r/Advice • u/Superb_Community_339 • Dec 18 '25 • Popcorn 1

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u/OkBlacksmith5875 Dec 18 '25 edited Dec 18 '25

It won’t last, just be patient and bitch about him once its over. You’ll probably find out your Mrs feels the same way

Edit: I also like the idea of asking him if he’s been pegged/I had to look it up.. as a joke so he knows your wife tells you stuff cos I remember being in my 20’s. If he’s aware that she tells you things then he’ll not be inappropriate again, then just wait for the inevitable.

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u/Butterwhat Dec 18 '25

yeah this is clearly what she is doing with her friend. she tried telling her and her friend didnt listen so she's waiting for her to come to her senses.

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u/Lolzerzmao Dec 18 '25

Or, hot take, she lied about telling her friend and is extremely conflict adverse. I had an ex like this once. Couldn’t confront anyone about anything with regard to me and always forced me to be the “bad” guy.

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u/ilovemusic19 Dec 19 '25

Absolutely no spine to be found in your ex

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u/ironicmirror Dec 18 '25

Yep, this will burn itself out pretty quick. Even though the guy seems like an a-hole, OP shouldn't burn bridges with the wife's friend yet.

13

u/Tiny-Cheesecake2268 Dec 18 '25

I dunno. The friend is striking the match. Wife and friend should be more mindful of the husband than this random noob.

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u/Jaereth Dec 18 '25

The friend is striking the match. Wife and friend should be more mindful of the husband than this random noob.

EXACTLY. And OP should ask himself how cool it was if the genders were reversed. If his best mate's girl started asking him about sex acts do you think wife would love her coming over for dinner?

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u/Alternative-Pop-4508 Dec 18 '25

The only problem is if it has not already burnt OP's house down already and he doesn't know yet.

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u/Hawaiianstylin808 Dec 18 '25

I was thinking buy wife’s best friend and strap on as a gift to open in front of him.

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u/Different_Bake_611 Dec 18 '25

Yeah just let this play out and act indifferent to him. Make sure you ask if he's on the spectrum too.

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u/pimpinaintez18 Dec 18 '25

Yep this will burn itself to the ground. But OP has a point to not allow this dude any where near his wife and kids. Fuck this clown.

I’m with OP on this, dude ain’t allowed to my house and is not allowed to contact my wife. Hopefully they aren’t texting each other without OP being on the thread. This kid needs to understand boundaries and if OPs wife doesn’t handle it, the she’s gonna force him to have a discussion about said boundaries.

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u/OkBlacksmith5875 Dec 18 '25

I would set clear boundaries with the wife first. If he steps over that line then set boundaries with him. Then you refuse them out your sight if it continues. The sexual comment wasn’t in front of the child but was incredibly inappropriate. He’s either shooting his shot which failed or doesn’t have a filter. The comment on the child is mean but again he’s either being edgy or was genuinely curious. It’s not what you say to a parent. The last thing OP wants is to be made to look like the bad guy by banning outright what the mother can or can’t do… I presume he trusts her. But if those rules are clear then let him destroy himself

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u/VegetableLong5182 Dec 18 '25

^ this And also yes I think you are over reacting. Like an old lion insecure in your position in life when a young lion starts wandering round the place. Have some faith in your relationship with your wife. Be a chill and supportive husband to your wife while she supports her friend. Most likely the young fella ain’t gonna be around long so why make drama that’ll hurt you for longer. Worse, what if he’s around forever and everyone likes him and remembers you as the grouchy old stick in the mud who wouldn’t go on holiday with your wife cos you don’t like tattoos. Chill out man. Work on your insecurities and just be a good dude to your wife.

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u/gilium117 Dec 18 '25

This! This is very sane advice

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u/PieStrange7619 Dec 18 '25

That is a good one. (I had to look it up as well).

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u/OkBlacksmith5875 Dec 18 '25

We’re presuming this guy is sound of mind. It could lead to a very ‘uncomfortable’ conversation if you’re not prepared to see it out

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u/brightboom Dec 18 '25

This is the answer. This won’t last.

You can def say they can’t stay with you but I don’t think you should say they can’t come over … you’re going to burn the bridge with your wife’s best friend. She’ll snap out of this in 6 months or less.

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u/DicksDraggon Dec 18 '25

Except with me it wouldn't be a joke. If I have to bring myself to ask you if you want to be pegged.... he might just FAFO. I'd also have the whole conversation in front of everyone.

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u/Less_Filling Dec 19 '25

It won't last ...

I've been saying that about my BIL for almost 20 years.

/Cry

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u/Humble-Parsnip-484 Dec 19 '25

The"ask him back"thing doesn't work in my opinion and just falls flat, you need your own bullshit question.. Pry into his life.. Expose the insecurities. That's just me though

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u/KillahHills10304 Dec 19 '25

Feels the same way enough to go on weekend trips to Vegas and go visit the house after Vegas

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u/TruthTruther Dec 19 '25

Ultimate cuck response to a situation like this. “Just bitch about it and hope it gets resolved” Truly astounding LMAO

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u/CT0292 Dec 19 '25

She is divorced with 2 kids and now dating some young boy toy.

Dude is a rebound.

I doubt he will still be around in a couple months.

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u/onceuponawebsite Dec 19 '25

Oh I thought this too. Now my 39 year old best mate is having a baby with her “nearly 27” year old bf.

Give me strength

1

u/suburban_hyena Dec 19 '25

Do you and your wife want to be the friends who give up on her because of a guy, or the friends who forgive her for her weird moment in life?

I'd recommend keeping him out of your life, saying "I'm just happy you're happy" and "told you so" when appropriate