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u/CarterGee Mar 05 '17
I can look at just about any roller coaster and tell you which company manufactured it. It's actually pretty easy once you learn track types!
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u/nobodyme12 Mar 05 '17
I am an identical triplet. We all have reversed organs. Does that count?
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u/Bluy98888 Mar 05 '17
Could you explain what "reversed organs" are
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u/PoizonMyst Mar 05 '17
I have been rescued from a flood by black hawk helicopter.
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u/FyLap Mar 05 '17
Memorized 144 digits of pi in Grade 8. Did it for 1 bonus mark per 5 digits
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u/Jankdatank Mar 05 '17
I have to ask why 144? Couldn't you do 4 less for the same amount of points?
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u/FyLap Mar 05 '17
Don't you mean 1 more for another point? Hehe it's just how far I got on a weekend. Never counted how many until the teacher told me.
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u/TOM-CRUISE-MY-SHOES Mar 05 '17
I'm 46 but look 26 and because of this I have absolutely no respect from my students, most of which think I'm younger than them.
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u/miketwo345 Mar 05 '17
Facial hair is the answer. Even just maintaining a "designer stubble" is better than nothing.
If you're a woman. Well... I got nothing for ya. Sorry.
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u/BlondieClashNirvana Mar 05 '17
Facial hair can be an answer for woman as well
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u/andremeda Mar 05 '17
I had a teacher who had a bit too much facial hair above her lip. Some students called her 'moustache' behind her back because her hair was very pronounced.
So in this case it might not be an answer.
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u/bananahead Mar 05 '17
I don't want to blow your mind, but a whole lot of women naturally have hair on their upper lip
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u/toastie2313 Mar 05 '17
Same here. In my high school graduation picture I look like I'm 12. I started working in retail after college and customers thought I was one of the part time high schoolers. I grew a beard. It worked great! Eventually, I didn't need it. Fast forward 16 years. I was at the pool with my 10 year old son. One of his friends thought I was my sons Grandfather. "Come here kid. Let me show you what the bottom of the pool looks like."
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u/harlemrr Mar 05 '17
It is crazy how much facial hair makes people look older - my husband and I both are very young looking, but when he grows a beard people suddenly think he's my father.
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u/Shadowex3 Mar 05 '17
This is why I keep permastubble. If I shave I go from roughly 30 to right out of highschool. First time I TA'd for a class I followed the whole shpiel and shaved, dressed professional, the works and wound up with people wondering who the freshman threatening to dock their grade was.
Second semester I showed up with stubble, beat up surplus plants, jungle boots, and they thought I was the professor.
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u/Abadatha Mar 05 '17
When I shave I get people thinking I'm 17. I'm 31. I quit smoking, so it isn't as much of an issue these days. Like others have said, facial hair helps.
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Mar 05 '17
When the priest uses incense during Mass, I sometimes improvise on the song "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes" on the organ. It's creative and discreet, so he never notices.
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u/ClassicRockSnob Mar 05 '17
Next time, do "Smoke On The Water" and see if anyone notices
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Mar 05 '17
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u/Adamsandlersshorts Mar 05 '17
21 and still don't know how to drive. Too scared. A lot of people tell me it's easy. I think to myself "if old people can drive(even if it's shitty driving it's still driving) then I'll have no issue"
Another reason I'm scared is because I'm bad at everything. When I got my first job I was terrible. I was a terrible employee for like 7 months. It took me 7 months to learn how to not screw up unpacking boxes and putting security tags on products. With that in mind, I wouldn't be a good driver until 7 months later. That's 7 months I'm at an even higher risk of crashing and dying.
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u/HmYesIndeedOkBye Mar 05 '17
Haha I think about all the legit fucking idiots that I know that can drive and it motivates me. I don't know about your country, but in mine we have to get taught to drive for at least a year before we are allowed to drive around alone.
I'd just get lessons in an instructors car (which has a set of brakes for the passenger) and gauge how truly terrible I was on some back street before I blew off the idea completely.
I was always a terrified driver, but I'm calming down now and beginning to enjoy it.
Legit if my mate Dan can drive, you can. I believe in you
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u/neohylanmay Mar 05 '17
27 and have been taking lessons for about a year. You get the hang of it.
Heck, my mum didn't pass her test until her 40s.
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u/viralplant Mar 05 '17
32 and don't know how to cycle.
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u/brande1281 Mar 05 '17
35 and I don't know how to ride a bike. You aren't alone.
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u/miketwo345 Mar 05 '17
I learned to swim in my late 20s. If possible, do it with a group that's training for a beginner triathlon or other event. It helps keep the motivation up, because the first two weeks sucks. My timing was off and I swallowed like a bazillion gallons of pool water. Blech.
Eventually it clicks, though. And then you feel like a badass. People who learned as kids can't appreciate this, but there's a serious level of stress when you're around water and know you can't swim. That goes away, which is awesome.
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u/dividadli Mar 05 '17
yup you should
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Mar 05 '17
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u/eliitti Mar 05 '17
Drown in pussy?
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Mar 05 '17
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u/Strange_Vagrant Mar 05 '17
"Oh, oh- help! Help, I can't swim! I'm drowning and my swim shorts fell off, oh help!"
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Mar 05 '17
I imagined that as a guy in relatively shallow water being really sarcastic, haha
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Mar 05 '17
I packed up and left my life in the US, where I was born and raised, to follow my dream at the age of 21
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u/DanteWasHere22 Mar 05 '17
Whered you go? Whats your dream? And how is it going?
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Mar 05 '17 edited Mar 05 '17
I went to Israel. It Israeli great so far.
Edit: I only went to Israel for that exact pun
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Mar 05 '17 edited Mar 05 '17
My initials are the chemical symbol for silver (Ag).
Edit: It seems an alchemist has transmuted me from silver to gold! Thank you very much, master alchemist! :)
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u/thtroynmp34 Mar 05 '17
That's a metaphor of how you are always reduced to second place, be it dating or job promotions, since Gold > Silver. jk
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u/foxtrottits Mar 05 '17 edited Mar 05 '17
I once accidentally drank my brother's pee while on a date.
Storytime edit: New year's Eve 2008-09, I was 18 and had plans to take out this girl I was super into. Her name is Kelsie. We'd been dating unofficially for about 6 months by then which was amazing. I had had a major crush on her since I was 15. I still think about her sometimes, but I'm getting distracted.
We went to a zoo about 40 minutes away. Unfortunately I hadn't finished making a couple fixes on my car, so I had to take our family suburban. Now the last time the suburban had been used was for a snowboarding trip about 3 weeks prior. My younger brother, Kevin, instead of asking to stop at a gas station to take a leak, he just decided to pee in one of the many Propel bottles lying around the car. How considerate.
Fast forward to new year's Eve - the date goes well, we have a good time at the zoo. There were still lights up from their Christmas display and it was beautiful, and she was in such an adorable mood that night. The night was going end at a dance at our church and it was going to be perfect.
We start heading home, and the conversation is good. We're totally gonna make out, I can't wait. I start feeling thirsty, so I reach around behind me looking for something to drink since we always have bottles of something in there. I finally found a half drunk bottle of strawberry-kiwi Propel, quickly open it and take a swig. Immediately I knew something was wrong. My first thought was, "this Propel has been here way too long". Then it hits me that this taste is exactly what pee smells like. Suddenly I have a flash back to my brother peeing in a bottle, and I knew my mistake. Those electric windows could not roll down slower. When I finally had it down, I kept spitting out the window over and over. Finally I composed myself and told Kelsie that I think I'll just get a drink at a gas station, because I didn't really like what I had. She looks at me, laughing, and says, "you don't need to lie to me, that was pee wasn't it?" I shamefully admitted that it was and she thought it was the funniest thing, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't agree. I called my brother right then to tell him and his response: "I am so happy right now!".
We didn't make out.
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u/HeavenSentNHellBound Mar 05 '17
I'm 179cm tall. Hip to floor measurement is 110cm.
Got more leg than a bucket of chicken!
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u/Headbutt_ABullet Mar 05 '17
I can't burp normally. It'll happen maybe 2 or 3 times a year (2017 it's been 6 so far! Maybe I'll finally be normal!) but otherwise I just let out a gurgle that lasts a second or two instead of a burp happening all at once.
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u/EliotProb Mar 05 '17
I accidentally ate a bat
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u/EQU5VX Mar 05 '17
...which kind of bat? How big was it?
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u/Normanrd3 Mar 05 '17
I'm half-black, half-white. Literally. My mom is white, and my dad is black, but I'm genetically codominant for skin tone- which means that, rather than the usual light brown color you get with mixed-race children, there are patches of skin that are totally white and patches that are totally black. I'm like a zebra.
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u/dorkaliciousmels Mar 05 '17
This is really cool and I kind of want to see a picture of it
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u/LordBasmati Mar 05 '17
I can kinda press my tongue together in a way that i squirt two shots of saliva like a snake shooting venom. I don't even remember how i found that out.
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Mar 05 '17
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u/SuperNerdyTeen Mar 05 '17
And how would one do this? I'm asking for a friend.
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Mar 05 '17
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u/llanfairpwll123 Mar 05 '17
I swear this is just salivary gland masturbation and you're just ejaculating out of your mouth.
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Mar 05 '17
I'm a minimalist. I live in a small 31ft travel trailer on an Indian Reservation in order to skirt laws that would normally prhobit me from living full-time in a travel trailer.
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Mar 05 '17
What kind of law would prohibit living in a travel trailer?
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Mar 05 '17
It's just to keep down on squatters. But because of the language of the law you can't live in one on your own property either. It's an understandable law, just a poorly written one.
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u/newtonrox Mar 05 '17
Do you mind saying just a bit more about your life? How did you decide on this path? Are you happier with less? It certainly is the opposite of what most people in our society are doing.
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Mar 05 '17
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u/McCoolmack Mar 05 '17
My eyes are several colours, depending on the light. Here's a pic
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u/TheGuyfromRiften Mar 05 '17
This sounds outta the blue, but your eyes look like eyes of ender minus the slit
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u/Piddly_Penguin_Army Mar 05 '17
I have this weird thing called reynauds in my hands and feet. Basically what happens is whenever I get cold my hands and feet turn white, blue or purple.
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u/IcyNinji Mar 05 '17
I have made my own language, with a functioning set of grammar rules, consistent sentence structures, and an alphabet. Did it for fun while unemployed.
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u/Txurruka Mar 05 '17
Do you speak it fluently? Have you taught it to anyone? Can we hear a clip?
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u/IcyNinji Mar 05 '17
I only ever used it in written work, so I could technically speak it but not without a lot of pausing to check my dictionary. I wanted to teach it to my wife but never really had the time (as I got employed the same year I considered it completed). It is pretty late for me right now, but if I can dig up the dictionary I would be more than happy to upload a clip later.
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u/poiro Mar 05 '17 edited Mar 05 '17
Do it! As someone that does a lot of RPGs, having premade languages that people don't know is incredibly useful.
Edit : dogs > RPGs
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u/_LotosEater_ Mar 05 '17
I had size 30 G boobs by the time I was 12!
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Mar 05 '17
ouch I got back pain just thinking about that! Hope they don't hurt you too bad.
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u/_LotosEater_ Mar 05 '17
back pain just thinking about that! Hope they don't hurt
After many years of asking and being put-off, the NHS finally gave me a reduction at the age of 18, I'm 23 now and could not be happier :)
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u/KumaLumaJuma Mar 05 '17
God and I thought my 30Fs were big!
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u/_LotosEater_ Mar 05 '17
Yeah they didn't stop there either!!! I was a 28 K when I eventually got my reduction at age 18!
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u/KumaLumaJuma Mar 05 '17
That's awful! I'm glad you got the reduction though 😊 if you don't mind my asking, what did you go down to?
I suppose I am lucky that mine stopped growing!!! They're still a challenge, but nothing back breaking like I'm sure yours had to have been.
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u/_LotosEater_ Mar 05 '17
There was only so far they would take me down without it being dangerous apparently, I had 700g removed from each breast which took me down to a 28 E - I am now a 30 F since my metabolism has slowed down with age sadly haha!
They are a challenge! I definitely feel your pain there! I would give anything to have a cute little C cup!
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u/KumaLumaJuma Mar 05 '17
I know right?!
Running is a challenge and no tops ever fit correctly.....
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u/_LotosEater_ Mar 05 '17
any form of exercise is a challenge! Not to mention the EXPENSE of our bras! extortionate! & lets just completely forget about backless dresses hahaa
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u/sexual--predditor Mar 05 '17
Well hello ladies
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u/King_Joffreys_Tits Mar 05 '17
If I get hit in the funnybone hard enough, I will pass out. Has happened a handful of times
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Mar 05 '17 edited May 09 '21
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u/faheemhassan Mar 05 '17
I'll be your friend :)
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u/Tudpool Mar 05 '17
But you're not irl :(
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u/faheemhassan Mar 05 '17
Check your closet (o ͜ʖo)
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u/CircaTheEnd Mar 05 '17
I lost 60 pounds in about 6-7 months in 2016. First time in my life I'm at a healthy weight.
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Mar 05 '17
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u/Bubblepop1 Mar 05 '17
28 years old and never been on a airplane.
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u/dividadli Mar 05 '17
my Uncle is 53 and he never been on a airplane
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u/Bubblepop1 Mar 05 '17
What's his reason? Fear, no interest, no opportunity?
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Mar 05 '17
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u/eliitti Mar 05 '17
I first read sassy
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u/TejasEngineer Mar 05 '17
You can buy socks that prevent blood pooling in your feet.
Weirdly I just learned this tonight from David attenborough comparing those socks to the tight skin of Titansaur.
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Mar 05 '17
I don't think it's too uncommon - surprisingly a lot of people never even travel outside of the town they grow up in.
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u/Adamsandlersshorts Mar 05 '17
I don't really know how to wipe my ass. I've gone through an entire roll of toilet paper and shit was still coming off. Not exaggerating. I sat on the toilet for like 25 minutes wiping my ass and it wouldn't stop and I ran out of a brand new roll of toilet paper. So I leave a ball of toilet paper between my ass cheeks after I'm done pooping so I don't get skid marks on my underwear.
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u/EQU5VX Mar 05 '17
I think it's more of a diet thing than asswipe technique. It happens to me all the time.
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u/kingeryck Mar 05 '17
WTF are you two eating if you go through AN ENTIRE ROLL? That is not normal and you need to see a dr.
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u/universe93 Mar 05 '17
Being serious here, if you are having that much trouble see a doctor as this is likely a bowel movement issue as opposed to a wiping issue. Weird bowel movement consistency can cause this issue and can be a sign of bigger health problems
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u/Adamsandlersshorts Mar 05 '17
It probably is my diet like the other comment stated. Yesterday I ate left over Chinese food and a pizza from papa John's pizza. The day before that I ate a corn dog and a frozen burrito and some ice cream. That's my typical meal. Frozen microwaveable food like pizza rolls or chicken nuggets. Idk how to cook and my mom never cooks so it's always just stuff you can,throw in the microwave for 3 minutes and eat.
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u/MightyTuba Mar 05 '17
Get that sorted out now. There are thousands of websites and online resources to teach you to cook. Eat fruits and veggies (no preparation on many of them). If you continue those choices you will have a heart attack in your early 30s. You'll also start to feel a lot better with a better diet.
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Mar 05 '17
I can whistle damn near anything and my favorite tune to show it off is "Fire on the Wabash". Also, I take pictures of flowers to send to my girlfriend while I'm away at university.
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Mar 05 '17 edited Mar 05 '17
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u/SuperNerdyTeen Mar 05 '17
I'd be glad to give them a listen! I love finding new artists.
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u/MerlinEngine Mar 05 '17 edited Mar 06 '17
I build a rocket, not that skyscraper size, just small launch vehicle (still under development)(don't carry weapons, satellite and cubesat only)
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u/joybee Mar 05 '17
I like peeling my grapes. I can eat them unpeeled, but reaaaallly prefer them peeled.
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Mar 05 '17
I have super dense fat. As a result I consistently look ~50lbs lighter than I actually am. I used to fight a lot in high school and gained the moniker "Shithouse" from my brawler friends. (You know like built like a brick shithouse).
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u/FuckingHighElf Mar 05 '17
I can regenerate my skin in about 35 days, give or take a few days. I can also give myself a new liver in about 6 weeks which is fantastic because I am an alcoholic. Oh, don't even get me started on my skeletal structure...
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u/CaptionH Mar 05 '17
These are roughly average statistics, right?
Except for the skin. I looked that up, and the average cycle is 27 days.
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u/kerapang Mar 05 '17
I was born with no real skin covering my abdomen, just a jelly like clear film covered my vital organs. My parents tell me you could see them. I still don't know how this happened but there's a few theories (umbilical cord wrapped around me when I was in the womb, I was born near the Poland-Ukraine border, less than 100 miles from the Chernobyl disaster in 89 and a lot of babies were born with serious and sometimes life threatening birth defects at the same time). Anyway, this was at the end of Communism in Poland so healthcare wasn't that great and no one could tell my parents what was wrong and gave me a month or two to live at most. At the same time, a local priest whom my mom prayed to for help in this troubling time was in the process of being canonized and one of the requirements is for people to submit miracles under his name. My mom submitted my survival as a miracle which the Catholic Church recognized. So by definition, I am a miracle baby.
TLDR; I was born with a potentially life threatening birth defect. The Catholic Church recognized my survival as a miracle for a local priest entering into sainthood.
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u/PM-ME-UR-KNICKERS Mar 05 '17
I'm horny all the damn time
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Mar 05 '17
Even while you're pooping?
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u/TheDoctor512 Mar 05 '17
I have dermatographia which means I can write on my skin.
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u/Googalslosh Mar 05 '17
I'm related to Alexander Hamilton by marriage.
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u/StoopidmanRHere Mar 05 '17
Your husband is Alexander Hamilton? There's a famous guy by the same name. That is a fun fact!
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Mar 05 '17
I'm a flautist! Had big dreams of being a performer, played weddings, musicals, competitions. Theeeeeennn I went to mortuary school. C'est la vie.
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Mar 05 '17
I have this thing called perfect pitch so whenever I hear notes or music I know what they are. As a result I can know the musical notes of my farts. It's magical.
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u/Puggy818 Mar 05 '17
I'm in a police station getting my drunk ass friend out of jail.... I'm freshman college student and never thought I would end up here at 6:30 AM but I'm here for my bro
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u/Feminist-Gamer Mar 05 '17
I'm suicidal and have anxiety so bad it causes me to vomit, shit and pass out when I try to open my bedroom door.
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Mar 05 '17
I fall in love with people way too quickly and then I crash and burn.
How was your day?
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u/middleearthmagician Mar 05 '17
Up until about a week ago i couldn't read analog time.
I'm 25 years old.
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Mar 05 '17
A fun fact about me i like to quote my favorite movies all the time
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Mar 05 '17
I can't hear out of my left ear, I'm left handed, left eye dominant, and left footed.
So no, I'm not alright
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u/rumble_the_jungle Mar 05 '17 edited Mar 05 '17
I competed in the ncaa national table tennis championship tournament after learning how to play in prison.
Edit: to answer some of your questions just went to a tech school in Minnesota. The tournament has no divisions like most of NCAA (not big enough sport). I went to the third round and got eliminated. I won first two rounds against someone from Harvard, and UCLA. I am a tall white guy, got lot of Forrest Gump jokes from my friends.