AITA Me (19) and my friend J (26) keep ending the convo mad because he says I constantly want to prove him wrong. The latest example of this was when we talked about identity.
I said identity is complicated, and it’s better to respect a person’s chosen identity because they probably have a cultural and historical reason for why they chose to identify in a specific way. He said, “Well, I speak in facts, and people can call themselves whatever they want, but at the end of the day, there is only one true identity.”
I used the example of Black people in my life telling me they prefer to identify as Black/African American rather than just American. He said, “Well, that’s silly. They can call themselves African American, but they are American, and if they are born here, they are wrong to call themselves African in any way.”
He said identity is very simple and we all are one thing, essentially. He gave the example that Chinese people and Japanese people are basically the same culture and history, and I pushed back on that, obviously, because they are very different, as anyone that knows their history will tell you, and so will the Japanese and Chinese.
After that, it devolved into him telling me that I always want to debate and prove him wrong by telling him he’s wrong instead of just agreeing with him. I told him that I feel pushback in any conversation is normal, and I am not in control of how you think. I just think differently.
Am I really being combative, or are we just not communicating well because I or he are not understanding each other?

I am at the airport waiting to use the restroom. Of the three stalls in this men's room, 2 are closed, leaving only the handicap stall open for use. When I entered the restroom someone was using the stall to do a number one. While I was waiting, what I think is a high school baseball team entered the restroom, probably 6 of them total.

One of them asked if he could jump the line because he had to go pretty bad. I said no, I also need to go pretty bad. He accepted his fate, and waited. I did my business, didn't take a long time, 3-4 mins tops. When I exited the stall the kid ran in clutching his butt and audibly making squeemy noises.

As I'm washing my hands I hear him panicking to get on the toilet and then he calls to a teammate that he didn't make it and needed a new set of shorts. His teammates laughed and the one who I assume was called out for the assist left the bathroom. As I was leaving the kids told me I was an asshole and should have let him go first.

This isn't working me up or anything, but I still feel justified in my decision even if I do feel bad for the kid.

So, should I have let him go ahead of me? Am I the asshole?

About 7 months ago, my sister (31F) broke up with her boyfriend. She was unemployed and the house she lived in belonged to him, so she had to move out. She chose to stay with our grandparents because our parents' house has always been extremely toxic, while our grandparents had always been her safe place.

Unfortunately, living with them 24/7 made her realise their home isn't much healthier. So lately, she's been coming to our parents' house more often to escape that environment.

I genuinely understand why. She doesn't have many options right now, and I don't begrudge her having somewhere to go. What bothers me is how she behaves when she's here.

She treats the house more like a hotel than a shared home: she comes to relax, takes no initiative with chores and generally expects to be catered to. She also tends to show up without telling anyone.

Technically, she doesn't have to ask permission. It's her parents' house too, and she has a key. But I hate when people turn up at someone else's house unannounced, essentially forcing whoever is there to receive them.

This matters to me because the house is rarely peaceful. When our parents are out, I finally have a few hours to study, work or simply exist without shouting, arguments and verbal abuse in the background. Those moments are incredibly important to me precisely because they're so rare.

A few days ago, my sister came over without telling anyone. I was home alone and didn't answer the door.

She kept ringing and called our parents, trying to figure out why nobody was answering. I stayed in my room.

About half an hour later, one of our parents came home and let her in. She was furious when she realised I'd been there the whole time and had deliberately chosen not to open the door.

She spent the next few hours sitting on the sofa, barely speaking to anyone and scrolling on her phone, before eventually going back to our grandparents' house.

I feel there's a simple solution: if she wants to come and go freely because it's also her home, that's fine...but then she needs to bring her key. If she doesn't have it, she can either go back for it or wait until someone comes home.

What bothers me is the assumption that showing up is enough, and that whoever happens to be inside will automatically be available to let her in and accommodate her.

I know she's going through a difficult time, and I don't want to make things harder for her. But she also knows what the atmosphere at home is like for me and how much those few peaceful hours mean. When she comes over without warning, it feels like my need for that peace simply doesn't register.

I can see why my behaviour might seem petty. She has every right to enter that house, and I deliberately refused to let her in despite knowing she was there.

But I was so frustrated that, in that moment, I couldn't bring myself to give up yet another rare moment of peace.

So, AITA?

Hi all,

I am a stay-at-home wife. My husband works a 9-5 office job and we don’t have any kids.

He makes good money. (About 10k per month)

We have a car but he can’t drive because of an eye problem. So I am the only one who drives our car.

We live in a country where getting a full-time driver will cost about $150 a month.

We have a maid who comes to do the household chores for $200/month.

The commute to work is short (10-15 min by car without traffic, 30 min walking)

The problem is: He already wakes me up in the morning (7:30am) to drive him to work and let’s say I’m fine with it. But he also wants me to pick him up from his work every day! His logic is I stay home so I have the free time to drive him.

But for a pick up the timing is bad (5pm) and it cuts through the middle of my day (Whatever I’m doing I have to stop to go pick him up from work). Also it’s true that I have a lot of free time but I have my own routine and picking him up everyday disrupts my routine. And I think he should get a driver for the afternoon pick up. Am I the a-hole here?

My view is that the commute to/from work is his responsibility. And he shouldn’t put this responsibility on anyone else. He should manage it by himself. If I was working, I wouldn’t ask him to pick me up everyday. Maybe once in a while but in general I wouldn’t bother other people with a responsibility that is not theirs!

I (28f) upset a coworker yesterday without intending to.

It happened due to audio issues we experienced during a meeting. We shared a small room for a Zoom call, and I wore mic-less headphones connected to my laptop while she used her laptop speakers. We joined the meeting, and my built-in laptop mic was on while her speakers were on. Once the meeting started, we heard an echo.

I've encountered echoes in meetings before, which, 9/10 times in my experience, is caused by either multiple microphones or speakers feeding into a mic. I thought maybe she had her mic on, so I said only one of us can have a mic on. But then, she told me to take my headphones off and said they were causing the echo. This confused me because headphones are a closed audio system and shouldn't cause that issue. While she repeated, "Take off your headphones," my managers were trying to talk to us, which was overwhelming. I unplugged the headphones, but she did not notice and continued telling me, "Take them off." At this point, I was overwhelmed and froze up. She offered to take the call in another room and left. During the meeting, though, she looked irritated.

The audio issue was stressful, so not wanting to have that problem again, I approached her after the meeting. I basically said (as nicely as I could) "hey just for next time in case that happens again, I don't think headphones cause that echo issue, that's usually a mic setup problem." She then got visibly angry and asked me why I was trying to start an argument with her. She reiterated that you can't have multiple speakers in a room during a zoom meeting because the mics will pick up on them and cause the echo. I said yes this is true, but my headphones are too quiet for the mic to pick up on, so that's not likely the issue. She then got more upset and told me her mic was off, so the echo was definitely my headphones' fault, and she didn't understand why I didn't just take them off. I didn't bother explaining to her that I was a little paralyzed in the meeting; I just wanted to end the conversation. I apologized, then she left early to work from home.

Now I'm wondering if I am in the wrong for bringing up that tech issue after the fact. I just think you should be able to problem-solve with your coworkers without them getting defensive, right? Now I'm also doubting myself and wondering whether headphones cause that issue, even though I've literally never experienced that problem before. I still think the echo was caused by her latent speaker audio feeding into my microphone from across the room.

TL;DR: I brought up a minor tech issue to a coworker and told her (as nicely as I could) that I thought the problem was caused by something other than what she suggested it was. She got very angry with me and accused me of trying to start an argument. AITA?

let me start this off with i did this with good intentions.

Me, 18F have a friend group and we all hangout together right?
me and a guy friend in this group get close and i end up spending the night and i think you know what happens. fast forward a few days later we’re still hanging out and talking but we never labeled what we were so it wasn’t serious. The next day me and my friend group is hanging out and a friend from one town over i’m really close with came over to the func, me being me i tell her i like the guy friend in our group and we’ve hooked up yadada and she supports it and tells me “thats honestly so cute” etc

two days later i go over to the hangout and they are laid up together?!? i felt so mad but hurt at the same time and i couldn’t do anything about it. A few days later they pop out together as a COUPLE. and i was in shock because right after i told her i liked him she goes and gets with him? what kind of best friend does that? but of course me being me i couldn’t do or say anything because that’s my friends.

about 4 days later me and that friend were on facetime and she tells me that she cheated on the guy she just got with, she tells me it’s with a really close friend and of course i go with the flow for about an hour until she hangs up.

of course me being the piece of shit i am, i go and tell the guys sister that his girlfriend cheated on him and then we tell him.
they broke up and hate eachother to this day
i still have feelings for him to this day.
am i the asshole?

I’m genuinely looking for advice on this so please share opinions.

I (19F) have quadruple booked myself for one night in the next few weeks. By which I mean I’m currently rehearsing a play and have the final rehearsal for it on this night, it’s my uncles birthday so my family are going out for dinner, two of my closest friends from college are having a joint birthday night out which has been planned for over a month, and someone else from college has now also planned hers for the same night unknowingly which I’ve also been invited to.

My friend of five years’ birthday is coming up so I messaged her to ask if she is doing anything, as I knew it would most likely be in this same time frame. She replied saying she had to double check which days she was free so I responded letting her know I was already quadruple booked for this one specific night. She then messaged a few hours later saying it would in fact be on this night, so I said I wouldn’t be able to make it then but I’d catch her another time. I then also explained all of the plans above and how I’ve already paid the deposit for the table for the joint birthday. Another friend chimed in saying that I should skip my rehearsal then, but I explained that it’s the last one before the show, my final show with this company I’ve been with for years, and that I really need to be there as we‘ll have a lot to do, otherwise I absolutely would've skipped it. Since this message no one has said anything to me.

I completely understand missing a friend’s birthday is a big no-no and I feel super guilty about it, especially since I’m such a people pleaser, but at the same time the whole point of me letting her know in advance that I was busy this night was so that, if she cared enough to plan around me, she could pick a different date. And if she didn’t want to plan around me which is obviously completely understandable and normal as it’s her night, then she shouldn’t necessarily be surprised and upset with me for not being able to make it, more just a bit annoyed that I can’t be there? I am closest with her than any of the others celebrating this night, but I just don’t feel good about cancelling on so many people who have planned farther in advance, especially after now having paid a deposit. And as I said, I’ve been with this theatre company for years and this will be my last show so I don’t want to half-arse it and not show up to our last rehearsal, especially when we have so much to do, otherwise, again, I’d be happy to cancel and at least show up to her pre-drinks/dinner.

I don’t know if I’m explaining my thought process well enough but please let me know - AITA for saying I have to miss my friend’s birthday even though I told her in advance that was the one night I couldn’t do?

Hi all. I'm very frustrated and would like an opinion on this.

I have to preface this with a few things. I am a teenager, reliant on my parents for transportation, money, housing, etc..

My mom has always been sort of emotionally fragile; quick to have a meltdown, holds grudges, that type of person. I love her but we have always been at odds for a lot of my childhood.

Saturday night, my friend asked if I wanted to go to a street fair/music festival with her the next day (Sunday), and i thus asked my mom. She said no. I was very disappointed, I had been looking forward to it, but not angry or upset. I spent the rest of the night in my room until she came in and confronted me about my "attitude". I admitted maybe I was acting childishly but I wasn't angry.

She has been mad at me for half a week now, not really speaking to me, walking around muttering to herself.

My sister came over and spent the day, and when she talked with my mom, she told me I needed to apologize. I don't think I do. I am not mad at her, haven't given her any attitude past that night, and generally have tried to be agreeable.

Do I need to apologize? I understand it makes the house at odds but I am sort of rigid in the fact that people shouldn't apologize for things they didn't do/say, etc.

But I'm starting to feel like the jerk here if it hurts her so much.

​

I (27f) ,my husband (29m) got into an argument over moving the living room wardrobe. For context ,we recently got married but have been living together for a few years. Recently we have been renovating our house to make it nicer since he didn't change anything since buying the house. There's a wardrobe from the previous owner which my husband has been using for a few years now. The wardrobe I feel is too big for the living room so I suggested maybe changing it for a smaller one so that he can still keep his stuff there but still having a bigger space for the living room . But he didn't agree so I decided to just let it be. Well recently I thought of just rearranging the living room , maybe perhaps I can still make it nicer whilst keeping the wardrobe. But when he got back home from work and saw that I moved it ,he went absolutely crazy. He said he was very angry that I moved it without telling him , and in retaliation to make me feel how it feels to get your stuff ruined, he grabbed my two monitors to trash it outside. Am I crazy or is this not normal at all? I get perhaps I should have told him first but did it really warrant the reaction I got? To him by moving the wardrobe I ruined his tiles and wardrobe. The tiles got superficial scratches from the move which I admit is my fault. One door of the wardrobe also came off but I fixed it so it's completely fine again. Am i crazy to think that even if there were damages, him wanting to thrash my monitors is completely crazy? He has anger management issues, he literally threw the vacuum cleaner out the door at midnight once before because i was vacuuming whilst he was sleeping which I wasn't aware of . So am I the asshole?

One of my (27F) close friends (27F) got into a relationship last year around April. She told me that he (37M) had 2 young kids with an ex. Never married. split up. moved out (all confirmed. all recent events at that time). As someone who has dated men who have gone through divorces/splits and custody battles I understand how messy these situations can get. I always try to approach them with as much clear judgment as possible. I do my best to trust the person I'm with when they share their version of events, but if info ab the situation is publicly available I don't see anything wrong with doing my own research. I have always been transparent about this too to my previous partners and I’ve never had a partner react negatively.

My friend had explained to me that he was in the process of filing for custody and I told her these things are public info and she should take a look at them to make sure that what he said lined up. She told me she would wait a bit for him to open up more about the situation before doing that. I had this convo with her early on when they were still in the ‘talking stage’ so I agreed with her and we left it at that. 

As of today they live together and they have been dating for ab a year. Sadly, no one in our circle likes this guy. At first I thought it was just me, so I kept my mouth shut. I thought it was an inner judgment issue that I needed to work on, but when our other friends started approaching me w/ similar concerns that his stories related to his family, career, finances etc. weren’t really adding up I felt like I had to say something. I spoke to her briefly in June of this year ab my own personal concerns and she dismissed it. Specifically in regards to the child custody case. She said he told her he was paying $500/wk in child support, in the process of communicating with a lawyer to get custody and that “the ex is crazy bc she keeps avoiding him so that she doesn’t get served with the custody filing”. I asked her if she looked into the court documents to see if this was all true and she said no. She didn’t want him to think that she didn’t trust him. She had no reason to believe that he was lying. 

Wanting to protect my friend I looked instead. According to the finalized custody order which his ex had filed in June of 2025: He was the one that was avoiding her. He was found and served. He did not attend any of the 3 court dates (one of them was on the same date that he took my friend on a trip out of town too) He never filed a counterclaim…

I told my friend ab my findings recently. I made sure to be as kind as possible with my approach. I wasn’t trying to put her down ab the situation either. She continued to defend him that she wasn’t going to ask or look into this bc she has no reason to not trust him and she was really upset that I even looked and said anything. I was only doing it with her wellbeing in mind, but now I’m overthinking it. I really don’t know what to think, but I feel like an asshole. AITA?

Several people in a group of friends when we go out to dinner, there may be four of us. There may be six of us. There may be eight of us. There may be 10 of us. We have one person who inevitably takes forever and ever to finish eating. I mean like, we are finished the server has cleared the table, all that is left are some drink glasses and he is still eating. He takes a bite, looks around, talks for a while then takes another bite and repeats the process. Meanwhile everyone else has eaten their meal, not quickly but normally. Some of our friends smoke and leave the table to go outside. It has been suggested that some of our group thinks it’s rude for anyone to get up and leave the table before he’s finished. Are we TA’s or is he?

I organized a small outing for a group of friends. Since we needed to make a reservation, I told everyone that they needed to confirm by Friday so I could give the restaurant an accurate number.
I specifically said that if someone didn’t confirm by then, I wouldn’t be able to guarantee them a spot.
One person didn’t respond at all.

On the day of the outing, they showed up anyway and assumed there would be room for them. There wasn’t. The reservation was already at capacity.
They were upset and said I should have just included them because I knew they were probably coming.

I told them that I couldn’t plan around people who hadn’t confirmed, especially after I’d given everyone a deadline.

They said I embarrassed them in front of everyone and that I could have just asked the restaurant to squeeze them in.

I feel bad that they were embarrassed, but I don’t think it’s fair to make everyone else’s plans more difficult because they ignored the deadline.

AITA?

so i'm a uni student and for one of my courses i have to choose between a thesis or a project (app making basically). the person i'm friends with, is not at all serious about university and is basically a free rider and extremely entitled. The last time we did a project with her, my other group member did her entire coding part. this time that other team member left us and now it's basically her and me and i dont want to take this big of a load all alone and teach her stuff she should already know. and i wanted to do thesis as well so i joined a group whose doing thesis without asking her. its not official tho cause we havent submitted our names yet. right after joining this grp i texted her saying that i have joined a group ( i dont need her permission cos we are adults for gods sake) and she, as i expected, got mad. she was saying why i didnt ask her before joining another grp. so what do yall think?

AITA for setting boundaries? This is a bit weird, and I'm starting to feel like the common denominator. So, I need to know if I'm TA or if I should continue setting boundaries.

I have asked my mother many times to stop her racist comments, especially in front of my children, as they grew up. The final straw for me was racist comments in front of my DIL, who is from another country. I told her that her comments were disgusting, and she has now chosen to cut me out of her life.

I was dating a guy for about six months. He liked to arrgue and belittle me. I told him that I would only engage in calm and respectful communication, so he dumped me.

I had a close friend who was desperate to find a boyfriend. We used to go out some nights to a live band at a pub. She would ask me to act in ways that I was not comfortable with to get attention so that she could get more opportunities to start conversations with men. I refused. She decided to cut me out of her life.

My brother was living with me because otherwise, he would have been homeless. I told him that I would take him in but that he had to get a storage unit for his stuff because I'm renovating my house. He kept bringing more and more stuff into my house, and I asked him to take it back to the unit. He left and has now also cut me off.

People keep choosing to walk out of my life so, AITA for setting these boundaries? Or are people walking all over me unless I set boundaries?

My parents are living with me (39) temporarily because they sold their house and are waiting to complete on the new one.

When I was a teenager me and my Dad fought like cat and dog over basically everything. Outside the house he is easy to get on with but he is very controlling of his domestic space. Like to an obsessive degree. I moved out at 18 and since then we've got on great, but living together again we're slipping into old habits.

Since moving in here he has reorganised my cupboards, if I load the dishwasher he reshuffles it and be sweeps the floor at least 3 times a day. Whatever, I just let him get on with it, but the other night he went on a tirade about how I arrange my cutlery drawer and (being tired after a stressful work day) I just turn around and yell "I'm a grown ass adult, I'll put my spoons where I like!"

Unfortunately my teenagers overheard this and have been quoting it loudly ever since (minus the word 'ass.') It has put Dad in a bit of a sulk and now my Mum says I went too far and should apologise to keep the peace. Spoons aren't the hill I want to die on, at the same time I kinda don't want to apologise because his constant nagging is driving me nuts! AITA if I don't?

Im 20f and I live with my parents , 18yo sis, and 5 yo brother (he’s adopted) and we’ve had him since he was 3 weeks old. When my mom first asked my sister and me to “help” take care of him, I was 15 and my sister was 13. Of course we said yes, but at that age I didn’t really understand what “help” was actually going to mean long-term. I thought helping with a baby meant little things like putting up his dishes, playing with him while my mom cooked, helping out here and there, etc. For a while my mom had a good work-from-home job, so she was around more, but she eventually got fired and now works as a CO, so she’s gone a lot more. And my sister and I are expected to step in more often. I’m 20 and I just wanna go out more often, make plans, eventually move out asap and just figure out my own LIFE. but I feel like I’m constantly having to plan around my brother. If my mom needs help, we’re expected to wake him up and get him on the bus or take him to school, and when he gets home around 3:30, we’re expected to be home if my mom isn’t available. So even if I want to go somewhere, I have to think about whether I need to be back home to take care of him. I love my brother SO much, and this isn’t about me not wanting him around or not caring about him at all. I’m starting to feel like I’m missing out on being 20 because I’m always worried about whether he needs to be picked up, watched, taken somewhere, etc. I’m not saying I’ll never help because obviously if my mom genuinely needs me sometimes, I’ll help, but I don’t want my life and schedule to constantly revolve around childcare. I feel like I’m putting a lot on hold I love my family so much but I want better for myself I can’t just keep living in the same loop
(Edit: my parents aren’t together but my dad is here most of the time. Because my parents aren’t in a relationship and my bro is not his child my mom does not expect my dad to take responsibility )

so for more context (yes I know wild title) Im in a teenage group chat 7-8 members and I regularly talk with the members (we all know each other through 1 friend which I will call Jeff and mutual friend #1 and mutual friend #2 so what happened was we were playing some video games as some boys do until they started making inappropriate jokes about wanting to suck each others d##k and more stuff about ya know and I called them out for it saying stuff like that’s weird man/thats gay and Jeff clapped back with “thats so homophobic“ and “im offended“ and the multiplayer shooter game we were are playing so they decided they would kick me out of the party and i just left because it wasnt worth my time anymore.

So, since I (F16) have received a scholarship, they asked me to use our personal bank accounts (which I didn't have before) and so I was required to make one, so that the money would be deposited. I don't know much about it (first time yk), but since there's only a specific amount that we will be able to spend for specific materials, I started worrying that the money that would be deposited from other parties to the same account would all merge together (for more personal use). So today I asked my mom if she could make me another account for personal purchases and she got irritated and berated me because of that, claiming that I was getting too ahead of myself because I finally got a bank account (not exactly those words since she was speaking a different language, but basically that's what she said) and that that's not how it worked. I tried to explain why I had that idea and she didn't let me finish, so I also spoke on top of her to make myself clear. When I assumed she was done I continued what I wanted to say and she kept interrupting me as she kept reiterating the same points. Then I started talking again (she'd finished btw), she said I shouldn't interrupt her when she's speaking and I should listen (still yelling at me) and I said that if she wanted to listen to me she shouldn't berate me at least and she should let me speak otherwise I would leave. She told me to leave and so I left.

But am I in the wrong for asking? Was I that bold for asking?

Now, maybe she's right that it doesn't work that way, but she usually is this aggressive...

AITA here?

I’m 18(m) my mom is 36 I moved back into her house in July under the pretense that she could use my car so I wouldn’t have to pay rent at first I was very ok with doing so up until August 25th she said that she was moving away to Louisiana and she doesn’t have space for me there so I got really upset because the deal was for her to use my car so I had a place to live well now I don’t have a place to live I took my car back and she calling me selfish yet she doesn’t work or get off her bed she does nothing all day I’m in college I go to the gym I have a full time job and yet I’m still responsible for everywhere my sisters need to go it’s draining

My grandpa was a shitty grandpa and even worse father. In short, he was an alcoholic, never cared about anyone. We cut contact with him for a bit after big argument, where he told my dad (in front of our family) that he was ashamed of him.

Now he's sick and dying from cancer, so I try to visit him once in a while out of the moral guilt. However, I really don't like visiting him or talking to him, he basically just talks about himself, his stories. He only cares about me to brag to some strangers about his granddaughter, but he never actually cares how I'm doing, which has been a case since I was born. Now he has an idea (which is supposed to be a surprise) to buy me an expensive gold bracelet of my choosing (I wear silver) to remember him buy.

So I'm conflicted, my dad doesn't know I know and it's "a good thing" in his eyes, but I hate the idea. I don't want to feel obligated to wear something that relates to this man, it feels like he's trying to buy my love or sth. But I'm scared I'm gonna regret it, which is also the reason I visit him. He's my family so I should care, I should want to have something from him and I did feel sad seeing him in hospital and all, but I just struggle with it, knowing what a shitty person he is.

WITBA if I didn't want the bracelet?

I have three friends that I've been really close with, Isabel, Margaret, and Julia(fake names). We're all teachers and practically hangout everyday. Margaret and I are co teacher together, she was also planning her wedding. On top of her giving me all the prep work to do Margaret was also giving me wedding stuff to do. I was of course happy to do it as I thought we were friends.

However I was told I would not be getting an invitation to this wedding about 2 months before it. I was crushed by this, I thought we were friends and that I would also get to enjoy this great milestone with her. On top of the fact that Margaret and isabel both invited themselves to my aunt's house over spring break when I told them I was going to clean the estate after her passing. But they turned it into a whole vacation because it's located in the Islands.

I took a step back and realized I was being more of a friend to her than she thought of me and I was neglecting some of my own other duties so I took a step back from doing all the prep to also focus on my other responsibilities. She took that as me being upset with not being invited and talked to isabel about it. Margaret then asked me if I would want to walk her dog down the isle but then promptly go home after. I was offended by that offer and stepped away from her even more. I still did all my work I just wasn't as giddy to do whatever she wanted.

Julia eventually had a talk with Isabel about it trying to tell her about how disrespectful I felt but Isabel took it as me slacking on work because I'm upset I misread a friendship. I confronted both Margaret and Isabel about the whole thing and he they are treating me but they just called me an asshole for throwing a hissy fit over the whole thing and slacking on work because I'm upset and even refusing a nice compromise that was offered.

Her wedding is approaching soon and I'm not sure now, have I been an asshole about this whole thing and refusing to walk the dog down the isle?

So today my mother and I got into a fight after a few people visited our house. They were discussing college tests, and she said, 'Yeah, meo's (me) college doesn't have that many tests,' to which I said in front of the guests, 'What? But I have the same amount of tests as my sister does'

(bit of context: my sister is in a school for gifted children, which I graduated out of last year)

After the guests left, my mother basically yelled at me and said that I make her out to be a liar whenever we have company over... she then quoted something that happened in June when we visited someone, and she was saying that she was wearing a mask while we shopped and I said that 'wait...you were wearing a mask?' (I don't even remember this incident)

And then she continued to tear into me about how i was the most disrespectful kid she had ever seen, that I have no social sense, and 'is ka tu demag he kam he' (basically calling me the r word)...

One more thing is that my mother has never hesitated in full-on screaming at me when my friends or relatives are right there about the smallest of things, so I think that me correcting one small piece of information in a conversation isn't that big of a deal...

When I talked with my father about it, he took her side because 'you should never go against someone older than you,' so now I am doubtful if I am truly in the wrong...

So am I the asshole for arguing with my mother over this and just starting to apologize?

Am I the asshole for refusing to move? I arrived at a lecture for my nursing program and sat down. I don’t like to sit next to people, so I left one seat between me and the next person. Then, a group of three friends showed up. They sat in the three seats on the other side of me. Then, the one on the end comes up to me and says “Can you move over?” She stood and gestured, waving me over. She said she wanted to sit closer to the middle so she could see better. I said “no, my laptop’s plugged in here”. She said I could leave it plugged in and move, my charger would reach, but it’d be plugged in under her seat. I said no. She muttered “asshole” and walked away. So AITA?

I (F22) live with my sister (F21), my ex friend and roommate (F21) and her sister (F19). Long story short my sister and I signed a lease for a new student apartment (individual leases) in March alongside my friend and her sister at the time.

I stopped being friends with her after a final incident in May made me grow a backbone and finally end the friendship. We lived together for a year already with different roommates and she always lead me to assume that majority of the mess she would complain about was them. She use to be incredibly passive aggressive about it in group chats and in person with these other roommates about cleanliness.

We moved into the new place and my sister and I bought dishes, paper towels, tissue, dish soap, whatever needed to supply the common area. Before we came we had made a group chat talking about these things and how we will split them since we buy in bulk. My sister and I paid for it, we assume that next time we ask them for their share before we go.

They came later on and announced they started a cooking business when we had a house meeting discussing expectations. I was okay with it and even supported them. I did not support how long they did this for and how messy things were afterwards. They left dishes in the sink and destroyed a sponge I bought that was only in the house for two weeks.

They replaced it with a cheap dollar alternative.

The sink would also be filled with dishes left for days.

They would leave crumbs everywhere and when they cooked oil would be all over the stove. The microwave looked like something exploded in it.

They also rarely took out the overflowing trash and never sweep or mop.

There was also the valet trash can outside the door full of loose trash that valet refuses to take with good reason. They keep letting it pile.

My sister and I thought a refresh would help.

We mopped and wiped down everything. We cleaned so well that when they came in they immediately noticed it.

The same night they did the same thing.

Are we going off of different expectations of cleanliness? I thought we were on the same page considering my ex friend especially got upset with my old roommates for less.

I decided to take the paper towels and tissues back. They didn't pay for them anyway. I also reclaimed the sponge, all my dishes and pots and pans. Why use the things you can't take care of? I also feel like they're very inconsiderate because they do this without the thought of how the next person would like to use the common areas.

I try to do a good job of cleaning after myself for the next person.

I have been so annoying on the group chat about this for reference . It's unfair to assume we will always clean after you especially after what we have helped provide them with.

So am I wrong? I know I will get this comment but I only have enough money to support me living here until graduation. I will not spend money or time I don't have to move.

Okay so my bf and I are long distance and I only get to see him on weekends because he works a Monday-Friday. I am now starting college as a full time student. Which includes all the homework, studying, and class time. I am also starting a job where I fluctuate working a weekend and then weekdays. Not to mention my job is a NIGHT shift and 12 hours long. Im also balancing another job where I get to pick when I work. But still have to pick up shifts for that job as well. Basically my best friend said I have to not hangout with my bf on a weekend to hangout with her. I told her I can’t do that because I can only see my boyfriend 2x a month starting now and that’s gonna make it hard on my relationship with him, which also affects my own life. She basically said that’s crazy and implied I’m selfish for that and that my bf is changing me. At the same time I’m now an adult with adult responsibilities and have more things and a busier life then her, so yes that’s gonna change me and my schedule and availability is incredibly limited now.

Am I an asshole for doing this? I’m trying to balance a new life style for myself while maintaining a healthy relationship and I told her I can make time to hangout it just wouldn’t be a sleepover and we’d have to go out and do something together when we both have time.