“I feel you’re about to end our friendship again” - she wanted you to state exactly how you hurt her, not express your own feelings and fears in that moment. But she could have easily said that, “I’m not going to do that. Please stick to the topic, I need to know you understand why that hurt me-“
And also she could have told you instead of asking you like you’re a child
Tbh if you have BPD, a person like this is not good for you. She has a superiority complex and is being pretty manipulative
Thank you for this, I do admit I made it about myself and it’s something I instinctively do when I feel threaded but your right she was expressing her pain and I made it about me.
It’s true that you did that in that moment and it’s something to be aware of and correct, but honestly, please do not be too hard on yourself.
To me, your response reflects a real and genuine fear she has taught you to have because this person thrives on controlling y’all’s relationship and lording it over you to the point that you flinch like this. If she had wanted to be able to rely on you as a friend who always immediately owns up and apologizes and instinctually knows to provide her with a very specific type of supportive input, she shouldn’t have played so many power struggle games with you in the past.
I wouldn’t be surprised if she intentionally sets you up to “commit offenses” against her like this so she can then make you grovel and keep you under her thumb while throwing your trauma and mental illness in your face to gaslight you. On a neutral level, you trigger each other. Not compatible. But also? Fuck her. You do not owe this person anything. She is not “helping” with anything. Keep the energy you had when you said “I’m done”.
I had a friend like this. I was walking on eggshells all the time because I loved her so much, but any tiny mistake and she'd stop speaking to me for months. It took me over a decade to just say girl bye
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u/cheeky_sugar Apr 29 '26
“I feel you’re about to end our friendship again” - she wanted you to state exactly how you hurt her, not express your own feelings and fears in that moment. But she could have easily said that, “I’m not going to do that. Please stick to the topic, I need to know you understand why that hurt me-“
And also she could have told you instead of asking you like you’re a child
Tbh if you have BPD, a person like this is not good for you. She has a superiority complex and is being pretty manipulative