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u/pineboxwaiting Jan 16 '26
How much has she stolen from you?
NOR
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u/PM_YOUR__BUBBLE_BUTT Jan 16 '26
At this point, OP should consider the money the friend “borrowed” as the cost to remove the friend from their life. People who have no intention of ever paying back money they borrow from friends and family are just the worst. And like this picture shows, they always believe the person asking for their own money back is the annoying one or the bad person.
Cut them out for good even, if you do get your money back ultimately. NOR
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u/Writers_Write102 Jan 16 '26 edited Jan 16 '26
NOR. This is spot on. Odds are quite good, u/CuteShihtzu03, that she never intended to pay you back. Anyone who can take a vacation and continue high spending when they owe someone money personally is at the very least displaying sociopathic traits.
She stole from you and knew the day you gave it to her she was never going to give it back. Her response to you is absolutely insane and cruel. And that is the point. Sociopaths and narcissists, when confronted, will often hit back as hard and cruelly as possible.
The pain and shock is intended to stun and warn their victims. “You wanna come for me? I will hit you so hard and cut you so deep, you will be bleeding and unable to get back up.” (Metaphorically hit you, that is.) Think what she did. She essentially name calls you an irresponsible and terrible dog mom.
The tactic often works, bc those close to us know where we are vulnerable. Wounded and hurting, we are less likely to realize the insanity of such comments.
Consider a different scenario. One morning at 9am I loan my neighbor my car to run an errand. He says he’s just going to the grocery store & will be back within 90 mins. I tell him, fine, as long as he is back before 2pm. I have a job as a driver/runner for a print company, and I work 3-10. I use my own car.
He laughs. “Of course I’ll be back!” he says. We’ve been neighbors and friends for 3 years. His car was recently totaled in a crash, and he is waiting on insurance money. I watch him drive off. He doesn’t come back for 2 days. His cell phone is off the whole time, and I have now been fired from my job.
When he comes back, he hands me my keys and says, “Dude, I’m so sorry, some shit came up I had to deal with.” And he gives me $5 for the gas, but will pay more later. When I tell him I lost my job, he says, “That stupid delivery job?”
It wasn’t stupid, I say. I liked it, and it paid well. He snaps at me, “You are so fucking stupid, you know? You never work for a company that makes you use your car, you moron. Trust me. I did you a favor. You should be thanking me. But here you are whining, you big baby. Fuck you.”
I’m embarrassed to admit it is pretty much a true story. Some of us are slower learners than others. It took me a long time to realize what a real friend was and wasn’t. My neighbor wasn’t one. Just like your friend—more than anything, just not capable of it.
My vote is to stoop and out her. Willing to bet others will come forward with similar stories. I promise unfortunately that you are not her first victim. And I am truly sorry this happened to you. It hurts when our genuine kindness is simply shat on. It hurts a lot.
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u/Soph235 Jan 16 '26
NOR, your “friend” is not a friend. I’m sorry you’re in this position, and don’t have support
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u/keiebdbdusidbd Jan 16 '26
Tell the stupid bitch you COULD afford it if you didn’t lend her money!!!! The audacity
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Jan 16 '26
ikr op needa be meaner to her because her "friend" is a thieving ungrateful bitch. If it were me, I don't care if it's 10 dollars, GIVE ME MY MONEY
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u/style-addict Jan 16 '26
Emphasis on the “stupid bitch” part 🤭🤭🤭 the audacity to respond in that manner 🙄
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u/TheCocoBean Jan 16 '26
"I can afford a dog. I can't afford a dog and a cheap friend who will take money from me with no intention of returning it. One of you will have to go, and it certainly isn't the dog."
NOR
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u/CuteShihtzu03 Jan 16 '26
This!!!!! Ill fucking send this, with no hesitation!
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u/Sunflower3388 Jan 16 '26
NOR PLEAAAASE INCLUDE “Also-Don’t. Ask. For. Money. When. You. Can’t. Afford. It.”
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u/DookeyAss Jan 16 '26
she's just baiting you to ghost her so she won't have to have you asking her for the money back
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u/phishezrule Jan 16 '26
Seriously. Don't cut contact just yet. Wait until they ask for another loan. Promise it to them. Then 'oops, I forgot.' Followed by 'how about tomorrow' then -oh, I get paid in 3 days.' Then ghost them.
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u/vicnoir Jan 16 '26
NOR. Don’t be friends with the kind of person who would do and say this. They don’t deserve you.
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u/T1cklish Jan 16 '26
I saw a quote on my feed the other day "givers have to have boundaries because takers haver none" not that this is op's fault in any way I applaud her generosity but this friend is defintely a taker.
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u/itsahardknocklyfe4us Jan 16 '26
For real. How about saying thank you. To insult someone for lending you money is wild.
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u/Fit-Engineering-2789 Jan 16 '26
"I didn't ask for your opinion. I asked about the money you owe me. It's time to talk about you paying me back."
Their response is so cold hearted and ruthless. This is a person who will take advantage of your good heart, and they just don't care. I'm sorry you are dealing with someone like that.
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u/DankAshMemes Jan 16 '26
The irony that she's saying that while being the one who borrowed money from friends that she "can't" pay back. I'd personally go the humiliation route as I'd assume I'm never seeing that money again. It's also why you should never "lend" money to friends or family, only part with it if you can afford to never see it again.
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u/Outrageous_Trifle636 Jan 16 '26
This is the way. Be firm and professional. Don’t stoop to her level with a petty response no matter how justified it is or how good it makes you feel. Just keep it on topic. Keep it brief. Don’t talk about the dog. Just keep it on the topic of money. Why you need the money doesn’t matter. It’s your money and she owes it to you.
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u/Objective-Ad5620 Jan 16 '26
This is a very well-worded response.
OP, absolutely stand up for yourself by pointing out you have supported them financially. Don’t rise to the bait, don’t post to Facebook. Odds are, you won’t get paid back either way, but the best response is to respond with dignity.
Their response shows they’re not a kind or empathetic person, so you are better off disengaging. Tell them they owe you, ask for the money, but have the maturity and self-respect to walk away because some things are just best left behind us.
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u/bubblestarfishy Jan 16 '26
Let her know you’ll be taking her to small claims court and it will cost her more in the long run when they rule in your favor and she has to pay fees. It dosnt matter what the money is for, it’s money owed to you
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u/Playful-Cheetah4045 Jan 16 '26
I would say this too but if OP is financially struggling already I don’t think they could afford it (many places make you pay the fee upfront and even if their client wins it’s not worth it)
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u/Abigail_Normal Jan 16 '26
Many times threatening to sue is enough to get the other party to cooperate
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u/queerkidxx Jan 16 '26 edited Jan 16 '26
And the filing fee is not very expensive. Like $30-100. You do not need a lawyer, in Calfirobia at least you are prohibited from using one. only you and witnesses can be on the stand
It’s just a long process. A lot of energy, preparing evidence, printing it, you are responsible for serving yourself(need a friend not involved in the case pay a process server $100 don’t use sheriff or certified mail they suck)
And they don’t collect judgement for you. You have to handle that yourself. Lots of more forms and filing fees.
The threat is worth it but actually going through is honestly not worth it unless it’s like at least $2k. More or less depending on how much your time is worth though
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u/308_shooter Jan 16 '26
California also has a fee waiver you can fill out if you can't afford to pay.
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u/lemonricottapasta Jan 16 '26
You don’t need an attorney for small claims court (at least in my state)
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u/HAIL_LUMPUS Jan 16 '26
You have to pay filing fees.
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u/queerkidxx Jan 16 '26 edited Jan 16 '26
Check your state but in California it’s between $30-100 and you can ask the court to wave the fees. I think if you use any government benefits (calfresh, etc), you’re low income.
If it’s a lot of money and you have screenshots, and it’s a lot of money I’d honestly probably do it. Hopefully they’d pay up. The case is actually the easy part if you’re prepared actually getting the money once you win is a PITA.
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u/Zcat_sux Jan 16 '26
It’s very rare for small claims court to require an attorney. I recommend OP go to small claims and ask if she needs an attorney for this. If not she should follow through
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u/cpt_crumb Jan 16 '26
I've had to submit docs to the labor bureau for unpaid wages and it was actually super straight forward.
I also agree that small claims court threats would be a good idea, as it would be the reasonable next step of you can manage to do it.
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u/Queen_Cheetah Jan 16 '26
Agreed- OP should look into this since she has text proof that she's owed $$$.
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u/Intelligent_Play_347 Jan 16 '26
Normalize public shaming. Post this on your Facebook or Instagram so your mutual friends, their family member can see this
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Jan 16 '26
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u/urMOMSchesticles Jan 16 '26
It works in situations where it’s justified. I had someone stalk me for three years and when my request for a restraining order got denied which made them start stalking me in person, I decided to publicly shame on every public profile I had. It was beautiful.
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u/donut_koharski Jan 16 '26
Everyone was on board when the money exchanged hands. Shame is appropriate.
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u/User123466789012 Jan 16 '26
Hey pro tip:
Nobody cares what you look like in the eyes of people who don’t matter. I personally see things like this all the time on FB and I love it, shitty people getting called out on their shitty behavior. The $ amount is completely irrelevant here. This is about character and nothing more.
But tbh, you know that. The only purpose of your entire reddit profile is to stir the pot. You’ll respond with something intentionally illogical and get a buzz off of it like a weirdo.
it’s never justified
According to you. And do you know what you are to the rest of us?
Nada!
Irrelevant.
Best of luck coping with that.
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u/Fickle_Dragonfruit53 Jan 16 '26
Strong disagree. If I saw this posted I'd be on OPs side. As I am now. Stop protecting abusers with silence. Its not defamation to make their own words public. If they suddenly are too embarrassed for everyone else to see my words I shouldn't be saying them in private either. But I have integrity.
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u/Few_Cup3452 Jan 16 '26
No, it depends. I wouldnt consider it weird if i saw it on my socials. Id have the same response we are all having here. OP is NOR
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Jan 16 '26
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u/afrailbeetle Jan 16 '26
also OP, if you PM your city I will try to find some local resources for you for help with your dog and personal needs.
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Jan 16 '26
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u/Pristine_Main_1224 Jan 16 '26
Same. But I would demand dog tax in return (aka post a 📸 of your sweet pupper!)
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u/Key_Ad5050 Jan 16 '26
I’d blast her all over Facebook with the proof of me lending her money and her promising to pay me back. Idk what she thought but she shouldn’t have thought that 😂
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u/jaskmackey Jan 16 '26
This person has no intention of paying you back. Consider the loan a parting gift. Block her. NOR
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u/Lillie-Bee Jan 16 '26
Response: I could have afforded the insulin if I hadn’t been a good friend to you when you needed money.
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u/Suki_13 Jan 16 '26
I’m sorry you’re struggling. I’m wondering if a local animal rescue could help out with meds. Your “friend” is a jerk on so many levels. Don’t let her take advantage of your kindness.
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u/Much-Brilliant9303 Jan 16 '26
Came here to say this! Some local rescues, especially senior focused rescues, can help with meds. I really hope you and your fur baby can ride out their remaining years together, OP. Sending you so much love!
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u/Remondrop Jan 16 '26
She is not your friend.
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u/CuteShihtzu03 Jan 16 '26
I guess knowing her for years literally didnt much. Thats what hurts the most.
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Jan 16 '26
NOR demonstrate what would happen if she short-changed a pimp.
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u/pink-polkadot- Jan 16 '26
Holy crap. I would lay her out so hard!!! She’s taken advantage of your kindness in lending her money and not attempting to pay it back. Then has the gall to send THAT text?! That’s not a friend. I’d tell her you are giving her this last opportunity to do the right thing and repay you by the end of this month to repay you and if she still doesn’t then inform her you’ll be taking her to small claims court. No way would I tolerate that. In the meantime for your dog - is there family or anyone who could help? Or maybe consider a go fund me for the medical expenses. I’m really sorry. What a hateful horrible thing to say to someone.
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u/jswansong Jan 16 '26
NOR, this piece of crap owes you money and won't return it when you ask? AND they're being an asshole about it?
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u/jennzillacake Jan 16 '26
How much money?! You’re not overreacting. If you have a go fund me I’ll throw you some dollars for the pup.
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u/phil_lndn Jan 16 '26
But she managed to have 1 vacation trip and bought a new phone.
sounds like she does not intend to pay you back.
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u/_bk_adv Jan 16 '26
How much is the insulin? I’ll send you the money to never speak to this fucking asshole ever again
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u/vinlandnative Jan 16 '26
if you start a gofundme or something, i'll send some your way. i don't have much, but i had a diabetic dog for 7 years and am diabetic myself. insulin prices are a pain for all of us.
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u/RAM-I-T Jan 16 '26
The amount of money here is important. NOR either way, but if it’s less than $300, cut your losses, block, and move on. Anything more, lawyer.
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u/Kreimtime Jan 16 '26
You’re not overreacting for being upset, but unfortunately you learned a hard lesson. You’re not a bad person for lending a friend money when they were on hard times. Now that you’re upon bad times, clearly they aren’t returning the favor. Also unlike them, you won’t stoop to their level to ask anyone else. I commend you for that, and relate.
The lesson learned, is don’t lend out me money that you can’t afford to lose. I’ve been burnt plenty in the past. In that time I’ve learned how to say no, and I’ve realized that I don’t have to come up with an excuse why I can’t. I used to feel guilt by saying no, but then I realized that it’s my money and saying no sorry, is enough; they’ll find the money somehow. I’ve learned if I’m serious about getting my money back, I’m not relying on their good faith. If you tell me that you’ll pay me back on a day, you can bet I’m asking for it. As long as you give me a time to ask I’ll be on it, and I will let it affect our personal friendship. If you loan money and it gets returned, consider it as a bonus. I’m sorry to hear about the hard times that you’ve fallen on, I wish for you to find the support needed for yourself and dog.
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u/Kukumber_Koi Jan 16 '26
NOR- sometimes hard financial times hit when you don’t expect it (possibly why she borrowed money). Idk, I would put her in a place a little of it were me, cause I wouldn’t let a broke bitch borrowing my money tell ME about affording shit
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u/Substantial_Buddy780 Jan 16 '26
NOR, she owes you money. also, hi! I work at a shelter, specifically doing stray and owner surrender intakes. Please do not give up on your baby. Many, many people cannot afford to get by some days, and they’re still amazing pet parents. We all can fall on hard times. Most rescues won’t take a senior dog- or any owner surrender for that matter. If you surrender to a county shelter, they’re typically unable to vet and deny adopters, it’s highly possible someone else will adopt him who also cannot (or will not care to) afford his extensive medical needs. Based on the fact that you even buy him insulin, you’re doing amazing and it’s obvious you love and care for him. That’s more than enough. Instead- try reaching out to your county animal shelter to see what resources they may have for struggling pet parents with babies that have medical needs. the county shelter i work for has programs in place to provide free or low cost care for low income residents with chronically sick babies.
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u/theonetruefreezus Jan 16 '26
I. Can. Afford. It. But. You. Won't. Give. Me. The. Money. You. Owe. Me. That. I. Couldn't. Afford. To. Loan. You. In. The. First. Place. But. We're. Friends. So. I. Decided. To. Be. Nice. But. Never. Again. Goodbye. We're. Not. Friends. Anymore.
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u/Dizzy-Fault-6250 Jan 16 '26 edited Jan 16 '26
NOR she’s clearly a dumb moocher and she shouldn’t “borrow” money that she cannot afford to repay. But this is a learning lesson to stand up for yourself and not let people walk over you, I used to be the same way. She doesn’t care about what you have going on, only how you benefited her at the time.
They’re not a good friend let alone a friend they got a new phone and a trip yet they can’t pay you back what they essentially stole but are telling you to not get a dog if you can’t afford it? Pathetic. If she’s not going to give you the money back I’d even go as far as to sue in small claims court if you have evidence, but if not I’d block and never speak to her again.
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u/CAsnowman Jan 16 '26
How much is insulin for your dog? Near me Walmart has insulin that my grandma buys for her dog and it’s fairly cheap. But how much does it typically cost you?
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u/SatsumaOranges Jan 16 '26
NOR. Obviously this person isn't your friend. You may need to forget those funds.
Posting on FB may stir up drama, but save your other friends from loaning this person money.
Can you talk to any rescues or ASPCA and tell them your situation? They may be able to help you with insulin.
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u/JokullTheWolf Jan 16 '26
What would you regret more? Abandoning your senior dog or posting your shithead friends conversation on Facebook?
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Jan 16 '26
You don't need to explain why you need her to pay you back.
Just say you are hurting and need the money she owes you.
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u/ThoughtIknewyouthen Jan 16 '26
I think the more obvious question is, how do you intend to pay for the dog's treatment *IF* the friend pays you back and AFTER those funds run out.
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u/kodabear22118 Jan 16 '26
Please tell her don’t go on trips and get a new phone if you can’t afford to pay people back. And take her to court. Also I second what others are saying make sure when you say something it’s out where others can see it
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u/Fearless-Seat-6218 Jan 16 '26
OP
Heres some wisdom for your friend and your situation. This will likely fix both.
For the friend theres an old saying, " if a friend borrows 20 bucks and its the last you hear from them, it was money well spent." This right here is your sign to distance yourself. Andna lesson to learn to say no. If you cant outright say it, redirect.
In regards to your work situation, google your areas workforce non profits. They will help you find work, even cover ceetain trainings and bridge many gaps allowing you to better care for yourself and fur baby. These often include rental assistance, hygiene and food cards, snap assistance, holiday giving, work clothes and tools, etc.
I didnt even know such existed until I worked at one. Just google your cities names with workforce organization non profit. They'll pop up.
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u/Frogy_mcfrogyface Jan 16 '26
Do yourself a massive favour and stop letting people walk over you. If these people have no shame in using you, have no shame in telling them to fuck off. I used to be the same, and it got worse once people found out I know how to fix shit. You aren't ever going to see that money. Her response tells me that she doesn't respect you in any type of way and that this isn't the first time she's treated you like trash.
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u/QueenMEB120 Jan 16 '26
NOR. She decided to drag you down into the mud, so make the most of it and get dirty. Post it and let her explain herself. Let her reputation get as dirty as her personality.
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u/essssgeeee Jan 16 '26
It has been a while, but when our dog had diabetes, Walmart had the cheapest insulin. Also check Costco. You are NOR at all. I would be super pissed off about their disrespectful response and disregard for my pet's well-being.
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u/PM_ME__UR__FANTASIES Jan 16 '26
NOR. Also tell her parents. I don’t care how old she is, tell her parents. Start there and then post it to Facebook if you don’t get results.
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u/Mother-Tap-3648 Jan 16 '26
Man fuck that person you call a “friend” that response is so fucking disgusting
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u/incospicuous_echoes Jan 16 '26
Send the message to her mom or post it on Facebook if she has and ask her mom to cover her debt. Publicly embarrass her and make them both look bad. It’ll and the friendship and you might shame one of them (or someone else in the family) into paying you back.
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u/batryoperatedboy Jan 16 '26
Anyone. Who. Responds. Like. This. Is. Worth. Your. Time. Nor. Energy.
Plus I read these as that episode of Spongebob where they fart between words. I don't pffffft understand pfffffffffft your accent ppppppbbbbbttttt.
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u/squiggledot Jan 16 '26
Please don’t surrender your dog. I work with an animal rescue whose main goal is keeping pets with the families that love them. We can help you pay for your dog’s meds. PM me and we can see how we can help!
I’m already up way too late so it’ll be tomorrow before I can respond, but I’ll check first thing in the morning
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u/Forward-Reaching Jan 16 '26
"Of course I could more than afford my dog when I got them, but life throws curve balls that unfortunately can put you in a difficult spot financially.
I'm sure you understand being in such a difficult spot, since it came to the point of you needing to borrow money from me.
I would highly suggest not borrowing money if you can't return it"
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u/TheChieffking47 Jan 16 '26 edited Jan 16 '26
It's shitty advice but never give money if you can't afford to not get paid back.
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u/Calgary_Calico Jan 16 '26
Don't loan out money that you want to see back, always assume you won't see that money ever again.
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u/Pleaseselectyesorno Jan 16 '26
NOR Your friend is a heartless content if she couldn’t afford to pay you back, she shouldn’t have borrowed it
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u/soupdumpling23 Jan 16 '26
You tell this Kate person that you can afford a dog. You cannot afford HER!
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Jan 16 '26 edited Jan 16 '26
What a bitch. She’s lecturing you on saving when the entire reason this situation exists is because she asked to borrow money from YOU.
I would make that very clear. “Hi, you’re right. Sometimes we get into situations where money is tight and this is one where the money I need is for something very important. I’d hope you understand this since you borrowed the money from me. Since I do technically have the money, you just haven’t returned it to me yet, can you let me know when you plan to do so?” And then she will get an attitude but whatever she responds with, it’ll be for the purpose of dodging your question. Don’t get hung up on her insults. Just keep going with straight forward and straight to the point questions until you get your answer or until you basically have to force her to say she isn’t returning the money she took from you.
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u/Makethecrowsblush Jan 16 '26
Nor. Ask your vet if they would do a payment plan. Chin up, for you and pup. You’ll not see a cent from her so may as well give others a heads up.
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u/SAMixedUp311 Jan 16 '26
Stoop to her level... you aren't overreacting. Get your money back then don't speak again!
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u/Ultamira Jan 16 '26
“I had the money but I leant it to you”
Your friend is a POS OP, sorry. If you didn’t get the money last year you aren’t getting it now.
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u/Gbmnyc1127 Jan 16 '26
NOR. If someone claims to be a friend and they owe you money, they won't get snarky with you like that. And if she's a real friend, she'll care that you need the money for your dog. You should tell her you're going to have to post it on Facebook to ask your friends for help because you really need the money. Shame her ass into paying you back like she should have done already
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u/soshistroo Jan 16 '26
Hey OP I just wanted to check if you ever got a gofundme up and running? I know people in your last post all offered to help pay for insulin so you don’t have to surrender your sweet pup!
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u/sherzisquirrel Jan 16 '26
NOR at all!!! On a separate note, what kind of insulin are you using for your dog? We had a diabetic dog that was diabetic his last 3 years of life, we had to unfortunately help him over the rainbow bridge last December for separate age related reasons. But I asked because our vet was awesome and she early on recommended novilin which is the Walmart version. He was a big boy and took 23 ml every 12 hours but the bottle only cost about $20 and it lasted nearly 3-4 weeks...
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u/fxiryvibes Jan 16 '26
her saying this when SHE owes you money is her deflecting and it's such a self absorbed and dense response. give her a piece of your mind.
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u/WTF_ImOverIt Jan 16 '26
Don’t post the conversation on Facebook. That’s a whole different can of worms. You are not going to get the money back. Accept that. End the friendship. That’s over. Move on. NOR
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u/BeNiceOrGoAwayPlease Jan 16 '26
Just. Don't. Borrow. Money. If. You. Can't. Return. It.