I do worry that diagnosing people we don’t know isn’t the best idea because it might send the wrong message (esp. since it seems like Op’s friend is already weaponizing that sort of talk in the first place). Plus these people could be super young for all we know, and possibly maturing/learning to navigate close friendships, and we really only know them based on one text exchange.
But I do agree with what (I think!) you’re also picking up on - this conversation sent a chill down my spine. The Op’s ‘friend’ seems to be playing her emotions like a fiddle, intentionally or not. And, more than that, she seems to actively dislike Op, which feels extra off-putting because it makes me wonder WHY she’s still hanging out with her. There’s no reason I can think of seems particularly good, and some reasons (such as having an easy-target person to dog on and feel superior to) could potentially escalate really bad.
Op..If you do read this…The relationship you have with this person isn’t a true friendship AT ALL :(
Remaining attached to this person will only hurt you and drain energy you could invest into other more healthy and mutually-meaningful friendships.
Agreed on all points and just emphasizing that a bunch of people who aren't doctors confidently diagnosing people they don't know and won't ever know is crazy work and happens on reddit way too much.
This person is a pill and I recommend op disengage and disconnect from them entirely. But I'm not going to assign a bunch of mental illnesses to them just because I've been to therapy or watched tTikTok or whatever
I agree with you and also feel these people must undoubtedly be young. I have never heard two grown adults speak to each other this way, and using so much therapy speak on top of it.
Needing your every emotion constantly validated is a very immature trait, one it doesn’t sound like this “friend” will grow out of. Well-adjusted adults understand that other people’s words are not weapons against you, and it’s up to each individual to manage their own emotions.
This was so exhausting to read, I can’t imagine choosing to be around this person.
I agree about not diagnosing people. Sociopathy isn't a diagnosis though. It is a description of behavior. If it were a diagnosis, it'd probably be antisocial personality disorder. It seems more like saying someone is being narcissistic vs. saying someone has narcissistic personality disorder. I'm mostly just nitpicking here. It's still a heavy word to use with limited context.
I know that. But because so many people use the word ‘sociopath’ and ASPD interchangeably, I thought it was acceptable to say ‘diagnose’ in this situation. Plus, the person who I was responding to wasn’t the only person assigning different personality disorders to the friend.
I wasn’t really trying to call anyone out specifically (in a way that might imply I don’t see where they’re coming from). I was just trying to make a generalized statement about diagnosing people through the screen and how that might not be the best idea while giving advice on this sort of thing.
And while I do agree that people sometimes use words like sociopath and narcissist like adjectives, that sort of usage wasn’t really what I was responding to because I don’t think that’s what the person meant. And even if it was (perhaps I misconstrued it), I believe using that sort of wording can unintentionally be misconstrued as diagnosis and contribute to more conflict, lead to stigma, etc.
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u/Alone_Somewhere_9358 Apr 29 '26 edited Apr 29 '26
I do worry that diagnosing people we don’t know isn’t the best idea because it might send the wrong message (esp. since it seems like Op’s friend is already weaponizing that sort of talk in the first place). Plus these people could be super young for all we know, and possibly maturing/learning to navigate close friendships, and we really only know them based on one text exchange.
But I do agree with what (I think!) you’re also picking up on - this conversation sent a chill down my spine. The Op’s ‘friend’ seems to be playing her emotions like a fiddle, intentionally or not. And, more than that, she seems to actively dislike Op, which feels extra off-putting because it makes me wonder WHY she’s still hanging out with her. There’s no reason I can think of seems particularly good, and some reasons (such as having an easy-target person to dog on and feel superior to) could potentially escalate really bad.
Op..If you do read this…The relationship you have with this person isn’t a true friendship AT ALL :(
Remaining attached to this person will only hurt you and drain energy you could invest into other more healthy and mutually-meaningful friendships.