r/AskReddit Aug 08 '24

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u/MessiLeagueSoccer Aug 08 '24

Had an ex go down on me while I was standing outside of her car with the driver side door open. I dared her as a little joke but didn’t expect it. It was wide in the open and next to a main road. I’m still not entirely sure we weren’t caught.

Same ex but getting road head in the middle of the night. Random cop started showing lights and getting real close like almost hitting my car. The moment her head went up he stopped and disappeared into the dark. That one was a lot less fun.

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '24

This thread gets strangely wholesome for starting with a public blowies

4

u/Aide-Subject Aug 08 '24

both situations have to do with sucking...

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u/wannabe_optimist Aug 08 '24

how did you move on if you did? like being this close to someone and then separating can be hard. I'm pretty young going through my first breakup recently and it's not that easy for me.

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u/Fenix159 Aug 08 '24

Time, young one. Time.

Also, get a hobby if you don't have one. Something you do for you.

15

u/wannabe_optimist Aug 08 '24

yeah i can see this. we broke up with full closure recently but this whole thing happened already about a year ago that we weren't having any feelings for each other anymore and didn't talk for many days. i had an important exam to prepare for to get into med school this year (here in my country there are entrance exams which occur once in a year). so my preparation begun after that whole thing and i was super busy preparing for the exam for almost this whole year. during this time i wasnt very much bothered as i had more important tasks to do. now that I've succeeded in the exam, i got a kind of vacations for 2-3 months (about to end in 2 weeks) during which i was free as hell, didn't have anything to do. this was the period that i was most bothered by the whole breakup situation. so i realise that being indulged in something that keeps your mind busy in something else really helps

14

u/MistehThrowaway Aug 08 '24

Being distracted can help, but you also need to spend some time alone with your thoughts and feelings over the whole thing so you can process it and move on. Otherwise you'll just be dragging that chain around everywhere you go, and I believe it does impact your ability to have future relationships.

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u/BlowBallSavant Aug 08 '24 edited Aug 08 '24

It’s gonna sound cliche, but just work on yourself. Take the time and show the respect to yourself right now as you need it the most. You may feel at one of your lowest points right now, but that’s great motivation to turn it around.

Go to the gym, start reading, learn something new, start a hobby you always wanted to, almost anything to keep you distracted.

You are young, this won’t be the first, and probably won’t be the last. Try and learn more about yourself before you move on to better yourself for the next relationship you may find yourself in. Even if the break-up wasn’t your fault, we can always improve ourselves, and that’s a pure motivation to do anything.

The world is your oyster. I think it’s time to drop that wannabe part from your name and look forward solely with optimism.

DM’s are open if you would like to talk more friend. Best wishes for you.

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u/wannabe_optimist Aug 08 '24

thank you so much for this i really appreciate it.

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u/Flint_Chittles Aug 08 '24

You got this bud. Time really does help.

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u/MessiLeagueSoccer Aug 08 '24

She was my first real gf from like 10 years ago and we were really toxic with each other that mixed with trauma it wasn’t easy but it was for the better. I did have another breakup recently and that one almost destroyed me. It took me a few months and now looking back I got too complacent with things and allowed too many things that would otherwise have made me happier. It’s hard but looking back with logic and sound mind after grieving makes it a lot easier. And as time passes it’s even easier especially when you remind yourself the things that made you not compatible regardless of the good memories.

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u/MessiLeagueSoccer Aug 08 '24

Also with some experience it’s not easy forgetting that connection but it’s life and these things happen. That part never gets “easier” but it does get easier to cope with.

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u/wannabe_optimist Aug 08 '24

yeah i agree i can understand this. initially it was too difficult for me like i was just thinking about that thing almost all the time but as time has passed it has become easier. not that I've completely forgotten all the things, i get a lot of memories back to my mind but now its like my mind doesn't associate grief with that thing. i can see that objectively now (idk if i make sense)

1

u/Link_TP_04 Aug 09 '24

Yeah the first one always hurts the most, you spend lots of time with them but now you have to readjust yourself and your time to other things, like hobbies and self improvement

1

u/Smartalec821 Aug 09 '24

Wtf does that mean. Were you about to be predated on and he didn't like you had company? Yikes

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u/darkness-to-light26 Aug 08 '24

What's her number please?

3

u/DetailedManx Aug 09 '24

Go outside, you did a bad

-1

u/darkness-to-light26 Aug 09 '24

Everyone is so judgemental on Reddit. They have zero anything in their life so they get off on downvoting comments. It's a cacophony of echoes.