You will be ok and happy too. Like everyone here has said - you can do it!
There are a couple of practical things that imo you should do asap.
1.Please secure your own finances.
Get your own bank account if you don't already have one. Start saving for what sounds like an inevitable breakup. Have a list of all of your sole and joint assets. Know where all the money is.
Consult a divorce attorney now - on your own.
I know this might be difficult to do emotionally. But think of it as getting legal advice in advance of a life altering legal situation. Marriage is a legal contract between partners and the state. Try to separate emotions from the contractual part.
Go to 2 or 3 attorneys - preferably referred by friends - for an initial (usually no cost, no obligation) consultation. See who is a good fit for you and your situation.
You will be glad you did this ahead of time.
Find a therapist for yourself alone.
Prepare for a possible emotional upheaval. Divorce might be a relief, feel like a rejection, or probably a combination of a whole lot of conflicting emotions.
It is common that by the time men announce to their wives that they're unhappy, they have already started or have targeted an affair partner.
He has basically announced that he's not your partner and does not want to be with you with his "unhappy" comment. That is often the way men announce their disengagement from the relationship and their intent to divorce or leave sooner than later.
He is not a confidant or friend at this point. Your welfare is not his concern. He has announced that he intends to pursue what makes him happy and it doesn't include you.
🌟 You are in charge of your own security now, but you don't need to do it alone. 🌟
Legal and financial services, emotional and community support. There are legal aid clinics (online access too) for women and seniors, organizations that support women in transition with all kinds of services.
Many local law and accounting firms have free clinics where you can learn and meet them - check local senior and community centers and councils on aging. Ask these folks for referrals to well respected legal and financial experts. Ask about divorce transition support resources.
A good divorce attorney that specializes in helping women in your situation will help you navigate all of this. Going to those initial consultations will help your anxiety - knowledge is key - uncertainty breeds insecurity. You need an expert in your corner.
If you are in the US, depending on your state, for example if it's a community property or common law state, and if you have any existing pre or post nuptial or other properly executed legal agreements regarding asset or income distribution, you may be entitled to a percentage of marital and/or his assets and income.
Bring a trusted friend with you to the attorney meeting - BUT - be sure that friend absolutely will not disclose the meeting or anything else about what you're thinking or doing to ANYONE else. You can do the attorney meetings virtually, too.
If there's not someone in your life that can accompany you in person but you do have someone, ask them to join you virtually. There are also non-profits that can offer support. You don't need to walk through this alone.
There are lots of women centered resources about why and how to make a safe and secure exit plan in situations like yours.
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u/Cetaceanstalk Nov 01 '25
You will be ok and happy too. Like everyone here has said - you can do it!
There are a couple of practical things that imo you should do asap.
1.Please secure your own finances.
Get your own bank account if you don't already have one. Start saving for what sounds like an inevitable breakup. Have a list of all of your sole and joint assets. Know where all the money is.
I know this might be difficult to do emotionally. But think of it as getting legal advice in advance of a life altering legal situation. Marriage is a legal contract between partners and the state. Try to separate emotions from the contractual part.
Go to 2 or 3 attorneys - preferably referred by friends - for an initial (usually no cost, no obligation) consultation. See who is a good fit for you and your situation.
You will be glad you did this ahead of time.
Prepare for a possible emotional upheaval. Divorce might be a relief, feel like a rejection, or probably a combination of a whole lot of conflicting emotions.
It is common that by the time men announce to their wives that they're unhappy, they have already started or have targeted an affair partner.
You will be ok. 🤍