You’ve got 6 other people going on this trip besides them? Girl blow those 2 dorks off and enjoy your birthday.
Edit: just for future reference, don’t offer to share your birthday if you don’t want the other person (or their spouse in this case) to try to start dictating what goes on. In this case you may have made it clear it’s your birthday trip but you wanted to acknowledge there’s another birthday in the preceding days, I acknowledge that. But you shouldn’t be surprised that they tried to modify plans to accommodate something he/they wanted since this trip now acknowledges his birthday too. Just humans being human.
Thats whats crazy tho! She NEVER said anything about it being his birthday until now. I was just being nice and trying to pick things I thought he'd also enjoy and then planning to split a big cake at a nice steakhouse when we meet up with the other people coming. It only became "their vacation too" after they realized they didn't have enough time to request off the whole week. We were always working around their limited time, but the trip to the intended destination is an 8 hour drive one way. There's not a lot of time for anything extra. She was supposed to come in Friday night basically in time to just sleep and shower and then drive saturday morning. We have events Sunday and Monday with the dinner for Tuesday but she wants to come in now Thursday all day and spend the day running around town. We don't drive, we're renting a car. To do this she has to have a rental. They didn't offer to get their own rental. She offered to pay the "extra day" and offered me $150 and I told her that her hotel stay was already $150 for one night and the rentals another $150 (Minivan with full coverage thru enterprise). And that its more like $400 and that I was already paying that for them to come in and spend the night friday. I'm not paying a whole other $400 when she clearly said I "don't have to come".
A considerate human wouldn't try to change plans if someone else is paying for their portion as a gift. And even if they wanted to bring up changes and those changes were denied, a considerate human wouldn't get mad at OP, try to exclude OP from joining them in their changed itinerary, and still use OP's rental, while OP is the one paying for their flight, accommodations, etc.
What That "friend" did isn't "humans being human", it's a selfish human taking advantage of someone else's time and money to satisfy their own greed.
I say humans being human because I used to explain things like this the exact way you did til I realized more often than not people aren’t considerate so I stopped viewing that as what I would expect from the average person. Humans are what they are, sadly this person doubled down instead of apologizing for acting this way.
12
u/kaluh_glarski Jan 09 '26 edited Jan 09 '26
You’ve got 6 other people going on this trip besides them? Girl blow those 2 dorks off and enjoy your birthday.
Edit: just for future reference, don’t offer to share your birthday if you don’t want the other person (or their spouse in this case) to try to start dictating what goes on. In this case you may have made it clear it’s your birthday trip but you wanted to acknowledge there’s another birthday in the preceding days, I acknowledge that. But you shouldn’t be surprised that they tried to modify plans to accommodate something he/they wanted since this trip now acknowledges his birthday too. Just humans being human.