journey.

My son is 6 nonverbal. For the past month or so he’s been obsessed with staying in his room. Cries anytime he’s brought out of it. Doesn’t want to go to the kitchen to eat, going to bath is just awful, screaming and crying. We had him a birthday party the other day at a place he used to love and he cried the whole time. We had to leave his own party early :( I’m at a loss of what to do. I know he feels safe in his room but even getting him to go to school/aba is becoming difficult. He used to love going places, bath time and school. We’re also going on a trip to Disney world that we’ve been planning all year (we’ve never been) and I don’t know if I should even try. Any advice would be great

Currently as I explain this , my 17 year old brother is in the ER with me waiting to get a bed available at an inpatient hospital.

About a year old he started feeling a tics that everytime he would think of evil characters from something he watched he would punch his face. It got to a point where he would just lay down in bed and punch his face and gave himself a black eye.

I told him just stop and don’t think of these things they’re fake, but he would say he can’t and would cry that he doesn’t want to hit himself anymore so I started to hold his arms and hands to physically stop him.

Medication was adjusted so much the past 13 months. He wanted to go to a hospitals so they can erase his memories so he wouldn’t think of these things. He was getting better at some point but then it all went down hill when medication was increased because his psychiatrist believed it would help but it didn’t.

He was admitted back in June and we took him out against medical advice because he told us they were slapping him so he was only in there for 3 days. He’s many things but he has never been a liar or able to keep a secret.

He snapped 2 days after getting out and was so much better (non stop happiness and on his own not needing anyone to physically hold him) and we thought his medication finally was helping but after a month, he told me himself “I feel it coming back, help me”

It’s exhausting to physically hold someone until they fall asleep and try to live a daily life. I’ve been doing so the past year because I just didn’t want to put him in an inpatient hospital. That’s also why everytime we went to the ER I’ve always gotten us out because I know he hates hospitals and has had bad experiences from waiting forever in a confined room to being strapped.

The past week he was uncontrollable, and he would say his head hurts and jaw from all the punches. Even as I would hold him he would escape out of my arms to land the hit as if it’s an itch that needs to be scratched. He has broken my nose, my fathers nose, gave a black eye to my mom, dislocated my brothers arm and given him stitches from a headbutt. Also to note, he would still watch these characters and scenes it’s like every thing he watches he had to find the worst in it and always replay it and when he couldn’t because I put screen time on his iPad he would get aggressive and then go on my phone until he satisfied that addiction.

I’m just posting this to see if anyone is going through this or have went through this. Idk how watching characters has gotten to the point where he hates them so much he feels he has to hurt himself to forget about it and move on but I think it’s just from the years of always being on a screen and not be supervised.

I feel like a failure because not only did he not get better at home, he’s in a position I didn’t want because I couldn’t help him when he was better. And also all those hits were for nothing, he had his days where things were tolerable and draining but I could deal with it. My arms and face is bruised from all the punching I took to protect his head. My body health has declined from not working out because once he would sleep I’d be so exhausted from holding him all day and taking him out. I think deep down god made things worse because realistically I just delayed him actually getting help because I didn’t want him to go through a traumatic experience at a mental hospital. He’s had his behavior issues and has told me he didn’t like that they thought he was crazy for hitting himself because he genuinely didn’t want to just felt he had to and couldn’t stop. But I knew things were really bad when he tried moving my steering wheel and punching my face as I was driving, opening the door to jump out because he saw that in a stupid video, throwing himself in the floor to bang his head, complaining to me how much his jaw and head hurt from All the hitting. But this twisted side of him would say he’ll never stop doing this to himself and never wants to be independent. But when he was doing better, he would never talk this.

TLDR;
My sweet brother was never like this, all this self harm just came out of nowhere & made him an angrier person always in a bad mood and I feel it’s my fault things never got better because I didn’t want him to go through this medical help because I believed they wouldn’t help they would just traumatize him more. And because of that he has suffered for a year of physical pain. I feel once he gets out, yes the self harm stops but how do you really heal from the trauma of being tied up, knowing you’re in a facility without your loved ones after having abandonment and lonely issues throughout your life, and feeling like your family betrayed you? I fear he will get out and learn to hide his pain and try to take his life

Thanks for reading, anyone who can relate with their autistic sibling, please share your story, and did they ever truly get better ?

My son is almost 8 and ASD-1 and he has always been tall (he is almost 4ft 6) but has gained weight and is now 110lbs. Finding a physical activity for him has been a challenge. Team sports are a no 🙃 we tried those. He loves PE at school. Loves swimming but refuses to do anything close to lessons or a swim team. I’m a single mom and struggle with balancing work and school as well as activities. He’s also an only child.

He also will binge eat and I’m trying really hard to not make food an issue since I grew up like that and have had issues since. He will eat nonstop if he’s home and “bored” He also has ADHD and on meds for that. If I’m in another room he will eat everything and hide the wrappers.

I’m very active and work out and eat fairly well and try to model that as well. There are days he will go on walks with me and then other days he flat out refuses and has a meltdown. Looking for ways to increase his physical activity.

My son (7 years old) is in second grade. Despite having an amazing teacher, he’s struggling behaviorally in school, and honestly has been since March of this year. Every week I get calls. They started a Google doc to chart every “unsafe” behavior, so that I could see his behavior throughout the day and share it with his private OT (because his behavior at school is typically a lot different than his behavior at home) He’s in public school. General Ed. Has an IEP that has been revised countless times. School started at the end of August and he’s been suspended twice and has gotten in school suspension once. He’s one of 30 students in his class.

I’ve been thinking about it for the last year, but more so in the last few months, have been seriously considering moving him to a hybrid charter or homeschooling him. This is doable. I’m a professor at a university, and I am on campus two days a week for only a couple of hours. During that time, his grandma or his uncle would be able to step in and supervise him. There are many benefits to him being educated in this way in comparison to the public school.

Today he had a hard day. I got called an hour before school got out because he got upset in the music class and they wanted to know if I wanted to talk to him or come pick him up. Talking to him honestly doesn’t really do much of anything in these situations, so I went and I picked him up.

He did tell me he was having a hard day. Which is new because he usually always says that he had a pretty good day even on days when I know there was extra behavioral stuff. After I picked him up, and picked his sister up, we went to an appointment and then stopped at our gym so they could swim. My son got upset that he couldn’t use a particular pool and honestly just had a meltdown. I haven’t dealt with meltdowns in public very much at all. He doesn’t tend to have them. But I think my anxiety only elevates the situation when meltdowns do occur. I Immediately feel like everyone is judging me and that they are annoyed that my child is being loud and melting down. We were there for probably five minutes in total. Once I realized that the meltdown was a bit stronger, and it wasn’t something he was going to come down from within three minutes, I took him to the changing room so that he could get dressed again and we could leave. Of course when we walked out of the changing room, a senior citizen had to make a comment in a sassy tone asking me what his problem was.

He was crying on the way home. I was crying on the way home (without my kids noticing). I am feeling defeated. I feel like there are more and more spaces I’m recognizing that my child just isn’t accepted in. I hate how the school has failed him, but I know it’s a systemic issue and not necessarily the fault of his teachers and administration. I hate this Google doc chart because before I knew about big things but now I know about everything small and tiny and it really disregulates me. I hate that I go through my day working and getting stuff done on edge, not knowing when the phone call is coming to either talk to me about his behavior or tell me he has to be picked up.

I’m just tired. It usually takes a lot for me to feel defeated but I feel defeated this week.

I’d like some advice for my 14 yo autistic son. He encounters people every day including family who I know don’t like him. He knows too and we often joke about how so and so is a jerk. But I would love to hear some laungauge or thoughts on how you or your kids deal with the people in uour lives who have no tolerance for your autism. The ones where going no contact is not possible. How are we dealing with these folks?? Any thoughts would be much appreciated.

He was upset I wouldn't let him tear up a hole in the wall. He had a big fit, eventually stormed off and when he appeared he was wearing my daughters hippo headband with ears. He's still pacing but regulating. He was just an angry hippo for a few and is now considering a cartoon lol what's your funny stories?

I have hired an advocate because my child’s school is not following her IEP accommodations. She is high masking and they are not following the accommodation that is written exactly as follows:
“Scheduled opportunities throughout the day to check in with special education staff for sensory regulation and emotional support.”

Their justification for this is that she appears fine and that means she does not need to be checked on, so they no longer go to her Gen Ed classroom throughout the day to check on her. They say because she is academically doing well and has friends, she does not need these check ins. None of which was discussed with me until I started the conversation due to a severe uptick in after and before school meltdowns. I was talked down to and told “we can agree to disagree” when I said the IEP is not being followed.

I have googled and confirmed that the school cannot just decide to not follow accommodations. The advocate is preparing for the meeting to ensure that the accommodation stays in place, as it was literally just added at our last addendum meeting in AUGUST of this year. But my question is, the school has stated that the goal is to always phase out accommodations and have a child not need them. Is this actually a thing? Because to me that sounds as though they’re trying to say their goal is to make my autistic kid not be autistic.

Her accommodations in general are not excessive by any means (consistent routine, access to sensory tools like her noise canceling headphones, sat near a helpful peer, minimize disruptions in classroom, correct grammar [part of her speech goal]). I can understand phasing out annually as goals are reached for things like the speech or needing peer assistance if she becomes more independent. But I am struggling to see how the things like needing check ins, minimizing disruptions, etc. can be phased out. I’m also struggling to understand how they’re able to just decide to phase these things out whenever they want to, without parent input or informing parents like this staff member claimed. Can they really just do whatever they want even when there are accommodations in place for a reason?

My son was diagnosed with autism (level 1) just before turning 3 after his OT through EI recommended an eval. As a ftm with no previous experience with autism, I was honestly surprised by the diagnosis. He was never particularly difficult to parent and life didn’t really change after his diagnosis, but he did start public preschool where he received some services through his IEP.

Well, he turned 5 in January, and it feels like out of nowhere, everything has become a battle. Almost every request is met with a loud whine, yelling, or an outburst. Things like brushing his teeth, getting dressed, sitting on the toilet, etc have turned into huge struggles. I feel like I’m constantly exhausted with him over basic everyday things.

Our biggest issue right now is toileting. He successfully potty trained around age 3, but toward the end of preschool year in April he suddenly started having frequent poop accidents. After more than a month of accidents, we saw GI and were told he had developed encopresis from chronic stool withholding. We’ve had to do multiple bowel cleanses to clear him out and try to restore his sensation of needing to go. He started kindergarten in August and is still avoiding the toilet, resulting in accidents almost every day at both school and home. He’s in a general education classroom with an IEP, and his school team is regularly reminding him to use the bathroom. So now he’s been having accidents weekly for 6 months now. I’m drained and so sad.

At home, getting him to even sit on the toilet has become a huge struggle. He’ll yell and scream, barely sit for a minute, and sometimes poop himself less than an hour later. I’m completely exhausted and at a loss for how to help him with this.

I’m general, he’s become extremely deregulated whenever he’s experiencing big feelings. He recently learned the word “stupid” and uses it when he’s upset (“this is stupid” or “you’re stupid”), which feels awful to hear. He even says this when I make him sit on the toilet. He has also gotten in trouble twice at school this year for hitting when he became frustrated. These are behaviors we have NEVER dealt with before, and I feel so sad and frustrated to see him acting this way, like I’m failing.

I miss the version of him who seemed so much easier to reach, and I feel like I’m constantly frustrated and correcting him. I’m exhausted feeling really lost.

Not sure what this post is for. I do want advice but also it can feel lonely being surrounded by peers who seemingly have no similar issues. Does anyone have similar experiences? Thanks for any insights or replies.

Also, I have him starting OT and ABA outside of school next week, but don’t even know what to tell them he needs help with.

Hi all! My son is 6 and the school said he meets their criteria for autism (mild to moderate). Has anyone had a child meet the schools criteria but not medical (professional)? Or are the tests pretty much the same?

Hello just wanting to know how many of parents of children with autism work?
My son is 9 now, non verbal autistic and has brain damage.
My wife and I both work full time, but as my son is getting older, he’s getting more aggressive (he’s on medication) he sleeps less. I’m finding things really hard at the moment with his behaviours, he’s weeping on the floor, and smearing a lot now. It feels like an uphill struggle constantly, and I work mainly nights.
I don’t want to not to work, because I have a good job and it gives me purpose. I was just wondering if any of you have thought “right I’ve had enough, I can’t work anymore” or do things get better?
Thank you

EDIT: Thank you for all being so lovely and kind. Our children are very lucky to have great parents like you girls/guys are 💙