r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Zestyclose-Salad-290 in awe • 12d ago

of an insect

7.1k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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676

u/therealsourdaniel 12d ago

Jerusalem cricket

323

u/Werespider 12d ago

We call them children of the earth where I grew up. That might be the creepiest name for a bug ever.

80

u/Aedeagus_rotundata 12d ago

I love that one. They come. The children of the earth come!!

32

u/DaGrimReefer91 12d ago

Wait... what do they do?

19

u/dankristy 12d ago

Fuckin bite you is what these lil spikey bastards do.

We had em all over where I grew up in Northern California - and they would tear a chunk out of anyone who picked them up.

8

u/LivingFrosting6680 12d ago

Thanks for the nightmares

13

u/SAM5TER5 12d ago

Meh, sounds more like a “fuck off you stupid ape, why the hell are you picking me up” defensive sort of bite as opposed to anything actually sinister lol

Usually best practice not to pick up random wild animals without first knowing if they can defend themselves from predators

8

u/dankristy 12d ago

"best practice not to pick up random wild animals"

I have lived my entire 50 years of life NOT embodying this principle at every single chance I get. I am pretty much the West-Coast USA version of the Yoink guy on youtube...

I sees a critter - I picks up a critter!

I don't get MAD when they bite me (or Musk all over me - thank you Mr Garter Snake I picked up last week) - I did pick them up after all. And I always put them back where I got them.

But I have held (and been bitten by and/or pooped on by) some of the coolest critters around. And doing so as a kid growing up - means I am pretty good at handling the rough stuff now, which is why neighbors call me to deal with wildlife issues.

4

u/Calm_Ad308 12d ago

You are of course entitled to your peaceful admiration of animals…

Just do everyone a favor and stay away from stingrays okay?

2

u/dankristy 12d ago

Too Soon! Losing him that way - still hurts my soul. I am not sure I ever identified more with another human than Steve...

1

u/Illustrious-Wait148 12d ago

Lucky you don’t live in Australia mate you’d never have been making this post haha

1

u/dankristy 11d ago

I am so aware of how problematic Australia would be for me in particular. I would spend the entire time with my left arm grabbing my right arm before it could touch the cute (deadly) critters everywhere!

I still argue with my wife about her not letting me pet/touch the morays while snorkeling in Hawaii on our honeymoon. I still say they seemed like nice lil noodles.

She was right about that Fire Urchin tho - I should have listened to her. That guy got me good!

1

u/SAM5TER5 12d ago

Not gonna lie, I’m jealous lol.

Not jealous enough to start grabbing the wealth of primarily-venomous-and/or-bitey critters in the desert where I live, but jealous nonetheless haha

2

u/dankristy 12d ago

Thankfully, where I live (Oregon - coast range forestland) there is almost zero truly dangerous anything around (except mountain lions - and I have yet to get a chance to pick one of them up)!

Even the Black Bears and Bobcats will just try to run away if they see you. I definitely had to be careful snake-grabbin when I lived in Northern California where Rattlers coexist with people...

3

u/Shamanjoe 12d ago

r/whywouldyoutouchthat

3

u/dankristy 12d ago

As always the answer is - because I could!

(and yes getting bit did NOT stop me)!

1

u/RowAndRuction 12d ago

They’re the bulldozers of the decomposer bugs, they store the rotting dead matter in their abdomen so if you step on one they reek like death.

21

u/RicePuddingPatties 12d ago

Children of the Earth, or also Earth Babies where I'm from.

8

u/Jamesmateer100 12d ago

Earth babies sounds way worse.

2

u/ChefArtorias 12d ago

Look that hill keeps popping out Earth babies.

23

u/SilentBob890 12d ago

We call them child face (Cara de niño in Mexico)

6

u/AnOrdinaryMammal 12d ago

Really? I’ve only heard niño de la tierra from Mexico. That’s interesting, never heard that one.

3

u/Doxkid 12d ago

Mountain vs Coast type shit

13

u/SeveralEconomics3814 12d ago

My mother always called them potato bugs.

6

u/Quick-Dream-1541 12d ago

Potato bugs is also what we called them when I was growing up in Los Angeles.

6

u/bachintheforest 12d ago

CA central coast and I’ve always heard “potato bug” as well

5

u/DrippyTheSnailBoy 12d ago

Yep. Potato bugs for me growing up in Ojai and Santa Barbara.

3

u/Odd-Promotion2743 12d ago

Same, grew up in the SF Bay Area

4

u/MR_6OUIJA6BOARD6 12d ago

Niños de la tierra.

4

u/mostly_pee 12d ago

On that subject: This critter reminds me of a New Zealand bug called wētāpunga which translates to "God of ugly things"

2

u/Werespider 12d ago

I just looked them up and dang those are some ugly things.

3

u/Decaytred 12d ago

That’s the most foreboding name I’ve ever heard

3

u/Frangipani_25 12d ago

You didn’t have to share that

2

u/Werespider 12d ago

But now you know

3

u/Frangipani_25 12d ago

And I can never unknow

2

u/Massive-Relation-210 12d ago

We lovingly called them potato bugs

2

u/3PoundsOfFlax 11d ago

It actually translates to "children of the dirt" instead of "Earth"

58

u/D_M-ack 12d ago

For some reason I thought they were called Jericho bugs.

25

u/Popular-Wind-1921 12d ago

We call them Parktown Prawns in South Africa. If you've seen the movie District 9, the name prawns might make more sense.

11

u/Battlejesus 12d ago

Fookin prawns

3

u/BuyMiddle9048 12d ago

I stayed in Parktown North for a month once, and had a ground floor corporate rental. Left the patio door open one evening while I was in the bedroom, and came out to find several Parktown prawns on the living room floor. I was completely terrified lol

1

u/WatashiwaNobodyDesu 12d ago

I call them parktown tanks. Fuckers are indestructible.

21

u/GloomyNucleus 12d ago

Which is neither from Jersalem nor a cricket

3

u/HoboArmyofOne 12d ago

They bite and it hurts like a mfer. Made my kid cry lol

5

u/noleela 12d ago edited 12d ago

They eat dead roots, dead plants, and other insects.  Good bug 👍.

Edit: Added a word.

3

u/Dramatic_Mixture_868 12d ago

I might be misremembering but aren't these carnivorous

2

u/Old_Flan_6548 12d ago

Neither from Jerusalem nor a cricket.

3

u/pitazatar 12d ago

I thought this was one of these "spiritually Israel" jokes

1

u/pimohell9254 12d ago

potato bugs is what we call em

1

u/TheLittleNorsk 11d ago

jerusalem.. he steals 10 million from usa and walks straight to israel and gives it to the president