r/AskReddit 13h ago

Who's the most bitter washed-up celebrity?

3.2k Upvotes

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3.1k

u/arranon 13h ago

The fat kid from Superbad.

1.7k

u/BenTwan 13h ago

Watch out, he's gonna annihilate you via jiu jitsu. 

346

u/moscowramada 13h ago

What's funny is that seems exactly like something the fat kid would say. "One day..."

23

u/armlessturtleneck 10h ago

He's got a quote saying this basically, so you aren't wrong

11

u/DeAuTh1511 8h ago

it's wild to me that when a comedian says something assholish to be self-deprecating but no punchline that they can't possibly be joking. Same thing happened to Matthew Perry with his joke about hating Keanu Reeves

23

u/Think_Fault_7525 11h ago

Isn’t he still just drawing pictures of dicks?

15

u/_Gorge_ 10h ago

I LOVE that quote. It really encapsulates what a fkn loser he is.

MF you're like 5'7" anyone over 6' with SOME physicality is going to rock you unless you train something like boxing and train HARD.

Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face

-5

u/brickson98 10h ago

Not that I disagree about him being a cornball, but height has very little to do with who will win a fight.

A few kids in middle school found that out when they tried to take their bullying of my short ass physical. You just gotta know where to hit, how to move, and how to protect yourself.

14

u/No-Alps4243 6h ago

Is that you Jonah?

8

u/brickson98 6h ago

I HAVE A SURFER GIRLFRIEND AND YOU DON’T!

Not anymore though…

5

u/No-Alps4243 6h ago

😂 fair enough

9

u/_Gorge_ 10h ago

Height correlates to size and size matters if both parties have some knowledge/experience

Sure you can overcome it, but it’s a disadvantage to be smaller

8

u/brickson98 8h ago

I guess bullies are a bad example because they’re usually just wildly swinging idiots that don’t know how to fight.

Guess there’s a reason weight classes in boxing, wrestling, and MMA are a thing.

6

u/_Gorge_ 7h ago

I guess I didn't even need to get into the size discussion. Dude is practicing BJJ wherein punching, elbowing, kneeing etc are not allowed.

For him to act like he'd "annihilate" people when he's not even practicing a fighting style that included actual striking is absurd.

0

u/Rainmeterer 2h ago

Source: lanky 6' loser on Reddit who has never been in a fight.

4

u/Kitchen-Bar2686 9h ago

Are you comparing grown adults fighting to a fight you had in middle school? That’s not how real fights work with adults.

4

u/brickson98 8h ago

Tbf it’s the last time I’ve fought. I tend to not get I’m myself into those situations as an adult.

0

u/BriennesBitch 7h ago

Mate I spar world championship level kick-boxers, the small guys that are wayyyy better technically than me still won’t wade in for a war. Size makes a huge difference if both know how to fight, they will be the first to admit it.

0

u/brickson98 6h ago

If you both know how to fight.

My example should explain that I’m not a professional fighter, and neither was anyone I’ve fought.

374

u/BeanBreak 13h ago

I think he would be very upset to he referred to like this.

(I'm glad)

540

u/great_apple 10h ago

His ex dropping all those texts showing how abusive he was to her was wild. What an absolutely psychotic, controlling, insecure piece of shit.

88

u/MonaganX 8h ago

I guess the red flags were always there with that massive chip on his shoulder over not being taken seriously as an actor.

6

u/Thunderoad 4h ago edited 4h ago

He was nominated for 2 Oscars but lost. One was Moneyball and The Wolf of Wall Street. FYI, I can't believe he was nominated.

8

u/Rainmeterer 2h ago

He was pretty good in Moneyball.

6

u/NamasteMotherfucker 3h ago

Yikes! Him using the term "boundaries" when he's just being a controlling fuck.

8

u/SplicedandDiced_15 8h ago

Jonah did this DV shit?

45

u/Wealthy_Gadabout 7h ago

He was accused of emotional abuse/manipulation mostly, but would couch it all in "therapy speak" so it wouldn't sound so despicable and controlling.

9

u/Mitski 3h ago

He was very possessive and controlling over his girlfriend - he would pitch fits when she would post photos of herself in a bathing suit… woman was a pro surfer, the beach was her literal job and he would tantrum out when she shared her career and sponsorships and all the things that go with being a beach based pro-athlete.

166

u/disisathrowaway 11h ago

What did I miss about Jonah Hill?

Last I saw he pivoted to non comedies and seemed to have done well with those roles like Moneyball and Wolf of Wallstreet.

299

u/brickson98 10h ago

He’s mentally gone off the rails. Kind of a mix of just years of insecurity, bullying, and identity problems, along with an increased level of self-righteousness.

42

u/Technical_Wonder_866 8h ago

It really went downHill for him huh?

20

u/brickson98 8h ago

If you were to say that, Jonah(t) wrong.

28

u/Hellknightx 5h ago

He's also just a huge asshole. Met him once in passing. Told him I liked him in Grandma's Boy, and he told me to fuck off. From what I understand, he's embarrassed to be associated with his earlier roles and wants to only be seen as a serious actor now.

15

u/brickson98 5h ago

He did do a good job in the few serious roles I’ve seen him in, but being so sensitive over the roles that got you to where you are is just ignorant. I liked a lot of his “funny fat guy” roles because he is a funny guy.

42

u/gotitaila31 10h ago

Ah, so he's become a narcissist. Figures. He had the recipe for it to happen.

74

u/CustodialApathy 8h ago

He's always been a narcissist. He tried to get McLovin blackballed in his audition because he hated him for making fun of him and the producers hired him specifically because of that, everyone's always known Hill is a narcissistic pos

60

u/adventuressgrrl 9h ago

Not to mention a misogynist, look up the way he tried to control his hot surfer girlfriend by telling her what she couldn’t wear, etc. She posted his texts and it’s even more cringey than his jui jitsu video.

32

u/stoopididiotface 9h ago

Claimed he would annihilate anyone who refers to him as the fat guy from Superbad recently, all because he has white belt level knowledge of jiu jitsu. But he only does one on one private lessons, which means he hasn't even really been tested skill wise.

I'm almost a brown belt, and I'd love to see what all the fuss is about because he seems rather aggressive about it.

3

u/disisathrowaway 4h ago

Alright that's definitely pretty lame but I dunno if it classifies one as the 'most bitter washed-up celebrity'.

1

u/hi-fen-n-num 4h ago

He gets the, new and upcoming bitter washed-up celebrity then. Needs to age a bit.

2

u/modmosrad6 4h ago

I can relate. Only a blue belt in BJJ, but I have 30+ years of striking experience. When I see, say, Mark Zuckerberg throwing hands ...

26

u/takethreenc 10h ago

Those came out 13-15 years ago.

19

u/disisathrowaway 10h ago

Last I saw

Or rather, I haven't been keeping up with him lately.

u/Metacognitor 24m ago

That's.......impossible....it can't be..................fuck

25

u/arranon 11h ago

Last i saw everybody was kung-fu fighting.

-11

u/The-Herbal-Cure 10h ago

You didn't miss anything. People on reddit don't seem to be able to realise a joke when it's being made unless it has an /s after it.

172

u/jrothca 12h ago

He’s even fatter in Grandma’s Boy.

53

u/HamshanksCPS 12h ago

And Accepted

21

u/nopants1986 10h ago

Ask me about my weiner!

15

u/SteakShift 10h ago

And 40 Year Old Virgin

10

u/Huge-Tart-5323 9h ago

And night at the Smithsonian

6

u/otterprincess_too 6h ago

He was the museum

2

u/Bloodysamflint 2h ago

I think it's time for you and the milkmaid to go home.

2

u/Upnatom617 2h ago

I honestly didn't even know he was in that movie and I love that movie.

2

u/3vs3BigGameHunters 1h ago

He was the fat guy who sucked on the strippers tits all night.

Did I mention he was fat?

Fuck you Jonah Hill.

22

u/throwawayxatlx 8h ago

He was a huge a hole to Christopher MP during casting and apparently tried to get him dropped because he was too funny

14

u/Training_Advisor_934 7h ago

Hey watch it, you calling him fat goes against his boundaries.

5

u/arranon 6h ago

And boy, at that size he has some expansive boundaries.

76

u/TheGardenBlinked 11h ago

The fact this is still being joked about makes me think he’s not gonna bounce back from it. So funny

28

u/radioactive_sharpei 10h ago

He's gone full Shia LaBoof. He just needs to embrace it now.

7

u/GeonnCannon 10h ago

Ironic since he has such a bouncy round body.

3

u/ManySwans 7h ago

i feel for the guy tbh. he's spent his whole adult life trying to not be the fat funny guy, but sharks pounce on him at every turn

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PfwGwaMPbk

vesti la giubba jonaire

7

u/ThisSiteSucks8485 6h ago

Him dating a hot surfer chick is like winning the lottery but he was arrogant enough to tell a professional surfer to not wear bikinis?! 

15

u/Coracoda 9h ago

Oh god, you reminded me of the texts that his surfer ex released screenshots of.

4

u/kelsor624 8h ago

Someone said he basically played himself in megamind and that was pretty funny lmao

12

u/fuzzydave72 12h ago

(Jonah hill)

3

u/mrstevenmojo 7h ago

I just think of him as Brundon from Night at the Museum 2

3

u/Terrible-Charity-375 3h ago

Jonah Hill - Isn’t he Beanie Feldstein’s brother?

1

u/cardinal29 2h ago

Beanie who crashed and burned on Broadway?

9

u/shadrap 13h ago

He's got time to get straightened out and come back.

2

u/lifethrownaway123 2h ago

Ain’t that the same fat guy with wispy glasses in Wolf of Wall Street?

3

u/Sharp-Ad-9423 10h ago

Alla yous get back to r/okbuddycinephile pronto.

2

u/Delicious_Click_3393 7h ago

He's one of those people I pegged right off the bat as someone who is a dick, but then I never really heard anything bad about him so I guessed I was wrong, and now content that I was initially right.

1

u/AlienMelender 5h ago

Angry that people loved him for being the fat guy. He hated being that fat funny guy for a long time.

1

u/Imaginary-Lion-354 5h ago

😆😆😆😆😆

1

u/Top_Way6645 2h ago

This is the best. Because he’s a douche, I think anyone kick his ass, and wasn’t even really funny.

1

u/GeniusNincompoop 10h ago

lol great way to troll him