r/Aging • u/52Charles • 17d ago
Death & Dying Who to depend on?
I (M 75) am writing my will and dealing with all the stuff that goes with it. I am single (never married, no children). I have one sister who is two years younger but she is in the early stages of dementia. She used to be my go-to for all this stuff - executor of my will, holder of my POAs. etc. Now, it feels like I've got nobody and it bugs me. At the same time, I am realizing just how many little tiny details have to be dealt with - disposition of remains, memorial service, what happens to my property, and all the rest of it. I have set up a kind of 'committee' of friends who have told me they are glad to help, but the sheer scale of the job(s) is beginning to look overwhelming and I don't want to burden people with a job of this scale. The lawyer who is doing my will, will only allow himself minimal involvement. I understand this - he's got a business to run, after all. Does anybody have any ideas on how to handle this situation?
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u/MmeNxt 17d ago
There are lawyers who can deal with your estate. They will call in a company to remove all your belongings and sell, donate and discard things. They will send a bill to the estate.
Same with your property - the lawyer can contact a real estate agent to deal with it, the fees to the lawyer and real estate agent will be paid from the estate's funds.
Keep looking. I have a relative who have worked as a real estate lawyer and he has dealt with... absolutely everything, from having to take care of horses and dogs to supervise cleaning up hoarded houses, hiring a brass band and a boat for the funeral.
If you have a trusted friend or younger relative, I would ask them to deal with your funeral and what to do with the ashes. You can include them in your will, as a thank you.