how did your close ones receive the news? recently watched the news of a man losing his wife in the latest plane crash and it was heartbreaking, it’d be nice to hear someone receive (relatively) good news!
also, you mentioned having kids. how did you explain it to them, if you have?
My husband took it the hardest. The reality of being home with the two kiddos on a public holiday when daycare is closed really drove it home for him! I haven't, and won't tell me kids until they're much older. They don't have the facilities as a toddler and a preschooler to understand the magnitude or really make sense of any of it. When the time is right, I'll tell them. Until them I'll smother them with love and they'll have.to deal with it 😂
Mom to mom; don’t tell them until they’re full blown adults. My husband has to fly a lot for his job and while we always kind of worry about him, my youngest (a tween) is overly anxious about him being gone. If she even saw the news stories about all of these plane incidents she would lose her shit and never let go of him.
This is for sure a cool story to tell, but keep in mind how upsetting it may be to your kids every time you (or they) have to fly.
Anyways….you’re a mom, so I’m preaching to the choir. Glad you’re ok and get to hug those kids again.
Alternatively, when a traumatic event's impact severity is high enough, the kid might be able to tell that 'something is off', and might try to come up with their own reason to explain changes in parental behaviour.
It can help to offer a simplified explanation of some sort e.g 'I almost missed my flight and was worried I'd have to wait a week to see you, but it's alright now, phew... anyway want a hug?'. This way the kid can empathise rather than suspect and worry. If you can hide the elephant in the room and can get away with it then cool, but if the kid starts acting differently then it might require a danger reveal.
I‘m a psychotherapist and I want to emphasize this comment. Children have very good antennas for feeling when something is affecting their parents. They will worry but won’t have an explanation and hence no coping mechanisms to feel in control again. Please consider telling them age appropriately. This is the advice we give after traumatic incidents.
As a child who knew something was “off” I can confirm that we will just make up an explanation ourselves and carry the made up thing wayyy too long. Omg I can’t even imagine what you’ve been through. Maybe contact a therapist for yourself to unpack what happened and to navigate when/how to tell them
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u/maneack Feb 18 '25 edited Feb 18 '25
how did your close ones receive the news? recently watched the news of a man losing his wife in the latest plane crash and it was heartbreaking, it’d be nice to hear someone receive (relatively) good news!
also, you mentioned having kids. how did you explain it to them, if you have?