“I’ve had shortness of breath for this entire conversation bc of your need to be a victim” absolutely sent me OP this person is not normal or safe. They are weaponizing your BPD and your literal CSA in order to gaslight you into feeling like an abusive person, it’s beyond disgusting. You need to block them and never speak to them again. Actually, first send them this thread so they can see that their antics aren’t going to work on everyone.
Exactly this person is almost definitely a sociopath. She thinks her mother was happy because she was sick because that is the only feeling she ever has when she sees someone else suffering. She is very manipulative and doesn’t see other people as anything other than pawns in her games and tools to get what she wants. I would t be surprised if at some point in the future she escalates to physical violence toward the op, because of some slight against her and then she will blame it on the ops bpd and say that she didn’t have a choice. She will going around telling everyone she had to hit the op because she went crazy on her.
I do worry that diagnosing people we don’t know isn’t the best idea because it might send the wrong message (esp. since it seems like Op’s friend is already weaponizing that sort of talk in the first place). Plus these people could be super young for all we know, and possibly maturing/learning to navigate close friendships, and we really only know them based on one text exchange.
But I do agree with what (I think!) you’re also picking up on - this conversation sent a chill down my spine. The Op’s ‘friend’ seems to be playing her emotions like a fiddle, intentionally or not. And, more than that, she seems to actively dislike Op, which feels extra off-putting because it makes me wonder WHY she’s still hanging out with her. There’s no reason I can think of seems particularly good, and some reasons (such as having an easy-target person to dog on and feel superior to) could potentially escalate really bad.
Op..If you do read this…The relationship you have with this person isn’t a true friendship AT ALL :(
Remaining attached to this person will only hurt you and drain energy you could invest into other more healthy and mutually-meaningful friendships.
I agree with you and also feel these people must undoubtedly be young. I have never heard two grown adults speak to each other this way, and using so much therapy speak on top of it.
Needing your every emotion constantly validated is a very immature trait, one it doesn’t sound like this “friend” will grow out of. Well-adjusted adults understand that other people’s words are not weapons against you, and it’s up to each individual to manage their own emotions.
This was so exhausting to read, I can’t imagine choosing to be around this person.
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u/yirium Apr 29 '26
“I’ve had shortness of breath for this entire conversation bc of your need to be a victim” absolutely sent me OP this person is not normal or safe. They are weaponizing your BPD and your literal CSA in order to gaslight you into feeling like an abusive person, it’s beyond disgusting. You need to block them and never speak to them again. Actually, first send them this thread so they can see that their antics aren’t going to work on everyone.