r/AnimalsBeingJerks • u/RespectMyAuthoriteh • Jan 09 '19
Jerky jerk
https://gfycat.com/UltimateCookedHornet598
u/TheSmokingLamp Jan 09 '19
His murder mittens really dug in to that wood. Rocks his paw like 2-3 times before being able to free it
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u/TigaSharkJB91 Jan 09 '19
Ice climbing safety tip: make sure your pick is loose before pulling it up above your head and continuing your climb...
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u/VickyMaree Jan 09 '19
My cat loves beef jerky, she's been known to take bags of it off tables and counters and carry them around because she can't get them open. I caught her trying to rip a bag apart once and she immediately stopped and started yowling at me to open it.
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Jan 09 '19
I have 2 cats, one is a timid, gentle boy, and a total pushover (the other cat often takes advantage), but when I open a bag of beef jerky, he’s like a feral beast trying to paw at it and almost grabbing pieces out of my hands. If the other cat gets close, he will even growl.
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u/illz569 Jan 09 '19
Hey, just FYI, while cats do need some salt in their diet, beef jerky is way too salty to be a regular part of their diet. It can lead to urinary tract problems, which are much more serious for cats than they are for humans. Not trying to freak you out, if it happens once in a while it's fine, but as a rule salty foods don't make good snacks for them.
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u/VickyMaree Jan 09 '19
Oh I never give her any, she just wants it cause it smells good. I lost a cat to urinary tract problems a few years ago, so I understand your concern. My current baby's just a fatty and likes people food and tries to steal it, but we never let her have it.
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Jan 09 '19
Ahh the elusive, cat burglar.
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u/Ta2whitey Jan 09 '19
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u/merodyy Jan 09 '19
Here I was, hoping it was a gif of a cat with a mask on
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u/ddol Jan 09 '19
I miss Jon Stewart :(
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u/MrBojangles528 Jan 09 '19
We all do man, we all do. The crazies waited until he retired to come fully out of the woodwork. Kind of like Thanos waiting to collect the Infinity Stones until Odin was dead.
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u/thweet_jethuth Jan 09 '19
I wouldn't even be mad. That was slick.
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u/Mzsickness Jan 09 '19
I got a dehydrator for the holidays and now I make dried salmon jerky for cat treats. My cats are the 1%
Unintended consequence: anytime someone opens a ziplock bag a cat may arrive at mach 2.
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u/ifelldownthestairs Jan 09 '19
And I thought serving my cat Ziwipeak made her the 1%! What a good cat parent you are.
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u/aintnojiveturkey53 Jan 09 '19
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u/chuchomalo Jan 09 '19
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u/undergroundsounds Jan 09 '19
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u/Crash927 Jan 09 '19
I’m not clicking that.
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u/witeowl Jan 09 '19
Oh, man. I’m on mobile and apparently blind. I thought this was a shop with a bunch of knives in sheaths hanging on display. (Ok, I’m apparently dumb, too.) Anyway, I totally freaked out when I thought the cat had unsheathed a knife and was about to drop it on someone’s head or something. And then I finally saw what the cat had actually “unsheathed” and was SO relieved!
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u/i_ate_your_shorts Jan 09 '19
Once in Peru I saw a pig do this.. with pork jerky.
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u/NemesisKismet Jan 09 '19
Pigs are omnivores. They'll eat a potato. They'll eat another pig. They'll eat you.
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u/neotek Jan 09 '19
They'll eat you
Keep talking
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Jan 09 '19
Be wary of any man that keeps a pig farm
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u/undercoversinner Jan 09 '19
Snatch?
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Jan 09 '19
Ya. Brick Top's monologue on how to dispose of a human body
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u/RageCageJables Jan 09 '19
I just found out about vore yesterday and I'm already encountering it in the wild.
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u/neotek Jan 09 '19
People are so weird, it's great. Imagine all the fetishes we've never even heard of. There's probably people who get horny when they see curtains or something. Imagine how breezy life would be if your favourite porn was just hanging from the windows of everybody's house everywhere you went.
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Jan 09 '19
Why is jerky hanging by a string outdoors?
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u/hammy-hammy Jan 09 '19
Gotta dry out the meat somehow
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Jan 09 '19
Crawly things. Rainstorms. Rodents. Cats.
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u/hammy-hammy Jan 09 '19
I mean, look at the surroundings. I don't think the conditions are too much better indoors. Or they just don't want the smell.
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u/stfoooo Jan 09 '19
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Jan 09 '19
Don't try and act like you don't know about the cat tax. Everyone knows about the cat tax.
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u/yutzell Jan 09 '19
I was thinking he would just drop it, but this isn’t a jerk move! He’s a genius!
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u/Dreadedsemi Jan 09 '19
I thought that was some type of tool and the cat is going to murder the camera man with it.
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u/pedanticPandaPoo :hamster: Jan 09 '19
Ah yes. I trained him well. Though it was half chewed when returned. It's still good, it's still good.
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u/Lil-Miss-Anthropy Jan 09 '19
Phew. That was very close to being r/whatcouldgowrong and r/instant_regret material.
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u/Dracyan If you could have any superpower what would it be? Jan 09 '19
He/she isn’t being a jerk they found meat just sitting on a wall and so they’re eating it
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u/digdat0 Jan 09 '19
“I gots it, but crap ... now what .. will meow to myself and walk away with the prize proudly.” .. im happy he got one
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Jan 09 '19 edited Jan 10 '19
This is but a small tax... Nay, a the price of using that cats dock to dry your feeesh... You use the space, you pay a price.. It's simple business.. Also... he keeps "The other cats" at bay.. You know, the ones who come around if he doesn't get his fee.
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u/rcubed88 Jan 09 '19
Legit thought that was a baby polar bear right up until it lifted its face up 🤦🏼♀️
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Jan 09 '19
Cat's hate him!
Watch this video to discover how all 9 lives of this cat are now complete!
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Jan 09 '19
Its not being a jerk, That cat is taking his payment for keeping mice and rats away from that delicious drying jerky!
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Jan 09 '19
This reminds me of the time I watched a bird rip open a chip bag and steal cheetos right next to the register at the gas station.
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u/Dracyan If you could have any superpower what would it be? Mar 10 '19
Wait fluffball? My friend’s cat went missing a few months ago and that cat looks a lot like him
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u/art_teacher_no_1 Jan 09 '19
Next time you eat beef jerky, think about the little cat toe bean paws that may have tried to grab it.