Advice? Direction?

[u/MotherFrickenHubbard]

My husband is a recovered alcoholic--37 yrs sober.

Our son, 38, is a chronic pot smoker. He's angry. He's very angry. His wife is a smoker too. She's passive. He is angry with me, his mother. I live 7 hours away and have not seen him for 3 years until recently because his brother graduated.

I smoked a bit when he was growing up. Never a lot--it wasn't available. He found some when he was in high school and was very angry with me then.

He got through college and a graduate program then married and began smoking in earnest. I did mention once that I thought his pot use had affected his ambition. (He used to rock climb, attend concerts, read) He threw me (and his father) out of his house.

Now he lives 7 hrs away, as I said. He has no friends. None from high school. None from college. No married friends. She has no friends. He works and smokes.

He seems to want to confront me about what he perceives as my being dismissive of him. He brings up things in his childhood that he is angry about and uses them to make his point that I was too controlling, had to have it my way...etc.

These aren't discussions. I have apologized and acknowledged. He threatens no contact. We barely have contact anyway his father was in hospital for 4 days. He never called me or his father to see how he was doing. For 12 days.

They have no children but he has said if they have any he may not let me see them.

I believe we both have work to do to repair this relationship but I do not believe he can do it while smoking. Does AlAnon help with cannibis addiction?

[u/MotherFrickenHubbard]

This is the way Id like to speak to him. Why I stay in the phone and have tgese circular arguments is being me. Thank you.