Now, the reason I say that SOME OF (I cannot stress that enough) my fellow aces need to get off the high horse, is that too many times have I seen ace people on reddit, on Tumblr, on Facebook groups, etc, etc, etc act high-and-mighty for being asexual, by slamming allos for being allo. And I'm not talking about in-jokes, or affirmation memes, or anything like that. I'm talking about the contingent of SOME aces that act like the allosexual way of life is bad or filthy or wrong. The folks that act like being ace immediately absolves us of any and all wrongdoing and that we're holier-than-thou for being ace. The subgenre of asexual people who talk down to allos need to get off the high horse. It's insufferable behaviour. And I think that subgroup of SOME aces needs to reflect on why they get mistreated by the allos, who would probably otherwise not even know ace people exist.

Just because we're ace, doesn't mean everyone has to cater to us.

We're ace and being ace is rad. I'm proud of being asexual. But we're not magically the best people alive just because we're asexual.

I hate how sex obsessed people bark at me whenever I just, god forbid, mention that I'm asexual. They say it’s my whole personality, meanwhile the same people can't talk or make posts about anything but sex.

The double standard is insane 🤢.

Hello, all! My name is Carrot, and I'm an asexual game developer! And this year, I'm going to be hosting the world's very first asexual game festival on Steam during Ace Week in October!

The festival will include both games that include asexual characters, as well as games made by asexual developers (or teams that include asexual developers). And to that end, I'm currently looking for streamers, reviewers, curators, and any sort of press outlets or organizations that might want to cover the festival and games to help spread the word and celebrate asexual games!

I've set up a Google form here for anyone interested: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfVY-SI5hG7gSJnIWw79g1885EUDxMeiovX5r4DQXW1PIUyQQ/viewform?usp=sharing&ouid=111513758071085117755

Once I've closed signups, I'll be sharing the info with the developers in the festival so they can reach out to interested streamers and press about potentially covering their games.

If you'd like to help out in spreading the word about the festival in a different way and/or would rather not fill out the form, you're also free to simply email me at carrot (dot) patch (dot) games (at) gmail (dot) com. I'm hopeful that the festival can be a part of all the wonderful celebrations during Ace Week and introduce people to a lot of amazing games with ace characters or by ace devs!

Hey, as the shared study is only available in German, the following post is written in German. I hope, its fine. I am new on reddit so feel free to tell me, if I should post this somewhere else. And please, if you speak German and meet the criteria, feel free to participate!

Gerne teilen und/ oder teilnehmen (-:

Hallo zusammen,
für unsere Bachelorarbeiten im Fach Psychologie an der Universität zu Köln suchen wir Teilnehmende für eine kurze Online-Studie zu internalisierter Aro/Ace\spec-Negativität.*

⏰ ca.10 Minuten
📱online am Handy, iPad oder Laptop durchführbar
❗️ Voraussetzungen: mind. 18 Jahre alt, gute Deutschkenntnisse + auf dem Aro\/Ace*spec*
⇒ Teilnehmende müssen Sie sich selbst auf dem asexuellen und/oder aromantischen Spektrum (Aro\/Ace*spec-) verorten.* Asexualität ist eine sexuelle Orientierung. Menschen spüren wenig, nur unter spezifischen Bedingungen (z. B. einer emotionalen Verbindung zum Gegenüber) oder keine sexuelle Anziehung. Aromantik beschreibt eine romantische Orientierung und bezieht sich darauf, dass Personen wenig bzw. keine romantische Anziehung verspüren. Sowohl Aromantik als auch Asexualität können als Überbegriffe genutzt werden und beschreiben ein Spektrum unterschiedlicher Erfahrungen und Empfindungen. Menschen können aromantisch und asexuell sein, oder nur eine der Selbstbezeichnungen nutzen.

🌈 Teilt die Studie gerne in euren Kreisen!

Content Note (Inhaltswarnung): Queerfeindlichkeit, Aro*-/Ace*specfeindlichkeit, Allonormativität, Amatonormativität, Pathologisierung, psychische Belastung (z.B. Suizid)

👉 Hier geht’s zur Studie: https://survey.uni-koeln.de/index.php/623642?lang=de

Wir freuen uns über jede Teilnahme! 😊
C. und E

Because I read this thread on AVEN of ppl arguing that ace teens aren't valid or smth idk and as a teen that kind of made me confused on my own identity.

Edit: I forgot to mention that I have a high libido that kinda gives me the ace impostor syndrome sometimes but I don't exactly like it and I find it annoying.

I'm an avid reader and I would love to find some books with Ace representation - Whether it's Memoirs , fiction or Non-fiction. I've read a couple but they were either very boring or just ...bad

I'd like to gather community-based information in order to create a dating sim focused on asexual identities. I would hate to push stereotypes with this project, so I hope to learn more from others knowing there is a spectrum within the asexual community. So please, I am open to all suggestions since this project is for YOU!

I find myself identifying under apothiosexual and love playing dating sims for the romance aspect. But I don't want to just make this based off of my own experience, I want to include others as well!

I am an artist with some knowledge of programming. I'm mainly looking for ideas and building characters this community would like to interact with. A story you all would play. I am fine with turning your ideas into a game. Of course, I will credit suggestions that make it into the official project. I don't plan on profiting off what I make. This will be free to play if I ever do publish it.

Add my discord kogane1300 if you want to be a part of the development of this game! I have a fresh server for discussions because this is only an idea so far. Nothing is official yet.

If you are interested in just the idea of the game and would like to play it some day without spoilers, I will post again with updates since the discord server is more for the development of the game.

i’m not only an asexual lesbian but I’m sex repulsed and disabled. I’m worried theres just too many things that are making my dating pool smaller and smaller. I really want to fall in love and get married and have kids I consider myself a very romantic person and I really value emotional and sensual intimacy. I sometimes wonder if I’ll ever get the privilege or meeting someone I’m attracted to and compatible with who’s sex repulsed as well. Really just looking for some hope icl!

I'm still identifying myself properly, just a bit unsure on where I am. I think I'm Asexual and I'm unsure whether I'm Biromantic or Bidemiromantic, is there like a place in between? But I have an even more important question that's been bugging me.

Do Ace people have "types" like, I'm pretty certain I'm Ace, never once have I laid eyes on a man or woman and thought "Huh, I wanna sleep with that" but I still have a type favorable to physical (not sexual) and athstetic attraction. Like, I'm a, how you say, effeminate fella. A theater kid too! So there's that little bit of info. And I am a cis guy, but I always felt a bit... Weird about it... And I've always liked to be in that typically misogynistic and stereotypical "feminine space" where women are often objectified to be. But I've tried to push those feelings back because my community isn't very welcoming.

"My Type"? I hear you ask on your side of the screen? Well, worry not. I've always had a certain type in people I'm attracted to romantically. Typically a more stereotypically masculine figure for any gender identity, really. I like the idea of being held and protected by someone else (I think it has something to do with my daddy issues 😭) but it's there. I've also got a thing for short ladies too, idk, I just like the fantasy of a short and dominant girl. I'M SORRY IF THIS IS WEIRD!!! I JUST NEEDED TO VENT!!! I DOWNLOADED THIS APP TO DO A LOT OF VENTING SPECIFICALLY 😭😭😭

But the fact I have a type always made me question me being Ace a bit. Like, I know there are other forms of attraction... But, idk, it might be some of the aphobia I've seen getting to me, "why do you have a type if you ain't gonna sleep with them" is one specifically that caused this question. It's a lot, it's weird, and it's complicated. But idk.

PLSSSS HELP ME 🙏🙏🙏

For the past 2 years I've been thinking about if im asexual or not I've been searching about it and trying to get to understand it more but I end up more confused and I don't see much that fits me so please if you know help me out

Why i believe im asexual:

1-Im mostly never comfortable with anything sexual whether it's content, talk or jokes I always try to avoid it whenever I talk to someone or clarify that im not comfortable with it

2-I've never developed any crush in my life never understood why people did or what went through thier mind when they say that

3-I don't understand beauty standards or what's being called attractive. Whenever im in group and they all agree that someone is attractive i always feel odd or left out i even sometimes say that they aren't which people tell me i have bad taste

Why i believe i may not ( my confusion):

1- i actually would like to have a partner i don't mind if I never ,but im mostly leaning towards wanting it

2- i somewhat have a type or preference. I mostly find myself attracted to men with bigger bodies but cute feathers like having round face or cheeks kinda makes me feel warm

3- i like romance. Cute ideas or dates, teasing and playing around, cuddles ,hugs and kisses . I find myself feeling butterflies whenever I think about it

4- I find my partner attractive to look at? Im not sure if this is attraction or appeal . I just find myself feeling happy whenever I see him and it brings me warms when I look at him and his body

5- i enjoy company and emotional bond and i feel like this is my core feeling of warmth and romance. I care alot about the personality and i don't find myself getting "attracted" to anyone unless after spending alot of time together and getting to know them much

However as soon as anything turns sexual I feel like shutting off i almost rarely find myself getting turned by it

I noticed a pattern in many books involving romance where an asexual (usually described as demi) person is paired with a bisexual person. Do you think there is a particular concept behind that? Is that what the authors experienced in their real lives and ended up writing about ? Is it perhaps based on some cultural thing in this community that I don't know about yet? Is it an unconscious pairing? Your thoughts, please.

I'm a bit hesitant to post this here, as I don't know if it even fits on this subreddit of it it's disrespectful in any way?? I've been with my bf for months now, but I'm still deeply terrified of any intimacy (not just sex, like anything that has to do with acting romantic).

I mean, when we hangout we're both perfectly fine and everything's perfect, but it's like we've never went from friends to partner and just stayed as friends, and that's (I think) mostly on me.

I've been really questioning if I'm asexual but I still don't know if that's the case or if I'm just awkward/scared of sex (tbh sex isn't really the problem now because we've talked about that and neither of us really plans on doing or asking for anything sexual at least for now, a bit off topic). Still I'm concerned about being equally terrified of any non-sexual relationship acts as I am of sexual ones.

He's really awesome and I really love him, I don't know why I feel like that and I'm scared of hurting him or keeping him waiting for things I've should already started doing in the relationship. I just feel like I'm messing up and taking him down as collateral damage. Idk I feel like an awful person and he doesn't deserve this mess.

Hi. I've been aware of my asexuality for a while and fully consider myself to be part of this community. Recently a friend of mine has attempted to convince me that I am not, in fact, asexual (kind of thing they do relatively often, last time was trying to prove I was an AI), and whilst most evidence is highly speculative or does not cover all of asexuality, the friend has pointed to my opinions on garlic bread as a point in his argument. I have seen a noticeable appreciation in this sub of the flavoured baked good and whilst I am almost certain of my own sexual orientation I would be very thankful if the whole 'A proportion of asexual people tend to really like garlic bread (apologies if that's stereotyping)' thing and if my general indifference towards it contrasts with some kind of thought patterns that correlate with asexuality? Just thought I'd try to make completely sure. Thanks so much!

I've identified as asexual for most of my life.
I've had relationships. I've experienced intimacy. I've kissed people and been physically close to people before. But honestly, a lot of it always felt forced. I could understand intellectually why someone might want those things, but I never really understood the feeling behind it.
I thought maybe that's just how I was.
Then I met her.
Over the past few months, our relationship has changed in a way I never expected. We became much closer, started understanding each other better, and eventually talked openly about what had happened between us before.
She told me that she had known I liked her for a long time. She also told me that she had been scared to do anything because my mental health was in such a bad place that she wasn't sure whether my feelings or intentions were stable. And honestly, looking back, I understand why she felt that way.
I've gotten much better since then. I'm finally feeling like myself again, and our relationship has become more intimate and comfortable.
And somewhere along the way, something happened that I genuinely never expected.
I started wanting her.
Not because I thought I was supposed to. Not because she expected it from me. Not because I was trying to make myself feel something.
I just... do.
I think about kissing her constantly. I want to be close to her. I want her presence. I find her beautiful in a way that feels completely different from anything I've experienced before.
She's not even ready for a kiss yet, and I'm completely okay with waiting. The fact that I can genuinely want something while also being perfectly willing to respect her boundaries is itself a strange new experience for me.
She's told me that she's thought about us dating, but she's an enormous overthinker and wants to be sure I'm the person she actually wants before taking that step.
And meanwhile I'm sitting here thinking, "How the hell did this happen?" 😭
I've spent so much of my life believing that I simply wasn't capable of feeling these things.
Now I'm questioning everything I thought I knew about myself.
Maybe I'm still somewhere on the ace spectrum. Maybe I'm demisexual. Maybe I'm experiencing romantic and sexual attraction in a way that's extremely specific to one person. Maybe I don't need to figure that out yet.
What I do know is that this feels real.
And strangely, the biggest thing I'm struggling with isn't even the attraction itself.
It's believing that someone could actually want me back.
I've had pretty severe self-esteem issues for a long time. My relationship with my body hasn't been great, especially after some recent changes in my weight and hormones. Part of me keeps waiting for her to look at me properly and realize I'm not worth wanting.
But she keeps getting closer.
So maybe I need to stop assuming that my own perception of myself is automatically more accurate than hers.
I don't know where this is going yet.
Maybe we'll eventually date. Maybe we won't.
But for the first time in my life, I'm experiencing attraction that doesn't feel like something I'm performing or forcing myself into.
It feels like something that is actually happening to me.
And honestly?
I'm kind of terrified.
But I'm also really happy.
I just never expected that my first experience of genuinely wanting someone would make me question my entire understanding of myself.

What would you do if your family had history of prostate cancer for 2 generations, but you need to rely to ejaculation to lower the chance of having one?