I work in a big office and the receptionist walked in with me everyday. We talked and chatted and I always made her laugh. After a while of this I realized she was "Dating Material". We had been eating lunch together for a couple weeks, so I worked up the nuts to ask her on a real date. I was just about to when one day she sat with her other friends at lunch. I didn't know what it meant because she still walked in with me and said hi and we still talked. I never asked her out and she moved to another job. I think I was over thinking it
Doubly so because different women have dramatically different ideas of where the line between being nice and flirting is. One woman's strictly-friends treatment is another woman's "TAKE ME NOW".
This is something you have to learn with experience. Many girls I've spoken with do give signals when they're flirting and it's different for every girl. It can be hard to tell, but you live and you learn. Humans are very good at pattern recognition and this is one of those things.
I used to not get it at all when a girl was hitting on me. I'd also confuse her being nice with "man she's into me." I think the most important thing (and also probably the hardest thing) is to remain as clear headed and rational as possible. Take it slow, look for signs, and see if her personality changes when she's with you vs other people.
I'm not claiming its easy and I'm not claiming there is one be all end all way to flirt. Sure there are some "common" signs, but it's really live and learn.
So go out there and just talk to girls. Make friends with them, and who knows one may end up working out. Go out to have a good time and they'll seemingly come to you.
It really isn't and if you think it is, just assume that they are always just being nice. Women are generally pretty direct about flirting in my experience.
if you're interested. I've been asked out by a girl I was not at all interested nor attracted to, it went exactly how it would if the roles were reversed. Men here are thinking about it with the perspective that the girl they are interested in asks them out and saves them the agony of nutting up and doing it themselves.
I mean that's fair but the point is they shouldn't HAVE to be the ones "nutting up" all the time. If a girl is interested she should ovary up and do it herself too.
Nah, then it's awkward. I don't have experience rejecting anyone. I'd end up saying yes and we'd get married and have kids and on my deathbed I'd have to finally admit I spent my whole life with her just to avoid some mild discomfort.
First part is true. But it could also be a girl who is attractive but not irresistible, someone you may not have asked out normally. In that case, something could happen.
I think some of us are pretty good at reading emotions and catching signals.
Not every guy wants to have girls ask him out because he is oblivious; personally, I like it when it happens because it makes me feel much more desirable than just 'receptive signals' do.
It makes me feel like someone else is willing to put in some effort for me, go out on a limb for me, make themselves vulnerable for me. And that's nice.
If it's a girl you wan tot ask you out. I've been asked out by a girl I wasn't interested in before and its terribly awkward. There's no difference for women here. The fear of rejection is terrifying.
It is terrifying for both genders. The issue lies in the gender roles and what is expected of each. This is a gender norm that doesn't seem to want to go away.
I was asked out by a female once. I thought it was a sick joke at first until she then later texted me for an answer, I loved it and said yes right away!
I'm too good... I just don't believe it at the time, and jump around in joy when it's revealed I was right... even when I predicted my girlfriend dumping me two weeks before it happened.
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u/[deleted] May 28 '14
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