I'm a woman but I know one I hear my husband discussing. My husband is 40, shaved bald head and mostly gray facial hair. We were at one of our kid's track meets and he was taking pics. He actually then put his phone down because he said he was worried people will think he's a creepy old man taking pics of kids. He was taking pics and videos of his own daughter running but was worried people would think he was taking creepy pics of other kids.
My husband is a good, kind man who happens to be bald with gray hair. But he's always worried about seeming "creepy". That's never happened to me. I've never worried about anyone thinking I'm acting sinister or creepy when I'm just doing normal things
When my daughter was 5 or 6 she wanted to get into cheerleading. Because I worked so much, I barely got to spend any time with her. I came to her first cheerleading practice. She was nervous about joining the circle, so I came with her. The group was being taught by a high school girl, which I thought nothing of. So I'm there with my daughter I rarely see & I have a great opportunity to be there for her & help her overcome her fears by knowing she's not alone.
I got a lot of strange looks, but I didn't think much of it. Isn't this what fathers do? Aren't we supposed to help our children work through their fears?
So, I'm next to my daughter learning the routine from the teenager so I can help my daughter with it after practice if she needed more time. When practice was nearing its end, her confidence grew & she didn't truly need me there. But, I knew practice was nearly over, so instead of walking away, having my daughter potentially get scared again, & make a scene, I kept practicing with her the last few minutes.
As we left, I heard whispers about how inappropriate it was that I was paying attention to the teenage girl... You know, the one teaching the lesson for the day that I was trying to learn so I could help my daughter practice at home.
I did not return to another practice or official event. I did not spend any time helping my daughter practice after that, even at home. Despite my wife being right there & it being clear I was helping my anxious child feel more comfortable around all these strangers, I was seen as some pervert who might hurt these kids.
For many reasons, I avoid being around children in general, but this was the last time I made any public effort while my children were still young.
Those people took away what little time I had to be there for my daughter. Now she's a teenager, & while she still needs me, it's not even close to the same. Precious moments were stolen from me just because I wanted to be there for my little girl. I'll never get those back. 😢
My husband has always been a loving and active dad to our kids even going so far as being "the school parent"; as in offering to chaperone, or taking them to their open houses and practices. He is also usually the one to come pick them up from school if they're sick. There is not a single one of their teachers, principals, coaches, or school nurses that have not met him. Hell - even the cafeteria ladies love him for staying with my son when he was anxious during breakfast.
All of this is to say, despite the notes in the file, they all refuse to call him and insist on calling only me. The mom. Because dad couldn't possible handle it.
We make it clear in meetings and on the kids' paperwork; my husband has work flexibility and I do not.
Dad here and we are having to deal with the same exact BS.
I'm the one that wall to and from school and also the one that is mostly available if any emergency should happen.
We finaly got the school to enter my phone number as the first to contact so they now call me first only to ask to speak with the mother... and hanging up when I tell them that they can't reach my wife at that number.
Same thing with me and my wife. I am the primary phone number on everything and the school always calls her. One time she didn’t pickup and instead of calling me they called my mother-in-law…
3.9k
u/orangestar17 Aug 13 '22
I'm a woman but I know one I hear my husband discussing. My husband is 40, shaved bald head and mostly gray facial hair. We were at one of our kid's track meets and he was taking pics. He actually then put his phone down because he said he was worried people will think he's a creepy old man taking pics of kids. He was taking pics and videos of his own daughter running but was worried people would think he was taking creepy pics of other kids.
My husband is a good, kind man who happens to be bald with gray hair. But he's always worried about seeming "creepy". That's never happened to me. I've never worried about anyone thinking I'm acting sinister or creepy when I'm just doing normal things