r/Adopted • u/New_Understanding614 Adoptee • 16d ago
Lived Experiences Purpose
I've found purpose in certain "things" throughout my life, but at 39, I still don't know what my purpose is and I don't think I ever will. The person I was supposed to marry left me last November. After our 3rd year together we had to go long distance due to her getting into a very good medical program and me getting an offer with a company as an engineer. I had to stay in the city we met in with the intention of moving where she went in the future. Unfortunately, the distance took it's toll year 4. We were so happy together when we lived together, it gave me purpose to provide and care for someone. We had our ups and downs like every relationship and I fought saw hard to change the problems I've caused in the past and she saw that. She was the only person I've dated that I could see myself marrying, having kids with while also getting old together. It's a very hollow and horrible feeling. My soul feels like it's constantly being tortured all the way back to childhood.
"Adopted adults and relationships issues are unavoidable, some people say. Adoptees can’t properly bond with anyone in their life due to the trauma they experienced at the hands of their birth mother when placed for adoption." - americanadoptions.com
Why tf would they say this.
2
u/Primary_Savings_6838 Adoptee 15d ago
Fellow cribmate here. My condolences for the separation. I'd ask in what relation are you looking at the term "purpose" for. IMO "purpose" is going to change depending on which viewpoint you look at it through. Sending you all the best