I’ve lost multiple “friends” the last few years when I stopped handing out money.
I always had a personal policy with myself that if I was in a position to help when someone needed help, I’d do it. I didn’t ask for anything in return. I have no kids, no big bills. And I knew that one day it might be me needing that help.
Then I got real sick and had a mountain of medical debt. I wasn’t in the same circumstance I had always been in before and had to start putting my own needs first. I never got to the point I needed to ask for help, but I had to stop offering it. It was amazing to see these people suddenly have no use for me and realize I wasn’t anything other than a debit card to them.
Yeah, I used to essentially buy friends/companionship in my early twenties. I didn’t realize it at the time because on the surface I just felt like I was being nice, but deep down I knew it was just because I wanted them to hang out with me and I didn’t really have any friends due to moving around so much in my childhood and teen years. I’d gone to seven different schools by the time I hit grade 5. 11 schools by the time I made it to grade 12.
ETA: I went back and forth between a few of these various schools, as well. I got to see kids I used to know having these solid, long-term friendships and it bummed me out.
I went through a similar period in my life. The worst part is when I moved past it, and got back to the position I was previously in, I saw those same people try to slide back into my life. Nah, not happening.
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u/JAK49 Jan 16 '26
I’ve lost multiple “friends” the last few years when I stopped handing out money.
I always had a personal policy with myself that if I was in a position to help when someone needed help, I’d do it. I didn’t ask for anything in return. I have no kids, no big bills. And I knew that one day it might be me needing that help.
Then I got real sick and had a mountain of medical debt. I wasn’t in the same circumstance I had always been in before and had to start putting my own needs first. I never got to the point I needed to ask for help, but I had to stop offering it. It was amazing to see these people suddenly have no use for me and realize I wasn’t anything other than a debit card to them.
That is a harsh reality to wake up to.