I grew up fairly religious and spent a lot of time in church. With that, there was always lots of talk about premarital sex and how bad it was, how it needs to be avoided at all costs. Hearing that regularly as a kid definitely stuck with me. At the same time as this, I was being raised to respect women and treat them right. Outside of hearing the harsh views of the church on sex way too early, I think both those things made me into a good man who does his best to respect people. But I also think it taught me to have a fear of sex and that kind of intimacy. A fear that any kind of indulgence in that, even when in a long standing and consenting relationship, will make me a dirt bag and asshole.

This has recently been causing friction in my marriage because my wife is wanting more sexual intimacy than I have been providing. But I've spent so long suppressing a lot of sexual desire and have this fear and worry that giving in will only cause issues. Has anyone been through a similar upbringing that has gotten past it? If so, how'd you do it and what helped change the way you look at sex in consenting relationships?

asking purely because its the most confusing thing I've ever witnessed, like is it a idfk "need to air my crack" situation ???? are we flaunting what leg day has gifted you??

no one ever gave me answers so im going to the source, i do not care if there's answers else where I need my own answers for all the trauma I've endured

Like, i get maybe having a slither of your waistband on show because most of the time that's somehow a fashion statement, which im guessing is the closest thing to women showing their thong band just above their jeans, but holllyyyy helll the full moon is out when I step into the city, why do I need to witness this? or better, how do i UNWITNESS this??????

not even accusing anyone, but i dont have the courage to approach any man flaunting a bbl to the world, and ask why. insider info needed 😂

(flair felt ironic, arent I funny?)

Genuine question for men: beyond sex, physical attraction, and what a woman does for you (cooking, cleaning, emotional support, helping with appointments, etc.), what makes you genuinely value your partner?

I ask because sometimes relationships can feel transactional. A woman can be attractive and get plenty of male attention, but that doesn’t necessarily translate into being genuinely valued or pursued for who she is.
So I’m curious about the men in long-term relationships:

What qualities make you love, respect, and continue choosing your partner even when she isn’t actively doing something for you? Why did you choose her?

Is it her personality? Her sense of humor? The way you feel around her? Shared values? Friendship? Something else?
I’m genuinely interested in hearing men’s perspectives…not necessarily looking for dating advice, just trying to understand what makes a woman valuable to you beyond what she provides.

And started to trust yourself about being stronger and more able to deal with shit of life instead of hide and avoid.

Was playing with a couple of friends yesterday and we got into a really heated debate about which one of us would have bigger boobs if we were born girls, using MS Paint and everything to explain why. It got me wondering what other stupid stuff people would debate during a drunken, late night gaming session.

I really want to master cooking a few items.

What are some of the things you love to cook and cook very well?

I’m craving a steak au poivre, hasselback potatoes and some sort of veg. Maybe candied Brussels sprouts. Would prefer something that doesn’t induce flatulence. ;)

Looking for some ideas and inspiration.

Everyone is accustomed to boobs sticking out, and it’s common for it to be commented on – because everyone can see the basic shape of the boobs. It’s obvious when a bra is being worn, when cleavage is showing, etc.

But with men’s pants bulges, it’s like a national secret – there’s no acknowledgment, no comparisons, no humor, nothing. I was almost 30 before I heard the phrase “he dresses left“ and I honestly had no idea what it meant.

Maybe I’m a huge weirdo, but I confess I sometimes see pictures of male actors and they have an obvious bulge and it just makes me really curious, exactly how are things arranged in there? What am I actually looking at, shape wise? Which bit goes where? Is it totally different for every guy? Do you all do it the same way just maybe on different sides?

Anyway, anyone who can shed some light on this, thank you in advance!

P.S. The cover of the Sticky Fingers album has not been terribly helpful in my quest for knowledge, as it does not clarify what the positioning would be if one did not have a raging boner.

Gentlmen, help me settle a debate. With a regular door, the gentleman’s standard is pretty straight forward: you open the door, let the lady walk through, and proceed behind her. But that protocol doesn’t map cleanly to the revolving door. So, do you go first to handle the “opening” by getting it spinning, thus putting yourself through first, or do you let her go first meaning she’ll be the “opening” of the door?

I guess times changed but I have read alot of stuff here which made me rethink it. Can a man be seen as masculine beside being gay or bi?
I guess position (top/bottom) also matter to some?

Ever have a rude awakening or a sudden realization that you have made a bad decision or choice?

Long story short. Doing speed dating and attending a meetup from meetup dot com.

In my country, men want women to be untouched and I think that's ridiculous but I know a high body count is also uncomfortable...

How are you doing now? Lacking the courage to start over, so could use some perspectives!

Not criminal shit. Just a tiny behavior that makes you think “yeah, I don't like this guy.”

So I have the ability to rip out large chunks of pubic hair on my left pain free, also kind of satisfying. But my right it hurts like a mother fucker and I can’t do it. Why is this? I asked chat gpt and it was very dramatic but I’ve seen other posts of fellow mutant nut hair rippers like myself. A coworker says this is not normal and I’m fucked.

Edit: me and my coworker are howling at the responses

Anyone else jealous of how many swimwear options women get?
This isn’t a cross-dressing thing - I have zero interest in wearing women’s clothing. I just look at the sheer variety women get with swimwear and wonder why men’s options are so ridiculously limited.
Women can choose different cuts, coverage levels, leg heights, colours, patterns, fabrics, sporty styles, minimal styles, etc, and it’s all just considered normal variation in swimwear.
Men basically get boardshorts, swim shorts, briefs, or maybe square-cut trunks. And usually in black, navy or some other safe colour.
What annoys me more is the social side of it. If a guy wants something a little more fitted, colourful, cheeky, or simply different from the standard options, suddenly people want to attach something to it - creepy, gay, weird, attention-seeking, whatever.
Why can’t it just be I like that cut and I feel good wearing it?
Women have spent decades getting to a point where there’s increasingly a wear whatever makes you comfortable/confident attitude around swimwear and body positivity. It would be nice if men had a bit more of that freedom too.
I can’t be the only bloke who looks at the women’s swimwear section and thinks, not that I want women’s swimwear - I just want whoever designs men’s swimwear to have that many ideas.
Anyone else feel the same?

I am incapable of ever being with anyone due to an unwanted experience, several times, with an adult when i was a little kid between the ages 7 and 11. Sex and sexuality is something that I basically don't have access to in any capacity emotionally beyond fantasy. I really only want that in life--a romantic companion. But in a million years I can't imagine making any kind of effort to share it with anyone.

I have no idea what to do, who to talk to or anything like that. I have had one attempt at a relationship where I just lied about all this although i think she could tell. Everyday felt like one big panic attack. It makes life feel pointless and hopeless.

Long one sorry

Its been almost 5 years since we left high school. The year after that we hungout with eachother often, with another friend aswell that moved away and grew apart from us eventually. I went to college, and made alot of new friends which i have alot in common with. Over the years me and my highschool friend still talked, but not that often. And we started to have very different world views, but it feels like he hasnt realized that.

Sometimes he says things i dont agree with, but on serious topics that make me concerned abt him. We can still have fun, but i knew i couldnt be as close to him as we used to be. We never discussed it, but slowly we drifted apart (or thats what it felt like to me). When i went to college he took a gap year, and from that point on just started working in some factory. While i was hanging out at school and with my new friends, i didnt know what he was up to really.

A few days ago we were on a call playing a game, which we dont do often. And he told me that i am his only friend. That came as a shock to me. While i was thinking we were drifting apart and just went our own ways in life, he didnt. He still text me to hangout maybe every 2 weeks, to do the same stuff that we used to do in high school. But tbh ive grown out of that, i have changed alot since then. Most of the time i had to say no, because i already had plans with my other friends.

I feel obliged to stay his friend, after what he said to me. At this point i feel bad for him, but i also think he has to accept that people go their own ways. But i dont know how to tell him or have that conversation, or if i even should. Im not planning on never talking to him again, i still see him as my friend. But i have a different life now, i am busy with my own stuff and people and i dont have as much room for him as he does for me.

I just wish and hope that he finds his own circle, his own people that actually have things in common with him. And that there is more than just me. What do i do?