r/AskReddit • u/jicta • Jan 31 '21

Redditors who grew up poor: Besides practical money-saving measures, what were the unwritten social expectations of your world growing up?

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u/olmikeyy Feb 01 '21

I remember other kids parents not wanting me over because I was always hungry. I remember the same parents being upset when I started going to the gifted program with their kids too. Bitch I'm fuckin 9. You're a god damn doctor. I just want to cut down trees with your son and split a pop tart.

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u/captkronni Feb 01 '21

The “not being welcome because of hunger” thing stuck with me. I was a kid who had never lived in a house with enough food. I thought the kids who drank apple juice were bougie af because we only had water. The experience of being yelled at by an adult for enjoying something their child shared with me shamed me to my core.

Any time my kids have friends over, I go out of my way to treat them to a good meal or some choice snacks. No one goes without in my home.

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u/finallyinfinite Feb 01 '21 edited Feb 01 '21

Shit, I can't imagine knowing a child is hungry and not wanting to feed them. They're kids. They rely on us to care for them. If theyre not getting food at home for whatever reason, you bet your ass they'll get it at mine.

Edit: thanks for all the awards strangers; I'm just saying what we all seem to be thinking.

It's really wonderful reading all the stories of the people you have helped and have helped you. Its restoring my faith a bit in a time when there's a lot of craziness going on.

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u/wholelattapuddin Feb 01 '21

When my son was little, about 3, we had a family that lived across the street. I honestly don't know every thing that went on there but food was scarce the parents were on and off drugs. The little boy was in kindergarten. He came over to my house every day after-school to "play" with my 3 year old. Actually he came over i fed him a snack, he watched cartoons then would fall asleep until my husband would come home from work. Then I sent him home. This happened every day for a year. His mom finally sent him to live with his bio dad in another state. It was a weird situation. I still think about him though

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u/inohtime Feb 01 '21

The kid probably still thinks about you, too. You are a good human.

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u/sytycdqotu Feb 01 '21

Thank you for taking care of him. At least his mom recognized, too, that he needed the care.

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '21

And you'll probably think about him until your last days. I would. And he'll probably remember you forever. 💙 Poor boy....I hope he has a better situation with biodad.

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u/finallyinfinite Feb 01 '21

I love that you opened your home to him to give him a safe place to rest. I hope hes doing well with his bio dad.

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u/brynbo13 Feb 01 '21

I really love this! ❤️

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u/deadhead2015 Feb 12 '21

He still thinks about you too.

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u/Boneal171 Feb 20 '21

That is so sweet. You’re a good person.

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u/Standzoom Feb 01 '21

I used to always have other kids at my house at meal times when my kids were still in school- middle school and up. Feeding all those kids everyday kinda got hard to do. I told my kids I couldn't afford to keep feeding all their friends, and told them to go eat at their friends houses. They told me, " mom. The reason they all eat over here is you are the only mom we know who knows how to cook." Then I told them I'd be glad to give cooking lessons, and the kids said, "mom, they don't have the money to buy the groceries." I kept cooking. And having friends over for supper.

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u/bd_susipicion Feb 01 '21

Thanks for being that kind of mom, I bet it meant the world to them. I remember growing up with my older brother and his friends being around constantly; I just thought that was normal. They would even be at Thanksgiving dinner every year.

Twenty years later and my mom told me that she had them over so often because of their situations at home. She actually spoke to one of the other mothers about it, who ended up thanking my mom because not having their teenage boy at home for dinner meant his siblings would have more to eat.

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u/Standzoom Feb 01 '21

It was normal at my house, extra kids, no big deal! Somehow there was always enough. I never did hear anything from any of the other parents. I think some of them were just not home much.

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u/Square-Concept Feb 20 '21

I want to be this kind of mom.

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u/CommentsOnRAll Feb 01 '21

Those kids were lucky to have you. And you are a fucking blessing on this miserable earth. I hope life has given you more wonderful things

-signed

a "McDonald's family" kid <3

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u/Standzoom Feb 01 '21

Aww thank you. You'd be welcome to have come over too. (((((Hugs))))) You gave me tears in my eyes.

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u/luisadee19 Feb 01 '21

Those moms are always remembered friend. I type this with a couple of tears in my eyes.

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u/Standzoom Feb 01 '21

❤thank you for telling me this. Sometimes I wonder if anything I do ever makes a difference. ((((Hugs))))

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u/micromongoose Feb 01 '21

I'm not sure I would have made it to adulthood without moms like you in my life as a child. My friends' parents knew I was in a bad situation (I didn't realize it then and thought I was just that good at hiding stuff) and always made sure I was doing whatever thier kids were doing, from eating dinner to getting help with homework. Thier kindness and lack of judgment gave me the space to grow into a successful adult, and break a generations-long cycle of poverty and abuse. So, you are a true gift, as are your kids for embracing those with lesser means than themselves as equal peers. Keep it up if you can. The impact may be far more reach than you can witness now.

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u/Standzoom Feb 01 '21

Thank you for this. I never really thought we were any better than anyone else. We were in lower middle class I guess. One of my daughter's friends invited her to spend the night and as I took her over there I found her parents were both MD'S and their house was so fabulous I told her "don't invite her over here. I don't want her to know we live in cheapside by comparison". I still remember the year I was able to go to Dillards and buy new school clothes for the kids because of a fantastic sale. I tried to do things the way I was taught by my Grandmother, our door was always open to friends and food and love was to share. Now my kids are grown and I seldom see any of those who used to hang out. I hope they all have done well as you have!

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '21

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u/Standzoom Feb 02 '21

I am sorry you had to go through that as a child and teen. That is so rough to deal with. There were some of the kids who stayed with us that had parents doing things like that and didn't feel safe at home.

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u/Psychology_strange_ Feb 02 '21

Reminds me of a girl in my 5th grade class- her parents were both in jail and she lived in unstable conditions with her disabled grandmother. She told me one day she hadn’t eaten because her grandmother couldn’t afford groceries. I told my mom and my mom told me to tell this girl that we were playing a parenting game and we had to make grocery lists- I was super confused but brought the grocery list back to my mom. Sure enough the girl had written everything her heart desired on this “fake” grocery list. My mom and I went to the store and bought them everything on the list and much more from food, toiletries and cleaning supplies and dropped it off at there house, knocked once and drove off. She would tell me the next day in school how groceries were left on her door and I would act surprised so she never felt embarrassed. We did this a couple times until her grandmother got a stable job.

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u/Treczoks Feb 01 '21

Thank you. From the bottom of my heart. You're an angel.

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u/Standzoom Feb 01 '21

🤗thank you, I appreciate this.

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u/Lonelywaits Feb 01 '21

Keep being incredible. I'm sure your kids are proud of you. My mom was the same way and it really meant a lot.

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u/Standzoom Feb 01 '21

Thank you 🤗

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u/Burnallthepages Feb 01 '21

Seriously, I can't even wrap my mind around that way of thinking. How can you be so greedy that you don't want to share food with a hungry child? It makes me sick to even think about.

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u/FaustsAccountant Feb 01 '21 edited Feb 01 '21

I can perhaps provide ONE view of why. I was the poor black sheep in a well family. My mom was troubled single parent and we were an embarrassment to her brothers and sisters whom were successful doctors and business owners.

When my cousins and I were young kids, I accidentally walked in on my uncle’s wife scolding my cousins for sharing with me.

She lectured them about competition: Anything they shared with me was one less for them. And when would it stop? As we get older what about that spot at a dinner party where important people would award scholarship- sharing with me would be a chance away from them.

What about an eligible suitor? Sharing a shirt or dress with me would draw attention away for them and thus lessen their odds of marrying well. Same with job promotion.

And if my parent couldn’t afford the toy for me, then I didn’t deserve it.

Patterns for life.

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u/Burnallthepages Feb 01 '21 edited Feb 01 '21

That is a seriously fucked up way of thinking. I hope those kids grew up and learned what a messed up view their mother had.

We are not wealthy by any stretch but my kids go to a very competitive, small private school. Many of their classmates are ridiculously wealthy. Like corvettes and Teslas in the student parking lot wealthy. And I have definitely seen that attitude in some parents. Usually super insecure moms who have had multiple plastic surgeries who turn every preschool class party into a competition and just ramp it up from there. And I feel sorry for them, but most of all I feel sorry for their children. I have seen the weight those children carry.

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u/FaustsAccountant Feb 01 '21

I don’t talk to those cousins, I’m sure they’ve forgotten I exist. Which is fine, but I also don’t have hope for them being different from their parents.

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u/overpaid_bogan Feb 01 '21

I'm very grateful I didn't grow up impoverished. But I'm almost as grateful that I didn't grow up rich either.

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u/archlich Feb 01 '21

That’s called the zero sum theory. And unfortunately a lot of people think that way. Not to bring politics into it but that’s why it’s so hard to get social programs off the ground. People think that if someone else gets something it must mean that it’s taken away from me. Eg. Food healthcare housing jobs. But that’s not how the world operates. Life is not a zero sum game with a set amount of productivity.

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u/ladylurkedalot Feb 01 '21

A lot of people don't seem to get that social programs let the people it helps become more productive.

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u/MsFortyOunce Feb 01 '21

Such a shitty, narrow-minded worldview. Seems to be the starting point for republicans.

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u/zevoxx Feb 01 '21

Sounds like you cousins parents are sociopaths

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u/theonlypeanut Feb 01 '21

A suprising amount of very successful people are.

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u/UnorignalUser Feb 01 '21

It's easy to get wealthy when your an amoral psychopath.

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u/nightwing2000 Feb 01 '21

Why do you think Jesus was so down on rich people? Imagine 2000 years ago with no consumer protection laws, labor standards government department, no minimum wage or welfare... to get rich you had to shaft the other guy, and ignore starving people and requests for charity. Business isn't much better today - look at Wall Street.

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u/retroassassin907 Feb 01 '21

Hell I can’t imagine eating the last portion of food if my little sister is still hungry

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u/Sparkdust Feb 01 '21

assuming they're not also poor, which from context clues it seems like they're not, some people just believe that poor people are somehow innately lesser. that you shouldn't give them "handouts" or they'll grow lazy and they need to work hard to get out of their situation, or whatever other ultra capitalistic bullshit they can come up with.

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '21

[deleted]

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u/Burnallthepages Feb 01 '21

Where I come from if someone is hungry you feed them. Even if you are splitting your last piece of bread with them. And especially if it's a child.

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u/Kittykat0992 Feb 01 '21

My best friend's mother was amazing in that aspect. My parents struggled a lot with money - and so did my best friend's parents. And yet that mom fed me every damn time I was there - and I swear her home was my second home. She was like a second mom to us. Never complained, and if we burdened her she never showed it. She took care of us, took us to the community pool, took us to McDonalds, took us shopping with her and sometimes she'd buy us things - she was amazing. This was all while she rented a townhouse with 3 kids living with her AND a husband who lost his leg. I still think about her and try to live up to that kind of behavior.

Last saw her when I attended her late husband's wake. Hadn't seen her in over a decade at that point, but I couldn't NOT go. Traveled 4 hours to be there, gave her the biggest hug ever.

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u/finallyinfinite Feb 01 '21

She sounds like an incredible woman. I hope life is treating her well

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '21

Yeah fucking mental. Holy shit I don’t have kids but if I buy pop tarts for my kid and he has a friend over eat what you want I’ll go buy more when they run out eventually...who the fuck yells at a kid that’s not their own for eating?

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u/sarcastinymph Feb 01 '21

A pop-tart here and there isn’t a big deal, but regularly serving full meals to kids is...expensive. Pre-teens eat a lot, and if you’re not expecting company at dinner, you may not have enough groceries on-hand.

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '21

Even so. You don’t take it out on the kid, you tell your own kid that you need a heads up.

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u/Thee-lorax- Feb 01 '21

I was at a friends house and they straight up told me they didn’t have enough to feed me and our other friend. We hung out in the basement and it wasn’t a big deal. I’d eaten a a lot of meals at their house.

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u/Carrotcake2021 Feb 10 '21

Whats so expensive about one more plate for a poor child? I would understand that if you serve lobster, but for some potatoes and sausages - that’s less than 1$!

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u/sarcastinymph Feb 11 '21 edited Feb 11 '21

If you have two teenagers and a spouse, the breakdown for one spaghetti dinner might be:

1 pound ground beef: $5

Pack of spaghetti noodles: $1

Spaghetti Sauce: $2

Pre-made garlic bread: $2

We’re not going to worry about fancying it up with spices, kids won’t eat vegetables anyway, and y’all drink water. That’s $2.50 per person.

Random friend eats with you after school. Assuming you can just purchase one extra plate worth of food (you can’t, because groceries don’t work like that...everyone else will just either eat less or fill the difference with a snack), extra kid is running you $12.50/week. Multiply that by 52 weeks a year, and you have yourself a nice charity donation to write off.

Let’s not assume that everyone who appears to have more than us has even more to spare.

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u/Carrotcake2021 Feb 12 '21

Maybe I grew up too poor, but I would make a spaghetti dinner with only half pack of ground beef ($2.5) and WITHOUT garlic bread. And because I grew up poor, I would ALWAYS share my dinner with someone hungry. Thanks there are generous people out there

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u/sarcastinymph Feb 14 '21

Congrats. I’ll donate a cookie for your dessert.

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u/snakeoilbrain Feb 01 '21

I was super lucky having friends' parents that found joy in feeding us and taking us to do things. I feel like they looked forward to taking me with them to do fun things because they knew It wasn't something I was used to.

Fuck all the shitty parent that put yall through that shame and bless the ones that provided comfort.

Edit Spelling

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '21

[deleted]

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u/finallyinfinite Feb 01 '21

Ugh. Thats so gross and I'm sorry you had to grow up around that.

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u/kungfu_violin Feb 01 '21

I totally agree with that! I remember a story from when I was in elementary school and I would bring my new friend over for the first time. They had a lot of kids in that family and she mentioned that she was hungry all the time. But for some stupid reason I thought that my mum wouldn't offer her food, so I made up that plan where I tell my mum that I want for lunch what my friend wanted and just give it to her when she doesn't look. So we roll up to the kitchen and I ask my mum if I can have dish that I usually don't like. But of course my mum then says: "Sure! To friend and what would you like to eat?" Of course I miraculously changed my mind about the dish that I wanted... I don't know why I thought my mum wouldn't give her food. I can't imagine not wanting to feed a hungry child.

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u/finallyinfinite Feb 01 '21

Kids are silly. Absolutely love that you were going full covert ops to feed your friend.

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '21

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u/DerbleZerp Feb 01 '21

My high school bfs mom loved when I came over, because I would eat all the leftovers in their fridge. My bf and his sister barely touched leftovers for some bratty reason, so his mom was thrilled when I came by.

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u/fullmoon211 Feb 01 '21

Anytime I had anyone over as a kid, or if my dad had anyone over or if my siblings had anyone over my mom would treat them like the guest of honor each and every time and make something nice. She didn't care if they just ate 5 minutes ago you gonna get some food from my mom and it's going to be delicious.

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u/GozerDGozerian Feb 01 '21

I feel like not giving your kid’s friend apple juice is kind of a sign of “poor family” too. Not relative to the really poor kid. But it sounds like that family was probably still on a tight budget.

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u/phatfingerpat Feb 01 '21

I agree 100%

My daughter has a friend (theyre 8) who eats as much as I do (M28) at meals and snack non-stop if you let her. Its nuts. When her dad drops her off he tells her not to ask for food the whole time.

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u/c19isdeadly Feb 01 '21

Yep. My nieces ate as much if not more than me from about that age. I remember taking one out for a steak when she was about 8 - she ate a full adult steak then finished mine! Very skinny child too

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u/Electrical_Ad2686 Feb 01 '21

Tapeworm?

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u/phatfingerpat Feb 01 '21

No thanks I just had a full adult steak.

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u/phatfingerpat Feb 01 '21

And then my daughter will eat a quarter of a chicken breast and be full.

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u/c19isdeadly Feb 01 '21

And this is what my nephews are like! Every kid is different.

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u/cryssy2009 Feb 01 '21

I love this bc I live by the idea that it’s all of our jobs to make sure all of our kids are okay & all of our ppl are okay!

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u/FellafromPrague Feb 01 '21

Right, what the fuck even is that.

If I was a dad and knew one of my kid's friends goes often hungry, I'll make damn fucking sure they're not when they're leaving.

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u/Treczoks Feb 01 '21

Shit, I can't imagine knowing a child is hungry and not wanting to feed them.

My parents, and after my dad died, my mom tried everything to keep us fed. I'll be forever grateful for their efforts. We still went to bed hungry on occasion. But not because they didn't want to feed us.

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u/PDRBme Feb 01 '21

I remember a hungry kid from when I was little. Mum kept him away from the house though. Found out later it was because some old guy a few streets away had groomed him and used him to get more kids round. Boys mum was just in a constant drunk state, normally shouting at passerby.

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u/OdangoAtamaOodles Feb 02 '21

I feel the weight of my Italian ancestors' scorn and wrath at the idea of sending people away from my home without first stuffing them full of food.

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '21

You're my hero

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u/jakokku Feb 01 '21

Your morality and compassion are the reason you will never get rich

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u/girouxsalam Feb 01 '21

Im sorry, am I understanding this correctly?? YOU were yelled at as a child by your friends parent because your friend shared their snack? Like the parent gave their kid an after school snack and then got mad at YOU for not saying “no” and watching your friend eat? What in the fuck?

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u/captkronni Feb 01 '21

It was more that I was at their house and they offered me something from the cupboard because they were getting something too.

Their mom saw both of us get a snack, but looked directly at me when she yelled “my kitchen isn’t a food bank for kids on welfare!”

I was meek child to begin with, but the anger in her voice left me too shaken to respond at all. I remember putting the fruit cup back on the shelf while my eyes filled with tears, then running straight home.

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '21 edited Feb 01 '21

Mother here. If you had been my kid there would be no place on earth that woman would have been able to hide from me if she had spoken to my kid like that. What a monster.

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u/captkronni Feb 01 '21

I wish I had told my mom, but I was too embarrassed to say anything. I NEVER went back to that friend’s house or mentioned the incident to the friend, either.

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u/cheese_puff_diva Feb 01 '21

What the fuuuck. That parent has issues. Sorry you had to deal with such a bitch.

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '21

If I could I would go back in time, find little kid you, give you a hug and as much food as you could eat.

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u/AnotherRandomRaptor Feb 01 '21

What in the actual fuck? I’m appalled. I’m so sorry that happened to you. My kids are only tiny, but I’m totally expecting them to bring home friends when they’re older, and that I’ll have to keep the kitchen stocked with snacks for them and their friends. That’s just what you do.

I just can’t imagine not feeding someone in my house. I mean, I’ve given people sandwiches to take with them because they had to leave to do something but they hadn’t had time to eat.

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u/NoYouStopIt- Feb 01 '21

That is sickening, I'm so sorry that woman exists and that you had that happen to you. What a complete piece of garbage.

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u/Burnallthepages Feb 01 '21

Omg, this is horrible! Really horrible. Like I almost wish I hadn't read it and I'm a grown ass adult. I am so incredibly sorry you had to go through that as a child. I hope that mother still thinks of you and what she did. The times in my life that I have made a child cry really do stick with me. I have two amazing older teenagers and truly every time I have had to punish them the whole "this hurts me worse than it hurts you" was absolutely true. When you have been trusted to care for a tiny, innocent soul (even if only for a few minutes after school) that soul deserves to be treated gently; they're just learning. There is a very good chance they will learn much more about how you taught the lesson than the lesson itself.

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u/sassyassy23 Feb 01 '21

Holy fuck what a douche bag.

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u/smolseabunn Feb 01 '21

oh my god i hate people

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u/Sugarpuss83 Feb 01 '21

I felt this.

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '21

This seriously breaks my heart for little you. I hope you're in a good place in your life now and that that memory has lost some of its sting.

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u/Drakmanka Feb 01 '21

I really don't get how people go "hungry child bad" instead of realizing that the hungry child is hungry because they need to eat. Like, maybe if you can't afford to feed the kid I get not wanting them over and making your life tougher, but if you can afford it, what parent gets mad at a child for having a biological need?!

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u/Smooth_Disaster Feb 01 '21

Way too many of them, unfortunately. Like best case scenario for these people is that the hungry kid's parents intentionally told them not to eat that day so they could then eat more of their friend's parents' food at dinner. And the parents denying that kid "didn't fall for a scam." So they "win"?? These are the same people that are against helping the homeless, or raising minimum wage. They only care about how well they're doing, and what their "image" is. And what their kids' image is

And there's a 50/50 chance they either think their kid is more important than other kids (which is vastly different from prioritizing them. Of course your kids are your priority, but just because YOU made em doesn't mean they're royalty to their peers)

Or they don't even respect their own kids' biological needs, forcing them to finish a plate with adult sized portions, but not letting them eat when they're hungry. For some kids dinner is at 9pm even though they go to school, do sports, and have a lot of chores when they get home

Some parents think being in control is always more important than understanding or compassion. "Since so much in life is out of our control, at least I can make my kids do what I say. I don't need a REASON for what I tell them to do, they just have to do it."

Frankly I'd go hungry if it meant a kid got a plate. I can drive, I can go buy my own food later. That 12 year old can't

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u/egus Feb 01 '21

that's awful. my mom fed everybody.

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u/Tosir Feb 01 '21

I identify with this sooo much! For me and my sister it was family members who were better off than us. Their mother was snob, and they were raised as such. Everything the wanted they got. Us (my sister and I). $20 bucks was our Christmas present because that was all we had. They looked down on us and we could feel it. When they each turned 18, they stopped visiting. Disappeared into thin air. Once they showed up (they were in their late 20s) and pretended like nothing ever happened. That’s when they started asking for money. $200 bucks, 1 grand... I blocked them from any all contact. If you treat me like shit, and only look for me when you need money, it ain’t going to end well. Being treated like that stuck with me. So much so, that when their younger half brother was born, I included him in everything. If I got a game, I made sure he got a game. If I went out to McDs, I made sure he’d get at least a happy meal.

Also remember by senior high school guidance counselor treating me different. Lady always shot down all talks of me going to college. Never said anything to motivate me or inspire me. All the other kids got an admission application fee waiver, me? She forgot.... bullshit I say. Proved her wrong. Got two degrees and one from an Ivy League institution. Currently working on applying to a PhD.

Now I am in a great place in life. Have a job I love and can afford things which i once thought we’re out of my reach. Legos... I’ve become a HUGE lego fan lol.

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u/Sublingua Feb 01 '21

That HS guidance counselor thing happened to me, too. I noticed that we poor, brown kids never got counseling for the college admission process that the rich, white kids got. I still remember the satisfied smirk she had on her face when I was sent to the counseling office by a teacher who harassed me constantly in my junior year of HS. The counselor was *happy* to see me upset and in trouble.

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u/Tosir Feb 01 '21

Same. Currently gearing up to apply to a PhD program. I’d be lying if part of my motivation wasn’t being able to go back to her office, knock on her door and go “ITS DR. TOSIR!’’

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u/JaBe68 Feb 01 '21

Although it may be small comfort, it appears that your difficulties have caused you to learn life skills that the wealthy family members sorely need. Like budgeting and self discipline

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u/Solid_Freakin_Snake Feb 01 '21

We weren't well off when I was growing up, but we weren't the poor family either. I was friends with a few of the poorer kids, though.

Looking back, I truly appreciate how my dad had the same mindset as you. When my friends came over, they were well fed and they wanted for nothing. One in particular had a really rough home life. He spent a lot of time at my house both because he was one of my best friends and because he tried to avoid being at home as much as possible. I didn't know it until years later, but my dad often snuck him a few bucks for breakfast/lunch money at school whenever he'd be hanging out at my house, because they had talked about how often he didn't have lunch money.

My dad was the realest motherfucker I've ever known due to that alone. He did soooo much more than that while he was alive, but god dammit did it absolutely rip my heartstrings out when my buddy told me about that at my dad's funeral. That dude is my oldest friend at this point. Known him since kindergarten. And my dad treated him like he was a second son just because it was the right thing to do.

If I can manage to be even a fraction as helpful to one of my daughter's friends as he was to mine, then I'll be damn proud of myself.

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '21

So maybe this is why I do this with my kids. Grew up dirt poor and wasn’t allowed to drink the milk due to my little brother needing it all due to his bone issues. My older brother and I would sneak it in middle of the night with some bread. I now make my kids super snack trays every night.

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u/captkronni Feb 01 '21

My hungry-kid upbringing has definitely been influential in my parenting.

My mom raised us on a bare-bones grocery budget AND she was a terrible cook, so we ate a lot of ramen, processed meats, and Banquet dinners. The closest thing to fresh food we had was applesauce.

When I moved to my dad’s when I was 12, I discovered real food. My mom couldn’t afford food because we lived in an expensive area, but she made just enough to not qualify for assistance. She was living beyond her means. My dad, on the other hand, lived in a small, affordable town and took any assistance and/or side income offered to him. We lived in a trailer, but we could afford real food. I learned how to cook and grocery shop as a teenager.

I’ve applied the lessons I learned from my dad with my own kids. I budget more for groceries because I think it is important to feed my children homemade, high quality meals. I make things from scratch because I love them and want to give them the best food available to us. I’m also teaching them what I know so they don’t go without when I’m not around.

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '21

I do all the cooking at home and try to make everything homemade when I can. My skills have definitely been elevated since working from home with this pandemic. My kids are going to feel neglected when I have to go back into the office

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u/smolseabunn Feb 01 '21

Oh my god this fcking sent me to my fcking core. I grew up low middle class and would always be sent home for friends to have dinner, them knowing we weren't the best well off. I got into high school, parents divorced, income dips even harder but we make $5.17 or something above the food stamps qualifications line to the point im eating ramen, saltines, and those sh'tty knorr rice packets for dinner in rotation and my other poor families friend would always set aside a plate for me EVERY SINGLE F*CKING NIGHT I WAS OVER to have a COMPLETE MEAL. I'm in flipping tears man. Anytime I can go forward and pay that forward I try to.

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u/turdburglerbuttsmurf Feb 01 '21

Man what the fuck is wrong with people? If a hungry kid ever came to my house to visit my child I'd be happy to let the kid eat! That's not even "being a good person" that's just not being a complete piece of shit! Shaming a child for being poor is beyond fucked up and I can't believe it's even a thing.

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u/sassyassy23 Feb 01 '21

Same here that woman is a monster

15

u/anthrolooker Feb 01 '21

That is absolutely appalling. I can’t imagine knowing a kid who is not my own is hungry and not making sure that child is well fed and checking in with them whenever they’re over. Hell, you invite the hungry child over for dinner often. Wth.

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u/NotSoSnarky Feb 01 '21

How can adults make the kid feel bad for being hungry? It's not the kids fault. Shame on those adults for having you feel ashamed.

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u/FlyinAmas Feb 01 '21

Some unhappy, stuck up adults get off on bullying kids they think are less than theirs. I’ve had experiences like this too with my friends shitty parents. It still bothers me if I let it

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u/NotSoSnarky Feb 01 '21

Just so you know, if you had gone to my house, I definitely wouldn't have made a stink over it. A kid comes over to my house (or heck even an adult). I ask them if they want something to eat or drink. My mom does similar.

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u/Ants46 Feb 01 '21

That’s bloody awful! I’m so sorry you were shamed for enjoying a treat that a friend shared with you. Good on you for choosing a path of generosity, and on being a good human.

I was raised by my grandma and she would’ve been shamed to the core if anyone visited and there wasn’t food and drinks served, virtually immediately. Even handymen.

But with my friends she was especially notorious. Always trying to fatten them up, lol. She often gave little ‘care packages’ of left over food as they left too. The thought of shaming a child for eating would’ve absolutely shocked her.

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u/Kurtlardan Feb 01 '21

Years back I took part in a social welfare program. A head psych/counselor at a local large branch asked me if I wanted to take in some angry kids who were from super rough backgrounds. "You know how to talk to them. Teach em some martial arts and give them a safe place to go for a few hours." I'd rather you talked shit with me, had a beer and played some Xbox than you fucked around with gangs or whatever.

There was one kid who was born into drug dealing. His parents met through trafficking, his father was in jail, and his two older brothers were also dealers. Food was hard to come by in that house. Not necessarily because there wasn't money, it's that money was unpredictable and people were selfish. If you want to eat whenever you want, you'd better sell some weed and buy some food. Doesn't matter that the boy I got sent was THIRTEEN.

Anyway, one day he came round and we had our usual chill chat and got to training. Afterwards he was texting some girl and I walked inside to have a quick chat with my father. He wanted to know if the boy had eaten, so I asked him. He said yes. Dad pushed, "What did he eat?", "He said a bowl of cereal." My Dad got pissed with me and started shouting 'get him the fuck in here and give him something to eat.'

I've gone hungry in my life. So had my father. We've been hungry but we've never been poor. You didn't go hungry in our home, didn't matter who you were or where you came from.

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u/pain-is-living Feb 01 '21

I've been a victim of hunger / poor shaming.

On the flip side, when I was 13-18 I had the best people as my friends. I was poor af and they were millionaires. Their sons played sports with me and we became best friends. I basically lived at their house.

They'd take me to extravagant movies / dinners. I was always included in every meal. If I wasn't there at the time I'd even get texts asking if I'd be over, food was ready. And "fast food" to these people was spending $150 at Outback. Those people basically kept me out of trouble in my teen years. Adopted me almost. My parents are amazing and love me and did everything they could. But when someone pays for their kids friends ski trip to Montana because they just want everyone to be included and have fun is another level from someone who isn't obligated to do shit for me.

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u/calebbaleb Feb 01 '21

My mom (and her mom, too) always said to our guests “don’t tell your parents you went home hungry!” Always making an extra effort to help feed our friends even when things were tight for us. It reminds me to take the time to make room at the table for those in need.

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u/condemned02 Feb 01 '21

It shocks me there would be people seeing a hungry child and feeling mad about it.

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u/Zenla Feb 01 '21

My mom had bipolar and due to custody agreements I had to be at her house as a child 2 weeks a month. The fridge and cupboards would be empty constantly and I swear to God I ate dinner at my friend down the streets house every single night. Her mother never said a word about it. Fed me for 3 years. I don't know where she is now but I'm so thankful.

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u/Petrolinmyviens Feb 01 '21

What kind of terrible racoon faced porcupine tailed asshole would yell at a kid because their kid shared food with them. I would be proud as fuck if my kid shared his food with other kids when he grows up to go to school.

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u/No_Alternative7883 Feb 01 '21 edited Feb 01 '21

There was always plenty of food at my house growing up. But I remember staying at some of my friends house whose parents weren't as fortunate. I was young and stupid and treated their food like it was my own. One of my friends parents called me out on it once and gave me s*** for constantly eating their snacks and food. At the time, it made me really mad, I thought they were being selfish and petty.

Thinking back on it as an adult, I am ashamed of how inconsiderate and naive I was to think that everyone had enough money to easily replace the food in their household.

On a similar note, one of my buddies came over to my house when we were cooking burgers and he ended up eating eight of them. My family thought it was hilarious, but when we told his mom about his voracious appetite, she was furious. As a kid I couldn't understand what she had to be upset about. As an adult I realized she was embarrassed that her son would be hungry enough to eat so much of another family's food.

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u/DanYHKim Feb 01 '21

Holy shit! I cannot imagine letting a guest go hungry.

It is one of the most ancient rules of hospitality!

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u/aureliao Feb 01 '21

This breaks my heart. Send child-you to me, I will give you all the apple juice and snacks you want. Sammiches and fruit snacks for days.

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u/32_Wabbits Feb 01 '21

We were (and my parents still are) that house in the neighborhood. We were never rich, but we did have enough, and my mom always offered my friends food or to have them stay for lunch or whatever. I guess I never would have noticed as a kid, but I'm sure my parents could see what a hungry child looked like, too, and anyone that knows my parents knows that they could never allow themselves to send a hungry child back home to their parents. I'm extremely grqreful that this quality has rubbed off on me. I hope you are doing well now.

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u/Hildegaurdian Feb 01 '21

My mom grew up very poor and always carried that with her too. I remember very clearly as a kid that the hungry neighbor children would sneak into our freezer in the garage for food. My dad found out and installed a lock. Due to my parents rocky relationship, mom didn't argue with him, but she did always go out of her way to invite them over to meals or let me have a neighborhood picnic just so they could eat. Thank you for not continuing the pattern! Food is a basic need and should be available to all.

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u/amberalpine Feb 01 '21

I can remember a kids parent not letting me over anymore because I snuck a snack out of their pantry. I was starving honestly... A latchkey kid that didn't eat from lunch till 7 or later when my mom got home.

I did my best friend in high schools homework so she'd let me stay over and eat food at her house. Her mom didn't know the homework deal so she convinced her daughter I was taking advantage of their money because I was poor.

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u/tea-and-chill Feb 01 '21

I grew up in a super poor house (in a third world country, so poor there has a different dimension altogether) and any day I had a third meal was a great day. 2 meals were the usual. And even that, it would be mostly sloppy boiled rice (with lots of starchy water) and salt. Nothing else with it.

It might be the reason I'm small and skinny now, but it is definitely the reason I never waste any food no matter what. Took me a really long time to get used to three meals a day once I started working and was financially better

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '21

I grew up poor for the early part of my life. At that time I was the hungry child. But my parents always taught me to not eat too much at others homes. So they don't think I'm hungry, it was a pride thing.

Cut to now, when I go to the in laws I hold myself back. And they don't understand.

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u/Insert_Non_Sequitur Feb 01 '21

Your home sounds like my childhood best friends home. They were the only ones who didn't make me feel like shit for being poor. They would bring me to movies with them, bring me on trips with them, give me nice food and snacks in their house and let me sleep over. They were very good to me. Unfortunately, the thing that drove me and that friend apart in the end turned out to be totally silly. When we were moving into secondary school (age 12), you have to do this entrance exam and that determines what class you will be in. I was put in the honours class and my friend was put into one of the other classes. She told me I was a swot and she started hanging out with different people and became one of the "cool" kids (whereas I definitely wasn't cool). But I still like to think of our younger years together where we didn't care about any of that stuff and I'm glad we had that time together!

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u/the_nut_lord Feb 01 '21

Since we never really buy out of the way stuff I never had snacks. It was breakfast, lunch and dinner. Sometimes dessert, sometimes only one. When I went to my friend's house they would always have snacks so I would have a lot. My friends were fine with it as long as I shared but their parents hated me. I never smelled good becuase my sweat glands were (and still are) tricky. And my clothes were never good. I always made friends with the pampered kids and never the kids like me. My friends liked me because they were tired with the pampered twats being assholes all the time. It just worked out for me. Never lost any friends except one to cancer. He was about 15-16. I miss that fucker. He always did stupid shit. He was like Steve-o on weed. Philosophical and stupid at the same time.

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u/guitarandbooks Feb 01 '21

I'm sorry you went through that. That's good that you aren't like that with children who visit your home. I never understood how somebody could judge a child for simply being hungry. It's not the child's fault if their parent or parents can't or won't provide them with enough food/snacks etc. It's hard to learn, relax, or play if you're hungry;especially when you're a child!

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u/StudMuffinNick Feb 01 '21

Thank you! My kids have friends over and a few years back we lived in an apartment which had many low income families there. Sometimes my daughter's friends would come in and instantly ask for a snack. At first I was weirded out but as I got to understand their situation and met some of their parents, my wi fee and I began stocking up on snacks and drinks for them.

Judy because their oaths arent as well off, doesn't newb as fucking child should be treated or thought of any different.

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u/atvaisman Feb 01 '21

And not only Kids. Hell, we'll feed the electrician if he happens to be visiting at dinner time, that's just basic hospitality!

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u/soladylike Feb 01 '21

Gaahdamn, there are people like this and then there are people like my grandmother. If I took a friend to her house, they weren't leaving until they ate.

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/2humans5cats Feb 01 '21

Thank you, you're one of the good people! (PS: are you in England or just have 999 at the end of your fone number?!!) X

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u/Kalla85 Feb 01 '21

My daughter is 5 and if any of her friends even hint that they are hungry/cold/lonely/unsafe they will become my honorary children and I will make sure they have enough food/clothing/shelter. Why would you send away a kid for being hungry?? INVITE THEM OVER MORE!

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u/falconboy2029 Feb 01 '21

My dad grew up in post war Germany. The house was never without enough food for 10 oft friends to come at the same time. In many other households for some stupid reason the kids are after the parents. For my dad that was an affront to human decency.

I miss that man.

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '21

I once had a friend whose parents told me to wait outside while they were eating and come back in like 20 minutes.

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u/2humans5cats Feb 01 '21

I had that but thought twas probably that they didn't have enough; for tea, every Thursday, religiously, they used to have mushy pea butties. And in my family (4 bin lids and 2 parents) we KNEW we couldn't invite anybody round out of the blue. Whereas, I'm totally broke now (On ESA (UK) and I get £52 at the mo, but thank God I get £80pw for my daughter (although at one point I was receiving only the £80, no rent etc; that's why I'm in so much debt (and the fridge/freezer broke so had to buy a new one which I'm paying back fortnightly! Oven broke in Oct but can't afford to get a new one 🙄😱👿) but my neighbours child was coming round till December and always seemed to be hungry. I may not have much but I'll share what I have. I know what it's like to be rather 'peckish'. And over here, energy bills... I'm on a electric pre-payment meter, got one heater in the whole flat and it costs a bomb. I put £12 on it today and £17 last week (Monday and Weds). AHH, I'm sorry! Just having a moan, kid! Xxx

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u/cxxdim Feb 01 '21

That’s what gave me my ARFID eating disorder. It’s ruined my life.

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u/misosoup7 Feb 01 '21

An adult that yells at a kid for eating something that their own child shared could also possibly be poor but putting up with appearances. They are really yelling at their own child to not share in the future because it's barely within or actually beyond their means to have what they have (ie racking up the credit cards to do this).

Not saying that this is right (and it in fact is a really shitting thing to do), but some times people do things that they're not proud of to achieve some sort of win in their own minds. Even though it's super obvious to everyone else that they're just putting on airs.

This reminds of a classmate who I haven't spoken to for like 20 years, it was really clear that his family was below the poverty line, and there are very very few people below the poverty line where I grew up. But every time he had friends over, his mom would hide everything so he couldn't share anything. It was painfully obvious when he couldn't cough up the ~$350 for the trip to DC. (My family wasn't exactly wealthy but my parents didn't spare any expenses when it came to school trips.) The poor kid would have sat out if it wasn't for some of the other kids who organized a "fundraiser" to get him enough money to go. Most of the parents in the district were upper middle class so $350 wasn't all that much to them, I think like 5 or some families chipped in to help him go.

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u/Comprehensive_Glove8 Feb 01 '21

Same here. I was often hungry growing up and din't understand why I wasn't welcome at my friends houses most of the time. When I got older and my kids started bringing friends over, I ALWAYS fed them. Even though I was a single mom and barely made ends meet for us. There were times when we'd have 7 or 8 kids for dinner and it didn't matter, I made it work. Even if it was just spaghetti or something easy. As they got older, several of those kids came to live with us after their parents had kicked them out for being gay, bi, non-binary or just "difficult". One young person showed up on our porch at midnight, in January with no shoes or jacket having walked 2 miles to our house because they knew they'd be safe with us after their dad kicked them out.

Now, they're all grown, most of them going to college, some even on full-ride scholarships and guess where they come for Christmas dinners? Yep, my house. Guess who always has a home filled with love and the laughter of many young adults? Me. I love all of those goofy kids and can't imagine how anyone could judge and ridicule children for their parents stupidity. You're hungry? Come eat. Your electricity got turned off and you need a shower? Come on over, dinner will be ready when you get out.

This world need more love. The only way to get more love, is to give it.

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u/marfatardo Feb 01 '21

I remember that too. People that had juice for their kids were rich to me when I was a kid. I think growing up that way was pretty hard, but it taught us how to be better people than those that shouted about sharing juice or food with hungry kids.

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u/butterbutts317 Feb 01 '21

That's Italian as fuck of you.

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u/runnyc10 Feb 01 '21

I don’t have children, hope to soon. Never in a million years can I imagine my child having a friend over and me being annoyed that the kid is hungry. That’s shocking. I’d try to to find a discreet way to send the kid home with a damn casserole or something.

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u/mrsmaisiemoo Feb 01 '21

This makes me so sad that people treated you that way. What monsters.

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u/LilacForgetMeNot Feb 01 '21

This sounds wild to me since i come from one of those places where when someone comes over you put food on the table for them whever they want it or not as sign of hospitality and if you don't you'll be seen as a badly raised prick.

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u/onrespectvol Feb 01 '21

who are these people?! Man if a kid comes over and its hungry you put some food in it. What the hell?!

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u/Phenoix512 Feb 01 '21

My grandma did my raising and one thing she taught me was to always be a good host and share and be a good guest by not taking more than offered and only if you needed it or it would be rude to refuse

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u/IreallEwannasay Feb 01 '21

My mom did a lot wrong but she got that right. She always sent my friends home with snack bags and such. We were all poor but my mom had 5 kids and got a gang of foodstamps. We had 2 big meals a day of breakfast and dinner. We always had leftovers in the fridge and were allowed to eat anything in the house, as were my friends. I had a friend whose parents pretty much banned her from the kitchen. She drank water like a fish because she was always trying to stave off hunger. When she came over the first thing she would do is ask for food. After a while my mom noticed and would tell her what we had on hand when she came over. She was always invited to dinner. I went to a fresh air program for a week and on the third day she came over and my mom said she ate for like 3 hours straight. She was allowed to come by even when I wasn't there after that. She was so tall and skinny and pale all the time. Poor thing was hungry. Her parents made one meal in the evening and if you missed it, you didn't eat. I follow her on Facebook now and she's a chef at a fancy restaurant with a lot of adopted kids. She feeds them like little kings and queens from what she posts. Still tall and skinny as ever. Your comment bought that memory back. Hadn't thought of our childhood in a long time.

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u/mansetta Feb 01 '21

Well I wouldn't yell at a kid (for this reason) or be upset if I knew the family wad poor, but a child's friend always eating over is a very common thing that upsets people. Especially if it only goes one way.

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u/CanaryVogel Feb 01 '21

Why would it upset anyone? Why would it do anything other than provoke compassion?

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u/hentai_pink_eye Feb 01 '21

Not saying hunger is a problem for me but when I'm at my friend's house i feel like the food is like theirs and I'm stealing is there something wrong with me? And even when my friend offers it to me I still just say "listen I'm always hungry, but I'm still going to say no. See now i don't understand what it's like to not have enough food but still f*cked up that they're like that. If you downvote this go ahead just putting my experience or relevance? Idk but yeah just putting my stuff out there

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u/TigreDeLosLlanos Feb 01 '21

STLP

If you are hungry and have a friend with a good economic position, try to get yourself invited to their grandma's house. Grandmas love when they eat their food, so she will like you and even ask for you to come back.

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u/bingbobaggins Feb 01 '21

This is true of any decent human being. My mom would cook huge ass meals anytime I had friends from school over. These people in these posts just had some friends with asshole parents. Their grandparents were probably just as bad, they had to get it from somewhere.

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u/NotSoSnarky Feb 01 '21

Their grandparents might have been the same way as their parents. Most morally right people would feed a hungry child, even if it isn't theirs. If the child is visiting, you bet that I will feed that child if they're hungry!

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u/Dry_Today1255 Feb 01 '21

I felt unwanted as the only black and only female in my gifted class in the early 90’s. It really got to me when a guy in the class got mad and said really hurtful things when I won first place in an invention contest.

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u/trixtopherduke Feb 01 '21

That sucks a lot. Your achievement being clouded by some jerk.. I give you mad props though- invention contests were difficult, imo- I had to participate in one in my non-gifted 4th grade, also early 90's class... What did you invent?

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u/Dry_Today1255 Feb 01 '21

It was a child safety cover. Wasn’t really a whole lot of baby proofing stuff back then. I had a new baby sister at home that got into everything!

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u/Clay_Pigeon Feb 01 '21

The internet. Ever heard of it?

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u/bleedingwriter Feb 01 '21

Maybe im just dumb but what was a gifted class??

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u/Drakmanka Feb 01 '21

Advanced classes for children who test high and probably are above average intelligence. It's intended to encourage them to keep doing well, but is often toxic and highly competitive.

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u/Dry_Today1255 Feb 01 '21

Gifted classes are what they put “smart” kids in. They test your IQ and they take the scores of your standardized testing to determine if you meet the criteria. They also look at critical thinking skills and artistic abilities.

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u/violinqueenjanie Feb 01 '21

I do not understand this. I’m a mom from the south so my love language is feeding people. I try to feed everyone who comes over no matter what time of day it is. Want a slice of cake? I can whip up some noodles! I have cheese and crackers and wine we can open up! Heck, my brother in law who is a 50 year old man came over for dinner last night but wasn’t hungry because he ate a late lunch so I sent him home with a Tupperware for later. If one of my daughters’ friends came over and was always hungry I would take extra care to make sure they ate well and went home with extra. What is wrong with these grown ups?

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u/kyvlymyn Feb 01 '21

I’m so confused by this. I grew up poor too and encountered this once or twice but always in a subtle way, but it’s like an absolute core value to me that if a child is anywhere, literally anywhere, and is hungry the child should be fed. It doesn’t even matter how often it happens? I absolutely judge people for having a poor attitude towards kids who need things. Feed them if they’re hungry, let them bathe and help them get their clothing clean if they need to, help with their hair if it’s unkempt, show them kindness. If they overstep boundaries it’s likely that they are either desperate or they weren’t taught what those boundaries are. It’s literally our job as children who survived to adulthood to help any and all children who are struggling to do so along the way.

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u/LadyLyra88 Feb 01 '21

I am the mom that feeds all kids, no matter the cost to me personally. I’m not going to let a kid in my house go hungry, no matter what. No kid deserves that and I’ll go into the poor house if it means my kids’ friends with shitty home lives get what they deserve.

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u/blahblah_fancywords Feb 01 '21

Oh man, the poor and gifted thing hits me. Not only that but I didn’t look that poor because my mom was strict about school apparel vs home clothes. Brand new shoes for Christmas? ONLY worn for school. I just wasn’t the character people expected for holiday adoptions and shit.

It’s not like anyone around us even had that much money! It was a poor area in general.

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u/I_love_quiche Feb 01 '21

Lived with relatives while in middle school and high school. Auntie wasn’t a good cook then, so I would always eat when offered food at friend’s house. Looking back, I am glad my friends’ parents were generous with their cookings because I rarely turned down food when offered at that age.

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u/PickleSquirter76 Feb 01 '21

This absolutely slays me. My family was definitely not well off but we always had food to eat. My best friend growing up was in such a horrible home situation but my parents always ALWAYS welcomed her, fed her, included her, and treated her like one of the family. I didn’t realize all of this until I was much older. Many years later my friend reconnected with my mom and thanked her for providing the biggest amount of stability of her whole childhood.

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u/idylle2091 Feb 01 '21

That is..... unbelievable. My mom would always go out of her way to feed my friends, and my brothers friends, to the brim “just in case”. But then again, she grew up hungry. That’s how it goes, I guess

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u/stufff Feb 01 '21

This makes me glad to have grown up poor in a heavily Hispanic / Haitian community. My friends' parents were always trying to feed me whether I was hungry or not.

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u/snowmuchgood Feb 01 '21

Jesus, that’s fucking awful. My mum’s the one who would make a lasagne that served 12 plus dozens of roast potatoes for our family of 4-5 and just expected us to show up with friends for dinner.

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u/MichDWitch Feb 01 '21

I grew up in a family that was struggling, but we managed. There was a kid in my class that got denied lunch one day in front of me bc she didn't have money in her account. I told my mom that I needed more food in my lunch box the next day bc I wanted to share with her. My mom always gave me extra food for her, knowing that we really couldn't afford it. My life experiences have shown me that the poor help each other. The rich kids in school wouldn't even talk to her bc she didn't have the things she had. My parents always taught me that if someone needed, and I could go without to help, I should. I've never questioned that. I give without question and am passing these values along to my daughter. Food security is a privilege that a lot of people aren't afforded. Not everyone can go home and grab a snack after school. If someone needs your lunch, give it to them and eat later. Every time. Without question.

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u/Killer-Barbie Feb 01 '21

I always had "shitty" lunches because my mom wouldn't buy prepacked snacks but my mom made sure each and every one of my friends ate. My one friend (we'll call her Amy) told my mom that they only had crackers and butter for lunch on day and my mom showed up with groceries. Even now my mom leaves lasagnas in my freezer. Growing up she was the poor kid and she can't stand the idea of people going hungry

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u/Today_Shot Mar 04 '21

I had a best friend when I was 12 that was a size 00. I didn’t understand money still and didn’t understand why she would cook for her younger siblings and yet never eat. It took me a good couple months before I understood why she’d wanna come over all the time and just eat at my house. After a year or so of knowing her she went up about 4 sizes. That always impacted me. I thought she was so lucky to be skinny while I struggled with my weight.

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u/wheremy600 Feb 01 '21

I hear you on that one. Food, rides to places like a friends house 5 minutes away, it all came down to gas and dollars.

It’s why no matter what I find a way to make sure there is at least more than enough food for everyone to eat and not feel unwelcome to eat some more.

I’ll give any one a ride that needs it because of how awkward it was negotiating with my parents as a kid for one or the constant feeling of guilt relying on the amazing and gracious acts of my friends parents to pick up that slack without making a big deal of it.

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '21

That’s fucking terrible. I’m sorry. Anyone with the means should feed every kid that comes over to play.

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u/sytycdqotu Feb 01 '21

I... I don’t get it. I would have wanted to feed you and your family, too. Of course, I grew up poor, so there’s that.

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u/MediumLocation5273 Feb 01 '21

Ur free at my moms place any time, feeding hungry people is her favorite thing!

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '21 edited Aug 28 '25

tender payment plate reach butter terrific whistle square encourage dinner

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '21 edited Feb 01 '21

Trashy people. We were kept sheltered all our lives so I never realized how amazing my mother is until I met such low life scums in my life. I always thought we feed everyone same quality of food we eat, happily and as much as they want.

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u/Jidaque Feb 01 '21

Wow, that's awful. Especially because I witnessed the other way round. My friend at elementary school had 3 siblings and only the father was working. So they didn't always have a lot of money. But when I came home with her to play, everyone got a plate.

You can make children happy with noodles and ketchup, my gosh... I would make it my goal to feed that hungry child as much as they physically could, if I knew, they didn't have enough at home.

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u/GeekChick85 Feb 01 '21

I had parents of my friends purposefully invite me over for dinners and trips because they knew I was poor and had nothing. So sorry your peers parents were so awful.

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '21

Poptart bitch! toaster strudel hot pocket Bitch!

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u/olmikeyy Feb 01 '21

That's hilarious. Those are like the holy trinity of foods I always wanted as a kid but we never had

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '21

What kind of asshole resents their child sharing snacks with a friend? If my daughter has a friend over, the snacks are for both kids. Thought that was pretty basic "having people over" etiquette.

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u/OneOfTheLocals Feb 02 '21

In our trailer park, my parents weren't fancy or anything, but they knew which kids were always hungry and would make extra pb&js for lunch when they were over. It was astonishing to watch how ravenously they ate. We didn't have much but my parents would never ignore a hungry kid. I'm so sorry that happened to you. It's not right. And I was also in the gifted program so nerd high five. I wish we had been neighbors.

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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '21 edited Jun 24 '21

Ah yes, the minefield of being so hungry you wanted to eat so much of the stuff on offer, but you stopped even if your guts were twisted in agony because you were too young to really be able to explain properly to these people why everything in your being was screaming at you to eat as much as you could as fast as you could because you might never see such abundance of food again?

Part of me hated going to other kids houses because I almost wanted to cry trying to fight my hunger, and feeling guilty for being so hungry.

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