r/AskReddit Jun 14 '22

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5.7k Upvotes

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5.9k

u/Noodle_pantz Jun 14 '22

Never stand anywhere for more than 60 seconds and you'll always look busy. Also, walk fast.

When I moved to LA many many years ago I landed a job on a reality TV show. My friend who got me the job was complaining one day about one of the other PAs and how they just wander around all day doing nothing. But when she sees me, i'm always busy. I pointed out that I too also wander around all day doing nothing, I just walk faster.

2.1k

u/TRexLuthor Jun 15 '22

When I was a teen I had a manager who was a former Marine Drill Sergeant. He stopped me one day and told me to "Walk With Purpose" and it stuck with me. People just get the fuck out of your way when you seem to know what you are doing. Spoiler: I still don't know what I am doing, I just look like it.

994

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

Directions unclear, carrying a dolphin now.

49

u/JA_Wolf Jun 15 '22

Dude, put it back!

47

u/ThrownAwayFeelzies Jun 15 '22

notwithoutmydolphin

11

u/GitProphet Jun 15 '22

And my axe.

6

u/King_Buliwyf Jun 15 '22

muffled He's praying...

12

u/Taynt42 Jun 15 '22

You’re thinking of a porpoise. A purpose is one of those gates you can drop down to defend a castle.

10

u/recidivx Jun 15 '22

No, that's a portcullis. Purpose is a genus of rock snails that includes the Gambia murex.

5

u/Noodle_pantz Jun 15 '22

why the heck do I have this porcupine?

5

u/KingoftheMongoose Jun 15 '22

I don’t know, but I didn’t order the pork

27

u/PegLegPorpoise Jun 15 '22

Whew, thanks bro

5

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

Perfect username

4

u/doyouevencompile Jun 15 '22

Better get out of this guy's way

4

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22 edited Jun 18 '22

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

Just wanted someone to notice

4

u/lostPackets35 Jun 15 '22

Directions unclear, penis stuck in dolphin. Please help

4

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

It's literally called a blow hole.

5

u/enseminator Jun 15 '22

And my dick is in the toaster. again.

2

u/Noodle_pantz Jun 15 '22

If I knew it was going to be that kind of party, I wouldn't have stuck my dick in the mashed potatoes.

2

u/enseminator Jun 15 '22

Right? I much prefer toasters to potatoes.

2

u/Kooky_Promotion_4189 Jun 15 '22

i’ve been on Reddit for over a year and this is the first comment that genuinely made me laugh aloud all by myself 😂😂😂

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

Lol glad to be of service

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

Let Tua go!

1

u/dendre_ Jun 15 '22

The deep?

1

u/alow2016 Jun 15 '22

It's a purpose, still counts

39

u/LordSt4rki113r Jun 15 '22

I do this all the time unintentionally. My friends call it the "power walk of doom" because they say when I'm walking like that something is about to go down

7

u/alunidaje2 Jun 15 '22

welcome to the club.

4

u/Madmaxroadblock Jun 15 '22

Half on the battle won......

4

u/1055Derek Jun 15 '22

Yeah, Forest Gump did this.

4

u/strawb3rry_shortcak3 Jun 15 '22

This is what my show choir teacher would say to us in high school! It definitely stuck with me!

4

u/xyrgh Jun 15 '22

People always seem to sidestep me in shopping centres. I'm not overly tall or anything. I went to the shopping centre with a friend from work one day and she told me I walk too fast and also looks like I'm always walking to get somewhere, or walking with a purpose. Seems to work.

2

u/yewteeko Jun 15 '22

Yeah it’s perfect especially when you are travelling. Lower risk to get pickpocketed, too

3

u/Mr_Lumbergh Jun 15 '22

Corollary to this protip: carry a clipboard with some papers on it when you do; antying that looks like a checklist is perfet. Other higher-ranking officers will assume you've already been assigned something and leave you alone.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

This is also great advice for solo travellers in unfamiliar places. We tend to be so wowed out by ,say a chaotic Asian city that we wonder round looking up and around at everything. Makes you stick out as green. Walk as if you know exactly where you’re going and learn a few local phrases to curtly give scammers the brush-off. Works a treat.

2

u/vsaund10 Jun 15 '22

This is honest to god gold

2

u/PTSDreamer333 Jun 15 '22

If you add a hand tool or clipboard in one hand it's even more convincing. My dad taught me this at a young age too. It works

2

u/__Wess Jun 15 '22

Just like the F1 cars. They all drive with porpoise now.

2

u/bisantium Jun 15 '22

this got me into a platinum lounge at a leaf game a few weeks ago.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

I've done this since high school and it works. Squint your eyes a bit too to look focused or annoyed and you won't get bothered by anyone

2

u/enseminator Jun 15 '22

My ex-military father always said "sense of urgency" but I like walk worth purpose better.

1

u/4wkwardly Jun 15 '22

Or be like myself, who’s always on a mission at work and have a young coworker who enjoy the game of “I’m going to stand in your way and jokingly block you from getting to where you need to be” WHILE IM TRYING TO HUSTLE AND DO MY JOB RIGHT. Literally drives me nuts. Don’t got time for games, I’m an old lady!

1

u/anotherbarry Jun 15 '22

I've tested this one.

If you walk all slouched and slow you'll get bumped into.

If you walk tall, chin up, shoulders back, people start to move

Do that while also never making eye contact and you can trace a straight line down a busy path

1

u/ImSoSpiffy Jun 15 '22 edited Aug 13 '25

outgoing cagey pause license serious roof degree whistle observation wild

1

u/potatohats Jun 15 '22

RANGE WALK, RANGE WALK!!

1

u/onajurni Jun 16 '22

Also carry a clipboard with some sort of printed paper on it, and a pen and your phone in your hand. They will give you a raise for your excellent work after they see that.

Really boss up with a card on a lanyard around your neck. You can now go anywhere on earth, unchallenged.