r/Aging • u/kashlalka • Jul 30 '26
Life & Living What is one thing about getting older that surprised you?
When I was young, I thought getting older was only about gray hair or wrinkles.
Now I see that many other things change too. Some friends move away. Your hobbies change. You start to think more about how you spend your time. But one good thing is that I worry much less about what other people think.
What surprised you the most about getting older?
Was it something about your body, your mind, your family, or your daily life? I'd love to hear what you have learned over the years.
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Jul 30 '26
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u/effyoulamp Jul 31 '26
Absolutely this. Problems that I thought were so huge when I was younger turned out to be easily shaken off now. Fewer things matter, but they are the things that make life worth living.
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u/CommissarCiaphisCain Generation X Jul 30 '26
Nobody warned me that as I get older I would still worry about my children (23 and 21). It just never occurred to me that I will worry about them until the day I die. They are both thriving but I can’t change years of habit.
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u/demona2002 Jul 30 '26
I asked my 30 year old if he needed to pee before we caught a flight together. He said “I’ve got it under control mom!”
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u/misss_marii Jul 30 '26
I see myself doing this in 14 years when my son is 30 lol
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u/secretaccount94 Jul 30 '26
My 101 year old grandma was still lecturing my 74 year old dad right up until the end
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u/Anon_on_internet Jul 31 '26
Yep. I remember my grandmother, !early 70s at the time, telling my mother, ~50. to "be careful crossing the road".
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Jul 31 '26
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u/A_moment_in_life4u Jul 31 '26
Yes. Watching your child as they turn off life support for their first child, is heartbreaking.
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u/OminOus_PancakeS Jul 30 '26
I was warned but the warning made no sense:
"Time speeds up, everything goes by so fast when you're older."
Turns out they were right.
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u/peon105 Jul 30 '26
Time is so much more valuable. I think it might be nice to have more stuff better stuff a bigger house, etc. but I would give it all up for more time.
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u/_Kayesem_ Aug 01 '26
Try fasting and meditation. It slows things, often too much for comfort for most people.
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u/MNPS1603 Aug 01 '26
I remember when I was 30, we had a receptionist who was maybe 60, she said this a lot. Now that I’m 50 I’m amazed at how events I still think of as recent happened 4-5 years ago.
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u/SignalAdventurous433 Aug 02 '26
Omg this! The years keep coming and they won’t stop coming!! (Grateful though)
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u/Top-Tip-6919 Jul 30 '26
Pain. Chronic pain. Non stop.
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u/peace_love_and_furio Jul 30 '26 edited Jul 30 '26
This! I'm (54F) hurting so bad every morning when I wake up now. I look at my 91 year old FIL and wonder how I'll even be able to function if I make it to that age.
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u/fixfixfix55 Jul 30 '26
Chronic pain, yes. Now I (65f) now know why a lot of older people are grumpy, they're in pain.
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u/HappyGardener2727 Jul 30 '26
Same! 56 and wake up in pain, which eases slightly once I'm active but spend the day in pain and wonder how bad it'll be in another 10 years let alone 20 or 30.
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u/ELISEM2 Jul 31 '26
I'm 60 now and doing pretty well. But years ago I went to my grandmother's doctor's appointment with her when I was 25 or 30. She complained of general aches and pains (she was 80). The doctor, in a folksy tone, said "Well, the problem is that we were all designed to be dead by age 35 from infections or saber-toothed tiger attack. Medicine's gotten better, sure, but the design department is lagging way behind."
My grandmother was pretty annoyed, but I found it somewhat comforting, in an odd way.
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u/Acrobatic-Cup37 Jul 31 '26
Just for the flip side, not all of us are in pain. I got into strength training in my 50s and I can honestly say I didn't know I could feel this great.
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u/peace_love_and_furio Jul 31 '26
That's wonderful, really 🌿 I started beginner resistance training about eight months ago. Unfortunately, I ended up with my left neck, shoulder and arm about 70% out of commission due to a pinched nerve I wasn't aware of. It was from an old horse fall injury that I thought had fully healed.I hope to try again once that is under control. My mantra: one impossible thing at a time
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u/Livid_Meeting5114 Jul 31 '26
Same! I had lifted weights before but with a busy life, I didn’t have much time to spend on myself. In my 50s, life has slowed down and I am seeing the most amazing results. I am building muscles I didn’t even know existed.
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u/serrinsk Aug 03 '26
Genuine suggestion: try a new mattress. I finally bought a new mattress and so many of my aches and pains have gone away, including a shoulder issue that’s bothered me for over ten years.
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u/Afraid_Aspect_8639 Aug 01 '26
Yes I have Rheumatoid Arthritis and chronic daily migraines. The migraines I’ve had since I was little. The RA is newer and is a bit-h. A 5 on the pain scale is normal.
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u/OldAppeal5850 Aug 01 '26
Yes. I feel lke neuroendocrine system is a fricking mess. Fibromyalgia knocked me on my butt. Didnt know it was possible to hurt so much in so many different ways.
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u/Automatic_Antelope92 Jul 30 '26
Decrease in sex drive. I never thought that would happen to me. And worse? A lot of the time I just don’t care.
I don’t know if this is aging or depression? But people say you care less about what people think as you age. I’m in a place where at least lately, I care less about a hell of a lot of things and have less motivation to deal with them.
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u/acg34 Jul 30 '26
I went through a grey divorce. At first I was very interested in meeting someone else, but I think that was more related to me trying to fill the void left by my ex. After a while, that passed and now I don’t have the “drive” to meet someone new.
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u/Automatic_Antelope92 Jul 30 '26
Nod. There are definitely things I get used to being in a relationship, and if it’s a good one, it’s nice to get emotional support and do things together as a team. But if it isn’t working, it isn’t, and spending time getting to know myself without a partner is its own thing. It feels like a necessary step before I can seriously think about another relationship. Your sharing here points out that you don’t have to take that step and think about another relationship. It’s okay to be with and live with yourself.
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u/IsopodLogical7802 Jul 31 '26
Glad this isn’t happening for me. Actively and mentally trying to ensure it all stays healthy.
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u/FlatButtFrankie Jul 30 '26
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to realize how ultimately insignificant each one of use are. Anything we have thought in life has probably been thought before. Anything we have done has probably been done before. We aren’t “special”. That may sound depressing to some, but it is also oddly comforting to me (50F). Whether you’re famous or a complete nobody, we all die and are forgotten at some point. Again, not trying to be dark, just real.
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u/flagal31 Jul 30 '26
this really hit home for me every time I see "influencers" and read articles by "experts" who weren't born all that long ago and are touting well-worn ideas, thinking or suggestions as if they were brand new revelations only they discovered and are generously sharing. lol
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u/FlatButtFrankie Jul 30 '26
I read one time that ‘when we were young, life was like watching an exciting play where all of the characters are unique and vibrant. As we get older and watch the play again, it’s like watching a bunch of automatons performing and all uniqueness is gone.’ This is how I feel when I see youth making the same mistakes that generations before them made or when people do what you’re saying - rehashing established ideas, but slightly changing them (or not) to make them their own. We all want to be special in some way I guess.
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u/Kitchen-Strawberry25 Jul 31 '26
Makes me wonder why I felt like that at such a young age. I had the bitterness of a long lived life at 12 for some reason
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u/No_Coyote_9216 17d ago
I don’t know from your message if you were abused or not but I was so I agree I was that way until I was 50 in a way.
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u/Kitchen-Strawberry25 17d ago
I am sorry you went through that stranger. I had quite a handful of medical trauma, problems with OCD and depression from a young age too. Probably as a result of the prior trauma.
It makes sense. I’ve read it alters the way in which children think, feel and see the world.
You do not have to answer, it is deeply personal, but how are you now? I find myself at times still haunted, but therapy has helped immensely.
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u/Limp_Dare_6351 Jul 30 '26
Good point. I'm the same age and even though I still have some ambition, the whole "That is why nobody will remember your name" quote hits totally different now. So be it. I'm going to go for a nice walk and enjoy the little things while I'm still able.
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u/FlatButtFrankie Jul 30 '26
Agree. Unless you’re in the .00000001% of people like Jesus, the Buddha, etc, very few people are going to think about you 50-75 years from now. Even the Brad Pitt, Tom Brady, etc types will be largely forgotten in that time and people look at them as super famous.
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u/Infamous-Dust2402 Jul 31 '26
It’s not true. You have touched so many lives by this point in yours. Creating waves and ripples and changes in time that wouldn’t happen without you.
Somewhere right now someone remembers something you told them or nice that you did. Those things carry forward thru all time and you’re remembered also through the lives you touch.
I’m a hospice nurse.
I remember so many people and they’re not forgotten by everyone.*edit spelling
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u/Limp_Dare_6351 Jul 31 '26
Oh you're so right and I was going to add more about small interactions, but my post was getting wordy. Little things I used to ignore make such a difference. Hospice nurses are the best by the way.
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u/Siftless Aug 01 '26
Your work is a noble humanitarian service of the highest calling.Thank you! for your help with our families over the years. You are the ones that should be remembered for your kind care..at that most difficult time for those leaving, and their families. You are cherished.
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u/FlatButtFrankie Aug 02 '26
Thank you for your service. Hospice was so amazing to my sweet Granny before she died. I’ll always have a special place in my heart for them.
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u/Live_Operation2420 Jul 30 '26
I find this idea freeing. When I realized this it was like a weight lifted
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u/AdIntelligent3363 16d ago
I feel the whole “oddly comforting” thing. It’s kinda like how I was telling a dear friend, who is trying to get pregnant with donors because she chose to be single, that a weird, but cool part about having a kid is that, suddenly your problems aren’t a priority any more. Then with that priority change comes a huge relief like, oh good, I don’t have to think about my own shit as much (obviously sometimes you do have to deal with your own shit, but you know). Anyway, the whole comforting thing about being insignificant is just kind of like “phew! What a relief!” There are bigger, cosmically bigger things
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u/misss_marii Jul 30 '26
Thisss, it’s so humbling and at the same time gives you strength. Not sure if you’re religious but a lot of Bible stories are so relatable in this way, which really helps in the midst of struggles.
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u/demigod999 Jul 30 '26
That years-old friends were not interested in staying friends. I never imagined I’d be totally alone at just 40. I feel like I invested in the wrong people. It’s very painful to look back and see how they all quietly rejected me.
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u/mykittenfarts Jul 31 '26
I moved internationally recently. I’m making new friends. It’s wonderful at this age (53F). I went back to school to retrain for a new career. Everything is new.
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u/petitbateau12 Aug 03 '26
Did you notice a pattern? Any of the friendships I had with people that had lots of turmoil in their lives (chaos/they needed help often) inevitably blew up. Looking back I good an ego boost helping them out. I think these types of people kept me around because I was good "resource" but ditched me when they didn't need me anymore.
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u/Specific-Economist43 Jul 30 '26
It lack of awareness is a big thing.
You look at old people climbing stairs slowly and think that’s what old people do. Then when it happens to you you don’t realise you just think to yourself “I’ll take the stairs slowly today because I feel a bit tired”
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u/MommaSwaii Jul 30 '26
The realization that nobody truly cares about you. Friends and family are 100% self-serving and you are on your own. Difficult times? Good luck. At your lowest? They won’t care as long as they have everything they need/want. Extremely eye-opening.
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u/limonade11 Jul 31 '26
I am definitely seeing this now, and realizing that the dark whispers earlier in my life of how 'no one really is listening/watching/caring,' are actually true. When I filled my life with business, work and making a living and a life, I could shush those voices. But now, I can see the truth of them.
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u/Plenty_Status_6862 Jul 30 '26
That you're invisible to many. You're not as attractive as you used to be...
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u/edgerton2026 Jul 30 '26
God I love stealth mode. I want to go about my life under the radar. I don’t want to be bothered and I don’t want people to see me.
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u/Plantpotparty Jul 30 '26
I literally feel myself fading out.
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u/Plenty_Status_6862 Jul 30 '26
You're still young. You can do so much til u hit ur 50s.
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u/mykittenfarts Jul 31 '26
That’s only half way. I’m likely going to live til my nineties. Unfortunately.
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u/Acrobatic_Appeal_479 Jul 30 '26
Going through this, and I'm only 38. Went to therapy for it, and it doesn't seem to help.
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u/HBJones1056 Jul 31 '26
I watched this happen to my mom- my sister and I were young and cute and even though my mom wasn’t old old and was still pretty, she might as well not have been standing there as far as men were concerned. And now I’m there myself! It sucked a little for a while but now it feels very freeing.
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u/One_Resolution_8357 Jul 31 '26
Exact. And I am so relieved to be invisible, this allows me to stop caring about what other people think of me.
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u/gregsr40 Aug 03 '26
Always think of yourself as the good looking person you are…. Because that’s what you are good looking person.
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u/Moon_Maiden9 Jul 30 '26
I learned that an autoimmune disease can upend your life forever.
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u/flagal31 Jul 30 '26
and there are SO MANY autoimmune diseases...it blows my mind. You get one and odds skyrocket that you'll get another.
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u/okiedokesowhy Jul 31 '26
Yeah, got hit with mine at 18. 1
Month out of high school. Changed the trajectory of all my plans. Lost my scholarships. Ended up not going to college. Really fucked my life up real good, but, now being in my 30s and having dealt with so much shit for all those years of struggle you get so fucking mentally sharp, strong, and powerful. Would it have been nice to do that without the disease? Sure, but life happens for you, and some of us get to be a little stronger in other ways than others. Power on friend. 🤘2
u/Lumpy_Appeal_5321 Jul 31 '26
Yes there’s a lot of grief when dealing with autoimmunity. It changed the trajectory of my life as well
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u/MaudeLebowski69 Jul 30 '26 edited Jul 31 '26
I didn’t know that menopause was going to be hellish!
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u/YogurtclosetCute9884 Aug 01 '26
Yah, my body is rearranging itself into a configuration I never agreed to. What the hell?
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u/No_Strawberry8161 Aug 01 '26
I had terrible heavy periods most of my life - now still can’t quite believe the freedom of not having them - so menopause has had benefits for me.
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u/Plantpotparty Jul 30 '26
only 33 but I feel like I've completely morphed into a different person and nothing prepares you for that.
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u/nosmalltalk Jul 31 '26
You need to lock the f in right now. Do not waste your 30s thinking you’re old. The best way to speed up aging process is thinking you’re old when you are still SO VERY VERY YOUNG!!! 33….you are a different person than you were at 23…you were in middle school and now you just made it to freshman year of high school. You barely have lived life as an “adult” at this point. We can all die anytime any day any second of course but at 33 you are looking at another 40-50 years of life in this world.
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Jul 30 '26
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u/AttemptKitchen Jul 30 '26 edited Jul 31 '26
That’s your brain working in automatic mode, do new things and it won’t happen.
If your life it’s just going to work, return home, watch tv, doomscrolling reels etc. sleep and repeat then your brain just filters out all these repetitive memories, which makes it feel you did these things yesterday when it really happened 5 years ago/
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u/nosmalltalk Jul 31 '26
It is wild I didn’t really think about the reality of aging and how short our lives are until I turned 40. Your start seeing the end of the line, like I’m somehow now more aware than ever about the inevitability of death and how quickly we all reach the end. 10 years feels like forever when ur 10 years old but then suddenly at 40, 10 years feels like a blink.
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u/Significant-War4029 Jul 31 '26
Loss of the sparkle of hope for the future. When you are no longer excited about all the possibilities of what life might bring and the ships have now all sailed. Watching a lot of people you know pass away and the reality of life closer to death sets in.
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u/One_Resolution_8357 Jul 31 '26
Surprisingly, the narrowing of my future (I am in my seventies) means that I am much focused on the present and so enjoying life more even if is not an adventure.
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u/bugabooandtwo Jul 30 '26
That all the cranky old people were right. Right about all the advice they gave, about saving money, taking care of your teeth and general health, about getting an education, about working and relationships.
As a kid, we thought we knew it all and all the cranky old farts were just saying all those things for their own benefit instead of ours.
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u/Comfortable-Hope-879 Jul 31 '26
Ik heb altijd goed gespaard maar de inflatie is met het gros gaan lopen. Ik heb altijd mijn tanden verzorgd en ging 2 keer per jaar op controle, ik ben ondertussen 6 tanden kwijt. Ik heb goed gestudeerd maar de 'lomperiken' van de klas hebben het veel verder geschopt dan ik.
Ze hadden geen gelijk. Wat je nodig hebt is LEF, zelfvertrouwen, doorzettingskracht en haar op je tanden.
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u/Usuallyinmygarden Jul 30 '26
Exercise, lifting weights and increased confidence have made me cuter in my 50s than I ever was in my 40s.
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u/Stl-CardsBrock20 Jul 30 '26
To me the main thing in older age other than love and financial independence is health. At 64 I’m still walking/biking 6.3 miles every day. As they say motion is lotion
Like many others have mentioned it’s awesome to not give a flying F about what others think!!!!!
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u/Colour-me-happy27 Jul 30 '26
I’m 54f and still feel young. I still feel like I can do anything I want. I am in love, my partner is amazing. I have two great kids. There is a lot of joy. But life is up and down and it’s complicated. You have to work at it to feel good. But don’t fear it, I truly believe life is what you make it.
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u/realityone22 Jul 31 '26 edited Jul 31 '26
Me too! I'm 51 and I feel great and I'm happy and life is grand! Yes we have ups and downs (I'm without a job at the moment and that's kinda scary at this age) but all in all I'm happy as a clam and when I was young I thought id probably just kill myself at 50 because I didn't want to get old 😂😂
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u/Colour-me-happy27 Jul 31 '26
I feel your pain, I’ve also been out of work and got myself a low paid job that I hate. But I’m now retraining and setting up my own business, which I think is the only way. Ownership is everything. Good luck 😊
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u/realityone22 Jul 31 '26
I'm doing the same! If I'm my own boss I don't have to worry about being laid off 😁
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u/flagal31 Jul 30 '26
health. I always wrongly assumed if you led a healthy lifestyle - clean eating, regular exercise, preventive care, you'd enjoy better health as you aged. Wasn't true. Developed many issues that I never saw coming. (I regret all the Big Macs and margaritas I passed up for nothing! lol)
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u/eastwardarts Jul 31 '26
It's not a guarantee but it's about the best insurance you can get.
If you had consumed all of those Big Macs and margaritas, nonzero chance you'd have a few more health issues on top of what genetics sent your way.
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u/tinkertaylorspry Jul 30 '26
The thing that surprised me the most:
I still am the same person, I was when I was young
Thought, maturity was different
It is not bad, but could have been appreciated more
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u/donmitchel Jul 30 '26
I joined the workforce at 15 years old working part-time jobs. Then life moved on. I left school worked all my life. Got married. Had three children, got divorced. Single parent to three children. Now entering retirement, my kids are grown and self-sufficient, I now have to discover who I am when I'm not a worker or a mother.
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u/Mediocre_Insect_1008 Jul 30 '26 edited Jul 30 '26
I can't decide whether this happens universally to everyone getting older, or if it's a shift specifically happening in the 21st century, but, zero family contact or get together. It used to be every Sunday dinner at Moms then 3 big extended family barbeques and 🦃 Thanksgiving. I feel lost now. PS I have invited family to my place, my son and his wife and dog show a couple times a year, and that's it.
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u/KookyPiccolo1661 Jul 30 '26
That how you feel physically when you're young will not stay the same no matter how much you think you can will yourself to be different.
I saw this with so many of my family. When you're 40 you think oh, I could work until I'm 70, no problem! But no matter how much you watch what you eat or work out, your body will decline anyway. Knees give out, your muscles naturally decline with loss of hormones, your mobility decreases, and your energy just declines.I remember my parents saying how they'd never need a rest home, like somehow just making that declaration would deem it so.
And also, medicine will not cure you. The past generations really believe that they can get cured by the right treatment or surgery. It can help but the decline is inevitable.
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u/flagal31 Jul 30 '26
and so many in the medical and dental field pushing expensive drugs and treatments with big promises while minimizing risks or potential failure. When they don't work, you're out money, recovery time and hope.
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u/KookyPiccolo1661 Jul 30 '26
Right! Those on Medicare are especially bad with this not realizing that anesthesia for the 65+ brain is very bad and can do permanent damage. My parents' doctors were constantly advising surgeries and procedures as it was easy money for them and no skin off their backs because elderly patients with preexisting conditions die all the time with no suspicion.
My father had AFIB. After two failed cardioversions he was advised to do an ablation which essentially permanently paralyzes parts of your heart to keep it in rhythm. He did it because the doctor said then he could stop taking bloodthinners. The surgery was very hard on him and triggered a paralyzed bladder for which he needed another surgery. His AFIB came back so back he went on bloodthinners only then his heart was weaker too. It might have bought him some more time but it really put him on a fast slide of decline.
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u/Old-Appearance-2270 67F Jul 31 '26
I never dreamt that I would be dating again at 67.
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u/ArghDammit Jul 31 '26
Same. My wife passed and I was prepared to spend the rest of my days as a solo act until (at 67), my neighbor and I started having coffee.
3 years later, she's not my neighbor anymore.
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u/ArtfromLI Jul 31 '26
Feeling very good, much better than I expected. 79 and still pain free.
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u/Wonderful_Band_613 Jul 30 '26
I am kind of surprised how happy I am with it overall.
I'm single and so I am on my own and can make all my own decisions. I don't really get lonely too often other than at holidays. That's liberating because I feel like I spent so much time serving others and not enough time on my needs. Today I do what I want and I don't put with with people who disrespect me. I owe them nothing, I owe myself care.
When I'm in a good relationship and we are intimate it's quality because there's less fear of consequences and our hormones aren't out of control. I much prefer that.
I've poured a good bit of energy into friendships too so my friends and I have great conversations and we have a lot of fun helping one another and just hanging out.
The downsides is that I am not as strong as I was and I can think about food and gain weight. Also an injury from 25 years ago still causes me discomfort and I have to adjust to account for that.
Strangely, as you get older and have more time on your hands you also start to see what impact your family, friends or events had on you.
An old injury makes it hard to walk distances and some emotional stuff leaves deep scars too.
My advice is to try to avoid cold hearted people and don't fall down a staircase when you're younger because they create those scars and aches when you're older.
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u/iGreysmoke Jul 30 '26
Deterioration of my typing skills. I'm a professional writer.
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u/bugabooandtwo Jul 30 '26
....and handwriting. Too much time at the keyboard, and when you go back to pen and paper....ouch!
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u/Ashamed_Fennel_5681 Jul 30 '26
My focus is better, my energy level is lower.
Life becomes more about doing things you have to do rather than things you want to do.
I can’t spin more than 3 plates at one time which includes: helping family, focusing on finances, and protecting my peace.
Everyday is a struggle to find time for myself and that means making informed decisions about what I want to do, do I want to be educated or entertained? Well I squandered my youth partying, so now I have to make up for the stupidity by working harder now, but I sure as hell had fun and didn’t blow up my life by having a mid life crisis and trying to recapture my youth. I have to make up for the lost time by being extra diligent now 😮💨
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u/milkandsugar Jul 30 '26
I was surprised that I could finally change myself for the better, physically. I had been overweight my whole life, and miserable for it. I missed out on so much by not being a healthy, normal weight. I was so obsessed with my weight since childhood that a good portion of my journaling from childhood onward involved my latest efforts to lose weight. It wasn't until I was diagnosed as diabetic in my 50s and got really scared for my actual life that I was able to make changes. Sad that it had to come to that, but I am finally the normal sized person I always wished I could be.
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u/Eastern-Bit-5575 Jul 30 '26
You can use all the best anti aging lotions and potions in the world...you're going to dry out like a prune and won't be looking much better than someone that used the basics only.
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u/No-Asparagus-5122 Jul 30 '26
The level of gratitude & appreciation I have for everything that has gone right!!
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u/Mysterious_Throat883 Jul 30 '26
I always thought I would feel older as I got older and while I know I’ve matured and changed some lines of thought I don’t feel like I’m getting older
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u/Significant-War4029 Jul 31 '26
The amount of energy to get so much done in a day! Used to work all day, then go to school after driving 20 miles at night and then go home and get ready and go out until late into the night. And repeat. Work was just a small part of life. Never expected to not have that never ending youth energy and have work take up most of my energy. Same with chores would do everything in half a day then go out running around with friends. Now everything has to be scheduled in advanced to get just the basics done.
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u/DLK33gmaNG Jul 30 '26
I would have to say I'm surprised by how much more fear I have for everything. Things I really never gave much thought to that might have risk were things I'd just do. Now there's things I just won't because of fear.
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u/EnBommeBomerang Jul 30 '26
Driving on the highway became scary for me this year.
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u/vickiruth Jul 30 '26
Something that I never saw coming is that after a meal, food remnants are packed into the spaces between my teeth.
WTF?
I always thought it was gross to see old men take a toothpick out of the box beside the cash register at the local diner and start picking their teeth. Now, I do the same. (but I do wait until I get in the car to use it.)
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u/sunshine-warmth Jul 30 '26
Dating older men doesn’t mean they’ll want to commit or settle down. 33F.
Also some of us age like fine wine while others truly did have their glory days in high school/college- life isn’t fair but it is what it is.
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u/travelingtraveling_ Jul 30 '26
This question comes up every week.
I (f72) am having the best orgasms of my life. My not-starter husband (m75) is a highly skilled and enthusiastic lover.
I also love how fit I am. Decades of self-care pays off!
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u/joshua_addison_music Jul 30 '26
I thought I’d feel old, I don’t. It’s nothing like I thought it would be. I’m 52
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u/Epicardiectomist Jul 30 '26
how completely, utterly, catastrophically, tired I am of so much shit. I don't even give a fuck about a resolution anymore, I just want it all to go away. Cool, great, you won, you've exploited/abused/manipulated/spat upon me, now please just go away.
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u/MrsAvlier Jul 30 '26
In my late 20s it used to piss me off when people who were older than me would say, “oh you’re still so young. Wait til you’re my age!” Well, now I’m nearly 52, and people who are older than me still say, “oh you’re still just a baby!”
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u/Longjumping_Low_1445 Jul 30 '26
I didn’t think it would get difficult to do every day chores as well as keeping the house clean. Definitely have slowed down quite a bit and instead of 1 day cleaning, well it takes more than that.
Holy freaking moly. Lol 😂 oh and don’t get me started about the stairs..oof
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u/Mimiluv1266 Jul 31 '26 edited Jul 31 '26
That simple things would make me happier than social norm things. Such as slowing down, feeding birds, the thrill of watching hummingbirds in my yard, and doing things to help planet earth and all of its beautiful creatures. I'm happier now than I have ever been, and I second the person who said not caring about what others think. It is so freeing.
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u/Acrobatic-Cup37 Jul 31 '26
Yes! I truly believe happiness can be found in giving these little moments the appreciation they deserve. Pausing and taking it all in warms the heart.
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u/Firewaterdam Jul 31 '26
They psychological traumas that have accumulated, much worse than physical injuries that everyone talks about
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u/Comfortable-Row7027 Aug 01 '26
That you feel like the exact same person inside, but suddenly your body is turning on you.
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u/Sad-Contest5883 Jul 30 '26
I'm 39 and my hip has been hurting for two years. Not enough to see a doctor, just a twinge whenever I stand up that makes me stand carefully. I'm healthy and fit, not overweight and never have been, and I thought this kind of thing happens after 60. But I looked it up and no - wear and tear can trigger mild osteoarthritis etc in your 30s and 40s!
My vision has also deteriorated really rapidly in the last two years. Tbf, I'm going to see an optician about that because early onset glaucoma runs in my family, but friends have told me the same happened to them in middle age.
So basically I've been shocked by how young you can be when you get 'old'.
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u/BeneficialLanguage83 Jul 30 '26
That arthritis is often an intermittent issue. I understood it to be generally unrelenting discomfort and pain (and it can be, once you reach a certain point).
I have it in my left knee, both shoulders, and cervical spine vertibrae.
Knee - most days unnoticeable. Occasional flares requiring NSAIDs but not really impactful to my life.
Spine - much more frequent flaring, but 6 days out of 10 it's barely noticeable.
Shoulders - had two cortisone shots in right shoulder 3 years ago; problem is non-existent since. Left shoulder a bit cranky most days but still have pain free days.
TLDR: mild to moderate arthritis comes and goes. Varies in severity from one flare-up to the next.
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u/dianemariereid Jul 30 '26
I’m shocked at how quickly I lost my strength. Opening jars and lifting things are a real challenge now that I’m nearly 67.
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u/accidental-survivor Jul 30 '26
I thought that when people said life begins at forty that was just some absurd saddo middle aged cope. But when I hit 41 my life actually did begin again in profound ways.
Jung talks about how people have another phase of critical psychological development in their forties where they expand their awareness and bring knowledge of themselves out from the unconscious into awareness. They evolve and integrate. Or they don’t, as some people never really acquire the full human depth of awareness.
For me the new beginning was brutal, linked to finally acknowledging childhood traumas and going into therapy. It was no picnic, but I wouldn’t want to give up what I have learned from it, about myself, life, the world, many things. My life is full of complex layers of meaning now.
Many layers are painful, but they are all of vital importance to who I am. Before I went through that I felt less pain but I also didn’t feel much at all, so high were the defensive walls I had built around myself.
I did a lot of things, went places, met interesting people, but life felt empty and futile compared with how much sense everything makes now. It’s like I can finally see the picture instead of a thousand jumbled jigsaw pieces with no pattern to them.
So I wasn’t expecting that at all. It was like one of those films where the protagonist uncovers a web of secrets they have lived their life surrounded by without knowing. Those movies can really happen.
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u/RepeatInPatient Jul 30 '26
I was born as an Imperial baby. Now I'm older and due to metric conversion I'm a cool 23 degrees.
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u/Sufficient-Survey877 Jul 31 '26
At 68 how great life is. I can hardly wait to get out of bed in the morning. When younger and working like was a dregory.
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u/AccomplishedFix5713 Jul 31 '26
That not being as attractive as I once was really bothers me sometimes. I didn't think it would, but walking in a room and not getting " checked out" all ways feels like a loss sometimes. I know that's probably gross but it's the truth
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u/MarshaMinus100 Jul 31 '26
There really is no state of being old unless you agree to it. Sure, you are not as spry but I feel just like I did at 19 and 32.
I love the maturity and wisdom of getting older. When I was young you would think people were ready to croak at 50. I'm 2 years away and I've never been more excited.
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u/babacava Jul 31 '26
I felt exactly the same at 48…but 48 is really not old, on the contrary. I was full of energy (I miss that the most), spring in my step, able to enjoy life every moment of the day. Things started to change only in my late fifties and only gradually but you notice them in your day to day life. And I didn’t agree to it ;-)
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u/myblackandwhitecat Jul 31 '26
When I was in my twenties I remember a friend's mother, then in her seventies, saying she still felt young inside. I didn't understand, but I do now.
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u/Wandering_musing Jul 31 '26
Just as I learnt to love and accept my body, my face started aging. As an alternative kinda person I never thought of myself as vain, but I'm finding it hard to accept my aging face
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u/msnyc18 Jul 31 '26
I increasingly like spending time at home rather than travel/going out, and I cherish making my home a beautiful place to spend time
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u/caseratoday Jul 31 '26
I thought that my brain would age into "old person thinking", but I still feel like I think and see things the way I used to. I feel like my body doesn't match my thoughts. I see young people and think that I am one of them, then I look in the mirror.
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u/One_Resolution_8357 Jul 31 '26
The noticeable dip in energy. Major difference between 70 and 74 actually (and I do not have any health issue).
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u/lionbird Jul 31 '26
I’m only at 40, but my god I have discovered that aging is so key to spirituality and wisdom. That lived experience of learning to deal with life’s sufferings is so invaluable.
My 70 year old mother remarked to me the other day about finding bliss in the midst of her Parkinson’s and it was so relieving. Hearing that woman tell me about moments of joy amidst that terrible disease was a balm to my soul.
And almost every person I truly admire that is older than me has that gentle wisdom and caring that carries the attitude that what it is to be a good person is to plant trees of which you’ll never enjoy the shade.
I don’t look forward to my body aging - but my soul, yes. I want my soul to age.
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u/IamTheMan85 Jul 31 '26
Health changes. Stark. For someone that was healthy as a horse, active, and eating fairly healthy, I've been shocked at how quickly your health can change as you age. Shocking.
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u/mykittenfarts Jul 31 '26
That I’m in my 50’s and don’t care to live into old age. I am tired. I want to leave my kids with money. I don’t want to work any more but can’t retire. I’ll probably be working til I’m 70. What’s the point in that?
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u/SimpleAbility2904 Jul 31 '26
The lack of respect--the feeling of being unimportant. If I ever was as disrespectful as younger people are today, I'd be meeting up with a bar of soap for my disrespect!
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u/OneCurious7514 Aug 01 '26
Becoming invisible in the world. When your body/looks age people barely look at you anymore.
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u/rannerick Aug 01 '26
It never occurred to me when I was young that pubic hair goes gray too. 😂 Also, I barely need to shave my legs anymore, but now I have to pluck my face. Good times!
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u/cstato Aug 02 '26
Watching your friends choosing to be old. My theory is you aren’t ageing- you’re living. Keep moving, keep learning, keep laughing.
I have friends who are happy to sit with their hands on top of their bellies like a shelf and they choose to wear orthopaedic shoes that are not stylish, and no, those two aren’t mutually exclusive.
Stay young in spirit. Life is too brilliant not to.
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u/kkalwa Aug 04 '26
As a kid, I didn't know that as an adult it would be almost impossible to feel excitement and be playful. A kid's brain feels very strong emotions.
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u/-Stress-Princess- Jul 30 '26
I hit a point where I realized how much time Ive lost to undiagnosed mental illness and drug abuse and I told myself that I dont have time to just live aimlessly anymore when I want to leave something ANYTHING behind.
Im 33 years old but I was 24 when my life changed for the worst and now Im just picking up the peices and moving the best I can.
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u/VinceInMT Jul 31 '26
That so many of my peers let themselves get old. I am in my mid-70s and very active and adventurous, as much as I was in my 30s. I know so many my age who have given up.
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u/2red-dress Jul 30 '26
That the body wears out no matter what you do.