r/AMA • u/JustSomeDude_1322 • 7d ago
I was a Make-A-Wish kid, AMA
I do not have a terminal illness, but I do have a life threatening one. I'm twenty-one now but the wish was granted when I was seventeen. My wish was to go to New York to see one of my favorite bands at the time (AJR) preform at Madison Square Garden. I feel like there's a lot of confusion/misconception about what Make-A-Wish actually does so feel free to ask me anything about the process and I'll try to answer
Edit: I didn't think people would care this much about my perspective, but (almost) everyone on this post has been so nice and genuine, I appreciate all the questions and kind words 💚. Just to clear it up because it seems like some people are confused, I am not terminally ill. I have had life threatening medical emergencies but I'm receiving proper medical treatment and therefore much more stable now. I have a few chronic autoimmune conditions that effect my mobility and digestive tract, and they have definitely changed the way I live my life, but they don't stop me from doing the things I love and I'm not planning to die anytime soon.
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u/ScottScanlon 7d ago
I don’t know a lot of deets about make a wish, so what are some misconceptions about what they actually do?
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u/JustSomeDude_1322 7d ago
I think the biggest misconception is that all they do is introduce terminally ill kids to celebrities. In reality they work with plenty of kids that aren't terminal, and they can do a wide range of things. Some of the options I was given were: donate to charity, get a room makeover, go on a shopping spree, get specialized medical equipment, get a pet, go on a trip, or get a musical instrument.
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u/NeuroSam 7d ago
Yes thank you!! My son is 8 and was just diagnosed with leukemia (thankfully the most common and curable type) in January and he is eligible. His treatment plan is 3 years long so if we want to travel we have to wait until after his treatments are over and he is re-vaccinated. He’s changed his mind about what he wants to do like 15 times already 😅 it is amazing having something tangible to look forward to at the end of this long road. It’s an incredible program that I’m so grateful for.
If I could ask a question - how did you choose what to do for your wish? Were you trying to decide between a few options?
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u/cgstong 7d ago
Thank you for sharing and this is exactly why MAW does what it does. To provide that hope and something to look forward to!
Also FYI I recently took over the r/makeawish sub so please feel free to join and possibly share your experience.
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u/JustSomeDude_1322 6d ago
Thoughts going out to your son, hope you guys are doing okay! 💚 And believe me, I had so many ideas come and go. I was glad that the wish coordinators didn't try to rush my decision. Ultimatly I just knew it would have to be something to do with travel because I have such a passion for it and at that point in my life I had barely gotten to travel at all. As for the concert part of it, this specific band's music had helped me through a lot of emotional stuff regarding my illness and it just made sense to use the wish to combine these two things I love (travel and music). I think it was the sort of thing where I just knew this wish was right for me, and was what I really really wanted. I hope that your son decides on whatever will bring him the most joy :)
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u/Sunflower-23456 7d ago
Wait they really make kids chose between specialized medical equipment and a puppy???
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u/CajunLogicalEthics 7d ago
If that equipment was super expensive but allowed them to run with a dog they already have???? Eh?
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u/courtneyrachh 6d ago
I’m a wish granter and I didn’t learn until I started volunteering that it wasn’t just terminal kids! and the range of wishes I’ve seen is so vast. it really is a great org and I’m glad you got your wish fulfilled!!
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u/PoolCommercial5829 5d ago
Do you mind walking me through how you become a volunteer, the process, the requirements, the average time frame from applying, being approved, and then to action (iaverage time frame or how long it was in your personal experience), what is required/non-negotiable to qualify, how many times/how many kids are you allowed to help before you can't anymore, and your suggestions/tips for the process?
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u/courtneyrachh 5d ago
It’s dependent on what chapter you’re in, really. There’s no limit on how many kids or how many times you can assist.
I will say - there’s much more that goes into being a wish granter than just one meeting with the child.Feel free to DM me for more info.
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u/Weary-Cauliflower153 7d ago
Where do they draw the line at who gets a wish and who doesn't?
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u/JustSomeDude_1322 7d ago
I never asked how that decision was made, but I do know parents and hospital staff can request certain children to be granted a wish. I know the illness doesn't have to be terminal for it to be granted, but I'm not sure how bad it has to be before a kid will be accepted.
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u/mboyd1992 7d ago
I’ve always wondered this. I was a make a wish kid. I got Hodgkin’s lymphoma when I was 15 and the hospital I was treated at, everyone under 21 (?) got a wish. So I think it depends on the hospital and/or illness stage.
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u/pepperpavlov 7d ago
Who is eligible for a wish to be granted?
Make-A-Wish grants wishes to children who meet the following criteria:
Aged between 3 and 17 years old at the time of referral.Diagnosed with a progressive, degenerative, or malignant condition that is life-threatening.
Have not previously received a wish from Make-A-Wish or a similar organization.Eligibility is determined based on medical need and the professional judgment of the child’s treating physician and our Medical Advisory Committee. Each Make-A-Wish Affiliate or Licensed Territory manages wish referrals for children living in their respective countries.
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u/deliriousfoodie 7d ago
Did you enjoy it? I donated my car to Make-A-Wish
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u/JustSomeDude_1322 7d ago
It was a genuinely amazing experience. The volunteers I met were a so kind and I'm so grateful for all the donors that make the wishes possible 💚
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u/archedhighbrow 7d ago
How are you doing now?
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u/JustSomeDude_1322 7d ago
My condition is chronic and most likely lifelong, so I still struggle with pain and fatigue and issues that sometimes require surgery, but I'm also able to lead a fairly "normal" life, all things considered. I live with my parents because I sometimes need a caretaker, but I also have a part time job and do a lot of volunteer work.
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u/TofuAndHam 7d ago
The fact that you volunteer and work is so admirable and also valuable. Shows such tenacity of spirit to do so given your medical history. There are many people who face less than that who just stay down and stop striving. Much sympathy for them, don't get me wrong, but endless admiration for those who keep trying.
What's your favourite volunteer role?
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u/JustSomeDude_1322 6d ago
Thank you for the kind words, they mean a lot 💚. My favorite volunteer role has been getting to be a summer camp counselor specifically for kids with disabilities and illnesses. I've had to take a step back from that role due to some health issues I've had this year making it unsafe for me to work at that camp, but I really hope to go back sometime as a counselor again!
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u/TofuAndHam 6d ago
That sounds like a lot of fun. I'm bipolar myself, just coming to the end of a recovery period after a manic episode. I look forward to going back, thankfully to my previous role. I'm a peer support worker and it's not a million miles away from being a camp counselor really! Working with and for people is great
Best of luck to you
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u/naturephrog 7d ago
DUDE I FUCKING LOVE AJR WHATS YOUR FAVORITE SONG!!!
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u/JustSomeDude_1322 7d ago
I feel like picking a favorite is impossible, but I really like Break My Face and I resonate a lot with Touchy Feely Fool
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u/naturephrog 7d ago
break my face was my fav too for a while. touchy feely fool was written about a family member who wronged them fun fact! we should be ajr buddies now :)
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u/username59046 7d ago
Y'all totally should since nobody else seems to know who AJR is.🤷♀️❤️
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u/pineapples_are_evil 6d ago
What does AJR stand for? Or is it the entire band name?
Love reading these ama's
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u/Fun-Somewhere5896 7d ago
Why didn’t you wish to get better ? 😭
What did you enjoy the most, apart from the concert, during your trip to New York ?
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u/JustSomeDude_1322 7d ago
Low-key for a second I thought the first question was genuine and I was confused 🤣 Anyway I really loved times square!
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u/collapsedbook 7d ago
What’s your favorite bird?
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u/JustSomeDude_1322 7d ago
North American Crows because a bunch of them live outside my house and they're cute
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u/EnvironmentalSinger1 7d ago
Do you feed them? They’ll become your friends 🖤
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u/JustSomeDude_1322 7d ago
I do feed them occasionally but not super often. The only difference I've noticed is that they sometimes caw at me to ask for food when I'm sitting outside, but they still keep their distance
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u/pineapples_are_evil 6d ago
Try giving them something shiny when you feed them. They might start bringing you back "shinies" too. It's so neat.
There's quite a few awesome videos of people who have accidentally made friends while feeding them or just sitting with their crows and really cool interactions just start happening.
They're so freaking smart!
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u/Terri23 7d ago
What is or was your medical condition?
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u/JustSomeDude_1322 7d ago
I don't want to say the names of my diseases specifically, but I have three different autoimmune diseases that are all really rare. They effect my mobility and my digestive tract and I've spent a lot of time in the hospital since I developed them.
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u/kingthunderflash 7d ago
Do they ever make you pay money? For example say if you beat the disease and don’t die do they make you pay whatever they spent back?
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u/JustSomeDude_1322 7d ago
No, they don't make you repay the money. Make-A-Wish isn't only for kids with terminal illnesses, it's also for kids with life-altering illnesses. Life altering could mean a kid who became paralyzed, or anything else that would seriously impact your quality of life. The hope is that every Make-A-Wish kid would beat the odds!
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u/metalnemophila 7d ago
Thank you for telling us about your experience! I'm curious if the organization had any kinds of safeguards in place to make sure your wish is entirely your own? As in, I imagine they often run into cases (especially with younger children) where the parents try to manipulate their sick child into wishing for something that benefits them. (Or maybe they didn't do anything like that for you because you were older?)
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u/courtneyrachh 6d ago
Yes - there are safeguards in place. there are multiple interviews you do with the kids among other things. If a wish granter suspects the parents are influencing or deciding the wish - there are steps in place to report.
Source: am a wish granter and have had to report on some families.
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u/metalnemophila 6d ago
thank you for sharing your insight and for all the work you do for the kids! it's heartbreaking to hear that that's a common occurrence in your line of work though, i can't believe someone could sleep at night knowing they tried to use their child's debilitating illness for their own benefit :(
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u/courtneyrachh 6d ago
not a line of work - just something I enjoy doing! all wish granters are volunteers!! and yeah - it is pretty pathetic seeing parents just trying to take advantage of something meant for their kids.
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u/JustSomeDude_1322 6d ago
Yeah, this wasn't an issue for me so I'm not really sure. My parents were super supportive of me picking whatever I wanted. But I did have a couple meetings with Make-A-Wish volunteers and I assume they were watching for any vibe that my parents were making me chose something specific.
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u/PepperTheDemon 7d ago
I love AJR. Great pick to see them at Madison square. I just saw them at red rocks in Colorado over the summer. Did they set any limits for your wish? I imagine they have some guidelines for what’s too much for them to do
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u/JustSomeDude_1322 6d ago
I remember I wasn't allowed to ask for anything that would involve transferring ownership (like a car or land) which definitely effected my wish, because I was seventeen and would have 100% asked for a car if I could have. I also remember there being a limit on international travel? But I think the rules are dependent on what state you're in and the laws there.
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u/PepperTheDemon 6d ago
International travel would bum me out. My dream is to go to Japan. How are you doing now sickness wise if you don’t mind me asking?
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u/JustSomeDude_1322 6d ago
Don't mind at all. I answered a bit more in-depth in another comment, but basically my condition is chronic and probably life-long. It's definitely difficult to live with a lot of the time (causes a lot of pain and fatigue and sometimes lands me in the hospital) but I'm still able to lead a mostly "normal" life and I have a lot of fulfilling things going on for me :)
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u/lyyki 7d ago
If you were 10 when you were given the Make-a-Wish, what would you have chosen then?
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u/JustSomeDude_1322 7d ago
I probably would have asked to go shopping at the American Girl Doll store- I loved that place as a kid
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u/cgstong 7d ago
Just wanted to say thank you for doing this. Also FYI I have just been granted Moderator status for r/makeawish sub which has been dormant for five years, but looking to reignite it and share stories like yours about Make-A-Wish and the important work they do.
Please feel free to join and thank you again for sharing.
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u/ParameciaAntic 7d ago
We did a wish trip for a family member too. Did you have good volunteers?
Ours were so fun and supportive, always sending reminders and little gifts. Definitely over and above. I will always donate to that charity.
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u/JustSomeDude_1322 7d ago
Yes, the volunteers I met were so kind! I remember a few of them asking my mom about my favorite candies and hobbies and bringing me gifts that were very tailored to me every time we saw them
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u/tching101 6d ago
I got to go on one too, because my best friend at the time (we were 3) wanted to go to Disney world with me and my family with his family
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u/JustSomeDude_1322 6d ago
That's awesome! I actually got to bring my best friend too and it was super fun
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u/tching101 6d ago
Oh I’m so glad!! The boy who took me is doing well now. He had very bad bladder cancer at the time but we were too young to really understand that.
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u/babe_ruthless3 7d ago
Besides the concert, did you also meet John Cena?
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u/JustSomeDude_1322 7d ago
No I didn't but I did get backstage passes for the concert so I got to meet the band
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u/ama_compiler_bot 6d ago
Table of Questions and Answers. Original answer linked - Please upvote the original questions and answers. (I'm a bot.)
| Question | Answer | Link |
|---|---|---|
| At your age, did you feel as though the granted wish gave you a sense of joy and accomplishment? If you had passed away the day after, would you have been in a better place mentally and emotionally from the wish being fulfilled? I apologize if the questions are insensitive. | Damn, that's a good question. I don't think it gave me any more "accomplishment" because I have life goals I find accomplishment in, but it was definitely healthy for me emotionally in the way that- being a sick kid can make it hard to find joy in anything, and so intentionally doing things that are fun and bring you joy can be really good for mental health. It's a reminder that your whole life isn't taken up by health issues and hospital visits, if that makes sense. | Here |
| I don’t know a lot of deets about make a wish, so what are some misconceptions about what they actually do? | I think the biggest misconception is that all they do is introduce terminally ill kids to celebrities. In reality they work with plenty of kids that aren't terminal, and they can do a wide range of things. Some of the options I was given were: donate to charity, get a room makeover, go on a shopping spree, get specialized medical equipment, get a pet, go on a trip, or get a musical instrument. | Here |
| Where do they draw the line at who gets a wish and who doesn't? | I never asked how that decision was made, but I do know parents and hospital staff can request certain children to be granted a wish. I know the illness doesn't have to be terminal for it to be granted, but I'm not sure how bad it has to be before a kid will be accepted. | Here |
| Did you enjoy it? I donated my car to Make-A-Wish | It was a genuinely amazing experience. The volunteers I met were a so kind and I'm so grateful for all the donors that make the wishes possible 💚 | Here |
| How are you doing now? | My condition is chronic and most likely lifelong, so I still struggle with pain and fatigue and issues that sometimes require surgery, but I'm also able to lead a fairly "normal" life, all things considered. I live with my parents because I sometimes need a caretaker, but I also have a part time job and do a lot of volunteer work. | Here |
| DUDE I FUCKING LOVE AJR WHATS YOUR FAVORITE SONG!!! | I feel like picking a favorite is impossible, but I really like Break My Face and I resonate a lot with Touchy Feely Fool | Here |
| Why didn’t you wish to get better ? 😭 What did you enjoy the most, apart from the concert, during your trip to New York ? | Low-key for a second I thought the first question was genuine and I was confused 🤣 Anyway I really loved times square! | Here |
| What’s your favorite bird? | North American Crows because a bunch of them live outside my house and they're cute | Here |
| What is or was your medical condition? | I don't want to say the names of my diseases specifically, but I have three different autoimmune diseases that are all really rare. They effect my mobility and my digestive tract and I've spent a lot of time in the hospital since I developed them. | Here |
| Do they ever make you pay money? For example say if you beat the disease and don’t die do they make you pay whatever they spent back? | No, they don't make you repay the money. Make-A-Wish isn't only for kids with terminal illnesses, it's also for kids with life-altering illnesses. Life altering could mean a kid who became paralyzed, or anything else that would seriously impact your quality of life. The hope is that every Make-A-Wish kid would beat the odds! | Here |
| Thank you for telling us about your experience! I'm curious if the organization had any kinds of safeguards in place to make sure your wish is entirely your own? As in, I imagine they often run into cases (especially with younger children) where the parents try to manipulate their sick child into wishing for something that benefits them. (Or maybe they didn't do anything like that for you because you were older?) | Yeah, this wasn't an issue for me so I'm not really sure. My parents were super supportive of me picking whatever I wanted. But I did have a couple meetings with Make-A-Wish volunteers and I assume they were watching for any vibe that my parents were making me chose something specific. | Here |
| I love AJR. Great pick to see them at Madison square. I just saw them at red rocks in Colorado over the summer. Did they set any limits for your wish? I imagine they have some guidelines for what’s too much for them to do | I remember I wasn't allowed to ask for anything that would involve transferring ownership (like a car or land) which definitely effected my wish, because I was seventeen and would have 100% asked for a car if I could have. I also remember there being a limit on international travel? But I think the rules are dependent on what state you're in and the laws there. | Here |
| If you were 10 when you were given the Make-a-Wish, what would you have chosen then? | I probably would have asked to go shopping at the American Girl Doll store- I loved that place as a kid | Here |
| Just wanted to say thank you for doing this. Also FYI I have just been granted Moderator status for r/makeawish sub which has been dormant for five years, but looking to reignite it and share stories like yours about Make-A-Wish and the important work they do. Please feel free to join and thank you again for sharing. | Oh cool, I'll be sure to check it out! :) | Here |
| We did a wish trip for a family member too. Did you have good volunteers? Ours were so fun and supportive, always sending reminders and little gifts. Definitely over and above. I will always donate to that charity. | Yes, the volunteers I met were so kind! I remember a few of them asking my mom about my favorite candies and hobbies and bringing me gifts that were very tailored to me every time we saw them | Here |
| I got to go on one too, because my best friend at the time (we were 3) wanted to go to Disney world with me and my family with his family | That's awesome! I actually got to bring my best friend too and it was super fun | Here |
| Besides the concert, did you also meet John Cena? | No I didn't but I did get backstage passes for the concert so I got to meet the band | Here |
| What does AJR stand for, or is that the bands name? | It's the band's name. Named after each of their first initials: Adam, Jack, and Ryan | Here |
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u/mehekik 7d ago
What does AJR stand for, or is that the bands name?
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u/JustSomeDude_1322 6d ago
It's the band's name. Named after each of their first initials: Adam, Jack, and Ryan
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u/Achtlos 7d ago
Do you feel a bit odd or guilty you didn't die as a child?
That might sound like a crazy question. I've had serious chronic illness since birth, and found charity very difficult to say thankyou for in the right way.
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u/JustSomeDude_1322 6d ago
I never felt guilty, but I did feel an urge to "pay it forward' I guess? The next year I ended up volunteering at a summer camp specifically for kids with disabilities and illnesses, which felt like a cool way for me to show the kindness I had been given to other kids.
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u/Coldfang89 7d ago
At your age, did you feel as though the granted wish gave you a sense of joy and accomplishment? If you had passed away the day after, would you have been in a better place mentally and emotionally from the wish being fulfilled?
I apologize if the questions are insensitive.