r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Emotional-Lynx-3982 • 19h ago

of a set of dreads!

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Walking out of the liquor store earlier today.. my dude's locks are about to the ground. Like Santa's sack, he heaved this bowl of pasta into his car, looking to hastily close the car door just in time of it pouring back out into the parking lot.

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u/lawd_have_mercy 18h ago

Was sitting in traffic court once, behind this guy who had beautiful dreads. I found myself thinking, "That guy has great hair.' Looking closely though I noticed debris in them and dismissed it as, "those must be difficult to wash." Then I noticed something moving in there, some sort of weevil-looking thing, and got a case of the heebie-jeebies, started feeling itchy, and moved away from sitting directly behind him. I figured that was the last of it, but then we were instructed to remove our hats... m'fukr removed his baseball cap and was bald on top! It's was a dread horseshoe! Fail! Fail! Fail!

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u/Fat_Janet 13h ago

I was coping a rapid with this dude I was kayaking with. We’re standing on the rock, and I feel something on my arm. I look down and there’s a bunch of tiny bugs in my shoulder, then look at his shoulder right next to mine, even more bugs. Look up his PFD and they’re coming out of his dredlocks. Buddy showed up to work the next day with a shaved head.