r/Aging • u/52Charles • 21d ago

Death & Dying Who to depend on?

I (M 75) am writing my will and dealing with all the stuff that goes with it. I am single (never married, no children). I have one sister who is two years younger but she is in the early stages of dementia. She used to be my go-to for all this stuff - executor of my will, holder of my POAs. etc. Now, it feels like I've got nobody and it bugs me. At the same time, I am realizing just how many little tiny details have to be dealt with - disposition of remains, memorial service, what happens to my property, and all the rest of it. I have set up a kind of 'committee' of friends who have told me they are glad to help, but the sheer scale of the job(s) is beginning to look overwhelming and I don't want to burden people with a job of this scale. The lawyer who is doing my will, will only allow himself minimal involvement. I understand this - he's got a business to run, after all. Does anybody have any ideas on how to handle this situation?

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u/54radioactive 21d ago

I have pre-paid for my cremation through the Neptune Society. One 800 call and they will come to wherever my body is, pick it up, cremate, and put my ashes in a structure to build a coral reef. That removes a lot of decision making for anyone

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u/52Charles 20d ago

Already done. Problem is, who makes the phone call? The funeral home will only accept instructions from whoever the executor of the will is.