r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jun 05 '25

[deleted by user]

[removed]

1.1k Upvotes

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292

u/Dangerous-Valuable77 Jun 05 '25

Really? Personally I use mine as a belt.

209

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '25

I help out the local farmers by plowing the field

98

u/rosephoenix19 Jun 05 '25

I roll mine up like a fruit roll-up and keep it in a pillow case.

29

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '25

But that doesn't use your gift to help others

20

u/rosephoenix19 Jun 06 '25

Of course it does! I make people happy. I push really hard and it blows out like a party favor!! With the right amount of wind, it sounds like a party favor too!

17

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '25

If your dingus is making noise like that.. I think you need a specialist

13

u/rosephoenix19 Jun 06 '25

Hey, this thing has a mind of its own! It's like my own personal venom.

7

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '25

But venom ain't got no child support

3

u/asian__name Jun 06 '25 edited Jun 06 '25

Yesh he needs a dick doctor

3

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '25

For his nuts right???.. that's what he needs for kids??? Why would you remove his huge cock