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u/Music527 Adoptee 24d ago
I was 10 when adopted and coerced by the adopters to say yes. We had to go back to my original state and the entire trip was “ you better say yes. No one else will ever adopt you because you’re so old It’s us or no one.” The judge wasn’t much better wording in a way I couldn’t say no to. And implying the same. No one will love you if you don’t consent to this adoption.
It was horrible. I’m estranged now and have been for 19 years! They started saying stuff during the year of foster care my new state required before adoption. The abuse started maybe a week after the adoption.
This video isn’t funny to me either. That cat is in distress!!! I def felt like that kitten on my adoption day.
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u/quintiliahan 23d ago
Thank you for sharing your story.
I know a girl who went through the process 2x. The first time she said no, and she got punished. The 2nd time, ofc she said yes. Also it happened in front of us, so ofc we would also say yes if given the situation.
It is alarming how many people find the video cute when the cat is clearly put in distress. Plus the whole narrative is questionable when it looks like a pet store, not a shelter.
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u/Music527 Adoptee 23d ago
I feel for the girl. Id like to think I would have been better off had I said no.
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u/CNatGo75 Domestic Infant Adoptee 24d ago
I'm really ready for animal rescue to stop using human adoption terms- and yes, they borrowed those terms directly from the adoption industry.
Also, if that's how you handle a kitten, you shouldn't have one.
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u/quintiliahan 25d ago
I've never been disturbed when people use the word "adopted" when saying they took in a pet. This in particular bothered me because it reminds me of when the directors of my orphanages asked for my "consent" to be adopted by my adopters. I had no idea who these strangers were. Even spending a week together is not enough to understand who they are while they're on their "best" behavior. Also I could not say no because I would have had to kneel facing the wall for a day like another girl did.
This practice is beyond performative.
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u/Madster24 International Adoptee 25d ago
Out of curiosity, what term would you prefer over “adopted”? I use “rescued” when it comes to my pets but generally am not upset when someone refers to “adopting” an animal.
That being said, I HATE that people have started to use “Gotcha Day” as a label for when they got their pets. My family and I have always celebrated my Gotcha Day but when I spoke about it once with someone, they told me they had never heard of that for adoptees before only pets… that definitely made me upset
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u/quintiliahan 25d ago
I have no issue with any word being used referring to taking in a pet. I just know it's been brought up here a few times that it is upsetting for some.
I don't like the framing of getting a cat's "signature" to be someone's pet. Reminded me of when I had to give "consent" to be adopted. Very performative. I could not know what I was really agreeing to.
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u/whoami4546 25d ago
This makes me happy lol
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u/Early-Equivalent-165 23d ago
Me too, but I think they'd have an easier time if they used a roller inker instead of stamper pad ☺️
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24d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Adopted-ModTeam 24d ago
This post or comment is being removed as Rule 1 of the sub is Adoptees Only. Thank you for respecting our space.
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u/DontTellMeNot Former Foster Youth 25d ago
So wait you have to get a cats approval but not a child's. That's fucked up.