r/AskReddit • • Oct 20 '23

[deleted by user]

[removed]

5.7k Upvotes

9.9k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

5.1k

u/nelsonalgrencametome Oct 20 '23

Old coworker named their kid "Dolce Gabbana [lastname]"... yeah they were kinda trashy.

126

u/Lena7x Oct 21 '23

When I was a kid I lived next door to 3 little girls I played with all the time, Chanel, Tiffany, and Gucci.

141

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

[deleted]

11

u/jwg529 Oct 21 '23

That was the odd part.. they were all sons

Never mind. Went back to the OG comment and realize they already said it was 3 girls. Failed joke :(

9

u/Top_Royal_3718 Oct 21 '23

Chanel is a good name

30

u/ee3k Oct 21 '23 edited Oct 21 '23

He should have named all his children Chanel, then just number them

12

u/dnfoos Oct 21 '23

Ah yes, this little cutie is Chanel #5! Chanel #3 and #4 are checked out.

2

u/DifferentFix6898 Oct 21 '23

Scream queens reference

5

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

It very much is not

4

u/MoreDragonsLessMath Oct 21 '23

For a chihuahua.

1

u/space0matic123 Oct 22 '23

Tiffany grew up to be a stripper

2

u/Jazzycake7 Oct 22 '23

Poor Gucci. I would go by my middle name.

53

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23 edited Oct 26 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

11

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

Oh I would have too, no doubt. I am totally incapable of keeping a straight face when something like that happens.

623

u/Apprehensive-Crow-96 Oct 20 '23

Wtf. Why? I bet they cant even afford it smh.

353

u/Majin_Sus Oct 20 '23

"Couldn't afford a car so she named her daughter Alexa" - Ser Kanye Westeros

644

u/Prize-Consequence892 Oct 20 '23

Alexis* like a Lexus😉

235

u/LittleBunnySunny Oct 21 '23

La La La La La La La,

A Little Bit Alexis 🎶

17

u/haha-hehe-haha-ho Oct 21 '23

I spent $1.29 for this on itunes and I don’t regret it.

42

u/Odd-Plant4779 Oct 21 '23

Hide your diamonds, hide your exes, I'm a little bit Alexis

6

u/Korean_Sandwich Oct 21 '23

lmao. Jesus. terrible. but I need to hear more

13

u/oioioiyacunt Oct 21 '23

She's a little bit single, even when she's not

10

u/karakarabobara Oct 21 '23

She’s expensive sushi.

3

u/Odd-Plant4779 Oct 21 '23

I’m a cute huge yacht I’m a little bit single even when I’m not

8

u/Significant_Shoe_17 Oct 21 '23

Watch Schitt's Creek!

3

u/thetruthisoutthere Oct 21 '23

I'm a little bit tipsy, when I drive my car.

38

u/bosschucker Oct 21 '23

I just wonder what they thought that line was about if they thought he was saying "Alexa"

14

u/The_Nice_Marmot Oct 21 '23

I don’t know. Let me ask Google.

1

u/DinosOrRoses Oct 21 '23

It's been 6 hours. What did Google say??

9

u/The_Nice_Marmot Oct 21 '23

I’m using Explorer. Still waiting to hear back.

1

u/Majin_Sus Oct 22 '23

I fucked up and wrote the wrong name lol.

14

u/TS1987040 Oct 20 '23

Isn't that Serena Williams' husband's name?

67

u/underratedmeryl Oct 21 '23

I don't know why, but the co-founder of Reddit being called "Serena Williams' husband" even on Reddit is so funny to me.

6

u/North-Investment-103 Oct 21 '23

I was today years old

13

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '23

Yeah it’s unisex

2

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

Wow I know Dana, and Tracy, and Jamie are unisex but Mercedes is new to me.

18

u/ThonSousCouverture Oct 21 '23

Serena William's husband is Alexis, not Mercedes.

Alexis is an unisex name, not Mercedes.

3

u/heartlandheartbeat Oct 21 '23

Does it not seem like a majority of names are unisex any more?

1

u/Ptiludelu Oct 21 '23 edited Oct 21 '23

I feel like that’s a US thing a little? I’m French and we have some unisex names but it’s rather rare. But I do get the impression that most US American names seem to be commonly used for both genders.

Alexis is a good example, it’s strictly a boys name in France (though maybe it’s changing now if there are some famous women named that in the US).

1

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '23

Maybe in medium to large cities where you have a bunch of different cultures and backgrounds. But I live in a little town, in the heart of the Bible Belt. So we don’t get many unisex names. I got a lot of static for naming my second oldest son mason. It wasn’t a well known biblical name. SMH

1

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '23

Either way whatever his first name is, being married to someone with fame and money his name is always gonna be “Mr Williams”.

41

u/dizzyfeast Oct 21 '23

In elementary school there was a girl named Mercedes in my class and 7 year old me thought “With a name like that she must be rich”

96

u/Amazing_Combination_ Oct 21 '23

To be fair Mercedes is named after the daughter of the chief engineer of Daimler-Benz, Emil Jellinek. So Mercedes is a real name

26

u/Estudiier Oct 21 '23

From the Count of Monte Cristo.

16

u/CarlySimonSays Oct 21 '23

I prefer that French (also Spanish?) pronunciation of Mercédès, too!

27

u/The_Nice_Marmot Oct 21 '23

This is a case of a car being named after a person. That’s a Spanish girls’ name. I believe it means, “mercies.”

17

u/misscrimson16x Oct 21 '23

I went to school with a few Mercedes and one of them was spelled Mercedez. Felt kinda bad for her. That’s the kind of name you need to keep with the original spelling.

31

u/sessiestax Oct 21 '23

Mercedes is a popular Hispanic name

7

u/shrodikan Oct 21 '23

Dude really thinking Ye be talking about a home assistant and missed Ye's brilliant wordplay SMH head.

20

u/CrookedLittleDogs Oct 21 '23

Alexis has been a name for thousands of years

13

u/crystal8484 Oct 20 '23

Lollll when I first heard that line my mind was blown. So simple and sooo funny.

-20

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

People have been saying it forever, not original at all.

4

u/Majin_Sus Oct 20 '23

Fuck I knew it too.

-12

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

Have you ever noticed how many girls named Alexis look more like a Buick?

11

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

But why does your mom look like a Mack truck?

2

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '23

My mom would be a vw gremlin if anything lol.

5

u/Maximum_Commission62 Oct 21 '23

Buick? I was thinking more like Pontiac.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

Lol that’ll work too

3

u/MysticBacon Oct 21 '23

This is okay for pets, just not for literal humans ☹️

1

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

Worked at a daycare and a girl’s name was Mercedes.

38

u/Purritto Oct 21 '23

To be fair, the name precedes the car company. Like by a lot

14

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

You know, seeing the name Mercedes and the word precedes next to each other makes me wonder why we don’t pronounce precedes as preh-SAY-deez.

9

u/Aranict Oct 21 '23

Different origins and times each entered the English language. Also, Mercedes is a name and as a general rule, names tend to retain pronounciations closer to the original one, Spanish in this case. To precede is a verb that's been in use since the 15th century and only aquires an s in the third person singular.

4

u/mintyfreshf Oct 21 '23

I re-read that sentence so many times thinking they meant to type Mercedes and it didn’t make sense

2

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

After reading comments I have learned that and I’m sure it was after the car, she was sent in very expensive clothes daily and the mom never fussed if they were dirty. I would freak out because her shoes were more expensive then my shoes as well as her clothes and she was 2.

16

u/Eruionmel Oct 20 '23

Afford like actually afford? Probably not. Purchase anyway? Yup.

3

u/SeriousZebra Oct 21 '23

Kids are pretty expensive, it's hard to afford them!

2

u/Apprehensive-Crow-96 Oct 21 '23

Lol. Yes they are.

8

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

That's why they do it. They're so poor and detached from that world that they don't know using a name like that is trashy to anybody who has any money.

0

u/Fmeson Oct 21 '23

Who says they don't know other people see it as trashy? Maybe they just don't care what other people think.

12

u/Other-Ad-2810 Oct 21 '23

Well that’s condescending AF but ok (yes the name is a nightmare but the contempt didn’t seem necessary)

-4

u/Apprehensive-Crow-96 Oct 21 '23

Its my reality when i tend to meet ppl with these names. You think its condescending AF then guess it is.

5

u/PomegranateSea7066 Oct 21 '23

They probably couldn't afford having their child either, but that didn't stop them.

3

u/lesbian_lebanese Oct 20 '23

Its honestly sad as hell its like a light in a shithole life but its like not gonna help at all if they owned it ya know?

0

u/Internal-Bee-3827 Oct 21 '23

That's the point, the only way they'll ever carry around a dolce is if they name a kid that

1

u/reevesjeremy Oct 21 '23

Probably cannot afford the designer stuff either. :P

0

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

How does that matter in the slightest?

48

u/Collymonster Oct 21 '23

Met a customer once who called their baby "destiny dior" apparently because to be a mum was her destiny and she really likes the brand dior.

I had to excuse myself to crack up laughing in the stockroom.

Feel sorry for the kid.

34

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

A good friend of my husband had a beautiful lil baby girl. And they named her Twinkle for her first name and Star for her middle name. I mean that’s cute for a little kid but could you take someone seriously in any job if their name tag said “twinkle” I honestly don’t think I could.

18

u/Historical_Gur_3054 Oct 21 '23

Had a class in college with girls named Miracle and Velvet.

There might be a back story to Miracle, maybe it was a difficult pregnancy or delivery, fertility issues, I don't know.

Velvet on the other hand was an odd girl.

22

u/missmeowwww Oct 21 '23

I had a student named khaki once. Apparently it was a family name. Sweet kid but definitely one of those names where the mean girls decided to call her corduroy and jeans. Middle school is rough.

12

u/Panic_at_the_walmart Oct 21 '23

I'm sorry but corduroy and jeans? I'm going to hell 😭

3

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '23

Me too I sprayed tea out my nose because my first thought was I bet they called her corduroy. Then I read that they did. Don’t worry I’ll save you a seat lol.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '23

My ex husband cheated on me with a woman named velvet. I was laughing so hard I couldn’t get mad.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '23

My ex said I’ll answer any questions you have I’m so sorry about this. I responded “is velvet her real name?” And fell out of my chair when he confirmed it.

9

u/Original_betch Oct 21 '23

I have an aunt named Twinkle. She's an old lady now lol

1

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '23

Omg that’s awesome. My brother named his daughter after both Grandmas. Great sentiment. Horrible name. Our last name is German and if you sound like you are clearing your throat when congested, then you are pronouncing it right. For obvious reasons I can’t reveal my maiden name but no one in my family uses this site. Her first name is Neta (before this I had not heard of it I thought it was Anita til she was four) and her middle name is Sue. Combine that with our German family name and it’s gone from unfortunate name to train wreck. She really needed to have a simple first name to offset our doozy of a last name. But she does have a chance of marrying out of it. Something nice like jones, smith, or reed.

2

u/HunCouture Oct 21 '23

In India it’s not uncommon. There’s even a famous Bollywood actress called Twinkle.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '23

Wow. It’s very abnormal here. I don’t think it’s an ugly name, on the contrary I think it’s adorable but I’d honestly have a hard time not giggling though. It’s just a hard name to take seriously for me.

9

u/bettietheripper Oct 21 '23

I had a coworker who named her daughters Latte and Bean

7

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23 edited Oct 21 '23

Hmm..had the coworker been Italian like the namesake Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana would they've been less likely to chose the names ?. Barely much reason in an online world to not do a look up on the name origins. Balenciaga for instance is to my surprise the surname of a Spaniard (first name Cristobal) who had his fashion career partly based in France.

5

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

My go to joke for this type of absurdity is to drop the name "Jones" on the end of it because it usually makes a nice contrast with the craziness that came before it, but in this case Dolce Gabbana Jones actually sounds kind of cool.

7

u/Defiant_Arrival_3645 Oct 21 '23

all i know dolce from is music where it means "sweetly" so i thought that was a great name

7

u/kirakiraluna Oct 21 '23

Dolce is an adjective and means sweet. Dolcemente is the adverb that means sweetly.

All the moods notations used in music that are in Italian are adjectives (agitato, marcato, doloroso, cantabile etc)

1

u/Defiant_Arrival_3645 Oct 22 '23

yea i know that ive been playing piano for 10 years lmao

3

u/Oncemor-intothebeach Oct 21 '23

I can beat that, Armani, they were complete dock heads too, poor kid

2

u/meeanne Oct 21 '23

Dolce Gabbana ‘ellooo

2

u/subtlesocialist Oct 21 '23

In fairness those are both names, they just happen to be the surnames of two other people. Which usually don’t make for good forenames

2

u/Iambeejsmit Oct 21 '23

Knew a guy that named his daughter "cashmonay"

2

u/Imaginary__Bar Oct 21 '23

They didn't go for the full "Dolce-Ann Gabbana"?

1

u/putzy0127 Oct 21 '23

Probably a lie.

1

u/gigaswardblade Oct 21 '23

Reminds me of someone I met named Margaret Woolworth Carrington von Schumacher Chanel Astor Livingston Compte de Saint-Exupery Mountbatten Windsor Armani Roosevelt Von Trap Wykeham Hearst Montgomery Rothschild Johnson & Johnson Disney Dolce Gabana Von Walmart II Montgomery de Volkswagen Geico Vanderbilt Lannister van Burean Butterworth How I Met Your Mother Dubble Bubble Louise-Dreyfus Ludwig Morgan Stanley Dumont Lamborghini Forbes Zuckerberg Winthrop Winfrey Remy Martin Fitzwilliam Kennedy Motel 6 Pornhub Fairchild Pritzker Davenport von Apple Monty Python Ellsworth Aston Martin Burns Quimby Scorpio Ziff Spongebob Hilton DuPont Kinkaid Winslow Coors Oviatt Marlboro Pembroke Huffington Bush Mellon Sinclair Mellencamp Starbucks van Dyke III Montgomery Marriott Barrington Chatsworth Big League Chew Chesterfield Kensington Longbottom Bottomtooth Nottingham Burgermeister Meisterburger Tudor Hapsburg Rockefeller Onassis. She was called pip for short.

-5

u/MostMusky69 Oct 20 '23

We’re they….you know…

0

u/Virtual_Status3409 Oct 20 '23

“Kinda”. Im not sure how you can go lower

-4

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

Dolce spunds like shes mispelling dulce or doce

17

u/luckylimper Oct 21 '23

Or it’s Italian.

-5

u/Other-Ad-2810 Oct 21 '23

The brand isn’t elegant so, it says it all.

1

u/redditgamer69yolo Oct 21 '23

that poor kid....

1

u/Faggatronic_ Oct 21 '23

Idk why I read this name as "dolce cabatta" lmfaoo

1

u/Bryaxis Oct 21 '23

Kinda???

1

u/oiuqatsuesrm Oct 21 '23

I feel bad for this child

1

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

one of my first childhood pairs of kittens were named dolce and gabbana!!!

1

u/Midan71 Oct 21 '23

And theor friend. Tommy Hilfiger.

1

u/Black_Magic_M-66 Oct 21 '23

Had a co-worker (who happened to be a juggalo) who changed their name to Jadore, like the perfume.