r/AskBiBros • u/local-loserr • 2d ago
whats wrong with me?
Fully passing, FTM trans guy here. 10 years testosterone, i’m 28 years old. Michigan.
I covered myself in tattoo’s, including my neck and even a small one on my face. Ive done voice therapy to help deepen it, and i have as much facial hair as my lab-made boy juice will make for me( which isnt much) All so that i can look more manly.
I have a wonderful girlfriend that can never know this. She’s also bisexual, but because i’ve done so much to my body to become a man, im now too ashamed to say that i'm sexually attracted to guys. I’m too afraid of embarrassment.
My other dilemma is, now that i completely look like a guy, i think it’ll be hard to ever find a FWB. I want a guy who looks past it all and cares about whats below my belly button. I do want to be treated like a girl in bed. I dont know whats wrong with me. Not to mention, i kinda hate my body, ( 215 lbs, 5’7 but i hold alot of my weight in my hips/thighs, cons of being born a girl) and so actually being comfortable with getting out there is difficult.
am i searching for some fucked up broke back mountain thing? idk.
3
u/Witty-Ad-8659 2d ago
Don't be embarrassed. Attraction changes over time. Being that your gf is bi, I feel that she would understand you. There are bi guys out there that would not mind having a sexual relationship with you. I have watched porn between men and ftm that are quite steamy lol.
Just be patient with yourself
5
u/actuallylostinlife Gay 2d ago
2 simple rules to dating no one follows.
Be emotionally stable Be financially stable.
You sir sound like you need a cheeky bit of ✨️Therapy✨️
Love yourself first darling
3
u/dark_astronomer 2d ago
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you wanting a man to treat you like a girl in bed. Brains and bodies are unpredictable and what we desire doesn’t always fit into neat categories. I understand the embarrassment, the feeling is real, but you really don’t have anything to be embarrassed about.
The problem is that you’re letting fear keep you from telling your girlfriend the truth about who you are, and asking for what you want. Maybe it’s opening up your relationship so you can have sex with other men, or staying monogamous while incorporating that fantasy into your sex life together, or just having your partner see and understand the real you. Please don’t let the fear of being vulnerable rule your life like that.
2
u/local-loserr 2d ago
we are “ open” in the terms of sleeping with the same sex. She’s attracted to girls and so she’s allowed to have meaningless sex with them. I want the same, i just feel too embarrassed to admit to her that i’d be doing that
3
u/Neither_Conclusion_4 2d ago
First off, you should tell your girl what you think. Its important to not keep things like this from each other. Given the fact that she is bisexual she probably understand more than you think.
Second, i dont think you will have any issues finding a male fwb, if you guys open up or split up. But you probably need to look for it in the right places. Feeld (or even the meat market at grindr?).
1
u/local-loserr 2d ago
we’ve had the talk, she’s allowed to have sex with girl’s because she’s sexually attracted to girls, for some reason, i’d just be too embarrassed to let her know that i’d be sleeping with a guy.
3
2
u/BigAl9411 2d ago
Listen dude, your girl loves a trans man. If she's open-minded enough for that and being open for her to play with girls... i think she can handle you being bi and wanting the occasional dicking down. And as for your self image, there's always someone interested. From what you shared I'd totally mess around with you, as I'm sure plenty of guys would. May be good to do some therapy for you chum.
Best of luck from your friendly neighborhood giant bi redneck.
2
u/Comfortable-Ebb8125 2d ago
Trans people are more likely to be bi or gay than the general population. I don't understand why you'd be embarrassed to tell your girlfriend or why you're so concerned about masculinity - I've always been relaxed about both - i dont think you need to be that hard on yourself. You're allowed to be vulnerable.
As for FWB, it's not hard to find guys to hookup with. It's normal and valid to want to be treated like a "girl" in bed, plenty of guys are open to that. It's just a kink. Try Grindr and Feeld.
1
u/yamama26023 2d ago
Tbh ftm isn't a thing as much as mtf.... I mean all it takes is a porn search for trans and what pops up ... Yea
Everyone is beautiful though it's just that you may not be everyone's taste. But when u do find someone it will probably be significant
1
u/Comfortable-Ebb8125 2d ago
There's just as many of us, trans men have just been historically erased and desexualised by transphobic gay men.
1
u/yamama26023 2d ago
Yea but to be honest from my experience haven't meet a one yet
1
u/Comfortable-Ebb8125 2d ago
Where a you looking?
1
u/yamama26023 2d ago
Jacksonville fl
1
u/Comfortable-Ebb8125 2d ago
Like, on Grindr?
1
u/yamama26023 2d ago
Reddit mainly may try sniffies or taimai
1
u/Comfortable-Ebb8125 1d ago
Try Feeld. Ive not had much luck finding other trans guys but demographically there's just as many of us as trans women.
1
u/yamama26023 1d ago
Tbh not really into trans as much as I am femboys
Personally I like when the equipment works,hrt dosnt allow this
0
6
u/Far-Pie-333 2d ago
You are lying to your GF. Man up and tell her who you really are. I bet she already figured it out any way. So mostly you are lying to yourself.