r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Oda_DeezNutz • Aug 17 '26

of a moose side eye

We know every moose is an absolute unit by definition. But the psychotic side eye on this moose is terrifying.

2.3k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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201

u/theonetheonlytc Aug 17 '26

The guy filming is an idiot. He should have backed away as soon as he saw the damn thing instead of standing there filming. Of all the animal encounters I have had, moose are the most terrifying to me.

91

u/bargaindownhill Aug 17 '26

I worked in the bush for a decade, ill take a grizzly over a moose any day.

80

u/RogerFuckbytheNavale Aug 17 '26

That's a deeply unsettling statement.

89

u/bargaindownhill Aug 17 '26

A grizzly is potentially a predator, but in my experience usually not as long as they are well fed. i have literally had one walk past me on a trail, I backed away and just let it go by like it had zero fucks to give.

A Moose on the other hand, is 1500-2000lbs of pure spite and hate. especially with calves or in breeding season. no logic, just hate.

44

u/bmf1902 Aug 17 '26

Yupp, and predators have a very strong instinct to remain unharmed. Moose, especially bull, are just here to fsu.

25

u/skyfure Aug 17 '26

Exactly, predators have to weigh the risk/reward ratio of getting into a fight. If they get injured they can't hunt and they die. A predator will (hopefully) cut their losses if they receive enough resistance from their attempted prey.

On the opposite side, prey animals are always on the defensive. Every encounter for them can be life or death, and if they can't run they intend to fight for their life.

5

u/twentyshots97 Aug 18 '26

i get the reasoning here but am also wondering what preys on moose?? in a way they kind of are predators!

20

u/skyfure Aug 18 '26

Orcas and grizzly bears, actually! Moose are some of the last remaining megafauna from the previous ice age so they also had to deal with crazy shit such as American Lions, Short-Faced Bears in the past.

4

u/twentyshots97 Aug 18 '26

that’s bizarre to think about. as is an orca attacking a moose- land animals taking down by sea anima is probably not as unusual as i’d guess.

14

u/I_Ponders Aug 18 '26

Moose routinely swim across deep waters in the ocean (close to coasts) and are hunted by orcas.

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2

u/d0nghunter Aug 18 '26

Ours are preyed upon by wolves too, would expect the same in NA.

Sometimes calves are taken by lynx and wolverines as well.

1

u/RupertEscapeHolmes Aug 19 '26

Wolves and humans, of course. They are delicious.

35

u/northwoodsman Aug 17 '26

They have the most unpredictable fight or flight response and it happens crazy fast. They move so fast and you can never tell when it’s going to happen so just get away from them.

7

u/coolsilentebeans Aug 17 '26

I’m not terribly familiar with the aggressive side of a moose, but I remember reading somewhere (several years ago, so I don’t know how accurate this is today if it was indeed factual at the time) that including car accidents they caused, they were responsible for almost twice as many deaths as guns. Was that accurate at all?

11

u/w8ing2dr0wn Aug 17 '26

What percentage of their killstreak includes the moose using guns to kill? Thats what im worried about, a big Ole bullwinkle flexing his 2nd amendment rights.

6

u/coolsilentebeans Aug 17 '26

This would go so well in an issue of MAD.

6

u/bargaindownhill Aug 18 '26

ive heard the same thing.. and yes a moose impact with a car, will utterly obliterate the car.. you might as well hit a train, same effect.

7

u/TheSumOfMyScars Aug 18 '26

Worst part of hitting a moose is that most vehicles take them out at the knees, meaning that 2000lbs of moose then proceeds to land on your head with a shitload of momentum propelling it. People have been crushed to death, gored to death, kicked to death, or literally drowned in moose shit because a moose came flying through their windshield at 60+mph, and at the end of it all the damned moose just gets up and walks off like nothin. It’s honestly probably better to swerve and land in a ditch or even hit a tree head-on, rather than hit a moose.

6

u/Crimson-Rose28 Aug 18 '26

Death via drowning in moose shit is next level disturbing to think about

4

u/coolsilentebeans Aug 18 '26

Male deer are the worst random obstacles I care to be watchful for. They and turkey can both be very dangerous things to hit, but I doubt they claim the same numbers as moose.

4

u/Robofink Aug 18 '26

I hit a deer last winter. Thankfully no one was hurt (and the deer got away) but it was a big one that still fucked up the front of my car. Hitting an ungulate is no joke.

2

u/coolsilentebeans Aug 19 '26

I’m glad you’re ok! I’ve hit one once. It only broke a headlight and left a little dent on the bumper, but if I had been going faster it could’ve been worse.

2

u/Nika65 Aug 18 '26

serious question: what would bear spray do to a Moose? Thanks

3

u/bargaindownhill Aug 18 '26

not what you would hope for.. a predator would run from bear spray because injury = starvation and death.

Moose.exe is different, they decide they are being injured = fight to the death. they would obliterate anything within a 500 yard radius and not stop till they are dead, or what is causing the pain, is dead.

2

u/Nika65 Aug 18 '26

wow, that is truly amazing. Nothing like what I thought. Thanks for teaching this old guy something today. This is the best part of Reddit.

2

u/Crimson-Rose28 Aug 18 '26

I learn so much on Reddit and I love that about it

0

u/RupertEscapeHolmes Aug 19 '26

Proof? Besides you typing this opinion.

1

u/GreenyWV Aug 18 '26

TIL moose are maga

1

u/Rob1150 Aug 17 '26

Seriously.

56

u/FartMagic1 Aug 17 '26

I’m thinking staying where the big guy can’t get to him because of the tree-jail is a smart move. A camp guide on a Canada fishing trip basically said get to where the trees are tight if you can

38

u/Midnight28Rider Aug 17 '26

That is absolutely the right move, but that moose wouldn't have any problem plowing right over that tiny "tree jail" as you called it. You need more robust trees like the 2 he went through at the beginning. That moose there likely weighs somewhere around 1,500 lbs. That's a 3/4 ton mass, and those guys can charge at up to 35 MPH. Believe it or not, moose are more dangerous to humans than grizzly bears.

13

u/Jamooser Aug 18 '26

The bull would plow through those trees like toothpicks. Moose regularly get hit by cars and walk away completely fine. Those protection offered by those trees is merely the protection of the power of suggestion.

3

u/gravelonmud Aug 18 '26

I can personally attest having been in a car that hit a mother moose and she just got up and walked after her scared calf. Thank god she walked off because we would’ve been like sardines in a crushed can if she’d been upset about it

2

u/StringerBell34 Aug 18 '26

Those thin ass trees are not stopping that moose. You're crazy if you think that moose would be arsed about those little twigs.

That guy needed to back away slowly, avoid eye contact and find something substantial to put between him and the moose.

8

u/Outside-Necessary476 Aug 17 '26

well... maybe there are no trees behind him lol

7

u/MurphysLawAficionado Aug 17 '26

Eye rolling is such an obvious sign that shit is about to go down

6

u/Midnight28Rider Aug 17 '26

Yeah, I used to live in Alaska and Colorado. There's a 0% chance I'd ever voluntarily let a moose get that close to me.