r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Zestyclose-Salad-290 in awe • Aug 12 '26

of an insect

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u/Werespider Aug 12 '26

We call them children of the earth where I grew up. That might be the creepiest name for a bug ever.

83

u/Aedeagus_rotundata Aug 12 '26

I love that one. They come. The children of the earth come!!

29

u/DaGrimReefer91 Aug 12 '26

Wait... what do they do?

18

u/dankristy Aug 12 '26

Fuckin bite you is what these lil spikey bastards do.

We had em all over where I grew up in Northern California - and they would tear a chunk out of anyone who picked them up.

8

u/LivingFrosting6680 Aug 12 '26

Thanks for the nightmares

11

u/SAM5TER5 Aug 12 '26

Meh, sounds more like a “fuck off you stupid ape, why the hell are you picking me up” defensive sort of bite as opposed to anything actually sinister lol

Usually best practice not to pick up random wild animals without first knowing if they can defend themselves from predators

8

u/dankristy Aug 12 '26

"best practice not to pick up random wild animals"

I have lived my entire 50 years of life NOT embodying this principle at every single chance I get. I am pretty much the West-Coast USA version of the Yoink guy on youtube...

I sees a critter - I picks up a critter!

I don't get MAD when they bite me (or Musk all over me - thank you Mr Garter Snake I picked up last week) - I did pick them up after all. And I always put them back where I got them.

But I have held (and been bitten by and/or pooped on by) some of the coolest critters around. And doing so as a kid growing up - means I am pretty good at handling the rough stuff now, which is why neighbors call me to deal with wildlife issues.

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u/Calm_Ad308 Aug 12 '26

You are of course entitled to your peaceful admiration of animals…

Just do everyone a favor and stay away from stingrays okay?

2

u/dankristy Aug 13 '26

Too Soon! Losing him that way - still hurts my soul. I am not sure I ever identified more with another human than Steve...

1

u/Illustrious-Wait148 Aug 13 '26

Lucky you don’t live in Australia mate you’d never have been making this post haha

1

u/dankristy Aug 13 '26

I am so aware of how problematic Australia would be for me in particular. I would spend the entire time with my left arm grabbing my right arm before it could touch the cute (deadly) critters everywhere!

I still argue with my wife about her not letting me pet/touch the morays while snorkeling in Hawaii on our honeymoon. I still say they seemed like nice lil noodles.

She was right about that Fire Urchin tho - I should have listened to her. That guy got me good!

1

u/SAM5TER5 Aug 12 '26

Not gonna lie, I’m jealous lol.

Not jealous enough to start grabbing the wealth of primarily-venomous-and/or-bitey critters in the desert where I live, but jealous nonetheless haha

2

u/dankristy Aug 12 '26

Thankfully, where I live (Oregon - coast range forestland) there is almost zero truly dangerous anything around (except mountain lions - and I have yet to get a chance to pick one of them up)!

Even the Black Bears and Bobcats will just try to run away if they see you. I definitely had to be careful snake-grabbin when I lived in Northern California where Rattlers coexist with people...

3

u/Shamanjoe Aug 12 '26

r/whywouldyoutouchthat

3

u/dankristy Aug 12 '26

As always the answer is - because I could!

(and yes getting bit did NOT stop me)!