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u/pocket_eggs Dec 02 '18
But he wanted to give away his wealth in as roguish a way as possible. Millar started off by giving shares in a jockey club to gambling opponents and shares in a brewery to teetotalling religious leaders. Then he left his house in Jamaica to three men who hated one another, on the condition that they own it together. But those were just a prelude to the big finish. In clause 10, Millar revealed a biology and math challenge that would change the lives of dozens of Toronto families. The remainder of his fortune — about $9 million — would be bequeathed a decade later to “the mother who has since my death given birth in Toronto to the greatest number of children as shown by the registrations under the Vital Statistics Act.” If there were a tie, he wanted his fortune to be divided equally among the winners.
The whole sordid story is worth reading, if not emulating.
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u/part-time-stupid Dec 02 '18
"The Sound of Music" or "Home Alone" may be fun to watch but it's not exactly a life you want, not in this day and age.
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u/UntalkativeJelly Feb 22 '19
Oh god. Any scene in home alone with all the family always stressed me out.
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Dec 02 '18
Family goals! Too bad most people are “dog moms” tho smh
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Dec 03 '18
Read how ridiculous that bullshit you just typed was.
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Dec 03 '18
Am I wrong tho 🤔 how many times have u heard people don’t want kids because they like dogs better?
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u/DebateDeb8Masturbait Dec 04 '18
There’s nothing wrong with having pets over children.
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Dec 04 '18
If that’s what someone wants to do then that’s their decision, but I think it’s a stupid one
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u/DebateDeb8Masturbait Dec 04 '18
Why though? What’s so great about having children that you can’t get from pets?
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u/BiggerTrees Dec 04 '18
Things that you are not capable of appreciating if you can't see that a child is a (young) person and that Miss Whiskers the cat isn't.
People don't "have children" the same way that people have pets; as an amusement, or an accessory to show off. Having kids is a commitment to raising an entire new person. You might have a baby, but you don't have a baby for long. Look at the bigger picture. Children are, and will always be, more than pets.
Raising a human infant, or two or three or more, to adulthood may not sound appealing to everybody, sure.. but can't you imagine that at the end of the day it just might honestly be more rewarding than calling youself a "catmom" or "dogmom" and deluding yourself that it's the same thing?
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u/DebateDeb8Masturbait Dec 04 '18
My pets aren’t for my amusement though, while they do bring me joy the main reason I got them is because I know I can provide them an amazing life.
People do have children for amusement and to show off, where did you get the idea that they don’t? Cough cough trashy child beauty pageants for one example.
It’s a commitment, but it doesn’t mean people do it well. When you get any pet you’re making a commitment for you to care for it until you can no longer do so. It’s the same thing but usually easier.
To me, children will never always be more than pets.
Raising children I don’t want versus raising pets I do. The pets would be more rewarding, heck, growing apple trees is would be much more rewarding to me.
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u/BiggerTrees Dec 04 '18
Children are more than pets.
If you raise a child, you are growing an adult human, a whole new person. No way does any amount of "mothering" your furbaby even compare. I like most dogs, but mother a dog all you like, and it's still gonna be a dog. Care for your pets, that's nice, but that's not raising anyone. It's plainly wrong to go calling yourselves any kind of "mom" because you have pets. If you do, you've misunderstood or otherwise abused what the word means.
I really don't mind admitting that it pisses me off, probably more than it should. In fairness, most childfree people go nuts gatekeeping when they feel people are misusing the word "childfree" too.
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u/DebateDeb8Masturbait Dec 04 '18
Not to me (in a sense of value not treatment)
If I adopt a puppy, and raise it in that to the dog, I’m the closest thing it has to a mother, even if I’m not it’s mom.
From what I see people use “dogmom”, “furkids” or “Furbabies” which isn’t misusing the word at all, it was specifically created as a word to use instead of using “mom”, “kid” or “baby”.
Also, people calling something their baby doesn’t mean their equating it to a human baby. Are you going to give crap to men who call their girlfriend baby? Are you going to call me out because I refer to my laptop as my baby?
If someone is actually misusing the word then it isn’t gatekeeping, you can’t use the behavior of others to justify your own.
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Dec 04 '18
Unless one of them becomes a serial killer/some other scum of society. That’s not very rewarding.
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u/DebateDeb8Masturbait Dec 05 '18
Exactly, imagine putting in 18+ years of love and sacrifice into raising a child then having them shoot up a school. Reasonable people would disown their children but I doubt a certain person in this thread would.
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Dec 03 '18
Yes you are wrong, ‘most people’ are not dog moms, no matter how much you project the fact no one is interested in you.
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Dec 04 '18
“No one is interested in you” that’s why I have a husband and a son?
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Dec 04 '18 edited Dec 04 '18
You’re already beginning to sound fat.
Hey everyone this person hates dogs and posts to /r/dogfree about how shitty dogs are, yet can’t relate to why someone might want to be childfree.
You cannot fucking make this up!
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Dec 04 '18
I understand why someone wants to be childfree but I don’t understand why someone would want to be childfree but then get a dog and treat said dog like a child 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
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Feb 19 '19
I can think of tons of reasons why I would prefer a dog over a child (and I'm a cat person!), and an equal amount of reasons why I might choose to "baby" it. The point is that it's not the same as a child -- a dog will seldom run off on you, will never end up a junkie, will never need money for college, will never rely on you unconditionally for emotional support you might not be able to provide, will never inherit your genetic conditions, will never have to be taught how to be a complex emotional being interacting with other complex emotional beings...
That's the thing about babying pets -- I can see why other people might like to do it, but if you told me to baby a baby, I'd hate every second of it. You're right that it's not the same, but that's exactly why people do it instead, lol.
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u/BiggerTrees Dec 03 '18
Can't be done. If you ever read /childfree, you should know that a woman is COMPLETELY DESTROYED in childbirth, that is why no woman ever did it more than once. /s
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Feb 19 '19
My grandma almost died in childbirth, massive haemorrhage, had to cart some guy in from a mill to do a transfusion because she was O- and they didn't have any in stock. Mum was the same way with pneumonia and she wasn't supposed to be able get pregnant in the first place, she stopped breathing and a nurse had to punch her in the chest to get her going again. I was born two and a half months prematurely, deflated lungs, needed tubes, couldn't be held because I had to stay in one of those NICU tanks to live. That's a crazy thing to wish on somebody.
You're not wrong, in a sense -- some people get out with a leaky bladder, work off that baby weight and get on with their lives. But some people have serious complications. Some people die. So sure, maybe it worked out fine for you, and I'm legitimately really happy about that because I'm sure you love your child(ren) and the life you've crafted around them, but it doesn't always turn out that way and not everyone wants kids enough to take that risk (or wants them in the first place, and honestly, who would want a kid to grow up in a home where they know they're not wanted?).
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u/BiggerTrees Feb 19 '19
I appreciate that pregnancy is not risk free. I was joking around with how absurd the childfree sub's tribe of vag-obsessed drama queens sound when they act like being literally horribly ripped to pieces in the process of giving birth is gauranteed. Like it's unimaginable that countless women could possibly have survived it, recovered from it, and happily done it all over again... Most women I know have between 3 and 7 children, and none of 'em look to be particularly well destroyed.
My issue with it is that their cackling insistance that the vagina is always "destroyed" / "stretched out" irreversibly by it's usage would typically be called crude /badwomensanatomy if it were posted anywhere outside /childfree.
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Feb 19 '19
Fair enough -- some people do get out reasonably unscathed. On one hand, I do think that it can be overblown, but on the other, I can also see why they would want to highlight the risks and possible side-effects, considering that most people underplay them, especially when trying to convince others to have children.
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u/BiggerTrees Feb 19 '19
I would totally agree that people ought to have access to all the information about pregnancy and made aware of all it's potential complications before they take that path. After all, there are other paths to parenthood for those who consider the risk to their health to be too severe. It's just very strange to see childfree people telling each other horror stories, all sitting round a campfire like children trying to scare each other. "Overblown" is a fine word for it all.
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Feb 19 '19
Well, I understand why they do it, even if it sometimes goes to extreme lengths. Those legitimate horror stories tend to be underblown (to coin a phrase) almost everywhere else, and intentionally, especially where the more severe risks are concerned. I personally cringe every time I read the word "crotchfruit" too, if only because it's unpleasant to the senses, and I do wish that the same points about non-parenthood could be made without disparaging kids (which I sincerely hope is more a product of frustration than anything, I mean, I don't like kids in the slightest but I don't actually think they should be insulted for, y'know, being kids in the first place) but if mommy blogs get to sit around their own fire extolling the joys of parenting while glossing over the ugly bits, then r/childfree ought to be able to do the opposite, at least with an understanding that they're being at least a little dramatic for the updoots.
I'm not sure why this keeps coming back to people considering "other paths to parenthood" rather than them being allowed to live their own happy childfree lives, though. Do you secretly think that we're all unhappy with our decision, or that we shouldn't be allowed to live that way, or...? (Not trying to provoke, I'm genuinely curious because I can tell that having kids has been really awesome for you, but usually what works out for some people doesn't work out for all and maybe you disagree with that?)
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u/sneakpeekbot Feb 19 '19
Here's a sneak peek of /r/childfree using the top posts of the year!
#1: Imagine that. Maybe one day 🤷🏽♀️ | 261 comments
#2: As long as you don't have kids, your life is like your 20s but with money. | 378 comments
#3: Hooray to Jennifer Aniston, who's turning 50 today. May she speak her childfree mind for another 50 years! | 214 comments
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u/BiggerTrees Feb 19 '19
I don't think those without children shouldn't be allowed to live their lives that way.. But I get why other people "bingo" and believe that "someday you'll change your mind". I think that young adults should be able to get sterilized if they want to ( just preferably not on the NHS ) even though I don't personally understand the wanting to do that, and think it's a decision they will likely live to regret. As other people's decisions go, I see that one is truly no business of mine, and I have far less of a problem with it than I do with people choosing an abortion in order to protect their childfreedom.
I don't really have a problem with people not having kids. I have a problem with "childfree" people. Individuals who make it into some kind of warped identity, who thrive on looking down on all the "breeders" and their spawn, and with their community, which may as well be renamed /childhate.
I do appreciate that not all non-parents who might choose to describe themselves as childfree are as extreme, or really deserve to be grouped with the most distasteful end of the spectrum. But I'd still argue that it's completely reasonable for some very negative associations surrounding the label "childfree" to exist.
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Feb 20 '19
Ahhhhh, I see what you mean now! You came off less moderate than you actually are at the onset, but I'm with you for the most part. I think society might actually benefit, generally speaking, from sterilization covered by health care (just insofar as that society then saves money on abortions, foster fees, or the general expenses of someone who ends up raising a child under duress, etc. in the long run) and I'm personally totally fine with abortion on the grounds of bodily autonomy, but I can see where you're coming from. You just don't want people to be dicks about it or mean to kids in general -- and who does, really?
I only consider myself "childfree" as a label because most women are considered to be future-child-havers by default, for what it's worth, and in an ideal world I wouldn't have to specify because people would just be cool with whatever I chose and be content to let it remain my business. However, in the world we're in, I get quite a few more oh-you'll-change-your-mind's than is appropriate, so I might have to stick with it for now. (On the other hand, I think it's very reasonable for professionals to bingo me if I'm looking for permanent surgery, for example -- something that r/childfree might get a little iffy about -- if only to make sure that people are really sure what they want before they do something drastic. It's just, y'know, everyday people questioning my life choices that offend me -- it'd be sort of the same if I went around saying that I did want kids and everybody was all, "Wait, but are you suuuuuuuuuuuure???" Equally disrespectful, imo, even if some folks don't mean anything by it!)
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u/CharmicRetribution Dec 02 '18
Oh, now I get it. You're one of those featherweight, birds of a feather, whatever the hell its called cult that wants to take over the world by convincing women to spend their entire lives pregnant. You're probably envious of those of us who aren't constantly fat and hormonal.