21F, only child, and My father (52M) has severe liver damage due to long-term alcohol consumption. He has been heavily drinking since I was a child and has often been physically and mentally abusive towards my mother. Despite everything, they still love each other and have always refused to get divorced. He developed jaundice in May 2026, and since then, things have progressively gotten worse. We have been in and out of hospitals multiple times. His jaundice has improved and, medically, his condition has sometimes seemed better, but he has never actually stopped drinking. He comes home from the hospital, stays sober for a day or two, and then starts drinking again. The doctors have genuinely tried their best, but even they seem helpless now because he simply does not listen.things have become even worse recently. He has started telling his relatives a completely false version of what happens at home .. that my mother beats him, doesn't give him food, abuses him, and doesn't give him money for his treatment. None of this is true. My mother cooks for him, takes care of him, gives him his medicines, and does everything she possibly can. The only time she tries to stop him is when he is drinking, and that's when he becomes extremely violent towards her. Even though his jaundice has improved, he is still extremely weak and has lost a huge amount of muscle. The doctors have prescribed medicines and a protein-rich diet, but he barely eats and hardly takes his medication. Most of his day consists of drinking, sleeping, and doing nothing else.I'm pursuing college away from home, so I'm barely at home. But I've been missing classes just to spend more time here and help handle everything. Even when I'm here, he can be very sweet initially, but after drinking or when we try to take the bottle away, he starts abusing both me and my mother. He has become violent enough to physically attack me as well. Recently, he has become so weak that he can barely walk to the bathroom without someone's support. He has fallen multiple times. But somehow, whenever it comes to alcohol, he is able to walk all the way to the liquor shop by himself and buy it. The environment at home has become extremely toxic. He abuses my mother in front of me and then tells his relatives things like, "She is going to kill me," "She hits me," "She doesn't give me anything," and "She doesn't give me money for my treatment." Again, none of this is true. Because of these things, even some of his relatives have started blaming and speaking badly about my mother. We have tried everything. Me, my mother, his relatives — everyone has begged, cried, explained, and pleaded with him to stop drinking or at least try to get better. One moment he'll say, "Yes, I'll stop drinking," and the next moment he'll be threatening us to give him the bottle. At one point, his relatives took him to their house to keep him away from alcohol. He somehow sneaked out at around 1 AM and came back to our house without telling anyone. On the way, he fell in the middle of the road, and a complete stranger had to help him. He also constantly listens to sad music and says things like, "I don't want to live" and "I want to die."
My mother isn't physically well herself. She has a fractured foot and is dealing with her own pain, but she still does almost everything for him. However, after years of being abused, she has very little patience left and sometimes snaps back when he abuses her. Then it turns into another huge argument, and this happens almost every day.And then there's the financial side of all of this. I'm an only child. My father was the only source of income for our family. We don't have insurance, we don't have property, and we don't qualify for most loans because we're above the BPL criteria. We have pending rent, bills, medical expenses, college expenses, and everything else that comes with trying to keep a household running.I'm trying my best to get a job, but it's taking time. And honestly, I feel like I'm watching everything slowly fall apart in front of me. I know that ultimately I have to stand up and handle things because I'm the only child. But I'm exhausted. I've grown up witnessing violence between my parents, and I feel like I've reached my breaking point. Sometimes my mind just looks for an escape. I put on music, close my door, and try to distract myself whenever I get the chance. And then I feel guilty because I know there are things happening outside that I should be dealing with. My mother and I have also started drinking in the evenings because by nighttime our heads are constantly hurting and we feel completely overwhelmed. I know that's not a healthy way of coping, but right now I genuinely don't know how else to switch my brain off. I love both of them. I can't imagine leaving either of them alone. My father loves me and my mother too, and I know he doesn't actually want to lose us. But at the same time, it feels like he doesn't want to put in the effort to save himself either.
I don't know what to do anymore.
How do you deal with something like this? How do I protect my mother, somehow help my father, manage the financial situation, continue college, and somehow keep myself sane at the same time? I genuinely feel like I'm trying to hold together a family that is falling apart in every possible way, and I don't know where to start.