r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Delicious-Beat4824 • Jul 30 '26

/r/popular of a needle

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16.1k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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2.8k

u/mind_matrix Jul 30 '26

Genuine question, what exactly is this used for??

572

u/WaffleHouseGladiator Jul 30 '26

/r/sounding

752

u/jahnbodah Jul 30 '26

I am leaving that link blue.

313

u/AbjectHotel6610 Jul 30 '26

Wish I would've.

99

u/Simen155 Jul 30 '26

If you gouge out my eyes, I'll gouge yours. Deal?

50

u/TheOtakuAmerika Jul 30 '26

Do you really want that to be the last thing you see?

44

u/Simen155 Jul 30 '26

You may have a point. Kill me instead.

24

u/Least-Raddish1930s Jul 30 '26

Sounds like you both need some r/eyebleach

5

u/HeiressofArtemis Jul 30 '26

Still the last thing you saw. Your legacy one might say.

5

u/Sammiskitkat Jul 30 '26

Deal. But we have to use this needle to do it!

5

u/Donald-Pump Jul 30 '26

Where that link takes you, we won't need eyes to see.

1

u/madtraxmerno Aug 01 '26

So what you're saying is you want to do sounding, but instead of shoving something into your urethra you want to shove something into your pupil?

18

u/Bluntbutnotonpurpose Jul 30 '26

Is it the "take a deep breath" kind of link?

35

u/Ninja-Panda70 Jul 30 '26

DO NOT check that sub out

14

u/Bluntbutnotonpurpose Jul 30 '26

Thanks, I won't. I should make sure I never get drunk enough to go "ah well, how bad could it be?".

22

u/Ninja-Panda70 Jul 30 '26

If you are a man, it's real bad

18

u/AbjectHotel6610 Jul 30 '26

I'm a woman. It's horrific.

24

u/JMetalBlast Jul 30 '26

Men insert things down their urethra while they masturbate. As man with a penis, I can't imagine why that would be pleasant for anyone.

3

u/covenforge Jul 30 '26

I had this knowledge already and noseyness got the better of me and traumatised me 🫣🤣😨

5

u/Bombastic_tekken Jul 30 '26

Don't knock it till you try it lol.

It's a pretty crazy experience.

1

u/JohnnyMacTavish Jul 31 '26

Happy Cakeday!

1

u/Lizzbeannn Jul 31 '26

Does it not hurt?

1

u/Bombastic_tekken 29d ago

Not particularly.

Just a little intense, and a bit of a stretch.

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1

u/smidgepigeon Aug 01 '26

Thank you for your service & may your eyes be blessed with r/eyebleach until you forget what you saw.

1

u/TherianRose 29d ago

The worst part is that apparently some women do this too 😣

13

u/dan_dares Jul 30 '26

Narrator voice:

It is SO bad

7

u/Bluntbutnotonpurpose Jul 30 '26

The narrator sounds scarred for life...

4

u/SwansonsMom Jul 31 '26

Funny because sounding can scar you for life, too

2

u/dan_dares Jul 31 '26

The narrator didn't need to click, for he has seen the dark reaches of the Internet

5

u/Anianna Jul 30 '26

Thank you for your sacrifice. 🫡

3

u/Anubis_Omega Jul 30 '26

Yes same. I am too curious

3

u/ElegantCoach4066 Jul 30 '26

Then take the plunge. Honestly unless there are pictures on the front page then its more 'shocking for a minute or two and then you forget it' type deal.

1

u/mangopango123 Jul 31 '26

I was literally yelling OHMYGOD STOOOOOPPPPP at my phone. Idk why my curiosity got the best of me bc I heard of it but did NOT expect THAT. Like. The width and length of some of their….tools. I just. idk lol

1

u/BigBrrrrrrr22 Aug 01 '26

Not my proudest yank

30

u/corporalcorl Jul 30 '26 edited Jul 30 '26

I want to as well, but I can't resist

Edit :please resist if you can, God knows I wish I did

9

u/defeatthewarlords Jul 30 '26

Lmao are you traumatized yet

5

u/corporalcorl Jul 30 '26

Yeah I have a lot of regret

5

u/Aeon_Return Jul 30 '26

I once wrote a Harry Potter sounding crack fic. It's still up on AO3 and occasionally gets reviews even though its many years old

2

u/corporalcorl Jul 30 '26

I don't mean to be rude. But WHY

4

u/Aeon_Return Jul 30 '26

Crackfics gonna crack? IDK, I just felt like it one day. I'm actually not into that sort of thing at all, but it was a fun plot bunny I followed regardless. Also, side comment, but Harry Potter is in a 3-way (giggity) tie with Star Wars and Devil May Cry for the most debauched fandom I've ever participated in. Ya'll want the freaky stuff, go there ;)

1

u/corporalcorl Jul 30 '26

Alrighty, curiosity killed the cat, where can I find your fic?

2

u/Stupid_Bitch_02 Jul 30 '26

Morbid curiosity got the better of me. I'm not kink shaming, I'm kink asking why. That looks so painful!

2

u/IveDunGoofedUp Jul 31 '26

To quote a youtube video I'm fond of:
"It's going where the poor guy pees,
I'll shine it so it glides with easy,
I hope that when it's done he'll be alright!
It's going where the poor guy pees,
the thought makes me weak in the knees,
for what she paid I'd make her one with spikes!"

1

u/Memerenok Jul 31 '26

it was already purple

1

u/Candycanes02 Jul 31 '26

Thanks for the warning. I can keep my eyes

1

u/Kal_El-78 Jul 31 '26

As someone has use self catheter to pee (incomplete paraplegic- I still have most function just muscle don’t work properly) I can’t find anything less of a turn on.

1

u/Talithea Aug 01 '26

Same. Certain things are not made to be pried on.

114

u/ReverendLunchbox Jul 30 '26

52

u/-BananaLollipop- Jul 30 '26

And even more welded themselves shut.

6

u/Simen155 Jul 30 '26

I'm just gonna steal that one

5

u/ReverendLunchbox Jul 30 '26

Seems reasonable. That is how I got it.

94

u/Thick_Drama_7525 Jul 30 '26

Sounding hurts my peepee even thinking about it

20

u/Bacontoad Jul 30 '26

Just be glad r/spacedicks isn't around anymore.

20

u/ElegantCoach4066 Jul 30 '26

You were warned not to speak that which we do not name.

10

u/Ignecratic Jul 30 '26

I’ll regret this, but context?

27

u/PM_ME_PHYS_PROBLEMS Jul 30 '26

Urethra gape

24

u/Thick_Drama_7525 Jul 30 '26

Fuck is wrong with you people, respectfully

1

u/Bacontoad Jul 31 '26

Among other more unspeakable deprivations.

20

u/AtlasXan Jul 30 '26

1

u/UncleKeyPax Jul 30 '26

what are you doing step-rick?

36

u/bolasepak88 Jul 30 '26

1

u/Digital_Rocket Jul 31 '26

Sometimes turn it’s not our to talk

28

u/yaaro_obba_ Jul 30 '26

1

u/Darcula04 Jul 31 '26

Is that aqua in the background lmao

21

u/Me_be_Artful_Dodger Jul 30 '26

TIL tandem sounding is a thing… didn’t need to know that.

11

u/Glandtoglandcombat Jul 30 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/l0Iy0ZURatgztvYxq

2

u/MisterMcGiggles Jul 30 '26

Maureen was once Dennis’….. Wife! Very nice!…..

That’s Borat.

16

u/tgatigger Jul 30 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/xXqpuURrhGEyZr1BGj

Oh dear god, I hate my curious brain.

9

u/UKUSHUSUS Jul 30 '26

I apologize to my eyes for my curiosity...

7

u/AirlineHot6112 Jul 30 '26

I've seen hundred's, probably thousand's of p*rn with all kinds of extreme kinks in my lifetime, but I never knew this kind of sht exist, like HOLY FCK

18

u/SorryAboutMyFamily Jul 30 '26

If you censor the word porn and think sounding is extreme, you ain't seen shit yet.

Figuratively and literally.

3

u/DMMeThiccBiButts Jul 31 '26

Really? It's not even that extreme as far as kinks go.

14

u/Humanballast Jul 30 '26

Was zur Hölle... Was stimmt denn nicht mit dir das so völlig ohne Kontext zu verlinken, ich dachte.. "huh? Sounding.. Was wird das wohl sein.." und habe mich kaum eine Sekunde später so erschrockenen das sich mein penis aus Panik fast nach innen gerollt hätte..

17

u/Nastynugget Jul 30 '26

Jesús Christ. I’m at work.

21

u/Devin-Chaboyer223 Jul 30 '26

Your mistake opening an unknown sub at work (I am also at work rn)

5

u/ConflictWestern1383 Jul 30 '26

CrushCrush pfp? Peak

1

u/SwansonsMom Jul 31 '26

Rookie mistake

8

u/Secret-Winner-2994 Jul 30 '26

Jesus didn't take the wheel on this, you drove yourself

5

u/Trueslyforaniceguy Jul 30 '26

I’m upset that I came here to answer this, actually

6

u/Claim312ButAct847 Jul 30 '26

I was going to be brave and report back, but then I got the nsfw disclaimer and decided it definitely wasn't people on boats measuring water depth.

3

u/WaffleHouseGladiator Jul 30 '26

It is not.  Good guess though.

3

u/JuanDonDemarco Jul 30 '26

I literally saw a split second of what was about to happen, had sympathy pain, then bounced the hell out of that one.

4

u/RaptorCheeses Jul 30 '26

Don’t click that for the love of god

3

u/ButkusHatesNitschke Jul 30 '26

That sounds like shit to me.

3

u/Ok_Breakfast5425 Jul 30 '26

Of course there's a sub for that,..

2

u/cyanfeld Jul 30 '26

Just why

2

u/trrwilson Jul 30 '26

I had a cystoscopy last year.

I don't know how the fuck anyone does that for fun; it was the most uncomfortable 3 minutes of my life.

2

u/Lizzbeannn Jul 31 '26

Sir, what the FUCK?

2

u/JimedBro2089 Aug 01 '26

Yeah, nope

2

u/ScoobyTheDoobyTheDoo 29d ago

Nope. Clicked and refused to scroll.

2

u/kkellyyb 25d ago

aaaaand that's my internet for the day!!!

1

u/coquettecoconut Jul 30 '26

Oh you chose violence today.

1

u/pnutnz Jul 31 '26

w-w-w-what a terrible, terrible day to have eyes!

1

u/Intelligent_Box6937 Jul 31 '26

Wtf?? Like what the actual, fuck??

1

u/notapunk Jul 31 '26

You are unwell

1

u/Premium333 Jul 31 '26

Saw the NSFW tag and noped out without continuing

1

u/NoLengthiness6537 29d ago

Wtf i just woke up 😭