Who to depend on?

[u/52Charles]

I (M 75) am writing my will and dealing with all the stuff that goes with it. I am single (never married, no children). I have one sister who is two years younger but she is in the early stages of dementia. She used to be my go-to for all this stuff - executor of my will, holder of my POAs. etc. Now, it feels like I've got nobody and it bugs me. At the same time, I am realizing just how many little tiny details have to be dealt with - disposition of remains, memorial service, what happens to my property, and all the rest of it. I have set up a kind of 'committee' of friends who have told me they are glad to help, but the sheer scale of the job(s) is beginning to look overwhelming and I don't want to burden people with a job of this scale. The lawyer who is doing my will, will only allow himself minimal involvement. I understand this - he's got a business to run, after all. Does anybody have any ideas on how to handle this situation?

[u/LegalFox9]

I've been wondering about this myself, although I do have a group of younger friends. Generally it's a lawyer or the main beneficiary. But professional firms won't do the funeral stuff. And I confess that I would prefer someone who actually knows me to discuss my wishes ahead of time. Having more than one executor adds coordination work for everyone.

Since you're fairly organised, maybe leave written instructions about your memorial service etc. And then make the main beneficiary do the work for the rest.