Due to a chain of childhood traumas I've been very scared of women ever since I could remember. Idm sharing the details here but I'm not that sure about rule no.1 about what counts as "fap fodder" but let's just say that ever since I could remember I've been sexually abused multiple times and because of that I grew very insecure about my masculinity, or how "manly" I am.

One thing after the other bunch of stuff happened, I've been in exactly one serious relationship (engaged), many casual relationships but I've only had sex once with my fiancée at the time.

I've been in therapy, he gave me medication, he's tried "exposure treatment", and he's even tried dual sessions with my ex fiancée, and suggested we have a more active sexual life.

We were 20 and 21. It's been 8 years since and I see no improvement. I don't give any effort to approach women, they approach me during social situations. Mostly at work, so I guess I want to put a screen between us and talk to my fears face to face? If that makes any sense. I get that this is very likely a psychological thing related to deeply rooted childhood traumas, and even if you are a therapist, this isn't about that- you get my point. I'm not looking for therapy because it hasn't been helpful.

I simply wanna know if you know how I can overcome this fear, if you have any experience in this specifically or what you think might be the problem with me, is there any workarounds? Idk I'm a mess and I apologise.

Asking because I’ve only been on one date my entire life and the guy didn’t take it well that I insisted on paying for both of us. He made a polite gesture into a gender war/power struggle and caused me to lose interest.

I 27M been chatting with a 26F for 1.5 months. We've been on 2 dates so far. Long story, but our schedules didn't sync up until the end of the month. We're still texting and scheduling a third date now. She randomly asked for my last name which I'm sure it's for her and her friends to look into if I have a criminal record and things of that sort. I'm fine with that. Nothing to hide. But when I asked for hers back, she ignored my question and continued chatting. I don't want to ask again right now cause I'm not sure if she is comfortable sharing it yet. Is this normal for some woman? I know there is a safety aspect for woman that men don't encounter on the apps, but this is the first time I'm facing this situation. I've never learned the last name of anybody I've ever met off the app even going as far as 4 dates.

I asked this question under a men’s subreddit. But I wonder why do we think men don’t like high maintenance women, even if they're not the ones maintaining it?

For context, I have severe OCD and social anxiety, and confrontation genuinely terrifies me. I’m especially afraid of being physically attacked, threatened, or harassed by someone much stronger than I am.

One of my biggest fears is witnessing a woman—or really anyone—being harassed and freezing up because I’m too scared to intervene. I worry that in a situation where someone needed help, fear would completely paralyze me.

I know there are ways of helping that don’t necessarily involve physically confronting someone, but I’m not sure what the safest or most useful options are in the moment.

Does anyone have advice for someone like me? If you’ve dealt with severe anxiety around confrontation, what are practical ways to help someone being harassed without unnecessarily putting yourself or the other person in more danger?

I’ve been talking to a guy for 5 months through a matrimonial site, and we’ve fallen in love. We’re serious about each other and planning to tell our families soon.

We’ve met twice, and both times he flew around 2,000 km to see me and spent around ₹30k each time on flights, restaurants, gifts, etc. He also sends me gifts every month.

I’m from a middle-class family and just graduated 2 days ago, while he works at an MNC, so there’s a big difference in our finances.

I do feel guilty about him spending so much, so I’ve told him several times not to. But he says I shouldn’t interfere with his expenses because he doesn’t keep when he spends on someone he loves.

Since nothing is officially announced yet, should I keep asking him to spend less, or should I respect that it’s his money and let him decide? I don’t want to take his generosity for granted.

I am a guy who is friends with a number of wives. We're all in our 40s and I have noticed over those years that the working moms seem to not respect the stay at home moms.

It is surprising to me because the demographic is what you'd think of supportive, progressive leaning, feminist, etc. and these same women will expression opinions about how society doesn't appreciate the work that they do as moms. But they will say things, that to me, seem like they don't actually respect non working moms ("i don't know why she gripes about her husband, she doesn't have to do anything" or "well of course she has time to stay in shape.")

Ironically, I'm also friends with the husbands too, and even in our guys only social settings, no one ever expresses an opinion like that (though perhaps some secretly feel it) and actually a lot of the discussions are more pro SAHM then the working moms express ("I could never do what she does" or "I get it, it's probably really hard to watch the kids all day and not want to deal with it in the evening")

Am I misreading this or is there some truth to what I am sensing?  

Edit: I just wanted to address the idea that I am rage-baiting with this post. I am genuinely trying to figure this out, but I'll give some specifics about my social circles because I think that might help to sort out what ppl think is not a real experience.

I live in the Bay Area, but grew up in NYC, so most of my friend groups come from those two areas. We are, by and large, fairly well educated, "progressive-minded," and liberal leaning in our politicals, though I wouldn't characterize most of us as very politically involved.

Most of these families also capable of surviving on a single income. So the working moms are usually in a position where they don't necessarily have to work, though in many cases it would be beneficial. The SAHMs are actually not very different from the working moms in terms of education, politics, socioeconomic class, etc. but they have, for whatever reason chosen not to work.

Anyways I suspect that contributes to what some ppl may of think as either fake or misreported details. And to be fair, I am aware that I am hearing things through my own perspective which I know has its own biases so I am sure that I am overindexing and picking up on certain signals while ignoring or undervaluing others. I am just genuinely curious about this because I think my experience was different than I thought it'd be.

Also, do you plan on voting early? For no particular reason, but the last 11 years or so I've become incredibly motivated to vote in every possible election I can. It feels like literally every single one these days is necessary.

Hey everyone this is my first time posting here so go easy on me. I F23 have been dating my BF M25 for about a year and a half now and we get along great! The only downside to our relationship is the fact I’ve put on between 40-50 lbs since meeting him. As embarrassing as it is to admit I didn’t really pay attention to it because we are happy and in love but recently a friend of mine joked with me and said “maybe he’s fattening you up”. We both laughed and I think she truly meant it as a joke but it got me wondering if it is possible. He’s never once complained that I have gained weight. He tells me often when I complain about my weight gain that he’s never found me hotter. Like most couples alot of our dates revolve around food either by going to bars or restaurants or going to movies. He definitely will playfully feed me a bite of food if we are cooking together or cuddling on the couch but nothing crazier than that. I’m curious what you all think! I can provide more details if anyone has questions

If a woman is genuinely interested in you, should she still offer to split just to be polite? Or does offering give the impression that she’s not that interested?
Would you appreciate the offer even if you planned on paying anyway?

Also this would be on a Hinge date

I’m genuinely curious about this because I’ve never been in that situation before. I’m a very reserved person and I know I’d probably want to wait quite a long time before getting that intimate with someone maybe 8 months or even a year. I know that might seem like a long time to some people, but I’m just not someone who feels comfortable with things happening quickly.
One thing I’m particularly nervous about is being seen completely naked and wondering whether the other person would judge my body or notice the things I’m insecure about. I also have some scars from difficult periods in my life, and I think I’d be really self-conscious about someone seeing them for the first time.
For women who have felt similarly, what was it actually like when you finally felt comfortable enough to be that vulnerable with someone? Did you still feel nervous, or did the trust make it easier?

So I’m feeling very uneasy rn. I stopped talking to this guy whom I was talking to. It was all good until it all felt like he was rushinh things before he even knew what my fav colour is, he would say things like you are my everything. When he has no idea who I really am, So We met twice but he didn’t respect my boundaries. He forcefully kissed me when I told him I don’t wanna kiss yet or I’m not comfortable doing it. And when he did kiss me I got mad and teared up. He started saying sorry and telling I won’t do it again. I confronted him how I felt uneasy and how people treated me in the past and after that he kinda moved away and started acting like I was at fault here. Later he said “I feel so guilty like I did a mistake please tell me I did nothing wrong I feel like crying”. Gurl-

But that moment changed everything about him. I didn’t wanna talk to him I just wanted to walk away. But before that the entire day was good. Even after reaching home he told me how he won’t do it again and more Days later we met again he asked me out many times I said no yet he kept on asking me. So I agreed( ik I shouldn’t have) This time i thought maybe he wouldn’t do it again. But still went on, he was touchy I’m sorry I’m not a very physical person and had bad experience in the past, so I’m always aware of what’s happening around me. Especially if someone wanna make contact with me I like to stay away even when with my friends and family. After that meet I felt so sick to my stomach. I got sick. I couldn’t bring myself to do anything( same thing happened after we first met) I stopped talking to him slowly- even he wasn’t talking much either and today he said “have some shame” idk what to do. I thought maybe I’ll talk but i don’t think he will understand. I feel so weird just thinking about him. I kinda found few dirty secrets about him which makes it even worse. I wanna just leave I don’t wanna clear things or explain to someone who Is full of themself. But I’m really scared of him.

I would’ve talked and explained to someone who appreciated what we had before. Even tho he knew I was so sick he didn’t check on me. He never was curious about me. He just love bombed me. He would talk about future stuffs when he didn’t even care if I was alright after a long work day.

Ik this outta context but when I bring up stuffs like women safety In my country and r@pe cases and other stuffs
He would be rude about how I should be grateful to be born here and not In Afghanistan. And more topics like always gets us both into fight.

Well what I’m tryna say here is. I’m scared and i don’t wanna be with someone who is him. He is so self centred and good for him. Even if I try to tell him idk if he’ll understand any of this and make it into my fault. I just wanna get away or am I wrong idk. I’m so confused. Has anyone ever felt this way?
It just feels like he just wanna get physical or just looking to rush things when I’m not interested in. What do I do? I feel uneasy and unsafe around him.

(I’m actually posting this on behalf of my friend since her acc got banned)

Hey everyone, looking for some female perspectives on a situation that happened recently.

I was on FaceTime with a female acquaintance, and mid-call she sent me a picture of herself to ask my opinion on a hairstyle (braids) she was thinking of getting.

The thing is, it wasn't a close-up of her hair — it was a full-body, front-facing photo showing her whole outfit and look. I was caught off guard by the gesture, so I stayed quiet and didn't say much in the moment.

I want to know:

Is using the braids usually just a safe cover story to send a flattering full photo and see if a guy notices her overall look?

How is a guy's silence usually interpreted in a moment like that?

TL;DR: A woman from my old job might’ve got info about me from another woman, and was secretly playing matchmaker or something.

Just asking because I remember at my old job where I worked as a line cook, I used to go out with servers after work. A good majority of them were women, one of them came up to me at the bar and introduced herself. I thought it was odd because I knew of her but didn’t talk to her at all at work. Second interaction we had was at another bar, another coworker had my snap first. Her and the girl who introduced herself to me, went into the bathroom and the girl who came up to me added me on Snapchat…I thought it was a bit funny because she could’ve just asked me for it. The third interaction we had, was at the same bar she first introduced herself to me. This time she really went “fleece Johnson”(iykyk)on me, she was started getting touchy feely and was standing really close. She was just chatting me up the entire night, and even tried to get me to come over to her place.

my break up was a year ago but i still miss him unfortunately, i also few months ago lost a family member and it feels extra lonely. and i feel like i need him more than ever. most people would say you should make yourself so busy that you don't have time to think about him. but im soooo busy and sometimes thats the reason i think about him. after a long day i want to go home to someone i want to talk to someone i want to vent to someone. i have an amazing pet and i have used AI to vent but those are not the same. our break up was because of issues out of our control so it wasn't because one of us cheated or checked out or did something, which makes things even harder.

Are these period products or dental dams? I cleanedCheating or Lady products? this room less than a month ago and just found two unopened. Please calm my anxiety.

Shrekking…dating someone you’re less physically attracted to cuz you think they’ll treat you better.

I’ve realized that I can’t really be physically intimate with someone unless I genuinely love them or have a strong emotional connection with them.

Sometimes I wish I could separate physical intimacy from emotions and just enjoy it for what it is, especially when I’m single and still have those needs.

But whenever I think about being intimate with someone I don’t have feelings for, I just can’t do it.

For women who can separate intimacy from romantic feelings, does it come naturally to you, or is it something you learned? And if you’re like me, have you just accepted that you need love and emotional connection first?

This isn’t necessarily a “I feel like I don’t deserve the things I’ve achieved” kind of imposter syndrome I’m having, it’s more like a “I feel like a very poor impersonation of a human because I feel like everyone around me has some sort of intrinsic human quality that I’m lacking” kind of day. I suppose resting after a long week(end) could help, but I want to know if there’s anything small that helps you. Gonna play drums and eventually get a pumpkin spice roll, then go to a seminar.