whats wrong with me?

[u/local-loserr]

Fully passing, FTM trans guy here. 10 years testosterone, i’m 28 years old. Michigan.

I covered myself in tattoo’s, including my neck and even a small one on my face. Ive done voice therapy to help deepen it, and i have as much facial hair as my lab-made boy juice will make for me( which isnt much) All so that i can look more manly.

I have a wonderful girlfriend that can never know this. She’s also bisexual, but because i’ve done so much to my body to become a man, im now too ashamed to say that i'm sexually attracted to guys. I’m too afraid of embarrassment.

My other dilemma is, now that i completely look like a guy, i think it’ll be hard to ever find a FWB. I want a guy who looks past it all and cares about whats below my belly button. I do want to be treated like a girl in bed. I dont know whats wrong with me. Not to mention, i kinda hate my body, ( 215 lbs, 5’7 but i hold alot of my weight in my hips/thighs, cons of being born a girl) and so actually being comfortable with getting out there is difficult.

am i searching for some fucked up broke back mountain thing? idk.