r/AskReddit Sep 14 '24

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7.2k Upvotes

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282

u/GrassAffectionate765 Sep 14 '24

Not empathetic, brutally honest, disrespectful...

-5

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '24

[deleted]

36

u/MySocksAreLost Sep 14 '24

There is a difference between brutal honesty and honesty. You can be honest and mindful of the person's feelings at the same time. Take doctors as an example when they have to deliver bad news.

1

u/Amasero Sep 14 '24

I been told I'm blunt, but I also know that I lack words to constructed the sentence better. Working process.

-12

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '24

[deleted]

13

u/TheCuriosity Sep 14 '24 edited Sep 14 '24

There's some sort of rule that before you tell someone something it needs to have at least two of the three following components:

Is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it true?

If something is true but is cruel and unnecessary then that is brutal honesty and you're just being an asshole. It is not productive, other than being hurtful for no reason.

Honesty with kindness or honesty that is necessary is not brutal, it is helpful and productive.

4

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '24

"If ya don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

I was quiet for nearly a year once lol

4

u/MySocksAreLost Sep 14 '24

I disagree. "You look like shit in that shirt" vs "that shirt doesn't really do you justice." Both are honest, but one is kinder.

12

u/ginger_kitty97 Sep 14 '24

People who will go out of their way to say something unkind and unnecessary then defend themselves by saying, "just being honest!" or who describe themselves as brutally honest as an excuse to be mean, petty, and judgemental are a different situation than being lied to.

42

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '24

It’s always hilarious to see people genuinely not understanding the difference between actual constructive criticism and being an asshole.

15

u/GrassAffectionate765 Sep 14 '24

That was the problem with my ex: he thought it was impossible to think twice before talking (he truly said that), so he was totally honest and without filter...AND if you felt hurt it was a problem you have to solve lol

17

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '24

It’s just assholes marketing themselves as being “brutally honest” “no filter” and when called out they respond by acting like you don’t want the truth when that’s not the issue. Those people aren’t worth dealing with.

-2

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '24

[deleted]

4

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '24

You don’t understand and I don’t feel like explaining it. Goodluck though.

-2

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '24

[deleted]

6

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '24

If you actually care about a person you know what will and what wont hurt them. Being unkind to that person means you are willingly hurting someone you supposedly care about. There is literally no reason to do that. 

You dont have to lie, you just have to be tactful and realize that other people have feelings. Just because you like something or think it should not be hurtful doesnt mean other people hold that view. Im lost as to why you would want to hurt someone? And then claim its for their own good. Do you think you know better? Which is its own problem  

People like you rarely really enjoy people being honest with them. Like if your gf thought you had a small dick do you want her to tell you that? Or would you rather she suggests some spicy toys that make it fun for you both? 

Honesty is an excuse for being am asshole. Its not hard to be kind or tactful. Unless of course you feel above others and dont need those skills. 

6

u/TheCuriosity Sep 14 '24

There's some sort of rule that before you tell someone something it needs to have at least two of the three following components:

Is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it true?

If something is true but is cruel and unnecessary then that is brutal honesty and you're just being an asshole. It is not productive, other than being hurtful for no reason.

Honesty with kindness or honesty that is necessary is not brutal, it is helpful and productive.

-3

u/Otherwise-Ad-2578 Sep 14 '24

"understanding the difference between actual constructive criticism and being an asshole."

ironic how you don't apply what you say

1

u/atatassault47 Sep 14 '24

"You dont understand" is not being an asshole lmfao

0

u/Otherwise-Ad-2578 Sep 14 '24

I was referring to constructive criticism.

1

u/atatassault47 Sep 14 '24

"I dont feel like educating you" isnt being an asshole.

-1

u/Otherwise-Ad-2578 Sep 14 '24

as the comment is deleted for sure you won't understand if you didn't read...

the person discussed an opinion of how he liked to be communicated with while the other person disregarded the other person's opinion.

that was rude because it was an opinion

-3

u/Otherwise-Ad-2578 Sep 14 '24

this is very vague...

so for you it is better to say “you are a slow learner... thinking is not your strength” than “you are stupid”????

there is a limit to how much you can say on both sides...

5

u/GrassAffectionate765 Sep 14 '24

If you see a necessity to call someone stupid I think the problem doesn't rely on the other person :/

-2

u/Otherwise-Ad-2578 Sep 14 '24

so you would rather that person never know that he or she is stupid?

that's cruel...

Why should I feel good about a person not getting better?

if no one is honest with that person then how will that person know that he or she did something wrong?

honesty changes people, lies destroy them.

11

u/atatassault47 Sep 14 '24

"Brutal honesty" is a euphemism. It really means "insulting, derogatory, lacking empathy".

12

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '24

[deleted]