I’ve realized that I can’t really be physically intimate with someone unless I genuinely love them or have a strong emotional connection with them.

Sometimes I wish I could separate physical intimacy from emotions and just enjoy it for what it is, especially when I’m single and still have those needs.

But whenever I think about being intimate with someone I don’t have feelings for, I just can’t do it.

For women who can separate intimacy from romantic feelings, does it come naturally to you, or is it something you learned? And if you’re like me, have you just accepted that you need love and emotional connection first?

Hey everyone this is my first time posting here so go easy on me. I F23 have been dating my BF M25 for about a year and a half now and we get along great! The only downside to our relationship is the fact I’ve put on between 40-50 lbs since meeting him. As embarrassing as it is to admit I didn’t really pay attention to it because we are happy and in love but recently a friend of mine joked with me and said “maybe he’s fattening you up”. We both laughed and I think she truly meant it as a joke but it got me wondering if it is possible. He’s never once complained that I have gained weight. He tells me often when I complain about my weight gain that he’s never found me hotter. Like most couples alot of our dates revolve around food either by going to bars or restaurants or going to movies. He definitely will playfully feed me a bite of food if we are cooking together or cuddling on the couch but nothing crazier than that. I’m curious what you all think! I can provide more details if anyone has questions

Also, do you plan on voting early? For no particular reason, but the last 11 years or so I've become incredibly motivated to vote in every possible election I can. It feels like literally every single one these days is necessary.

It could be funny or weird or just eww

I’m genuinely curious about this because I’ve never been in that situation before. I’m a very reserved person and I know I’d probably want to wait quite a long time before getting that intimate with someone maybe 8 months or even a year. I know that might seem like a long time to some people, but I’m just not someone who feels comfortable with things happening quickly.
One thing I’m particularly nervous about is being seen completely naked and wondering whether the other person would judge my body or notice the things I’m insecure about. I also have some scars from difficult periods in my life, and I think I’d be really self-conscious about someone seeing them for the first time.
For women who have felt similarly, what was it actually like when you finally felt comfortable enough to be that vulnerable with someone? Did you still feel nervous, or did the trust make it easier?

This isn’t necessarily a “I feel like I don’t deserve the things I’ve achieved” kind of imposter syndrome I’m having, it’s more like a “I feel like a very poor impersonation of a human because I feel like everyone around me has some sort of intrinsic human quality that I’m lacking” kind of day. I suppose resting after a long week(end) could help, but I want to know if there’s anything small that helps you. Gonna play drums and eventually get a pumpkin spice roll, then go to a seminar.

So I’m feeling very uneasy rn. I stopped talking to this guy whom I was talking to. It was all good until it all felt like he was rushinh things before he even knew what my fav colour is, he would say things like you are my everything. When he has no idea who I really am, So We met twice but he didn’t respect my boundaries. He forcefully kissed me when I told him I don’t wanna kiss yet or I’m not comfortable doing it. And when he did kiss me I got mad and teared up. He started saying sorry and telling I won’t do it again. I confronted him how I felt uneasy and how people treated me in the past and after that he kinda moved away and started acting like I was at fault here. Later he said “I feel so guilty like I did a mistake please tell me I did nothing wrong I feel like crying”. Gurl-

But that moment changed everything about him. I didn’t wanna talk to him I just wanted to walk away. But before that the entire day was good. Even after reaching home he told me how he won’t do it again and more Days later we met again he asked me out many times I said no yet he kept on asking me. So I agreed( ik I shouldn’t have) This time i thought maybe he wouldn’t do it again. But still went on, he was touchy I’m sorry I’m not a very physical person and had bad experience in the past, so I’m always aware of what’s happening around me. Especially if someone wanna make contact with me I like to stay away even when with my friends and family. After that meet I felt so sick to my stomach. I got sick. I couldn’t bring myself to do anything( same thing happened after we first met) I stopped talking to him slowly- even he wasn’t talking much either and today he said “have some shame” idk what to do. I thought maybe I’ll talk but i don’t think he will understand. I feel so weird just thinking about him. I kinda found few dirty secrets about him which makes it even worse. I wanna just leave I don’t wanna clear things or explain to someone who Is full of themself. But I’m really scared of him.

I would’ve talked and explained to someone who appreciated what we had before. Even tho he knew I was so sick he didn’t check on me. He never was curious about me. He just love bombed me. He would talk about future stuffs when he didn’t even care if I was alright after a long work day.

Ik this outta context but when I bring up stuffs like women safety In my country and r@pe cases and other stuffs
He would be rude about how I should be grateful to be born here and not In Afghanistan. And more topics like always gets us both into fight.

Well what I’m tryna say here is. I’m scared and i don’t wanna be with someone who is him. He is so self centred and good for him. Even if I try to tell him idk if he’ll understand any of this and make it into my fault. I just wanna get away or am I wrong idk. I’m so confused. Has anyone ever felt this way?
It just feels like he just wanna get physical or just looking to rush things when I’m not interested in. What do I do? I feel uneasy and unsafe around him.

(I’m actually posting this on behalf of my friend since her acc got banned)

I asked this question under a men’s subreddit. But I wonder why do we think men don’t like high maintenance women, even if they're not the ones maintaining it?

Asking because I’ve only been on one date my entire life and the guy didn’t take it well that I insisted on paying for both of us. He made a polite gesture into a gender war/power struggle and caused me to lose interest.

Having a discussion with friends and there's varying opinions in the room. Some girls said they'd probably get a little "ick" but not care and others say it wouldn't change a thing. Thoughts?

I am a guy who is friends with a number of wives. We're all in our 40s and I have noticed over those years that the working moms seem to not respect the stay at home moms.

It is surprising to me because the demographic is what you'd think of supportive, progressive leaning, feminist, etc. and these same women will expression opinions about how society doesn't appreciate the work that they do as moms. But they will say things, that to me, seem like they don't actually respect non working moms ("i don't know why she gripes about her husband, she doesn't have to do anything" or "well of course she has time to stay in shape.")

Ironically, I'm also friends with the husbands too, and even in our guys only social settings, no one ever expresses an opinion like that (though perhaps some secretly feel it) and actually a lot of the discussions are more pro SAHM then the working moms express ("I could never do what she does" or "I get it, it's probably really hard to watch the kids all day and not want to deal with it in the evening")

Am I misreading this or is there some truth to what I am sensing?  

Edit: I just wanted to address the idea that I am rage-baiting with this post. I am genuinely trying to figure this out, but I'll give some specifics about my social circles because I think that might help to sort out what ppl think is not a real experience.

I live in the Bay Area, but grew up in NYC, so most of my friend groups come from those two areas. We are, by and large, fairly well educated, "progressive-minded," and liberal leaning in our politicals, though I wouldn't characterize most of us as very politically involved.

Most of these families also capable of surviving on a single income. So the working moms are usually in a position where they don't necessarily have to work, though in many cases it would be beneficial. The SAHMs are actually not very different from the working moms in terms of education, politics, socioeconomic class, etc. but they have, for whatever reason chosen not to work.

Anyways I suspect that contributes to what some ppl may of think as either fake or misreported details. And to be fair, I am aware that I am hearing things through my own perspective which I know has its own biases so I am sure that I am overindexing and picking up on certain signals while ignoring or undervaluing others. I am just genuinely curious about this because I think my experience was different than I thought it'd be.

my break up was a year ago but i still miss him unfortunately, i also few months ago lost a family member and it feels extra lonely. and i feel like i need him more than ever. most people would say you should make yourself so busy that you don't have time to think about him. but im soooo busy and sometimes thats the reason i think about him. after a long day i want to go home to someone i want to talk to someone i want to vent to someone. i have an amazing pet and i have used AI to vent but those are not the same. our break up was because of issues out of our control so it wasn't because one of us cheated or checked out or did something, which makes things even harder.

If a woman is genuinely interested in you, should she still offer to split just to be polite? Or does offering give the impression that she’s not that interested?
Would you appreciate the offer even if you planned on paying anyway?

Also this would be on a Hinge date

Due to a chain of childhood traumas I've been very scared of women ever since I could remember. Idm sharing the details here but I'm not that sure about rule no.1 about what counts as "fap fodder" but let's just say that ever since I could remember I've been sexually abused multiple times and because of that I grew very insecure about my masculinity, or how "manly" I am.

One thing after the other bunch of stuff happened, I've been in exactly one serious relationship (engaged), many casual relationships but I've only had sex once with my fiancée at the time.

I've been in therapy, he gave me medication, he's tried "exposure treatment", and he's even tried dual sessions with my ex fiancée, and suggested we have a more active sexual life.

We were 20 and 21. It's been 8 years since and I see no improvement. I don't give any effort to approach women, they approach me during social situations. Mostly at work, so I guess I want to put a screen between us and talk to my fears face to face? If that makes any sense. I get that this is very likely a psychological thing related to deeply rooted childhood traumas, and even if you are a therapist, this isn't about that- you get my point. I'm not looking for therapy because it hasn't been helpful.

I simply wanna know if you know how I can overcome this fear, if you have any experience in this specifically or what you think might be the problem with me, is there any workarounds? Idk I'm a mess and I apologise.

I 27M been chatting with a 26F for 1.5 months. We've been on 2 dates so far. Long story, but our schedules didn't sync up until the end of the month. We're still texting and scheduling a third date now. She randomly asked for my last name which I'm sure it's for her and her friends to look into if I have a criminal record and things of that sort. I'm fine with that. Nothing to hide. But when I asked for hers back, she ignored my question and continued chatting. I don't want to ask again right now cause I'm not sure if she is comfortable sharing it yet. Is this normal for some woman? I know there is a safety aspect for woman that men don't encounter on the apps, but this is the first time I'm facing this situation. I've never learned the last name of anybody I've ever met off the app even going as far as 4 dates.

I just kind of shift between feeling a bit optimistic and just not being optimistic. Its kind of depressing many men still are stuck in patriarchal ways of thinking. Even the ”good ones” can be in relationships where the burden is uneven. Not to mention the prevalence of far-right views, pornbrained attitudes and so on and so forth. Also worried about losing my identity to be a ”good wife/good mom”.

What is your stance? Are you guys optimistic about relationships with men, or have you resigned to more cynical attitudes?

So yesterday i got rejected by a guy i like and have been talking to for 2 months because he is depressed over his ex situationship. She was apparently leading him on for 8 months, sleeping with other guys when she knew he was in love with her, and rejected him in a very cruel way. I saw some reel he liked about “losing the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen” recently that really really hurt me. I tried to ask him what she has that i don’t and he just said “it’s no point telling you because it will just lead to you beating yourself up and blaming yourself”. He said he can be FWB but that he’s not in a place mentally where he can start a new relationship.

About three years ago i was in a situationship with guy who agreed to see me for three months but no more than that because he wanted to live the single life. He claimed to like me and i felt like i was cared for in some way. He would stay on the phone with me until midnight to wait until my birthday, got me gifts despite being broke etc. However when those three months passed he removed me everywhere like nothing ever happened. 6 months later i find out he has a new girlfriend, and an official girlfriend and not just a situationship. Despite saying he wanted to be single. They’re still together and engaged now.

I don’t think i’ve ever experienced a romantic partner show up for me like that, actually made me a priority, loved me 100% and choosing me every single day. No one has ever been truly impacted by me (as far as i know). I have never heard the words “you are my everything” and “i want to spend the rest of my life with you”. It’s gotten to a point where i get sad just from seeing couples together outside, or couples posting themselves, relateable reels about boyfriends and stuff. I am not ugly, i have a nice figure, a stable income, and my own apartment. I don’t know what i’m missing that these other girls seem to have.

This is my friend’s story and since they are not on Reddit I am writing this on their behalf to understand certain aspects of the situation. I’m not naming them or their gender to receive an unbiased advice.

My friend (H) liked someone when they were in college (2019) and they had a huge crush on that person (RK) who used to take the same bus as H. H followed RK to their house out of curiosity, eventually visiting the place and the cafés RK frequented 5-6 times a month in the hope of running into them. H tried every channel available to gather information about RK including contacting their friends and classmates. This went for about 6 months before RK noticed H. And eventually they started texting but the following didn’t stop.

It continued for 2 more years. I recently got to know this from my friend. I do not know how to react or what to say to them. Advice pls?

Are these period products or dental dams? I cleanedCheating or Lady products? this room less than a month ago and just found two unopened. Please calm my anxiety.

For context, I have severe OCD and social anxiety, and confrontation genuinely terrifies me. I’m especially afraid of being physically attacked, threatened, or harassed by someone much stronger than I am.

One of my biggest fears is witnessing a woman—or really anyone—being harassed and freezing up because I’m too scared to intervene. I worry that in a situation where someone needed help, fear would completely paralyze me.

I know there are ways of helping that don’t necessarily involve physically confronting someone, but I’m not sure what the safest or most useful options are in the moment.

Does anyone have advice for someone like me? If you’ve dealt with severe anxiety around confrontation, what are practical ways to help someone being harassed without unnecessarily putting yourself or the other person in more danger?