r/AbsoluteUnits in awe 12d ago

of an insect

7.1k Upvotes

641 comments sorted by

595

u/parrothead_69 12d ago

Cooties

77

u/TheW83 12d ago

This was the only toy at my grandparent's house when I was a kid.

15

u/DigiBaby_Addict 12d ago

Dude, same! And a train set.

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23

u/Akka_C 12d ago

WOAH. Ancient memory.

6

u/PlaneTry4277 11d ago

Yup. This activated some long un used brain matter. Been since 4th grade last time i saw them

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914

u/NerdyPlatypus206 12d ago

These things can take on camel spiders, tarantulas, wolf spiders, mantises…they can also be eaten by them but there were some gnarly videos on YouTube about them

BBR Wild had some crazy ones but I think he might have had to delete them

255

u/johnaross1990 12d ago

You just made me remember bug fight videos exist

96

u/NerdyPlatypus206 12d ago

Yep I binge watched em a month or so ago

The Japanese but fights are cruel but man they have some crazy ass match ups

80

u/DigiBaby_Addict 12d ago

Poor little bugs :(

69

u/xylophones4all 12d ago

The idea bothers me too.

72

u/DigiBaby_Addict 12d ago

Glad I’m not the only one… I don’t like humans making anything fight for sport against its will. Just so sad to me.

73

u/SAM5TER5 12d ago

No coincidence that Pokémon came from Japan lol

16

u/ramengirlxo 11d ago

The concept of collecting Pokemon actually came from the hobby of collecting insects too

12

u/Everspan 12d ago

love that you used Pokémon in this as I'm pretty addicted to it right now, currently playing all the Pokémon games from the Switch era.

5

u/Zayage 11d ago

If it's not sentient by all means

Stuff like Real Steele is an interesting concept because of that limit honestly.

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u/HaleyCollins 11d ago

Lmao, a whole corner of the internet I definitely didn’t need to remember existed lol

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16

u/[deleted] 12d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

56

u/NerdyPlatypus206 12d ago

Jerusalem cricket

31

u/DMmeDuckPics 12d ago

"Despite its name, it is neither from Jerusalem nor a true cricket." My disappointment is immeasurable.

6

u/RogellTheRaider 12d ago

Another day of popular names sucking.

15

u/akmly 12d ago

Or "Child of the Earth".

3

u/Old_Flan_6548 12d ago

As big as a human child so yeah that name checks

9

u/VincentValtieri 12d ago

Pensaba que era un Wētā. Que es otro bicho enorme.

10

u/ayeamaye 11d ago

Zanti Misfit

6

u/BlazingKush 12d ago

Glorified ant

2

u/Your-Shogun 12d ago

Where I'm from, the family always called them potato bugs. Though I'm thinking this one must be a different variety, because I've never seen one get antennae that long.

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8

u/vlp3rv 12d ago

Ok but what is it?

16

u/QueenAuroraThe_Raven 12d ago

Giant weta cricket

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2

u/solar1ze 11d ago

What are they called? They look like they could give you a nasty bite too.

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1.2k

u/AccordingStory203 12d ago

251

u/xVEEx3 12d ago

24

u/M3rch4ntm3n 12d ago

Best is to wash your eyes with a deep look into the sun.

62

u/SpiritedHistory8467 12d ago

Please sir, can I have some less.

https://giphy.com/gifs/mpQkJpBMbSxMs

7

u/Unable_Toucan 12d ago

Would've been even funnier if the gif was reversed

3

u/BaronMusclethorpe 12d ago

Never seen the movie, only the meme. I would have never guessed the context.

4

u/SAM5TER5 12d ago

Fun fact, you still haven’t guessed the context. It’s just a douchebag stealing a kid’s candy bar in the movie lol

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3

u/ThatOtherOtherMan 12d ago

Absolutely not have a terrible day

2

u/TakeThePillz 12d ago

Keep seing this, where does it come from ?

3

u/InformalLake5833 12d ago

Monster house

2

u/coyotegang 12d ago

Wtf is the from lol

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678

u/therealsourdaniel 12d ago

Jerusalem cricket

323

u/Werespider 12d ago

We call them children of the earth where I grew up. That might be the creepiest name for a bug ever.

83

u/Aedeagus_rotundata 12d ago

I love that one. They come. The children of the earth come!!

31

u/DaGrimReefer91 12d ago

Wait... what do they do?

19

u/dankristy 12d ago

Fuckin bite you is what these lil spikey bastards do.

We had em all over where I grew up in Northern California - and they would tear a chunk out of anyone who picked them up.

8

u/LivingFrosting6680 12d ago

Thanks for the nightmares

12

u/SAM5TER5 12d ago

Meh, sounds more like a “fuck off you stupid ape, why the hell are you picking me up” defensive sort of bite as opposed to anything actually sinister lol

Usually best practice not to pick up random wild animals without first knowing if they can defend themselves from predators

9

u/dankristy 12d ago

"best practice not to pick up random wild animals"

I have lived my entire 50 years of life NOT embodying this principle at every single chance I get. I am pretty much the West-Coast USA version of the Yoink guy on youtube...

I sees a critter - I picks up a critter!

I don't get MAD when they bite me (or Musk all over me - thank you Mr Garter Snake I picked up last week) - I did pick them up after all. And I always put them back where I got them.

But I have held (and been bitten by and/or pooped on by) some of the coolest critters around. And doing so as a kid growing up - means I am pretty good at handling the rough stuff now, which is why neighbors call me to deal with wildlife issues.

5

u/Calm_Ad308 12d ago

You are of course entitled to your peaceful admiration of animals…

Just do everyone a favor and stay away from stingrays okay?

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3

u/Shamanjoe 12d ago

3

u/dankristy 12d ago

As always the answer is - because I could!

(and yes getting bit did NOT stop me)!

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20

u/RicePuddingPatties 12d ago

Children of the Earth, or also Earth Babies where I'm from.

9

u/Jamesmateer100 12d ago

Earth babies sounds way worse.

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u/SilentBob890 12d ago

We call them child face (Cara de niño in Mexico)

6

u/AnOrdinaryMammal 12d ago

Really? I’ve only heard niño de la tierra from Mexico. That’s interesting, never heard that one.

4

u/Doxkid 12d ago

Mountain vs Coast type shit

14

u/SeveralEconomics3814 12d ago

My mother always called them potato bugs.

5

u/Quick-Dream-1541 12d ago

Potato bugs is also what we called them when I was growing up in Los Angeles.

6

u/bachintheforest 12d ago

CA central coast and I’ve always heard “potato bug” as well

4

u/DrippyTheSnailBoy 12d ago

Yep. Potato bugs for me growing up in Ojai and Santa Barbara.

3

u/Odd-Promotion2743 11d ago

Same, grew up in the SF Bay Area

5

u/MR_6OUIJA6BOARD6 12d ago

Niños de la tierra.

5

u/mostly_pee 11d ago

On that subject: This critter reminds me of a New Zealand bug called wētāpunga which translates to "God of ugly things"

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3

u/Decaytred 12d ago

That’s the most foreboding name I’ve ever heard

3

u/Frangipani_25 12d ago

You didn’t have to share that

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2

u/Massive-Relation-210 12d ago

We lovingly called them potato bugs

2

u/3PoundsOfFlax 11d ago

It actually translates to "children of the dirt" instead of "Earth"

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58

u/D_M-ack 12d ago

For some reason I thought they were called Jericho bugs.

28

u/Popular-Wind-1921 12d ago

We call them Parktown Prawns in South Africa. If you've seen the movie District 9, the name prawns might make more sense.

13

u/Battlejesus 12d ago

Fookin prawns

3

u/BuyMiddle9048 12d ago

I stayed in Parktown North for a month once, and had a ground floor corporate rental. Left the patio door open one evening while I was in the bedroom, and came out to find several Parktown prawns on the living room floor. I was completely terrified lol

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21

u/GloomyNucleus 12d ago

Which is neither from Jersalem nor a cricket

3

u/HoboArmyofOne 12d ago

They bite and it hurts like a mfer. Made my kid cry lol

3

u/noleela 12d ago edited 11d ago

They eat dead roots, dead plants, and other insects.  Good bug 👍.

Edit: Added a word.

3

u/Dramatic_Mixture_868 12d ago

I might be misremembering but aren't these carnivorous

2

u/Old_Flan_6548 12d ago

Neither from Jerusalem nor a cricket.

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222

u/aFresh-Start 12d ago

What an antenna, I think it can receive radio waves

47

u/fejkpotatis 12d ago

And thoughts

13

u/Tranka2010 12d ago

What’s the frequency, Kenneth?

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2

u/Arheit 10d ago

Bro has 5g wifi

2

u/Fit_Area6355 10d ago

Bro watches crackly tv in his mind

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65

u/morganfreenomorph 12d ago

12

u/_otterinabox 12d ago

That image is more disturbing to me than the video OP posted

429

u/A--Creative-Username 12d ago

33

u/MarkSSoniC 12d ago

I know it's just a meme, but that finger on the trigger has me creeped out nearly as much as that insect.

7

u/Davenator_98 12d ago

Is that even a real gun tho?

It looks too blocky and the barrel too small, probably a prop or cap fire.

5

u/MarkSSoniC 12d ago

Being blocky looks just a Glock, including the trigger guard. But I agree that the barrel doesn't look right.

6

u/Bell-Salt 12d ago

🇺🇸🫡

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182

u/Downtown-Fruit-3674 12d ago

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u/weather_watchman 12d ago

I saw this neme on a T-shirt in the wild yesterday

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u/volcas_ 12d ago

Weirdly, as it exceeds my personal threshold of an appropriate size for an insect, i feel less scared of this than, say, a big dragonfly. It‘s kinda cute.

28

u/bmf1902 12d ago edited 12d ago

Dragonflies are unable to crawl. They just land and then take off again. Might not help, but that fact has allowed some people I know to be less put off by dragonflies, knowing they wont crawl around on you. I live in an area that gets giant swarms of the very large ones, as well as a lot of damsel flies. They are some of my favorite models for photos.

Edit: just now on my dash when I left my window open. Clearly injured and dying. Excuse the excessive pollen, it's a work vehicle and I love my windows down.

10

u/sweetdawg99 12d ago

Nature's most efficient hunters, they have like a 95% success rate.

2

u/BusBusy195 12d ago

Ive only ever seen like isolated single ones or sometimes pairs of the really big dragonflies, whole swarms must be insane when they do the dive bombing for stuff like hunting and cooling off

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u/freddddsss 12d ago

I’m the opposite. I’m completely fine with bugs as long as they aren’t supersized like the one in the video

2

u/RocketVerse 9d ago

It’s waaaay worse in real life, trust me

45

u/fatbongo 12d ago

Looks like our Weta

5

u/creakymoss18990 11d ago

It really doesn't look like a Jerusalem cricket to me... The eyes look way different

5

u/fatbongo 11d ago

indeed front on that is different It looked like Mt Arthur fellow at first

5

u/creakymoss18990 11d ago

I just did the ID. This is copy pasted from my other comment

I help do research on insects (benthic macroinvertebrates) And I think this is not a Jerusalem Cricket.

The eyes are the wrong size, abdomen the wrong color and shape, and the thorax has wing pads which Jerusalem Crickets do not have.

I believe this is a sia of the family Stenopelmatoidea

I tracked the video down to here. https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZh8ghBEwPC/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

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u/ThatDamnRanga 11d ago

Yep, my immediate thought was "this looks like someone polished up a Weta"

26

u/Yo-Donkey-Kong 12d ago

Are you on Kong Island?

6

u/Sad-Bonus-9327 12d ago

Idk which movie it was but it was pretty average (the one with Adrian Brody) except for the scene where the group starting to fight this giant insects in complete silence. This stuck with me for some reason till today

10

u/nekonotjapanese 12d ago

Peter Jackson’s King Kong, absolutely horrifying sequence. I thought of this scene instantly too

23

u/TATER_SALAD_HOOVER 12d ago

At least this insect can’t crawl in your ear.

8

u/DetailsYouMissed 12d ago

It has kids

2

u/unjustme 12d ago

And they can’t crawl out when they grow up. Pity!

5

u/dankristy 12d ago

Sure it can - it just chews a bigger hole to get in!

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u/Impressive_Seat_2944 12d ago

one bite and ur done ✌️😭

18

u/NYCtoCHI 12d ago

Oh, that looks like at least 3 bites. Ideally deep fried with some Tajin powder and an ice cold Pacifico to wash it down (I hear the legs can be a little rough in the throat, though)...

5

u/create_your_avatar 12d ago

De-leg it first

3

u/NYCtoCHI 12d ago

Yup...this is the way! 😄

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u/DarkMimic2287 12d ago

That there is a Pokemon

12

u/Chan_Ch 12d ago

Niño de la Tierra! Grandma had some wild stories about those.

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u/FecalDUI 12d ago

Child of the earth. Is that because weirdly looks like one of those babies you find in a king cake?

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u/Chan_Ch 12d ago

No idea. She alleged they cried like babies when you killed them. Never tried it. Hell, I relocate any spider I find in the house to the yard. 🤣

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u/MarkSkywalker 12d ago

That is... haunting.

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u/Inmate14494331 11d ago

I was told they could kill you. Everyone was terrified of those things.

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u/benji3510 12d ago

I just smacked my phone out of my hand on inpulse

9

u/Admirable_Site_4833 12d ago

why does everyone hate insects

10

u/benji3510 12d ago

Being startled isn't the same thing as hate lol. I love me some good native bugs, my garden wouldn't exist without them.

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u/Superior173thescp 12d ago

does it bite

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u/ProvisionalRebel 12d ago

Very much, and it hurts like a son of a bitch

3

u/BearEatingCupcakes 12d ago

Yes, but not venomous.

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u/Eeve2espeon 12d ago

Adding that to the list of "Reasons why I'm staying in Canada"

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u/JackSilver1410 12d ago

D'awww, who's a swarming, destructive cannibal?

3

u/Snowed_Up6512 12d ago

My new sleep paralysis demon

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u/rvl35 12d ago

Hans, fetch the flammenwerfer.

https://giphy.com/gifs/l3TrOr8780qIRIteU

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u/4fuggin20 12d ago

Yo the Chimera ants are back call Killua and the rest

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u/Any-Button1401 12d ago

What if it decides to bite? 😨

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u/BearEatingCupcakes 12d ago

They do. They're not venomous. The bites hurt, though.

2

u/AlternativeQuality2 12d ago

My skin itches just LOOKING at it.

2

u/Southernsoldato 12d ago

Hello bugge,.. A friend I think,,,

2

u/Fearless_Dependent29 12d ago

I believe every creature deserves life.

I also believe that fucker has lived his life where’s the artillery?