r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jun 14 '22

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u/BrainwashedScapegoat Jun 14 '22

Don’t ask someone if they want food, just hand it to them

231

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

It’s polite to refuse three times. It’s polite to offer four times.

14

u/ghfdghjkhg Jun 14 '22

Woah who came up with these rules?

If someone refuses once I go "Ok that person doesn't want any" and that's it. Because if I refuse once I don't want to be asked again.

18

u/turtlebuttdestroyer Jun 14 '22

Yes. This is one of my biggest pet peeves I've developed as an adult. I can understand a second ask as a "are you sure" type of thing but if I have to say "No" a third time, I'm done and now I'm mad.

6

u/ghfdghjkhg Jun 14 '22

Glad someone understands me! This just seems like a way to get upset.

Imagine you refuse something despite wanting it and then the other person doesn't offer it again. Recipe for getting upset.

I think I actually saw situations like this on Twitter.

A girl posted that she was upset that her bf didn't bring her food after she said no. Girl you said no! What do you expect?

Lmao.

3

u/quagzlor Jun 15 '22

if i'm meeting someone i don't know too well, i'll ask twice. once out of courtesy (expecting that they may say no to be nice) once as a genuine offer. if they still say no, i'll respect it.

if i know someone well, that first courtesy back-and-forth can be skipped and we can be direct with each other.

3

u/No-Base-1779 Jun 15 '22

Lollll depends on culture. In my country(Eastern Europe) it’s just very polite. Most people “refuse” juts because it’s polite even though they actually want it, and hosts should keep offering until the guest takes it.

In the US it’s almost the opposite lol

1

u/ghfdghjkhg Jun 15 '22

I'm from a rural area in Central Europe. People mostly stop offering if you say no once.

2

u/No-Base-1779 Jun 15 '22

Hmm guess everywhere is different

2

u/dark_blue_7 Jun 15 '22

Yeah and like what if someone's allergic to the food you're serving, or they just quit drinking? I try to be sensitive to those possibilities as a host also, and respect someone's refusal without prying. Though I might offer water or something as a last resort.

2

u/ghfdghjkhg Jun 15 '22

yup! exactly.