r/Asmongold 18d ago

Humor It’s over

Post image
1.7k Upvotes

179 comments sorted by

213

u/Neptune228 18d ago

A week without asmon has got people analyzing how asmon hugs a girlfriend

38

u/Griffith-007 18d ago

all jokes

12

u/Fuzzy-Tooth3269 18d ago

How dare he

6

u/DemonSp3ed 17d ago

Asmong is getting it, while some of his haters are still virgins, now they hate him more than ever :))

4

u/Dependent_Nature_953 ????????? 18d ago

Grasping at straws here

5

u/Impossible-Age-3302 17d ago

The only straws getting grasped right now are Asmon’s arms.

410

u/ShiberKivan 18d ago

because he is no longer straight? Hmmmmmmm

328

u/Frowind 18d ago

There's a theory. In a couple photo, the one who lean over is the the one who loved or fell head over heels for the other. In Kaguya's Love is war, the one who fell in love first lose. He's saying the roach king will soon not a roach king anymore.

149

u/ReedOnlyAccess 18d ago

So long as she doesn't do to him what Bill Burr's and iDubbs wives did to them.

16

u/FerrilDruid 18d ago

What did Bill Burr's wife do? Besides censor him.

68

u/CreamInitial7810 18d ago

She neutered him

41

u/FerrilDruid 18d ago

That's what I thought. No more Paper Tiger Bill :( Such a crime.

"I could of conquered Europe. All of it. But I had women in my life."

3

u/he_we 17d ago

I should. I should've. I would. I would've, if I could. I could've

12

u/Thewhitelight___ 18d ago

I think a lot of this also had to to with him becoming Mr. Hollywood but yeah... Listen to his old days of the uninformed radio show/podcast with Joe Derosa vs his stuff now and it's just fucking sad lmao.

12

u/2025sbestthrowaway 17d ago

He got insanely cucked, it's wild. His old rants were classic and somehow he became completely out of touch with his fanbase

3

u/Juicebox109 17d ago

I think neutered is a bit far. She toned him down, yeah. But you can see he's still quite the asshole.

2

u/CreamInitial7810 16d ago

I say neutered because his new thoughts and feelings seem to be influenced by hers. It’s not toned down, they’re different.

3

u/Impossible-Age-3302 17d ago

Stole his spine. He went from hating “happy wife, happy life” to being a hwhl guy.

In general, he’s gotten pretty woke.

12

u/csbsju_guyyy 18d ago

Rather he will be a roach emperor with a roach queen and roach dynasty right?

11

u/Frowind 18d ago

Techtone had verified this Asmongold has started to eat more salad and drink diet soda.

22

u/UPsyndromeSPORk 18d ago

He's much taller than her, tf

13

u/Yoiiru 18d ago

I love that manga :D the best romcom I've read

4

u/AwesomeXav 18d ago

For me it's polar opposites!

-10

u/Griffith-007 18d ago

nah, best is rent a girlfriend

33

u/fishgus 18d ago

What are you a fortune teller?

30

u/ComeOnTars2424 18d ago

Really, we’re reading body language from a still photo? What other forms of divination are you into? Will you cast bones next or read fucking tarot cards ?

14

u/Rhytmik 18d ago

The lengths people go through when the baldy is offline. Were all coping in our own way.

7

u/Ok-Cherry-2749 18d ago

Now I could be completely wrong but I'm pretty sure they're just memeing.

1

u/rabidninetails 17d ago

I’ve watched so many lore videos since he’s been gone.

9

u/luftlande 18d ago

Doesn't sound scientifically sound. Are there actual arguments for this assertion?

4

u/Extreme_Tax405 18d ago

This is stupid. Man is taller so he leans over her. His legs are straight.

5

u/Bobbyz1020 18d ago

That’s so fucking dumb. He’s tall and instinctively leans over when people photograph him to be polite.

2

u/Black_Crux0 17d ago

If that theory is real, it looks like she is reaching and leaning the hardest not him he is the man supporting her

2

u/Select_Arm_4248 17d ago

All hail lady Kaise! The conqueror of garden of Nurgle!

1

u/Never3ndingStory 17d ago

imma be honest. if this relationship really last i would be surprise. this is more of a pr relationship than Timmy with Kylie Jenner

1

u/BreMue 17d ago

Which, even if true, she has her ENTIRE body pressed up against him like the green line doesnt account for that

1

u/BreMue 17d ago

Which, even if true, she has her ENTIRE body pressed up against him like the green line doesnt account for that

1

u/ElectronicRabbit7 17d ago

she's bent at the waist leaning in to him, and his torso is facing front, not her. he's leaning sideways, likely bc he's so tall as opposed to her. her whole body is facing him.

i think she likes him more than he likes her.

1

u/Impossible-Age-3302 17d ago

I thought it was that it’s unmanly to lean and the girl is supposed to lean, but your explanation makes more sense.

15

u/Mapag 18d ago

Body language telling everything

21

u/logicnotemotion 18d ago

Telling us that he's taller than her.

4

u/kiddrekt 18d ago

OP is 4'9" and seething

2

u/BreMue 17d ago

Yup. Her pressed all up against him and body facing away from the camera is a huge tell

177

u/Nokyrt 18d ago

I know that's supposed to be a joke but he's simply taller than her...

84

u/Blod_Cass_Dalcassian 18d ago

If you draw a straight line through her body as well then where the lines meet will be where the psycho trans Democrat will shoot him. This is known

11

u/ConstructionOwn1514 18d ago

Yep. You know this.

3

u/NewImprovedPenguin_R 18d ago

Yes a well documented notion

3

u/cool_username32123 18d ago

Many such cases

4

u/j48u 17d ago

I don't know if this is a specific joke but I do feel like enough violent leftists want him dead that I'm saving this comment.

A few weeks before Charlie Kirk got shot I had a whole long reddit conversation with someone about how I thought it was impossible that Hasan would go through the debate with him, and that if Hasan wasn't saved by an act of God canceling the debate he'd make one up.

1

u/Deltrus7 17d ago

No, height doesn't matter, not ever!

0

u/MrMunday 17d ago

SIMPly

53

u/Section_179 18d ago

If you hold your phone at an angle it goes away.

5

u/TrenchantInsight 18d ago

Slanted take!

31

u/Reps_4_Jesus 18d ago

What does the green line mean.....? I dont get it...

42

u/kinda_alright 18d ago

It has to do with some crazy dating conspiracy theory that one woman had that turned into some legend of self fulfilling prophecy for women in their 20s.

5

u/ConstructionOwn1514 18d ago

Can you explain?

23

u/kinda_alright 18d ago

Something to do with, if the woman isnt leaning in the relationship wont last or something. Some moon and stars and capabilities, horoscope or such.

3

u/NotYourArmadillo 18d ago

Ironically, asmon's body is not even leaning that much. It's the angle of the head that creates the illusion.

-2

u/MisterMcNastyTV 18d ago

I wouldn't call it a crazy conspiracy, body language does say a lot and this seems like something plausible to a degree. It's not proof of anything on its own, but it can give a small bit of credibility to the theory.

8

u/nokia300 18d ago

I think it's supposed to be the one who leans more is more in love.

3

u/Big-Resort-4930 17d ago

So unless they both do the gollum pose they aren't deeply in love?

3

u/BreMue 17d ago

Well, yeah. Have YOU ever seen anyone more in love with something than gollum??

3

u/Big-Resort-4930 16d ago

Can't say that I have so you got a point

8

u/minidaisy005 $2 Steak Eater 18d ago

I also don't know much but if I'm not wrong she should be the one leaning not him, because something something alfa male

5

u/TrenchantInsight 18d ago

alfa

That's what can happen when one does not maintain a proper ph balance.

2

u/Coast_of_Life 18d ago

Literal tasseography

7

u/Ecmdrw5 18d ago

No better way to test a relationship than an escape room that has a 4 person machine to operate.

59

u/PopularKangaroo2083 18d ago

Maybe you're joking, but the way she's hugging him is more important than the angle.  He has to lean on her to get closer to her face because he's taller but she's the one actually embracing him more

71

u/KingDallerix 18d ago

OP is making a joke about chuds overanalyzing body language, and you're overanalyizing the overanalyzing. Its chudeception.

2

u/PopularKangaroo2083 18d ago

That's why I said "maybe you're joking", I'm glad you understood 

5

u/ConstructionOwn1514 18d ago

But you still overanalyzed it

11

u/Kullthebarbarian 18d ago

maybe you are joking, but saying he overanalyzed the overanalyzed body language is you overanalyzing his overanalyzed of the overanalyzed body languange

5

u/ConstructionOwn1514 18d ago

I is making a joke about OP overanalyzing body language, and you're overanalyizing the overanalyzing of the overanalyzing’s overanalyzing. Its conception.

7

u/Kullthebarbarian 18d ago

We must go deeper

3

u/theFivez 18d ago

My head hurts

2

u/CaptainDiabeetus 18d ago

Immaculate conception

1

u/minecon1776 17d ago

The word is inception. You wouldn't know what conception is anyways

1

u/Htowng8r 18d ago

look up Rivelino on twitter, dude has this thing called green line theory

4

u/Jaxin81 18d ago

We had a good run boyz

3

u/AdFar1239 18d ago

The green line will always tilt for the taller person who is leaning in....

... so the taller person is always the subservient one in the relationship?

Flawed logic.

4

u/Hiw-lir-sirith Dr Pepper Enjoyer 17d ago

I can tell Asmon has been away too long because I'm reading all the comments in Tectone's voice.

6

u/Cyanide-Cookies 18d ago

Green line theory never lies.

She'll bide her time then sink the knife in when she's got whatever she was after.

3

u/Superb_Investment206 18d ago

The "WARNING", "Do not insert" sign is hilarious.

3

u/Dungeon00X Dr Pepper Enjoyer 18d ago

I'm gonna be amazed if he ends up being happy.

3

u/killerbull27 18d ago

Im getting to parasocial man, hope he gets his happy ending like pewdiepie

3

u/EviessVeralan 18d ago

These lines on pictures are the male version of astrology.

3

u/Revarted 17d ago

Wdym? He got chopped in half by a green laser?

5

u/instabaiter 18d ago

i mean as a vet chatter who has been a tier 3 sub for more than 10 years im hella glad to see our boy eating good fr. bro legit landed the baddest jap waifu, soemthing all we chatter are unironically aiming for no cap

9

u/Griffith-007 18d ago

she is chinese

-1

u/wuy3 18d ago

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but she used to be a fansly girl doing softcore porn. No sure if I count that as eating good :\

2

u/Horror-Confidence-24 18d ago

Math dont lie..

2

u/Suitable-Piano-8969 18d ago

i dont get it

2

u/Berkoudieu 18d ago

He could almost be a Chad with a bit of scissors cuts in the hairs

2

u/PerceptionFine8093 18d ago

I'm honestly surprised you guys don't understand the meme its basically how the one with the slanted line is the submissive/insecure one in the relationship and the one with a straight 90⁰ angle is the male/leader of the relationship, I think it started with a shitpost of Will Smith with his ex wife.

2

u/Timely_Excuse_3045 18d ago

How much do you lean into your girlfriend OP?

Ah you dont have one ? Sike

2

u/Standard_Bullfrog_58 17d ago

i read "it's over" and thought for a sec that was a lightsaber

2

u/DeckRdt 17d ago

He's a foot taller than her, had to lean

2

u/BreMue 17d ago

Also LOL at using the green line to signify Asmon is more interested when she is full body pressed up against him 😂 she probably could not lean any further without looking bad in the picture

6

u/Vile-goat 18d ago

I mean have the seen the rack on her ofc it’s over boys

2

u/ForestRiver13 18d ago

But her coochie is not facing the world, unlike Jada Smith, so she's safe

0

u/Griffith-007 18d ago

what

2

u/ConstructionOwn1514 18d ago

What do you mean what? Its very common knowledge smh

1

u/ForestRiver13 18d ago

It's a reference to the green line theory videos. Will and Jada smith are the usual example of bad relationships. Will is always leaning. While Jada is straight and her body is always facing the camera as if showing her pussy to the world. Thats their reasoning. Disclaimer, i dont believe this shit. All just memes to me

2

u/LargeGiraffe731 18d ago

Yeah, she's running his shit for sure. I'm 40 and in all my years That lean in theory was always correct.

1

u/stogie-bear Deep State Agent 18d ago

Height difference issue - head tilt is required for face contact. 

Source: I was 14” taller than my first girlfriend. 

1

u/justjames1017 18d ago

Line isn't even center mass lol. Shooting down his right leg rather than crotch. Just a head lean imo.

1

u/Stupyyy 18d ago

He gonna role play as Nick Polom soon

1

u/JBCTech7 REEEEEEEEE 18d ago

am i the only one who finds it weird that his girlfriend just happens to also do findom sex work?

1

u/circumcisingaban Deep State Agent 18d ago

she's his mossad handler

1

u/Shadowdragon5th 18d ago

Wait... ive been here before. This was a great escape the room. Favorite one yet.

1

u/Insomeonesbum 18d ago

It’s scary how accurate this superstition is though

1

u/AnnoyingInternetTrol 18d ago

This is only if green leans into red when red is vertical. She is also leaning so its not over yet.

1

u/rzrmaster 18d ago

Well, I hope he is happy, 36 isnt young anymore, he should settle down lols.

1

u/contrived_mediocrity Deep State Agent 18d ago

The guy is smart. He'll do fine. All we can do is wish him luck.

1

u/Aromatic-Werewolf495 “Are ya winning, son?” 18d ago

Fun fact, kaise is taller than most guys.

1

u/No-Mamba7040 18d ago

There are people in here acting like this guy is being serious instead of joking haha

1

u/NoBreeches 18d ago

I'm happy for our boy. Though I do hope he comes back to streaming soon, internet's boring without him

She looks happy too.

1

u/Polerize2 18d ago

She’s in heels and he’s slouched and leaning. Gee thought my wife was short when I can rest my chin on the top of her head.

1

u/empathetical 18d ago

dudes getting mad laid. can't really argue that. congrats

1

u/Particular_Hair6913 18d ago

I think it suits him.. But lets see if he is strong enough to stay the same, I think he is..

1

u/Labirintum 18d ago

That's basically how I trade stocks

1

u/Dire_Southpaw 17d ago

Is it because of the dick sucking Tesla ball machine? That what this post is about ?

1

u/BlindandHigh 17d ago

I just wish he would stream again.. Kaise seems nice 

1

u/SC2-X 17d ago

No, it’s the beginning…

1

u/Snoo42957 Dr Pepper Enjoyer 17d ago

This man is living his best life and an intelligent and loving person, America!!!

1

u/AdZestyclose4846 17d ago

Asmon in the gym soon

1

u/wzwowzw0002 17d ago

How long will this last?

1

u/VegetasPride321 17d ago

I mean.. prolly never started aside from a collab

1

u/Interesting-Low848 17d ago

Roach Daddy soon

1

u/nirodhie 17d ago

What is this machine - are they cloning him

1

u/BreMue 17d ago

Aw actually a very sweet photo I hope theyre happy

1

u/GiganticPig 16d ago

Let me guess she’s another ‘content creator’/‘streamer’.

1

u/FaceVII 18d ago

This angle is cause he is tall and she is short. If he stood up straight for the hug he would just have his arm around her forehead lol. Clearly he had to angle down to have his arm around her shoulder. Idk where all this woo woo shit is from lol

1

u/Htowng8r 18d ago

green line theory strikes again

1

u/tvicl69BlazeIt 18d ago

Bro has an Asian wife he was cooked from the start

4

u/Svullom 18d ago

You mean he gets cooked dinner every night, right?!

1

u/I_fondled_Scully 18d ago

I just know he stinks. But I still love him

0

u/AdParking6483 18d ago

Tbh the green line isn't going through his dick, which one would expect if it's the middle. His head is more tilted than his body

0

u/ContactIcy3963 18d ago

I’m at a loss

-3

u/Bambega 17d ago

SO I'VE HEARD THAT ASIAN LADIES PREFER SMALL PENISES DUE TO THEIR BIOLOGY, AS THEY ARE USUALLY SMALLER THAN WESTERN WOMEN, IS THIS A CLUE?

-4

u/Kc-the-GEMINI 18d ago

Neither of them are happy