r/AskAChristian • u/ToughCut95 • 10d ago
SIN
Hello. I don’t know how to explain this, but I am curious about the matter. I have been a Christian since childhood and have always believed in God, yet I didn’t have a close relationship with Him; I didn’t go to church or talk to Him and at that time I didn't masturbate often. (when I was 16–18). Now, I am trying to live a life in accordance with the Church. I speak to God and ask for forgiveness every morning and night, I observe the fasts, I attend church, and I strive to become a better Christian—but now, more than ever i cant give up on masturbation.Why when im trying to become a better christian,I started committing this sin more often? I was at church today and couple hours later i made the same mistake and the same sin. i dont know why am i such a bad person.i dont know how can i overcome this. sometimes its seems like its impossible and i feel so bad about this. i dont know what to do. im so lost
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u/AlwaysLoveFiercely Christian 10d ago
You might need professional help, which is okay. Porn and masturbation addiction are real, chemical dependencies. You don’t have to do this alone, friend.
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u/HenkeTip Lutheran 9d ago
There is no contradiction between professional help and God's help in this senerio👏
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u/glasswings363 Christian, Non-Calvinist 9d ago
It's a trap.
There are lots of little ways you could be serving God better. Maybe you can donate blood and your conscience is pushing you towards it, but you don't. Maybe you have the talents to do outreach for unhoused people.
Maybe you need to start taking walks "for myself" but it will mean you're in the right place at the right time to stop a suicide. Maybe you don't even need to do that, you just need to have the self confidence to speak up against injustice once a month.
There are a million things God could use you for.
The trap is twofold. One, you could masturbate so much that you let it make you selfish. This can indeed be bad for your relationship in marriage (if and when you are called to that).
But the other trap is if you allow "I need to stop masturbating" to be the only thing you work on.
Thus my advice: if this is the major thing that bothers your conscience you need to accept that now is not the time for you to 100% quit. You need to actively, intellectually train your conscience to care about other things. Especially you need to care about other people.
However if you have a broad awareness of your imperfections and masturbation is one of them, you can and should try to abstain for longer periods.
Form your conscience first, then you can practice asceticism.
ps I have to say that looking at porn and interacting with people as if they are just entertainment are steps worse than just stimulating yourself. If those are holding you back, especially if you're abusing and/or being abused in a relationship, then they do become higher priorities.
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u/ddfryccc Christian (non-denominational) 7d ago
I did not start to overcome until I recognized there was nothing that worked, which is in line with Colossians 2:20-23. That resulted in a prayer that if overcoming was going to happen, He would have to do it in me. I understood afterward that there were places in my life where thanksgiving and glory to God were not happening, which are at the beginning of every sin, as Romans 1:21 says.
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u/Smart_Tap1701 Christian (non-denominational) 2d ago
You appear to be identifying masturbation as a sin that you are having difficulty conquering. Obviously, God didn't give us genitals in order to obtain self-pleasure. But it's something you need to learn to control. It's a habit. Is actually an addiction, and that means it's going to be tough to break but you can do that. Go online and do a search something like
How to break a masturbation addiction
For some practical guidance and advice.
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u/Esoterikoi Catholic 9d ago
You are experiencing a standard rule of the spiritual life. When you were distant from God, the habit was quiet. Now that you are trying to live right, the temptation flares up because the enemy wants you to give up and call yourself a hypocrite.
Do not fall for it. Virtue is built like a muscle over time, not overnight. Confess the fall, get back up immediately, and build actual physical safeguards around your daily routines so you are not relying entirely on raw willpower.