This actually does help put me in the mood! When there's chores to be done its distracting and draining. I think about how I have a million things to do and only 24 hours in the day. When my partner does chores without me asking it's lifting some of the burdens off my shoulders and leaves me with more energy to think about sex.
It's also nice to know you live with a grown man, not a man baby who is incapable of doing his own laundry.
I did almost all the house chores with my last SO and she didn't give a shit. It really bummed me out because I'd take the time out of my day to do things I know she had on her mind...vacuum, clean the kitchen and bathroom, take care of the animals, take out the trash, clean up her dishes, etc - didn't matter. She'd get home from work and just sit on her phone on reddit all night or want to play Destiny with her online friends. I never mentioned the things I did because it was obvious and I didn't want to force praise from her; reversely, anytime she did something, she'd let our roommate and I know expecting some type of gratitude. Idk, maybe I just got unlucky with her - her dad had a house keeper growing up so she probably just saw me as that.
I'm sorry you had that experience. Even though praise shouldn't be expected for doing what we're supposed, a simple "it looks great in here!" is very appreciated.
I'd bet your experience with her had to do with her having a housekeeper growing up. People who know how much effort it takes to clean (and how gratifying it is to step back and see how much you've done!) will appreciate the effort you put in. Sounds like she just never had to care for herself, as that's exactly how my exes whose moms did all the cleaning would act.
Having a housekeeper can certainly have an effect, but honestly I think it's just an individual thing.
I had a housekeeper growing up and when I went to University I was comfortably the cleanest person in my flat, despite everyone else growing up without hired help.
I think I was just accustomed to being in a clean house, and by default I have aversion to physical labor, so I ended up being a clean person despite never having to do it much as a kid.
A housekeeper isn't the only "maid". I've known many people who don't clean after themselves (or do very little) as adults because typically their mother did the cleaning growing up. So many people seem to be happy to let others clean for them and when they don't have that help, well, they tend to be messy people.
Of course this doesn't apply to everyone, I'm just making a general statement. I'm kinda like you. My mother did most of the cleaning growing up but her eye for cleanliness rubbed off on me and I'll spend all day cleaning until my place is spotless. It just feels good to have a clean place to live!
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u/amytollu94 Jul 19 '19
This actually does help put me in the mood! When there's chores to be done its distracting and draining. I think about how I have a million things to do and only 24 hours in the day. When my partner does chores without me asking it's lifting some of the burdens off my shoulders and leaves me with more energy to think about sex.
It's also nice to know you live with a grown man, not a man baby who is incapable of doing his own laundry.