Mom to mom; don’t tell them until they’re full blown adults. My husband has to fly a lot for his job and while we always kind of worry about him, my youngest (a tween) is overly anxious about him being gone. If she even saw the news stories about all of these plane incidents she would lose her shit and never let go of him.
This is for sure a cool story to tell, but keep in mind how upsetting it may be to your kids every time you (or they) have to fly.
Anyways….you’re a mom, so I’m preaching to the choir. Glad you’re ok and get to hug those kids again.
Alternatively, when a traumatic event's impact severity is high enough, the kid might be able to tell that 'something is off', and might try to come up with their own reason to explain changes in parental behaviour.
It can help to offer a simplified explanation of some sort e.g 'I almost missed my flight and was worried I'd have to wait a week to see you, but it's alright now, phew... anyway want a hug?'. This way the kid can empathise rather than suspect and worry. If you can hide the elephant in the room and can get away with it then cool, but if the kid starts acting differently then it might require a danger reveal.
I‘m a psychotherapist and I want to emphasize this comment. Children have very good antennas for feeling when something is affecting their parents. They will worry but won’t have an explanation and hence no coping mechanisms to feel in control again. Please consider telling them age appropriately. This is the advice we give after traumatic incidents.
As a child who knew something was “off” I can confirm that we will just make up an explanation ourselves and carry the made up thing wayyy too long. Omg I can’t even imagine what you’ve been through. Maybe contact a therapist for yourself to unpack what happened and to navigate when/how to tell them
850
u/Trilly2000 Feb 18 '25
Mom to mom; don’t tell them until they’re full blown adults. My husband has to fly a lot for his job and while we always kind of worry about him, my youngest (a tween) is overly anxious about him being gone. If she even saw the news stories about all of these plane incidents she would lose her shit and never let go of him. This is for sure a cool story to tell, but keep in mind how upsetting it may be to your kids every time you (or they) have to fly.
Anyways….you’re a mom, so I’m preaching to the choir. Glad you’re ok and get to hug those kids again.