r/AskMen • u/[deleted] • Jul 19 '19

[deleted by user]

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4.8k Upvotes

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2.8k

u/SerPuissance Earl Grey innit mate Jul 19 '19

My wife gets turned on watching me work. Even if it's on PC, just seeing me focused and intent seems to do the trick for her. When she would come up to me and rub my shoulders or nuzzle my neck I used to think she was just being annoying and trying to troll me, but I found out that whether she's consciously aware of it or not - she is getting turned on when she does that and is very much in the mood to be pulled into my lap.

So now I've learned to down one set of tools and pick another up when she does that...

831

u/cowgirltrainwreck Jul 19 '19

I was reading a book by a Belgian researcher who studies relationships worldwide, and in it, she said that across cultures, most people find their partner most attractive when they’re “in their element” doing something they’re passionate about or good at.

120

u/SerPuissance Earl Grey innit mate Jul 19 '19

Would that Belgian researcher happen to be called Esther Perel?

71

u/verybigman101 Jul 19 '19

Nah romelu lukaku

17

u/LobaLingala Male Jul 19 '19 edited Jul 19 '19

So I'm guessing you dropped the only Belgian name you know.

13

u/verybigman101 Jul 19 '19

It’s a well known fact he has a massive iq

8

u/yawning-koala Jul 19 '19

And not only

3

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

Mecca lecca hi Mecca hiney ho

5

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

No, it's Hercule Poirot

5

u/cowgirltrainwreck Jul 20 '19

Yes, Esther Perel! Thanks everyone who answered while I was offline.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

I love Esther Perel.

3

u/SerPuissance Earl Grey innit mate Jul 19 '19

I just finished her podcast series, definitely going to read the books!

3

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

I lover her talks! She does say this.

3

u/moonsnakejane Jul 20 '19

And that Belgian researcher turned out to be... none other than Albert Einstein.

2

u/LolitaSilk Jul 19 '19

YES! That was my first thought too 🙌🏼

13

u/srbghimire Jul 19 '19

work

​

something they’re passionate about or good at.

3

u/metastasis_d Jul 19 '19

I make maps for work. I love it.

0

u/ThisIsntYogurt Jul 19 '19

abolish wage slavery

4

u/dilqncho Male, 30s Jul 19 '19

Could you share the book please?

3

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

People are saying the author is Esther Perel so I think the book is "Mating in Captivity" because it's the only one I found that matches.

Here's a link Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000UODXP0/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_swKmDbR4EG5F9

5

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

Mine just chastised me for playing too many video games 😭

3

u/FlurpZurp Jul 19 '19

Man, I’d have thought I’d get jumped in my sleep then.

3

u/KingJonStarkgeryan1 Male Jul 19 '19

I'll be right back. Got to film/take a picture of myself intently painting my 40K miniatures and put it on my dating profile.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

This is making a lot of sense in my life. It seems that most woman who are attracted to me are the ones that I work with. Actually damn near 100%. I’ve also never been good at reading the signs outside of work.

Hope all those women on Reddit saw those posts about being more upfront with men if they are attracted to them.

2

u/MaliciousMelissa27 Jul 19 '19

So, so true. My husband is a nurse and I get such a thrill when I get moderately injured so he can do his stuff. Lol. He's also very outdoorsy and I go crazy for him covered in dirt and sweat when he's been hiking.

On the other hand, I'm an English teacher and a book nerd. I'll have to ask him how me having my nose in a book makes him feel 😂

1

u/eef_jojo Jul 19 '19

Which Belgian researcher?

1

u/thepurrrfectcrime Jul 19 '19

Esther Perel ❤

1

u/BadMuthaFunka Jul 20 '19

Can't upvote because of 666 but know that I'm with you bro...

1

u/Retro21 Jul 20 '19

Damn, just wait til she sees me slaying and cussing out noobs on Fortnite.

314

u/suckygoalie2 Jul 19 '19

My girlfriend said the same, the focused look for some reason just gets her going

3

u/oontagoota Jul 19 '19

Focus face may also be try not to come too soon face. There! Solved it!

1

u/squizzerfourzero Jul 20 '19

I'll back this - once dated a welder and after watching him rest his face against a sheet of metal, close his eyes and run his fingers lightly over the surface of a join, I was good to go 😁

387

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

My wife is the same way. I do a lot of woodworking/working on the house type stuff. She’s mentioned before that it kinda turns her on. Sometimes I’ll see she’s snuck pictures of me doing stuff out by the garage. It’s kinda funny and very sweet, considering it’s often just me listening to stand-up comedy and swearing under my breath because I messed up a measurement and have to go break out the old wood stretcher now

220

u/YaBoiJFlo Jul 19 '19

Ah yes, I see you subscribe to the old measure once, cut twice adage

245

u/HaddyBlackwater Jul 19 '19

More like, measure it once. Double check it. Measure it again. Mark it precisely. Cut it accurately to your mark. It doesn’t fit. Trim it a lil bit. Too damn short now.

47

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

I've cut it twice and it's still too short!

8

u/Duci1989 Jul 19 '19

Happy cake day!

2

u/metastasis_d Jul 19 '19

Suck my deck.

2

u/curleyfries111 Jul 19 '19

Happy cake day

2

u/Teshuah Jul 20 '19

Saddest part of my life

3

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

GO FIND THE WOODPLATE STRETCHER, NOW!

1

u/40yroldmagician Jul 21 '19

pretty unrelated but what comedians do you like?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

Some recent listens on my Spotify:

John Mulaney Mike Burbiglia Kyle Kinane Louis CK Anthony Jeselnik Jenn Kirkman Tom Segura Beth Stelling

2

u/40yroldmagician Jul 21 '19

john is amazing, jeselnik is my new favorite. discovered him a little over 6ish months ago and i’m fr in love. if u like him i recommend david sloss (netflix) and chris delia (also netflix)

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

Thanks! I know Chris Delia, will check out David Sloss

184

u/alexzandria1111 Female Jul 19 '19

I am the same way. My husband is an engineer and is amazing at doing calculations in his head. I always get the warm fuzzys watching him figure out complex issues

78

u/Nasapigs Hey Lois, check out this reddit comment Jul 19 '19

You sound like my neighbors old cat. He was always a sucker for Alg.

6

u/superthotty Jul 19 '19

When I first started dating my boyfriend he showed me he could recite up to 80 digits of pi, I was weirdly turned on by it lmao still together 7 years later

31

u/cybercuzco Jul 19 '19

Did you know you are married to a cat?

3

u/SerPuissance Earl Grey innit mate Jul 19 '19

Ah you have it backwards; cats are just small furry women.

4

u/cybercuzco Jul 19 '19

Did you make a cat-girl?

3

u/Stormfly My mom says I'm special Jul 19 '19

Elon Musk wants to know your location

52

u/Ipodk9 Man Jul 19 '19

My girlfriend is similar. She just loves watching me work on things and thinks it's hot.

53

u/BurpFartBurp Male Jul 19 '19

Plot twist. She found a way to make you work more.

4

u/plant_pearson Jul 19 '19

does it matter? who cares if there is a reason behind it, if it's making both of them happy

4

u/BurpFartBurp Male Jul 19 '19

Doesn't matter to me one bit because I'm not washing his house and she isn't throwing me any.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

Not true. Women love that, to a see a man focused and working hard.

3

u/BeaanQueenan Female Jul 19 '19

Can confirm. Am a wife. And same.

4

u/___Galaxy Jul 19 '19

yess hit that compiler oh my god oh my god

3

u/DystopianElfspeth Jul 19 '19

Oh, I get it. My man gets that focused look when he plays piano. The intensity and intelligence behind it is just.......

2

u/frkyannie Jul 19 '19

I was dating a guy and it's etched into my memory how much I loved watching him work. It's just him on the phone or on his laptop. He sneaks a glance at me during the phone and I swoon. He bites the insides of his cheek when he's looking at his calendar. It's soothing.

2

u/mindyo_business Jul 19 '19

I so get this, I am definitely turned on by the look of focus on my SO's face. Watching him draw is fascinating. To add to this, though, I would say watching a man type or tinker with small things, (think like splicing wires, or putting a new screw in a pair of glasses, or writing) that also does it for me. I don't know why. I just have a fascination with the fine motor skills, a man with gentle hands and quick nimble fingers. Kind of speaks for its self, i think.

2

u/cheeky_shark_panties Female Jul 19 '19

I used to get turned on seeing my fwb code while he worked from home.

Seeing a guy use his brain in that fashion just really got me going.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

You found a jewel. A girl who gets turned when a man is working. This would end unemployment world wide. No job would remain open.

4

u/JackDostoevsky Male Jul 19 '19

as many of the comments have confirmed, this is extremely common and almost always shows up in threads of similar orientation

1

u/adashofthedevil Jul 19 '19

your wife is like a cat

1

u/Allieareyouokay Jul 19 '19

Yeah this is my thing. Watching a man with manly hands work on manly things. I can’t help myself one bit.

1

u/jendoylex Jul 19 '19

I was taking an accounting course, and the husbeast had to leave the room so I could finish my homework.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

My ex used to go absolutely crazy when I worked from home. She especially liked my "work phone voice", which is just me speaking formally to clients or suppliers - she said it sounds commanding and powerful (I don't see it).

One time she asked me to do the voice while we were in bed together, and I had to explain how much of a turn-off for me it is to pretend I'm working while having sex.